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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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JacintaMarie Hi
  • replies: 3

Hi I've recently had my period or curse as I call it.With work, as much as I try not too,I just seem to keep on saying wrong thing or doing wrong ady at work had allergy with the wipes though she's not been affected since we've had them, to cut a lon... View more

Hi I've recently had my period or curse as I call it.With work, as much as I try not too,I just seem to keep on saying wrong thing or doing wrong ady at work had allergy with the wipes though she's not been affected since we've had them, to cut a long story short she asked me to find some hyperallergenic ones, but not to buy them, I do wonder at the logic of asking me to find some but not to buy any, why ask to search or why didn't she just find it herself.Anyway, she has been stressed out, but need to be kind, but as my Mum says, she chose to do a Team Leader job & that job has stresses & problems, but you do get paid a decent amount to deal with the stresses & problems.Sometimes I think she's tired with working & needs to retire, not that I want her to go, it's just work seems to be too much for her & I'm making her grumpy by being me. I just at times, I just do the wrong thing, I can't always make her happy, sometimes I do, bur I just stuff up, She's 63. I need to be more kinder, as it is tiring for people in their 60s, but I'm wise enough not to tell her she needs to retire, she needs to realize this herself (I don't know how long it's going to take her to realize she's getting tired) but if I do. My horrible thought that I had today, was I just want her to retire! To be able to live her life & have life & not be stuck at work! But to all you oldies out there, please keep on working till your 100 if you want!!! As long as your happy, keep on working! Sorry if your offended, I just feel sorry for people who look and act like the work is too much.How can I be better or be better at communicating, I'm just s*** at it, I always say wrong thing. I get complimented but I don't beliec3 it as sooner or later I'm going to f*** up & get told off

pikachu22 Dealing with Anxiety
  • replies: 7

Hi everyone,I’ve been living with Anxiety for years now. I haven’t officially been diagnosed but I know that I have it. I’ve noticed now that I have experienced Anxiety at its worst three seperate times in my life. Once when I was still in highschool... View more

Hi everyone,I’ve been living with Anxiety for years now. I haven’t officially been diagnosed but I know that I have it. I’ve noticed now that I have experienced Anxiety at its worst three seperate times in my life. Once when I was still in highschool, again during my first relationship in 2020, and now, three years later. I know what works for me and how to overcome my anxiety, intrusive thoughts and stress, but what I am currently struggling with is struggling to understand that they are just thoughts and know that i will overcome it. There are multiple factors to my current feelings of anxiety. I have experienced burn out after completing two internships in rapid succession, one which was overseas, both in which were undertaken during my studies at university. I only had a week’s rest during this period of returning home to Australia, and starting University again for the new semester. I realised burnout was approaching, as I stopped feeling love and passion for my course, constantly doubted my abilities, and believed I wasn’t worth being in the course I am in today. This caused me to delay my course and take a 6 month break, but i still needed to finish off my first semester this year. During study this year, I started a new part time job which was 60 minutes away from my house. The only way for me to get to work was through public transportation, taking a bus and train. I worked four days a week 9-5, would have to wake up at 6am to arrive on time, and would return home at 6:30 pm. During this time, I also studied for two days a week, leaving my with only one day off a week. Doing this was extremely unsustainable to my mental health, and caused me to overload myself further i top of the burnout i had already developed. I was coping at first, but one day at work I had an anxious thought, and no matter what i did i couldn’t get it out of my head since I hadn’t experienced bad anxiety since 2020. Ever since then, i have been unable to get on top of my anxiety, and it has gotten to the point where I can’t even focus anymore. My head feels constantly clouded and it’s affecting me, and my relationships. I ended up resigning from the job, I haven’t drunk in three weeks and now I have started going back to the gym and exercising. I believe and know that i will get back on top of my anxiety again, but it’s so exhausting and stressful right now. i just want to think clearly again and get rid of my intrusive thoughts, but knowing that it will take a while to achieve this is making it harder for me too. If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know. I’m also sorry for rambling too. Thank you

purrfect Motivation and anxiety
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone,This is my first time posting in this forum. There’s a few things I’m struggling with at the moment but one that’s constant in my life is a problem with getting motivated and knowing what I want. I’ve tried so many things; creative and la... View more

Hi everyone,This is my first time posting in this forum. There’s a few things I’m struggling with at the moment but one that’s constant in my life is a problem with getting motivated and knowing what I want. I’ve tried so many things; creative and languages, etc but nothing has really stuck. Mainly because most things involve being around other people which I’m not comfortable with. I can go to parties with my partner and feel confident but when it comes to doing something like swimming or ceramics I really need to force myself every time. My Psychologist says that it takes time and practice but even after multiple times I still dread going. Does anyone feel like this and how do you deal with it?I now feel like I don’t want to do anything and if I can’t motivate or inspire myself to do anything how can I entice friends or my partner to do things together?

