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BeyondBlue Hi! Check out this post if you're not sure how to start
  • replies: 0

Hi there and welcome to the Anxiety section of the Forums First of all, thank you so much for joining us here. We think it’s amazing that you’ve taken this step to getting support and learning from this Community. You are very welcome here and we are... View more

Hi there and welcome to the Anxiety section of the Forums First of all, thank you so much for joining us here. We think it’s amazing that you’ve taken this step to getting support and learning from this Community. You are very welcome here and we are really interested in what you might want to add to these conversations. We get it, having anxiety makes it hard to share in a public place. Remember, this is anonymous and the Beyond Blue team are here to help if you need it This section is for people who are experiencing anxiety in some form in their lives. This might be in social settings, at work, or just in the day to day. You don’t need a diagnosis to post here. If it feels like the right spot for your post, go right ahead! We know that feeling anxious can make it hard to reach out so we want you to know that getting this far is amazing and a great start. A few tips for getting the most out of this section: Get involved when you can! Posting and replying is the heartbeat of this community and you DO have something worthwhile to share (when you’re ready ) Every experience is different. There is no competition here. We know how challenging anxiety can be and how it comes in all shapes and sizes. What you are experiencing will be respected and supported here. Trust yourself! You are the expert in your experience. This community works because people like you share what has worked for you. Thank you for getting involved and taking a look. We can’t wait to hear from you! Beyond Blue

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Flop Does my anxiety and position in life make me undatable?
  • replies: 13

Hello everyone, This is a bit of a different post but I'm looking for opinions from people that may have been in/are in a similar position and people who share similar struggles. I often feel quite lonely and have been single for about 1-2 years. I h... View more

Hello everyone, This is a bit of a different post but I'm looking for opinions from people that may have been in/are in a similar position and people who share similar struggles. I often feel quite lonely and have been single for about 1-2 years. I have a longing for companionship and love, but I haven't even begun looking, and he's why - I'm 24 now, and feel extremely behind in life. I'm on benefits, I don't work because of anxiety, I don't have my license, tho that and my anxiety are things I'm working on. I think I'm a nice person with lots of love to give, but I feel like anyone would look at these things and not want to give me a chance. I would give someone a chance in my position, but I worry most if not all people won't feel the same. I hope to hear from some of you and hear what you think. Thank you for reading

stell_a178 I don’t have any friends
  • replies: 3

Ever since I can remember I have had a hard time making and then keeping friends. This issue worsened after leaving highschool, into both working full time and university. I have found that trying to make friends and then keeping them has been so inc... View more

Ever since I can remember I have had a hard time making and then keeping friends. This issue worsened after leaving highschool, into both working full time and university. I have found that trying to make friends and then keeping them has been so incredibly draining for me. I find it tiring having to put on a face for people, having to smile and act happy when in reality I’m exhausted and my social battery is already on -5789%. I feel broken, because on one hand I really want a friend to hang out with and chat with. But there is another part of me that doesn’t have the energy to contribute into any friendships. I also find it hard to trust people, which usually leads to me ghosting on people. When people make one single mistake I tend to run and hide because my past friends have bullied me and made me the butt of the joke. Does anyone else have a similar experience? I’d like to know if I’m alone in this feeling or not. stella (20F)

Angie_2023 Betrayed by life in Canberra
  • replies: 1

When thinking about my younger years, I felt that me and kids from school, were surrounded by the armours of protections, love, and high importance. We had an army of teachers, family to make sure that our life is saved from brutality, immorality, an... View more

