Depression

Depression affects people in Australia every day. Share your own story and learn about other member’s experiences with depression.

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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
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Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
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I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
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Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Maggie_ Lonely and homesick
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I emigrated to Australia 7 years ago and had my first child here October 2019. My parents were going to visit after the birth but I told them not to worry as I planned on going back to the UK for a visit in May 2020 so that everyone can meet our baby... View more

I emigrated to Australia 7 years ago and had my first child here October 2019. My parents were going to visit after the birth but I told them not to worry as I planned on going back to the UK for a visit in May 2020 so that everyone can meet our baby. Both mine and my husband's families are in the UK - we have zero family in Australia. Anyway covid hit and now fast forward 14 months and our families still haven't met our daughter. I'm heartbroken by this and feel so completely homesick and lonely here. What hasn't helped is that my friends in Australia seemed to hardly contact or visit me once i had a baby and I tried making new mum friends but most of the time they're busy as it seems everyone else has extended family here (or very close friends) but us! I feel like everyone else has a big support network and I have no one. I don't think I'd want to move back to the UK as I think my daughter will have a better life here but I just worry I'll always feel lonely and homesick. I desperately miss my parents and sisters. I think about how much more enjoyable my maternity leave would have been if I was around them rather than here alone with no family or friends. Does anyone else here suffer from severe homesickness? What do you find helps? Thank you

Bubble44 I don't know why I keep fighting.
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To be clear, this isn't a post about being suicidal. I'm not and I'm confident that I never will be. Despite that though, I feel like I'm done with life. I fought so hard to dig my way out of a pit of unrelenting depression and loneliness. The very s... View more

To be clear, this isn't a post about being suicidal. I'm not and I'm confident that I never will be. Despite that though, I feel like I'm done with life. I fought so hard to dig my way out of a pit of unrelenting depression and loneliness. The very short version is due to extreme abuse at the hands of family members for two whole decades, I took much longer than most people my age to develop social skills. I'm 21 now. During high school, there was about a 4 year period where I had maybe two conversations a day that weren't with a family member (which you can't escape if you live with them). I had no friends. They all left me. I spent my final years of high school desperately fighting to attain a core group of friends who actually cared about me. And I did it. I thought I won. Despite countless nights of crying myself to sleep because all I had felt for years was rage and pain I finally had a group of people around me who genuinely cared and supported me. I did it, despite all the odds. So here I am. Everything should be okay now right? Well, most of my friends have abandoned me because I refused to put up with issues from someone in the group. He tried to rape a friend of mine (she was their friend too). They admitted that yes, he did try to rape her. So who did they choose? Me, who never did anything to any of them? Of course not. They cut me out of their lives and continued to associate with this rapist. Now, I could understand if they cut us both off. Sometimes people just don't get along. Not everyone has to like me. I get that. But keeping him and throwing me away? There is only one way to interpret that. People that I loved more than I have ever loved my own family, people that meant EVERYTHING to me. To these people, I am worth less than a rapist. The few friends I retained (who were also cut off) are also drifting away now. We have no common interests (they only ever talk about cars. Seriously, for hours on end) and they often organise events without inviting me. I also have no dating life. As soon as a girl notices I'm inexperienced or notice a hint of my depression, they vanish. I have spent half of my life one notch away from wanting to end my life. I prevailed (and will continue to), but what do I have to show for it? I am worth less than a rapist. When my closest friends thought that, how could anyone ever care? What's the point of having friends? What's the point in dating? Why should I even bother? It always ends the same way.

Selim Could I be transgender and depressed because I am wise beyond my years
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Hi, I’m 27 and have been dealing with cross dressing and desires to live as a woman since I was in year 10 (since I was 16). never been in a heterosexual relationship with a woman but I want to live my life as a woman and be with a man or a woman. I ... View more

Hi, I’m 27 and have been dealing with cross dressing and desires to live as a woman since I was in year 10 (since I was 16). never been in a heterosexual relationship with a woman but I want to live my life as a woman and be with a man or a woman. I have been depressed since 2014 and had various diagnosis. i recall once wearing a pair of pink/purple male shorts when I came into work and the trainee store manager commented something like I was beyond my manhood. in recent years I have been dressing as feminine as possible on some occasions and I really love it and am pretty sure I’d be happier having female body characteristics. at the same time some people told me I ‘you are wise beyond your years’ as they commented on my mature attitude towards politics haha. What do you think?

