Anxiety

Are my feelings "normal"/minor?

replies: 5

Hi all, This is my first post, and to be quite honest I'm not sure what to say. I joined because I'm not sure if I have issues with anxiety or if what I feel is "normal". My sister has severe anxiety, she is medicated and seeing someone for help. I d... View more

Hi all, This is my first post, and to be quite honest I'm not sure what to say. I joined because I'm not sure if I have issues with anxiety or if what I feel is "normal". My sister has severe anxiety, she is medicated and seeing someone for help. I don't think I'm on her level but I'm struggling to manage my feelings of shame, embarrassment ect over things I do everyday. I'm always recounting conversations I've had and agonising over everything I say. I spend hours thinking of "excuses" in case people think something I've said or done is offensive (which is pointless because no one ever does). If I drink (which I very rarely do) the next day is horrific, and often I'll be a wreck for days (I pretty much avoid alcohol now as even one drink sets me off). I'm pretty functional despite all this, I work full time, go to uni part time and have a great group of friends. However, on a bad day I can convince myself they are friends with me out of habit and obligation, which is awful. I know at times they get frustrated with me although in their defence I don't really tell them about my "bad days". I don't like going out outside this group, and normally turn down invites with other people. Sometimes I get confident and go out but this always leave me in a state of feeling mortified for reasons I can't put my finger on. I spend the next week trying to "suss out" if I've upset anyone even though I know I haven't, (like I said I don't drink so I don't get where this comes from). I'm always looking for someone to say a "magical" sentence that will make me feel better but despite people's reassurance no one ever seems to say the right thing. I'm single and have been for over four years. This doesn't bother me as I much prefer to be on my own. Often I'll spend my weekends just going to the gym, studying and watching TV and that's fine by me. Im very stubborn and I'm embarrassed to admit to my friends I might need help. I've tried to manage this on my own with exercise, healthy eating and positive thoughts but I'm exhausted. I don't want to tell my family as they have enough to worry about because of my sister. Any advice would be great. Should I be getting help? Or is this minor? I came on here today because I want something to change, because I'm so tired of feeling this way. Thanks in advance.

Cause of Stress

replies: 5

1. Commonality or Individuality? How can you find what makes you different from everybody else (individuality) without first checking to see what other people have? (commonality). What is the common cause of stress? 2. Stress not caused by the events... View more

1. Commonality or Individuality? How can you find what makes you different from everybody else (individuality) without first checking to see what other people have? (commonality). What is the common cause of stress? 2. Stress not caused by the events you encounter, but by your mind's interpretation of that event. It is caused by what you think the event means. Your thoughts, opinions and beliefs about the event. What thoughts (i.e. worries) are common to people with psychological stress? 3. Society's philosophy of "If you are good, you will get" sets up the subconscious mind to believe that you need to live up to particular criteria in order to prove that you are worthy of receiving your needs for development. This sets up the following chain: Fail to achieve criteria=nothing to offer=no value=no approval= MISS OUT on requirements for development (what you need for your life to progress)= die (to the subconscious). So what is development? What do you need? Can you miss out on it? 4. There are two different models for measuring personal development. The first is the "achievement model", where they say "measure yourself by your achievements". In this model, people gauge their development and self-worth by the level of control they have over life. The more accurate model is the "wisdom model", where it is understood that all events you encounter provide growth in understanding the reality of what is occurring in life. We can't miss out out our development. All events are food for thought, whether they go the way you want them to or not. This does not mean you stop having goals, but rather do not measure your life by whether you achieve them. 5. The concept of "Free Will" is incorrect. (defined as "that person had free will and could have simply have chosen to have acted differently at that moment regardless of their beliefs. They are not being governed.) Can you choose what you believe? (Think of something you do not currently believe. Try "the earth is flat". Now choose to believe it. Can you?) Can you choose how you act? (Think of something you would not do no matter what. Now choose to do that action. Can you?). "I do not want to do that acton" is not a valid response, as we are not talking about whether or not you can follow my demands, but whether you can use your power of choice to do something, when your beliefs (your wants) are governing you and preventing you from doing the action. Can you choose to do that action you do not want to do?