When thinking about my younger years, I felt that me and kids from school, were surrounded by the armours of protections, love, and high importance. We had an army of teachers, family to make sure that our life is saved from brutality, immorality, and cruelty. The naive sense of trust, that other people intentions are innocent, and people are wishing me well and are not going to cause any harm, often betrayed me. And keeps betraying me to these days. Everything then, was forgiven by adults. The students who failed exams were given another chance, the once who were lost in the city, were always picked up and delivered home. My cognitive abilities, decency have never been questioned. I would never think that life will deceive me even further, when lured by someone promising me paradise and place in the world to elevate my poor, disadvantage existence to better standard of living and safer place to raise children. Because the grass is greener on the other side.Again, I felt betrayed, betrayed when I have been downsized to someone inferior, who needs to build herself from the scratch. And all things I was taking for granted, self-worth, my acquired education, sense of humor place in group and in society. All of these has been taken away and replaced by the baby steps crawling towards the identity, I took for granted. My new self has been replaced with increments of contexts and doubts. Wearing different ensembles, hats, and resonating reflections. I learnt that every building block, cost me lots of work, effort and there is never the point when, something has been achieved for good. That this society structure, wants me to fit into mould, formed by expectation of functional scenarios. That, the little girl in me will never be visible or heard by anyone, as there is no longer anyone interested, or wanting to know her or have laugh with her. That perhaps, to better adjust to my projections, I must forget about her. She may emerge out of closet, when you going to speak, with your old friends or with your mum. But now, the landscape if quite raw, and you must show your resilience. Show that you know how to blend in. In one of the workplaces, I heard, that I should not ask for working from home - “Look at the kids, they are like little sponges, absorbing everything, you should be like them” My all-working life behind the façade of stiff politeness, people were putting rocks on my path. I stopped even asking why, but the fairy dream of godmother of kindness, goodwill has evaporated. No one would offer to rescue me, to be more understanding of my flaws. Contrary, there was no appreciation of hard work and unfair treatments from employers and harsh judgment with loathing my credibility or rights to have a job or human voice. On the surface, all was very appropriate with assistance of lip service and empty hostile shell inside. I felt betrayed.When I go to sleep, I am in another realm. All is safe and good up there. Reality scares me.

UncertainlyMe99 Cognitive issues due to anxiety? Or just dumb?
  • replies: 13

So for the past year or two ive had really bad cognitive issues, with my memory, concentration, decision-making, everything... I work in a casual hospitality job, which I enjoy very much most of the time, however I am sometimes a little absent-minded... View more

So for the past year or two ive had really bad cognitive issues, with my memory, concentration, decision-making, everything... I work in a casual hospitality job, which I enjoy very much most of the time, however I am sometimes a little absent-minded- despite trying my hardest- and people get annoyed at me. My confidence is at an all time low, and in spite of that i still have nothing against constructive criticism, however something that upsets me immensely is when you make a mistake and another person makes you feel like an idiot for it. Although ive had a pretty good life overall- despite mental health struggles for years- there have been a few people who have this way of reacting. It was happening a lot at work, and obviously when it does it makes me make even MORE mistakes because then i get even more flustered and doubtful. But they make degrading comments or look at you like you're stupid, and i dont think its because they are being mean necessarily, but i think they do it without realizing the effect it can have on some people. I dont react anymore, as they are unwilling to look at it from another perspective, but it takes so much out of me. It seems to happen a lot with these people when there are others around. So you can imagine its embarrassing for your struggling cognition to be brought to everyone's attention like that. Im really extremely sick of myself. I hate me so much and im not suicidal but im tired of trying and never being enough. This happened again last night, and I was even having such a good day- where I was keeping myself busy, did a bit of study before work, and tried to keep a positive attitude throughout the day. I was smiling, having engaging conversations with people, and then I make a mistake where I forgot to give an order to a customer for a few minutes because I got distracted attending some tables. I came back, and he started talking loudly (almost yelling) and telling me "why didn't you do this?" "You should have given the order, whats wrong with you?" I told him im sorry and i forgot, but he kept going on and on about it, talking to me like i made the biggest mistake in the world. I went silent and later on he kept asking if i was okay... I said I was fine and continued with whatever i was doing. I dont know what the point of this was. Forgetfulness, lack of concentration, easily distracted, can't think clearly. I feel dumb and stupid. If this is just who I am, I don't want to be this anymore.