Brett4991 I feel trapped
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I dont know how to explain myself but I feel like nothing makes me feel joy any more. I have always dedicated myself to others through my work or my actions. But when I get home to my girlfriend I feel nothing but regret and shame. I have never been ... View more

I dont know how to explain myself but I feel like nothing makes me feel joy any more. I have always dedicated myself to others through my work or my actions. But when I get home to my girlfriend I feel nothing but regret and shame. I have never been the best boyfriend although I have tried so hard but nothing I do seems to make her happy. I have given up friends, moved houses, moved states, left jobs and even restrict my job optunities in my new job so I can be there but its never enough. I always make her upset or mad which gets my upset or mad, I find myself in this never ending cycle where I'm the bad guy or she is. We have broken up multiple times and we he have both always begged one another to get back together now I feel like I have ruined her life that I should of left long ago before we gave so much to each other before I resented her before I made choices that truly broke my heart in the hopes I would make her happy. Now I go home and feel empty I don't have anything to give, I feel nothing for my family or friends I feel like a failure cause I can't remember that last time I truly felt happy. I feel if I leave her all my sacrifices that I have made would be for nothing but if I stay I will ruin her life and my own. She isn't a bad person I know she means no harm and she can't help it but I want out I want to feel alive again I want to be able to have dreams without worrying I will hurt her but I'm terrified I will crush her im terrifiedif I lose the last thing in my world that's a constant ill have no reason to get up in the morning.i feel that no matter what I chose my life will be over.

Canttakemuchmoreofthis I cant see the end to this life of misery.
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Hi, Been struggling with depression since I was around 12-13 years old. This feeling of loneliness and emptiness started when my family immigrated to Australia. I never felt that I fitted in socially, struggled with social cues and was always made fu... View more

Hi, Been struggling with depression since I was around 12-13 years old. This feeling of loneliness and emptiness started when my family immigrated to Australia. I never felt that I fitted in socially, struggled with social cues and was always made fun of. Shortly after, around the age of 15, I started using alcohol and drugs, which gave me the relief and escape I needed, for awhile. Unfortunately, this turned into an addiction(s) for the last ~20-25 years and even though I managed to hold the same job all that time (even though I hated it everyday), my life got progressively worse. 2 years ago I had a mental break down and went to rehab. Since then I haven't used or had a drink since, don't even smoke cigarettes anymore. The thing is, the depression is still as potent as the day it started. My family all hate me. My sister goes out of her way to turn everyone against me with lies and twisted truths. She has even convinced my extended family to stay away from me. My mother constantly tells me I am a loser and scum. My father is the only person who tries to help me but doesn't have any understanding about depression, even though I have tied explaining it many times. His approach is, well you haven't had a drink in a while and if you just put a smile on your face, problem solved. I am currently live at home, approaching the age of 40 and have no desire for anything in life, nothing.I have no friends, have no desire for a romantic relationship, have no hobbies, can't stand sport, have next to no emotions other than anger and get zero enjoyment from anything. My parents constantly argue and fight because of me, always comparing me to other relatives and friends as to how successful they all are. I want to move out but simply cannot afford to as I just cannot bare the stacked on depression and despair that comes with going to work, being paid barely enough to put food on the table and pay rent while also dealing with other people everyday, not because I hate people, it is because the amount of mental bandwidth needed to process / pickup on the social behaviors of other people / social groups. I feel like I am trapped in a corner with no way of fixing my life and my constant feeling of nothingness.

Louie123 My relationship is over because of my depression.
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I (female) think I’ve been depressed for months if not years now. I slowly pushed my kind, caring, loving supportive partner away. I am due to get help, my appointment is a few weeks away. But I felt like I was a burden, and he’d be better off withou... View more

I (female) think I’ve been depressed for months if not years now. I slowly pushed my kind, caring, loving supportive partner away. I am due to get help, my appointment is a few weeks away. But I felt like I was a burden, and he’d be better off without me. I struggled to connect with him, or anyone else. Because of COVID, I became a recluse. I withdrew from everyone, and everything. I blamed it on Covid but it was really me, wanting to hide away from everyone else. We stopped seeing each other as frequently, and our sex life fizzled. I’d get no joy out of anything, even the nice things he did for me. it’s only been 24 hours, but it feels like 24 years and I’m lost without him. We have a great connection, and when I wasn’t as depressed, we had the best times ever. Is it a selfish thing to ask him to hold on, and allow me to heal from my past. In hopes our spark comes back, and we can be the same couple we once were? In my heart I don’t think he wanted this to end. I don’t have a social life, and don’t have a friend close enough to vent too. He’s the person I turn too, and now I can’t. Id love some honest advice from someone who has been through this before and can help me.