Episode 1. The one with the awkward first post

replies: 2

This is my first time talking about my experiences with anxiety and depression and hopefully this won't be the last time and is a positive experience. Just over a year ago I was 28 and burnt out from my demanding job. At the height of that, my girlfr... View more

This is my first time talking about my experiences with anxiety and depression and hopefully this won't be the last time and is a positive experience. Just over a year ago I was 28 and burnt out from my demanding job. At the height of that, my girlfriend of 8 years chose to end our relationship and moved out and moved states and cut off all communication. Needless to say it completely destroyed me and I have never experienced such heartache in my life and a time when I’ve questioned everything in my life. I wasn’t good at reaching out to friends to talk about what I was going through and they were oblivious to what was going on. The effects of the breakup impacted my work life and the stress I caused myself worry about the breakup and work caused me to get extremely unwell. I proceeded to feel extremely unwell for months and experienced a ridiculous range of symptoms that my DR told me were physical manifestations of stress and depression. This caused even more stress as I became more depressed and anxious that I wasn’t getting any better and was struggling with motivation and energy at work. My latest DR in a long line of DRs tells me that the prolonged period where my body was producing extremely high levels of cortisol has weakened my immune system. I’ve been told that it should improve in time, but constantly getting sick and feeling like I always have the flu, tired, and having aching joints constantly makes it hard to stay positive and I catastrophize any little thing that is wrong with my health to the point I’ve developed severe anxiety surrounding fear of getting sick so much that I make myself sick from stressing about it worrying that there some underlying condition that DRs aren't picking up. The more I've started to speak with friends about anxiety and depression i've found that they have dealt with it as well which is sad as we could have been supporting each other through our troubles. Hoping to read other people sharing similar issues and give support. Thanks for your time.

Anxiety related neck and shoulder tension

replies: 5

Just wondering if anyone else gets anxiety related tension in back of the neck and shoulder. I live by myself so getting a massage at home is not an option. I also do not wish to pay for a massage. I would like you to offer some suggestions as to how... View more

Just wondering if anyone else gets anxiety related tension in back of the neck and shoulder. I live by myself so getting a massage at home is not an option. I also do not wish to pay for a massage. I would like you to offer some suggestions as to how to ease the tension whilst I'm at work. Something i may consider doing is to take a 5 minute break and practice a yoga pose called child pose which does seem to help when I'm at home.

New to anxiety

replies: 8

Ive recently been dealing with some anxiety issues of late, the reasons for worry have gone but im still worried all the time. Ive spoken to a counsiler over the phone in my moments of panic, 3 times in three days. They help emmensly but i still worr... View more

Ive recently been dealing with some anxiety issues of late, the reasons for worry have gone but im still worried all the time. Ive spoken to a counsiler over the phone in my moments of panic, 3 times in three days. They help emmensly but i still worry when i hang the phone up it all comes flooding back. I try to do the exercises they give me but they only work very briefly. I wanted to call my counsiler service again tonight but i feel im taking advantage of there emergency service. Im really worried that this will never go away ive never felt like this before in my life. Any advice from anyone would be greatly appreciated.

Sleepless

replies: 3

I had a major anxiety attack last weekend. Cried for 3 days. Got some respite at my parents place but I'm sleepless. It's only been 2 nights with no sleep but I feel like a zombie. Tried sedatives but they aren't working. I can't sit still. Body is e... View more

I had a major anxiety attack last weekend. Cried for 3 days. Got some respite at my parents place but I'm sleepless. It's only been 2 nights with no sleep but I feel like a zombie. Tried sedatives but they aren't working. I can't sit still. Body is exhausted, mind is in another dimension of space and time. Tried meditation - distracted, tried other distraction like cleaning, reading, watching a movie, went for a walk. Tried laying on the bed and hoping for a sleep. Nothing. I look like crud, I feel cruddier. Tips, tricks, anything???

intrusive thoughts and severe anxiety

replies: 11

Hi there I'm new to this forum. So I'm having a terrible time with panic and anxiety and also depression now.. If I'm not anxious then all i want to do is cry. A few years back I suffered sever anxiety and panic attacks and my partner had to force me... View more