Angie_2023 Update on discrimination of ADHD in workplace
  • replies: 3

After my stigmatisation by public service as outcast with adhd, I am pushed more and more to the edge of society. Since then I had two non for profit jobs. I alway look for jobs, but they do not last long, regardless of hard effort and no issues with... View more

After my stigmatisation by public service as outcast with adhd, I am pushed more and more to the edge of society. Since then I had two non for profit jobs. I alway look for jobs, but they do not last long, regardless of hard effort and no issues with performance. I had a 2 FWC cases and one is pending claiming general protection disability discrimination. Do not understand dismissal decisions for these government jobs. When each dismissal is putting me and my daughter into spiral of poverty and violence. Giving me next job by government by goodie organisation followed by very far fetched, explanation about dismissing me, can only trigger aggression from my partner, who with unproductive, useless women is more and more incline to vent all anger and use me as punching bag. My daughter could end up homeless and living in poverty if this adhd or as they call adhd - addict witch-hunt continues.

KEIRAISHERE I don't know what to do.
  • replies: 2

Hi all, when I was 18 months I was removed from my mother and father due to child neglection and domestic abuse, I grew up with 6 brothers and I was the only girl for 10-11 years until 2 other girls were fostered. When I was 6-7 I was getting sexuall... View more

Hi all, when I was 18 months I was removed from my mother and father due to child neglection and domestic abuse, I grew up with 6 brothers and I was the only girl for 10-11 years until 2 other girls were fostered. When I was 6-7 I was getting sexually assaulted by my 2nd oldest brother. (He was technically my cousin.). As a kid I never got the talk and didn't know that it was wrong, I kept that to myself for 16 years. When I was 15, My uncle started touching me inappropriately too, And I lived with him and saw him every day.That went on longer than what my 2nd eldest brothers did. I also grew up with verbal, emotional, and physical abuse being the least favourite child, I was also the 4th eldest out of 8, so I was the middle child, I got diagnosed with ADHD when I was at least 8 which annoyed my auntie and uncle because I'd always talk and talk and talk and never be able to focus until they put me on medication to hopefully shut me up, I was always being picked on by the younger and elder siblings except for my younger sisters who I ended up protecting from being bullied since they were the youngest out of us all. When I was 16, I went to this camp and we were all talking about family problems and somehow I brought up the fact I was being sexually assaulted at home which ended up with me being removed with my sibilings from my auntie and uncle, I had to have interviews with cops and describe everything in detail on camera with a microphone thing nearby, I ended up getting nervous and stressed all the time leading me to have breakdowns and Self-harm. I don't know how to cope with all this since since I still haven't gone to court or anything like that, my breakdowns and panic attacks are getting worse and my motivation and appetite have completely disappeared. I do have 2 therapists they don't relly help, and im seeking advice to distact myself from it all. Thank you for reading all of that.

Som High Heart Rate, no identifiable trigger
  • replies: 3

Hi All, Ive read through lots of BB forums but wanted to get some experience/advise for myself. Ive had anxiety since I can remember. During my 20's I remember my panick attacks being my heart rate sky rockets for what I feel is no identifiable reaso... View more

Hi All, Ive read through lots of BB forums but wanted to get some experience/advise for myself. Ive had anxiety since I can remember. During my 20's I remember my panick attacks being my heart rate sky rockets for what I feel is no identifiable reason. Once it's up I feel like it sometimes doesn't come down for weeks, this scares me. I'm now I'm my mid 30's, the panick attacks have continued in seasons and never fully gone away, I don't think they ever will. I've gone to therapy which has helped and I'm in therapy currently but I just can't seem to get past the physical feelings I have and no matter how many times I see a GP or get tests in convinced something it wrong with my. Ive been getting headaches, dizziness that will last the whole day and lately the heart palpitations are back. Doesn't matter if I'm sitting still, standing pushing my kid on a swing, my heart rate can sky rocket at any point. I feel like I'm at a point in my life that I should be relaxed. I'm not working, don't have worries financially and have 2 healthy happy children but here I sit with these feelings that there is constantly something physically wrong with me. My partner doesn't want to hear it anymore, he thinks I'm a hypochondriac and in starting to think I am to! I have never tried medication, is that something that should directly help with these physical symptoms of anxiety? I'm scared to try medication, even herbal supplements. It just all worries me. Any advice would be great