CHCH02 Cost of living and work anxiety
  • replies: 1

Recently at work I’ve had some anxiety around my hours, as it worries me that I won’t make ends meet each week. Recently ours hours dropped and my boss did communicate this to us and it always happens around the start of the financial year. They’ve r... View more

Recently at work I’ve had some anxiety around my hours, as it worries me that I won’t make ends meet each week. Recently ours hours dropped and my boss did communicate this to us and it always happens around the start of the financial year. They’ve recently picked up slightly but still not great and my boss hasn’t been doing our rosters because they’ve been away. So another person is and they are particularly bias so while one person who does the same job as me is getting 25-30 hours per week I’m getting 10-15 and then I have to wait to be called in. This just doesn’t feel fair to me because I’m given more tasks than they are or they leave the jobs for me to do when I come in. I’ve communicated some of this to my boss but wanted to avoid names so it didn’t come across as targeting and that I don’t trust her opinion. It just gave me so much anxiety about working with those people and that I had been doing something wrong when I hadn’t been, that I want to cry. I get called in and shifts extended but at the same time this makes me feel like I’m missing out on doing things in my life because I’m waiting for them to call because I need money. My parents are supportive in financially supporting me especially as a student but it’s hard, I don’t like asking them for money or help that way, they have their own financial issues. Especially since everything gone up and I’m not having consistent pay that I’m anxious I won’t be able to afford just the basic things. I’m not sure what’s to do next, my job and my relationship with my boss allows the flexibility I need for my studies so I don’t really want to look for a new job.

Neverhaveiever Overwhelmed
  • replies: 2

What a month. I’m disabled and hubby is my carer, and the last month has been hell. My sister sold her house after her hubby passed from cancer, so we (hubby) had to help her move, that was ok. A friend has tenants in his house and while he is away a... View more

What a month. I’m disabled and hubby is my carer, and the last month has been hell. My sister sold her house after her hubby passed from cancer, so we (hubby) had to help her move, that was ok. A friend has tenants in his house and while he is away at work I look after things. I get a call the day my sister is moving to say there has been a fire at the house, so my daughter and son in law helped with boarding up windows. That began the nightmare with tenants insurance company who are not doing their job at all. We feel so bad for tenant who is a single mum with 5 boys. Number three on my list, four days after sister moving and fire, my 84 year old mum broke her tibia and fibula. I’ve had to go to Perth, we live in the country, and stay with my daughter so I can visit mum. It’s so hard as hubby has to stay with our animals, so my health has taken a nose dive. I can’t shower myself nor dress myself some days, so the task has fallen to my daughter when I’m there. my sisters want to put mum in a nursing home but mum isn’t ready for that yet, so she is coming to stay with us while her leg heals. My hubby has been getting the house ready as the OT did an inspection and told us we needed to do a few things. He started on the list and he broke a rib, so life has been a massive struggle the last few days. I’m just so overwhelmed as I don’t want to let mum down and have to send her into a care facility, I don’t want to let the tenant down from the property as she was homeless for 8 months prior to my friend renting her the house, I don’t want to let my friend down because he doesn’t have anyone else to help whim with all the insurance stuff. I feel like I’m drowning some days.

Justin95 What did I do.
  • replies: 12

Why do people fake their coughs when I’m around. I’m getting anxiety when I hear people do it. It really hurts. What is wrong with me. At the moment I’m listening to people fake cough on YouTube so I can get used to it but it damages me. I feel like ... View more

Why do people fake their coughs when I’m around. I’m getting anxiety when I hear people do it. It really hurts. What is wrong with me. At the moment I’m listening to people fake cough on YouTube so I can get used to it but it damages me. I feel like I’m rejected wherever I go.

