When does it get better!

[Bluey_moon]

I'm so impatient for things just to be "fixed". 

For those that have ready post previously would know part of my anxiety and obbsessive thinking was thinking I had scizophrenia. I have been assessed multiple times and told I don't have it. and I do believe them. 

But I have a hard time believing anxiety could cause what it does, for me thinking I hear things because I became so on alert about "hearing voices". And while I beleive that anxiety causes all this, it's hard some days not to fall into the old thinking habits. 

[Bluey_moon]

Gosh everyone, I'm really sorry to winge. I know there is people on here going through a whole lot more than me! 

To help with my anxiety lately I've thrown myself into being the bestest mum, wife and friend I can. Because to me that's the important stuff. 

[Dwwmills]

Hi Skye.

As you know I suffered from GAD for at least 40 years before I was convinced to tackle it as anxiety. Before that it was just a series of things that I worried about that didn’t seem connected. I would spend my time tackling these individual things but not necessarily realising it was the underlying anxiety that was the problem. I may be just a bit slow but it did take me a long time to work it out even though I was told this by my psychologist. I just thought this was normal everyday life stuff. Looking back though anxiety is just an amazing condition to deal with. I always felt uneasy and hyper- alert. Even when there was nothing much to worry about I would still feel uneasy and be looking for the next thing I’d have to deal with. I thought this was how everybody dealt with life. If you were not alert then something would happen that you would have to deal with or would happen because you didn’t foresee it coming and control it.

It wasn’t until my family basically held an intervention at the psychologists and told me how my anxiety was affecting them that I had to admit that anxiety was the problem. Even then I was sceptical but committed to tackling the anxiety anyway. Looking back now they were right. Hindsight is a great thing. It was very hard to admit to myself that the way I was thinking and dealing with the world was flawed. It’s a little bit like having the foundations you’re standing on pulled out from under you and trusting that whatever you land on next will support you.

The other thing was I bucked up enough courage to trust that no matter how long it took I was going to find a solution and I was not going to have anxiety as a major part of my life from there on. This was the belief I hung onto that got me through the first unsettling couple of months of change. Tackling my problems from there on as anxiety based and not being side-tracked by the particular problem also helped. It allowed me to keep tackling anxiety which inevitably solved the particular worry or problem I had at the time anyway.

CBT worked for me and I still use it now. I had to use CBT very intensely to start with the assistance of some medication. Now CBT alone and works but I don’t use it as intensely as before. Life is much easier now and I don’t get tripped up as often by anxiety.

I hope this helps.

Dean

[Dwwmills]

Hi Skye.

 

I just had a quick reread of your post and had another
thought.

 

I don’t know that things are ever “fixed” but they do get
much much better.

 

Recognising triggers and symptoms of your anxiety can also
help. Maybe when you think you’re hearing voices you could look at this as indicator
that your anxiety is high at that particular point. You could then do whatever
you find helps your anxiety instead of focusing on the voices.

 

Cheers

Dean

[Legion]

Things never really "get better" They just become "managed better"

[Bluey_moon]

Thank you Dean and Legion for your answers. 

Dean what you have said makes perfect sense. Some days I am able to tackle my anxiety, today I feel like I cant. Everytime I feel I'm getting on top of it, it seems my anxiety throws up something to make me feel otherwise. 

At the moment I feel like I can't do it at all. 

[Moonstruck]

.....Dwwmill....I've never seen it put that way before...that resonates so closely to what I feel....."hyper-alert, uneasy, looking for the next thing"...that's ME......it's good to see someone else can express it whereas I couldn't quite put my finger on it!...

...Not so much sitting worrying about everything all the time, but sort of "looking over my shoulder"....whatever I am doing , I get anxious I should be doing something else, who wants something from me next?.....what time should I go to the city, bank, post office etc?  If I go at such and such a time...perhaps that will be too late for the next thing.....or maybe I should go tomorrow.??

Should I do this task now...or later? Maybe someone would prefer me to do it a different way....maybe, maybe,...what if I make the wrong decision, what if my neighbours are disturbed by it, what if someone is trying to phone me, what if, what if, what if????

How do I stop all this Dean?   It's awful....it only seems to stop after night falls, it's late, and no one is going to be affected by any wrong thing I do or say...I can breathe out and relax then...I am safe!  Whew!  What a way to live!

[Guest_1055]

Dear Skye....

I think you are right about trying to be the best wife, mumma and friend. I sometimes wonder when we focus on being this, than our eyes turn off ourselves. Somehow ??. And our hearts and eyes are focused on others. I am talking to myself here now, as well as you.

 Anyway I am not even sure about all this as yet.

And Skye, I have read a post you had written to me, maybe it was a couple of days ago that you wrote it. But you really did seem so much more calmer within yourself. It came through in your words.  So please feel encouraged you must be doing something right. 

Take care now, precious Skye

Many hugs

Shell xx

[Bluey_moon]

Thank you everyone for your support! 

Moon (is it ok if I call you that?), Dean is very wise and generous with his advice. 

Dean, I just wrote a letter to my psych at the base hospital, I really trust her. I wrote down how I was feeling and used my CBT to challenge my beliefs and ideas, and incorporated what she and my psycologist had explained to me about my anxiety. 

I emailed it off to her, but I feel much calmer now, having used the CBT so thank you. Thank you for believing in me and the fact it is only the anxiety I have. 

Shell I have no words, you my sweet friend are amazing! 

[Dwwmills]

Hi Skye.

Some days tackling anxiety is just more than you can deal with. Don’t beat yourself up. It just happens especially if you’re tired. Generally though I found I got something out of my really bad days. I used to try and think back about what triggered it, what thoughts were going through my head and if anything at all made it better during the day. Even if I couldn’t make use of any disinformation on the day it would give me insight into what I might be able to do to tackle things. I try to tell myself to my bad days with the days I made the most progress from.

Be kind to yourself no one is up to tackling it every day.

Cheers

Dean