Horrendous_Hexapod My Obsessions Have Ruined my Life
  • replies: 2

I’ve been an anxious person for pretty much my whole life. From childhood to now I’ve had a variety of bizarre, almost crippling fears and anxieties, mainly about the end of the world, religious guilt, etc. For the last few years, however, these anxi... View more

I’ve been an anxious person for pretty much my whole life. From childhood to now I’ve had a variety of bizarre, almost crippling fears and anxieties, mainly about the end of the world, religious guilt, etc. For the last few years, however, these anxieties have just gotten worse and worse, constantly stirring around in my mind in a seemingly endless cycle. I was originally just obsessed with stuff like creationism, I would constantly obsess over the things creationists would say to disprove evolution and take it upon myself to thoroughly read through it and try to debunk everything. Pretty soon, however, that shifted over to conspiracy theories, namely things like dinosaurs never existed of flat earth and the like. Looking back on it now, these theories were always completely stupid, but because I’ve always loved dinosaurs I took it personally and tried to obsessively debunk every single conspiracy blog, video, podcast, etc, dedicated to this conspiracy, and that was my main obsession between 2017 and 2021. At the start of 2020, however, I also began to delve into some unsavoury things regarding politics, generally websites and videos that spouted off terrible, hateful things directed towards women, people of colour, LGBT, and quite a few others. While most people would typically just ignore this stuff and move on with their lives, for some reason I just couldn’t do that, especially since some of the people spouting these things tried to use science or statistics to prove their points, so I forced myself to analyse as much as I can no matter how much I hated every minute of it. I don’t want to get into the “science” these people used, but it was generally highly biased, cherry picked sources which at best didn’t fully support their beliefs or were built on sketchy foundations and at worst didn’t make any sense at all regardless of how much I tried to understand it. And so much of this contradicted with other sources that I just didn’t know what to believe at times.But I just do take this any more. I’m living in a constant state of fear and anxiety that every single thought or opinion I have is wrong, with this little voice in my head constantly nagging me to look into these things or else I’m being wilfully ignorant. And it’s not just a few times a week, it’s pretty much every day. These thoughts just keep ruminating in my head, with a worrying thought appearing in my mind and me trying to use my own logic and research to combat it which just devolves into me repeating the same things over and over in my head for what’s sometimes hours. And when one thought eventually fades another just takes its place. Sometimes I don’t cave into my obsessive need to research these topics, and I’m left feeling this gnawing sense of guilt over choosing not to engage my obsessions, but whenever I do cave I just feel so drained and tired with this pit in my chest, like I’m forcing myself to stay awake for hours on end. In fact, I’ve actually stayed up well into the early morning doing this, as well as take time away from things I could be doing, like studying or my hobbies. Sometimes my obsessions even cause me to research the same things over and over again just in case I missed something potentially world shattering.I just don’t know what to do anymore. My obsessive tendencies and anxieties feel like some kind of hideous parasite that burrowed into the bask of my skull and started pumping chemicals into my brain to control me. Every time I promise myself that I’m not gonna look these things up or stop obsessing altogether, I eventually just break again and start the cycle again. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

Jay19788 Not myself anymore
  • replies: 2

Hello, over the last few years I have been hit with 1 thing after another, from my wife miscarrieing, to my son losing consciousness and unresponsive for over an hour(still don’t know what caused it) my wife’s sister smashed our house windows and sli... View more