Hi there I'm new to this forum. So I'm having a terrible time with panic and anxiety and also depression now.. If I'm not anxious then all i want to do is cry. A few years back I suffered sever anxiety and panic attacks and my partner had to force me to eat and look after my children because I was just not coping. I don't really know how the panic attack started but over time it started to get more frequent and if I wasn't having an attack it was constant anxiety. One day I don't know how or when or why it started.. I started having what I was told intrusive thoughts.. I started avoiding things and all I seemed to do was go over and over in my head and try to convince myself otherwise. So anyway I managed after a long dark road to get better and those thoughts came less and less. . so about 4 weeks ago it all started again talking about someone else's struggles and also watching a documentary on something scared me and bought on a massive panic attack. Since that day the intrusive thoughts have come back and I am now questioning everything! I have had a lot of stress over the past year and half but surprisingly I haven't dealt with much anxiety and no intrusive thoughts. I've been really strong and felt great back to my normal body weight after losing so much weight due to stress. .I felt like an anti anxiety medication has worked wonders... but now it has all come back and I'm terrified... I don't have my partner home and I am on my own with kids.. I've been to get a mental health plan and have contacted a psychologist.. This has also freaked me out as I'm having doubts seeing him because he records all of his appointments... that has made me even more scared. So basically right now I'm living and breathing anxiety and intrusive thoughts and i can't seem to escape.. I don't want to do normal things like cook or clean and I just want to escape to my parents all the time because I'm terrified being alone. I have even turned to anxiety medication over the past week because I can't seem to kick it. The doctor has put my meds up but I'm only a few days in and they still have to go up in a few more days. Please help what if they aren't intrusive thoughts what if there is really something wrong with me it just makes me wanna die. But I don't want to die because I love my kids and family I just don't wanna feel like this anymore. I'm asking myself if they have come back then does that mean I am what my thoughts are.

Excitement, adrenalin, anxiety, fear who mixes them up?

replies: 6

As a boy I had a family that was always 'nervous'. We used that word to cover most feelings of tension or anything really that involved something that took us away from the rare (for us) feeling of being relaxed. In fact I was never relaxed, I was “b... View more

As a boy I had a family that was always 'nervous'. We used that word to cover most feelings of tension or anything really that involved something that took us away from the rare (for us) feeling of being relaxed. In fact I was never relaxed, I was “bored”. As I grew older in my twenties I used to describe myself to others as a nervous character. That word nervous never left my self description until I was in my 40’s. I’m now 60yo. In the last 15 years I’ve realised I needed to divide up my nervous world into categories of the other feelings- to correct the error of everything being under the nervous umbrella. Buying a new car in my twenties and I’d mistake my excitement for nerves. You get the picture. This is likely the programming from my family. So I’m wondering how many people out there, members like you, have described anxiety for something else? I’m wondering, if some of us are labelling anxiety when it could be worry or excess concern or excitement maybe but if it isn’t anxiety then what could it be?. Mental health professionals of course are the ones for a correct diagnosis. I’m concerned here for the readers that haven’t had a diagnosis and are curious. Or those that have had diagnosis and if they think its anxiety and some of it isnt so, it might be worth conveying this to your therapist. Could you be feeling something other than bad nerves or anxiety. For me there is only a fine line between all of these feelings but that just could be me and my upbringing. Can you separate them? Do you get them mixed up? Or is there a definite line between all of these feelings in your opinion? Tony WK

Fear of Flying

replies: 1

I have had depression and anxiety for 45 years and I have managed with medication and my husband's help. HELP ME TO FLY AGAIN PLEASE I couldn't get out of bed to go to the airport for a trip to visit family in Singapore. I had a massive fear of being... View more

I have had depression and anxiety for 45 years and I have managed with medication and my husband's help. HELP ME TO FLY AGAIN PLEASE I couldn't get out of bed to go to the airport for a trip to visit family in Singapore. I had a massive fear of being trapped at the airport as you go through the customs etc. We had to forfeit airfares and accommodation. i have flown a lot and loved it and loved new places, food and cultures. i can't believe what I have done and I am sensitive and sad. i have increased my medication, joined an anxiety support group and see a counsellor. Can anyone please help me to get back on a plane again. I have a lot more to see in this world. Also I have been really brave and told family and close friends I have depression and anxiety for the first time ever. I have had many different reactions. One friend now has told everyone at work. I considered our conversation to be confidential not gossip. I feel angry and sad.

Stuggling with anxiety

replies: 2

My anxiety symptoms get so bad even when Im on medication and I can't change the way I think and feel i have been getting some help but how can I get a grip on it when I'm at home or stuck in my thoughts ? Suggestions help ?

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