Rainbow1234 High and low moods
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Hi all, I have been having such a mixture of emotions for a long time and it’s getting harder to navigate. I have found I get extremely irritable at a drop of a hat and I can’t let it go, my once empathetic self is becoming lost. Once I am angry or d... View more

Hi all, I have been having such a mixture of emotions for a long time and it’s getting harder to navigate. I have found I get extremely irritable at a drop of a hat and I can’t let it go, my once empathetic self is becoming lost. Once I am angry or down I can’t pull myself out of this feeling, I tend to go through really high high’s like I am happy with how everything is going and really low low’s like I’m not where I need to be and play the victim internally. I overanalyse everything to the point it wakes me up during the night and it causes me to have less self esteem which I am worried will hold me back. I don’t want to talk to family or friends about this as I don’t feel close enough to share and I find it hard to approach the subject with my GP . I hold myself and my actions to a high standard which I think is part of my downfall and take on everyone else’s problems which I shouldn’t. I wouldn’t mind seeing someone or seeing what my options are but I don’t know how to move forward. any advice would be great.

Your-Pal-Jess Does beyond blue help?
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I’m new to this site and thought I would just check it out as see if it helps me but looking through all the feeds, hundreds of people all trying to get help just in the last few days makes me feel more hopeless than ever. How do I get it all to stop... View more

I’m new to this site and thought I would just check it out as see if it helps me but looking through all the feeds, hundreds of people all trying to get help just in the last few days makes me feel more hopeless than ever. How do I get it all to stop feeling so hopeless and painful.

Davs Just lost my job and have a drinking problem
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Hey am not exactly sure what to write here as it is my first time really admitting that there is anything wrong. I’ve been battling with depression for a while but have never tried to seek any help. Have also had a problem with alcohol and drugs for ... View more

Hey am not exactly sure what to write here as it is my first time really admitting that there is anything wrong. I’ve been battling with depression for a while but have never tried to seek any help. Have also had a problem with alcohol and drugs for a few years now and was just let go from my job today. I’m worried this is going to cause me to fall further into depression and maybe get worse. Not exactly sure what I’m asking for here.. but thought maybe I would post something to see if anyone could give any advice

Automaton Discussion: The Nature of Depression
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This may be a bit of a grim topic, so either don't read on, if it's too hard to read, or try to bear with me, but I've been thinking about the nature of depression, and I've been wondering, is depression what makes a chased animal (prey) stop when it... View more

This may be a bit of a grim topic, so either don't read on, if it's too hard to read, or try to bear with me, but I've been thinking about the nature of depression, and I've been wondering, is depression what makes a chased animal (prey) stop when it is caught, and when it realises there is no hope of escape, stay down, and give up their life for the benefit of their predator? You see, I've come to realise that when I am depressed, it is usually a time when, ultimately, I see no way to live and make it in the world, when my own life and survival seem completely hopeless with certainty. As soon as there is the slightest glimmer of hope that I can survive and my life will be worth living, the burden on my heart and mind lightens, and my recovery from depression begins. As long as I act on it, of course. I wonder if this is depression's natural purpose -- to numb our senses just before sudden death, and reduce our physical suffering. If this is the case, then naturally it is only intended to happen just before we are killed, and not the way it happens in our human lives, where depression becomes its own prolonged state of mental and emotional suffering, when we are certain there is no way to make it. The reason we fall into such a prolonged depression has to do with our thinking lives, and in that case the cure in most of our instances is to *do* (without thinking too much), to connect with our inner calling, and seek genuine meaning in our existence, wherever we can find it. The most important thing is to realise that we are depressed either because we don't see any hope -- and so we need to get out there, explore, and find it (because, trust me, it *is* out there, always -- you just need to look outside the box you've been put in) -- or because our body is out of balance, and giving us the wrong signal -- in which case, for our health, we should take conscious effort to bring our body back in balance (with nutrition, medication, routine, healthy lifestyle, exercise, whatever it takes). I'm not sure if you're able to follow my reasoning here, but feel free to post your thoughts in this open discussion. Everyone's perspective matters, and there are no right or wrong answers here. I am thinking that by rationally understanding the reasons behind depression we can learn to better help ourselves when we are down, learn what we need to do to end it, and learn to predict its coming (to an extent). Would love to hear your genuine thoughts and experiences.