Young people

Restrictive parents

replies: 3

I'm currently 18 years old and I feel like my parents grip on me hasn't loosed since I was 12. They don't let me leave the house and go out with friends, my dad won't even let me get a job because that would mean 1) I'd be out of the house and 2) Mak... View more

I'm currently 18 years old and I feel like my parents grip on me hasn't loosed since I was 12. They don't let me leave the house and go out with friends, my dad won't even let me get a job because that would mean 1) I'd be out of the house and 2) Making my own money means gaining financial independence, which he doesn't want. Even if I do manage to convince them to let me go out, they insist on dropping me off and picking me up, and will text/call me the whole time I'm there. During high school I was never even allowed to catch public transport to school. In terms of my social anxiety, this whole situation just worsens it because whenever my friends make plans or I'm invited to attend some social event I have to turn it down, which then just leaves me feeling isolated and keeps me from meeting new people. So in high school I gained a reputation for being anti-social and a 'loner', basically. I'm starting uni this year which means the only way for me to maintain friendships is to make plans with people (since I can't be around them 5 days a week). My friends are starting to invite me out clubbing and I really want to go but it's too far a reach to even consider my parents allowing me to. I'm jealous of people my age who have more control over their own lives. I'd like to move out but if I can't even step out the door then moving out is completely out of the question + I don't think I could handle it financially. I don't really know what my question is here but I guess I just needed a place to vent because I feel frustrated and outcast at times. Hope it didn't come across as too angsty.

Feeling kind of alone and depressed.

replies: 8

Hi everyone, I'm Luchia and I actually have paid a few visits to this site before. Right now I'm 24 years old and most days I feel quite down, and as if I'm not up to par with everyone else. So a bit of background info, I used to be my mother's carer... View more

Hi everyone, I'm Luchia and I actually have paid a few visits to this site before. Right now I'm 24 years old and most days I feel quite down, and as if I'm not up to par with everyone else. So a bit of background info, I used to be my mother's carer from the age of 17 to 23, she actually had her leg amputated and has a muscle disorder. In between that space of time I also worked (retail, cleaner, nanny) and studied, I re-completed my year 12 and completed two education assistant courses which have landed me in the jobs I am in now, a special needs education assistant and also a childcare assistant. Working as an education assistant has made me realize how passionate I am about education and also reignited my passion for learning. I decided to apply for university when I was 22 and I had two choices, either a bachelor of Primary Education (four years), or a double major of Japanese and Asian Studies (three years). Ever since I was younger I've adored the Japanese culture and language and I pick up the language quite easily, the lowest so far that I've scored in a test is 92%. Once I complete this degree I would also like to complete a diploma or masters of Education, thus I would be studying for four years anyway, or five depending on which university I attend for my postgraduate degree. I would love to be able to teach in Japan and there seem to be quite a lot of opportunities to teach English there. One of my lecturers actually has done what I plan to do, studying the language first and then education, so I've felt pretty good about my chosen pathway. However it's also quite a lonely pathway, most of my peers actually seem to be younger or much older than myself. There isn't much time for socializing during semester, but it would be nice to talk to someone outside of class occasionally. I used to go to a church and made some friends there, however two of the girls there became quite pushy with enforcing their beliefs on me, which has made it quite awkward to attend the youth catch-ups. Last year I actually met my now boyfriend though and I thought things were looking up on the social side of life, but since I've gotten to known him more, I've actually found myself becoming less attracted to him, which is weird because I made the first move and I was so happy when I was first talking to him. My parents are saying give it more time, but I kind of see myself ending it. So...yes I'm feeling really alone and I don't see and end in sight to this.

Feeling alone because you have no one

replies: 2

Hi this is Zoe I feel alone my family just uses me so I can help my sick dad and my sister who has bpd and they don't seem to notice that I'm going through hell because I have no friends that I can hang out with or talk to I was sexualy assaulted whe... View more

Hi this is Zoe I feel alone my family just uses me so I can help my sick dad and my sister who has bpd and they don't seem to notice that I'm going through hell because I have no friends that I can hang out with or talk to I was sexualy assaulted when I was 15 and all the support I got was from friends at school and support staff my family didn't care and just ignored it

How to get over social anxiety & fear of entering the workforce???

replies: 6

Hi everyone! So I am a recent uni graduate and currently finding a full time job to get off welfare payments (I am over going to job provider appointments!). I am currently working remotely in my field of study, the pay is very small and because I am... View more

Hi everyone! So I am a recent uni graduate and currently finding a full time job to get off welfare payments (I am over going to job provider appointments!). I am currently working remotely in my field of study, the pay is very small and because I am at home most of the time, not interacting with others etc, it is not something I want to be stuck in for the long term because it'll make my social anxiety worse! I've been socially anxious since I was in primary school but I did make heaps of friends over the years, we all just drifted apart after high school ended. While I love to be out in public places like shopping centres and restaurants etc. what triggers my SA the most is being the centre of attention, talking to people in authority, presentations, having a conversation with some strangers, being watched and getting to know new people. Around 2015 during my 3rd year of uni, my social anxiety became worse when I went to my first real job interview. I was so nervous I said the most stupidest things and wasn't surprised when I didn't get the job. The interview pretty much killed my self esteem. I've never had a casual job because I was too scared to work - I was afraid I wouldn't be able to complete tasks properly, interacting with customers etc. and I regret wasting my younger years away because everyone I knew had at least one job during high school years Now that I've graduated, my family members are always asking if I have a job and my mum is probably disappointed in me for not having a job yet and its making me feel worthless! Right now I cannot find any suitable positions because they all need years of experience (I so far have 9 months experience) and when I do find something, I put off submitting my resume because I don't want to be called to an interview because I hate them! I do want to work, I just feel like if I do get something, I'll stuff up and probably be laid off. My field of study requires a lot of communication, liaising, meetings - I don't know why I decided to major in it. I was interested in it but my anxiety makes me wonder if I am capable of pursuing this career or if I should go another direction. I HATE living with social anxiety!