Beaser Acceptance of what is. And peoples experience of the same.
  • replies: 16

I hope im posting in the right section . I have started to accept that my anxiety and depression are not my fault and in a way its a bit of a comfort. It has cost me so much ,relationships,employement and family ties.. Im scared of where its taking m... View more

I hope im posting in the right section . I have started to accept that my anxiety and depression are not my fault and in a way its a bit of a comfort. It has cost me so much ,relationships,employement and family ties.. Im scared of where its taking me but im 56 and have fought hard for so long and yes im tired of it. Do i have to explain it to everyone who asks why im not working or functioning well? I was wondering have others found themselves at a similar stage.Love and best wishes to everyone. Brett

CMF Same feeling, different thoughts
  • replies: 7

Hi friends,My anxiety has been hanging around last few weeks. It's been awful. Something triggered me which led to ruminating & catastrophising. Round & round it goes, making up scenarios, triggered by other little things, even just a word. Once I'm ... View more

Hi friends,My anxiety has been hanging around last few weeks. It's been awful. Something triggered me which led to ruminating & catastrophising. Round & round it goes, making up scenarios, triggered by other little things, even just a word. Once I'm triggered every little thing is magnified and round it goes again from one thing to another. It's exhausting. It's not the first time & probably not the last. I've tried to practise mindfulness, gratitude, positive thoughts. I've told myself they are just thoughts. I've tried to remember how it feels when I'm not anxious, when my mind is clear. I'm trying to understand.They are just thoughts. I find this important to remember because no matter what the thought or trigger is, the feeling is the same. If I were told tomorrow I had a terminal disease, the anxious feeling would be tge same as the anxious feeling i have about other triggers. I've had anxiety for years, i know it well. I try to remind myself of this. The triggers, the reason the thought that causes my anxiety may be different but the feeling is always the same.It IS just a feeling.Cmf

anon-ivf Pregnancy announcement
  • replies: 2

Hi, my sister called me tonight to announce her surprise pregnancy. She is a midwife and tracks her cycle so to h e unprotected intercourse in her fertile window surprises me that it was a surprise. She knows I have been trying to conceive for over 1... View more

Hi, my sister called me tonight to announce her surprise pregnancy. She is a midwife and tracks her cycle so to h e unprotected intercourse in her fertile window surprises me that it was a surprise. She knows I have been trying to conceive for over 1.5 years with no luck and I have just had a hard time with IVf, she called me and my husband and put us on the spot, did a surprise announcement and recorded us. This is so bad but I was sick on the phone call but just smiled and pretended everything was okay. I cannot believe she didn’t think to call me privately, it was so insensitive, then she mentioned how hard it has been for her, which I am sure ks true, but again so so so I I sensitive. I am so disappointed in her at the way she shred this news. I have been trying so hard for so long to get pregnant and cannot believe this is how she chose to share it. I have also shared amevery detail with her and been speaking to her whilst she is pregnant.

xXCosmic_KittenXx I feel so alone.
  • replies: 1

My husband left today for a week for his job, and it's just terrible timing. He's not going on any more for the foreseeable future thankfully but it doesn't help me right now. I've been going through anxiety on and off for the last couple of months, ... View more

My husband left today for a week for his job, and it's just terrible timing. He's not going on any more for the foreseeable future thankfully but it doesn't help me right now. I've been going through anxiety on and off for the last couple of months, I've always had it to a degree because I have a disability. I trialed a new medication for my mental health for a few days months ago, and it sent my anxiety to extreme levels, nearly hospitalising me. It's still haunting me months later, and I'm scared I'm never going to get any sense of the little normalcy I had back, I don't want to experience this for the rest of my life. I either have the physical symptoms, the mental symptoms, or both. I think I've maybe had an hour or two break from myself in the last week and I'm so deeply exhausted. I'm starting CBT therapy with a psychologist on Wednesday, and someone I met has kindly offered to do some hypnosis with me for 30 minutes free of charge, but I'm mostly alone for the beginning of the week, at the hardest time, and everything just feels so hopeless. As it is if I'm feeling this anxious still by the appointment I don't know if I'll be able to leave to walk there. My husband has his own mental health issues that he's currently working through, and we're not able to hold each other up as much as we'd like, so I try to cope on my own mess when I can, and I've gone public about how much I've been struggling, and the people who seem to care the most are my online relationships with friends who either have moved, or live in other states or countries, the local people are the most distant. I'm trying to get a bigger circle but it's hard when you're messed up. I've been crying non stop today I feel like I handled it better last time he was away, which makes me feel like a failure. I've increased my medication today by request of my GP, and I just hope that it will only take a few days for things to work or me to settle, one or the other. My family is far away and I don't think they would understand. They don't have any idea of what is going on with me and it's probably for the best. His parents know, I'm not sure about his siblings but they aren't very involved in each others lives as they've gotten older, but his parents are quite old and there's not much they can do, and I don't want to put any stress on them. I couldn't hold back when his mum rang today though, and I just cried.