Venting

[Tired_and_over_it]

Hi, this is my first post and I just wanted to vent. Its probably going to be long so if you don’t feel like reading I suggest moving on now.

To start, I am a 38 female and I have had mental health issues for years. My diagnosis’s have been depression, anxiety, bi-polar type 2, borderline personality disorder and autistic traits. I have physical conditions diagnosed such as spinal issues, arthritis, joint hyper mobility relating to a connective tissue disorder, reynaulds syndrome among others. I won’t go further into the physical conditions as this post is about mental health, however physical issues come into it so i included for clarity.

I work in a government job, and since august last year my physical conditions have flared so I can only work reduced hours. Prior to this I managed my symptoms ok, and working full time. I am good at my job, going above and beyond and was rewarded with a promotion. It was after receiving this promotion that my physical symptoms flared prevented me from working full time. Instead of being an inclusive and supportive workplace they made my life hell and put me through so much to try and get me to quit or demote myself. Since this began my job has been in limbo with constant threats by my employer of losing my job.

The problems at work have exacerbated my mental conditions. I have been struggling since august of last year and the issues are still continuing to this day. I have a wonderful GP, clinical psychologist and psychiatrist. Im on numerous medications to help. Then the corona virus hits, and now the country is ‘encouraged’ to stay at home and not go out. I was swimming a couple of times a week which was helping, it felt like I could forget everything when I was swimming and just had the water surrounding me, it was a form of meditation. Now I can’t go, and my physical issues prevent other forms of exercise, including walking or I end up in a lot of pain.

Im now isolated (with husband and daughter), I can’t go swimming, I can’t get out and I don’t know how long this will last. I’m waiting to see if Comcare will accept my claim, my job is still in limbo and now stuck at home because of COVID-19.

I just want to explode or hide from everything which I can’t because I need to move and rest equally to try limit pain. I hate being in limbo and I have to guide my daughter in her remote learning. run out of characters but I think I explained. I’m struggling with a lot and needed to get it out. Thanks for listening.

[Croix]

Tired and over it
Welcome here. I’ve read you post and as I did I felt increasing admiration. You have been handed by life very debilitating mental and physical conditions yet you have overcome them, excelling at your full-time occupation and even been recognised with a promotion. You had worked out a coping system that got you by.

Now there’s been a change, your symptoms have increased, your abilities effected, and the support of your coping mechanisms removed -all at least in some part temporary I’d hope.

On top you have a job that is being as difficult as possible. I understand that, I was summarily invalided out, no choice. As you have strong medical support I’d be hopeful that COMCARE will accept your claim. Having your own professionals to go to bat for you makes a big difference.

May I ask if you live in a supportive environment? Even if you do having a family (husband and daughter) can be very tiring and taxing, no matter how nice they are.

From reading your words I’d imagine you have intelligence, determination and imagination. As a result I’d be surprised if already you had not started to think about how to improve your situation, enhance your ability to cope. Do you have any ideas as yet? Maybe the home schooling might turn into a blessing, I don’t know.

Having to wait on an important decision is something I’ve found exceedingly hard, and I have found a little relieve with the free smartphone app Smiling Mind. You mentioned meditation, this can promote mindfulness and maybe allow you to meditate during or after use.

I have spinal condition that can be very painful, even so Smiling Mind, which can focus on the body, is usable with practice.

You mentioned ‘venting’. Well reaching out to others in this way is a natural thing, and helpful, as others can then understand and even give support

I hope to hear from you again

Croix