Hello, over the last few years I have been hit with 1 thing after another, from my wife miscarrieing, to my son losing consciousness and unresponsive for over an hour(still don’t know what caused it) my wife’s sister smashed our house windows and sliced every tire on both cars, our house took 3 years to build, while we moved house 4 times while waiting. i think I have social anxiety, I don’t have any friends, I am happiest when by myself drinking and smoking.. My mum became very ill a couple of years ago , so I became her carer as well as working full time and looking after my wife and 2 kids, my boy was born with a cleft and my girl is an autistic teenager(not biologically mine) there is so much more to add to that, recently my mother passed, and now my anxiety goes through the roof.. at shopping centers I feel like a ghost , feels like everyone looks through me. it has got so bad that I can only feel pain now, I battle with myself daily to go to work, I feel like an empty shell, emotionless..my marriage is falling apart, I will lose my job soon for too much time off. but I just don’t care anymore…. why keep trying when everything I work for gets snatched away. I haven’t eaten in 2 weeks, I am lucky if I get 2 hours sleep a night.. I am developing health issues that I can’t afford to get treated.. I have spoken with counselors and my gp.. but nothing helps.. I am constantly getting lost in my own head fighting with myself… garden statues seem to move as if they are real, I constantly think someone is out to get me. Dead animals have been left on my doorstep.. I think all the drugs I used when I was younger is starting to have an effect on my brain.. I don’t know what to do…..

Aussie.Girl Still feeling stuck, idk what to do
  • replies: 4

I need some advice on where to go from here. I left my job at the end of 2023 because I was feeling overwhelmed and it was beginning to trigger RSI (particularly in my hand/wrist). I also thought that having less responsibility for a while would redu... View more

I need some advice on where to go from here. I left my job at the end of 2023 because I was feeling overwhelmed and it was beginning to trigger RSI (particularly in my hand/wrist). I also thought that having less responsibility for a while would reduce my stress but it hasn't really made much difference. I had all these plans of things I wanted to do and couldn't because work was taking so much of my time and energy, and I have barely started any of them. I think part of the problem is when people ask about what I want in life the answer is a modest house somewhere not too far from basic necessities on a couple of acres so I can have my horse at home instead of agisted elsewhere. And I don't know how I will ever be able to achieve that. Even if I were earning 100k a year it wouldn't be enough by myself to afford something like that. If I ever could, I would probably be middle-aged or even older by then and I'm not sure I'll be able to enjoy it the way I could now (at 27). And then in terms of everyone asking what kind of job I want (given I am currently unemployed) the honest answer is that ideally I don't want to work at all (no one does, do they?) but that's not possible. So the answer then becomes a job with 3-4 days a week of simple tasks with minimal pressure/deadlines and no working outside of 'work hours'. I'm not sure if that job exists though... My ex-boss has offered me "just a couple of days work" in Feb because she needs to take a couple of days off, but I'm reluctant to say 'yes' because I think I would just get dragged back into exactly what I was doing before. The couple of days would turn into, can you help on X day too, and then maybe two days the following week etc and it would be as if I never left. If I could guarantee it would only be 2-3 days I'd say yes, but I can't. And I'm aware I could say no to the additional shifts but I had a hard enough time leaving the first time due to being shy and non-confrontational. But if I'm just going to sit around doing nothing anyway maybe its better I do go back, because at least then I'm earning money. I've had a look at other jobs but none of the ones I've seen so far would be a good fit for me, so idk what to do. I really thought having some time off would mean I could reflect on myself and decide on my next career path but I just feel overwhelmed and stressed any time I think about it. I should also add that my life outside of work isn't exactly stress free and I'm actually starting to think work was less stressful... This could also influence my 'i want my own house' mentality. Renting isn't an option because I don't want someone else to be able to tell me I can't have pets or put up fences etc. My goals just seem perpetually out of reach and I can't see a way to fix that. Should I just go back to my old job until I figure it out? Any advice would be appreciated. I just feel so lost and I really have no idea what to do.