Family Breakdown

replies: 2

I have a close family member that has been caught cheating online with a fake account, although the family member is hell bent on believing this account is real, they are willing to throw our family away to be with is "person", I am conflicted as the... View more

I have a close family member that has been caught cheating online with a fake account, although the family member is hell bent on believing this account is real, they are willing to throw our family away to be with is "person", I am conflicted as the rest of my family are acting as if they hate the family member involved but I still love this family member as they have been a significant person in my life so now I am the only person in my family who is attempting to help them see this account for wha† it really is and i'm only 17 and it is hard to deal with this and my final year of high school. Help!

Lapses...every now and then...advice?

replies: 4

Hi guys, It's been a while since my last post (which ironically was about setback) but here we are again venting my last lapse. So its been I think 3-4 months since I had a memorable setback (nearly ruined my GF's anniversary with a panic attack). Si... View more

Hi guys, It's been a while since my last post (which ironically was about setback) but here we are again venting my last lapse. So its been I think 3-4 months since I had a memorable setback (nearly ruined my GF's anniversary with a panic attack). Since then things have actually been great. Survived my end of year exams at University, went through the festive season with somewhat ease and January has truly been the best month for me. I can really see and FEEL (if that makes sense) myself gradually getting stronger, relaxing a lot more and handling stressful situations better. But this week hasn't been the best...It started a week ago with a few new intrusive thoughts and worries dwindling around (one of them involving a sensitive conversation I had with a friend about 2 YEARS ago) and then some more worry and then some more worry (same old same old). Today was a bit tougher than others as I had work and struggled a bit, but I go through it (phew!). But what's bothering me most is that I'm going to see some friends tomorrow night and have my GF's birthday on the Sunday and am totally packing it about being confident, relaxed and having a good time. I know that these lapses are not only normal but important for recovery (especially if I face and manage them) but I just hate having to ruin a good couple of days/weeks with these up and down moods. Just reaching out for some advice or past experiences on how to manage setbacks/lapses and cope with them during stressful times so I can maybe finish of this grey week with a silver lining. Kindest of regards, Muddllleee

Anyone else struggle with excursions?

replies: 2

I had a compulsory school excursion today and I knew it was going to be silly, so I didn't go. I hate it how they make you 'work in groups' and it's obvious I have no friends and nobody wants to work with me. I hate it how they don't give us enough i... View more

I had a compulsory school excursion today and I knew it was going to be silly, so I didn't go. I hate it how they make you 'work in groups' and it's obvious I have no friends and nobody wants to work with me. I hate it how they don't give us enough information and I don't know where the toilet or the exit is and it's just so scary and overwhelming, My Dad wrote me a note saying I couldn't go because I had a dentist appointment but the principal called my Mum asking why I didn't go. My Mum's really mad at me for lying and the principal is going to tell me off tomorrow and I know I'm going to break down and cry when she yells at me. I'm so scared. I just keep ripping out my hair in big clumps and I wish I didn't have to lie about not going. I'm a good student, I always do my work 100%, but just because I don't go I'm considered a troublemaker. Anybody else struggle with this?

Finally letting go of a dead friendship

replies: 1

I am 22 and during Grade 8 I made friends with this girl Thea* who was new at my school. Really what prompted this was that my friend had grown close to this new girl and her friend Anna* (also new) and so I started spending time with these girls dai... View more

I am 22 and during Grade 8 I made friends with this girl Thea* who was new at my school. Really what prompted this was that my friend had grown close to this new girl and her friend Anna* (also new) and so I started spending time with these girls daily. After several years, Thea*, Anna* and I were really close and slowly our circle of friends included some other people. By Year 10, Thea was spending weekends at my house regularly or out as a group, so I felt really secure in our friendship. I felt like I could really trust her, which for a kid who was being emotionally abused and dealing with abandonment at home was so defining for me. In senior school, my family situation got worse, so I was more anxious and more emotional. I could feel her beginning to distance herself from me; but being desperate for support, I didn't know what to do. Anna and I were still friends, though not as close, but with the introduction of the new girl Danielle*, Thea basically began ignoring us completely. My child-like response was to tell her that she no longer had to be friends with me, if she didn't want to be. Which only lead to her disliking me more. I would come to school and see Danielle and Thea openly talking about me unaware I was present. I would be told by my other friends how they would interrupt prefect meetings to discuss me. They even told my teacher I was being controlling and her intervene and hold a meeting. By the end of school, I assumed we would go a separate ways, we got into the same university and after a year our friendship was well and truly dead. The difficult part now is that it still plagues me. I know it's over and while that saddens me I can accept that, but it was the abandonment it left me with and the scars of being manipulated and bullied so badly. I've spent a long time asking, "Why? What did I do as your friend for five years to be basically pushed aside for someone new?" I have blamed myself as she still happily sees Danielle but not any of the people she was closed to. I don't have to see her anymore, except for the annual class catch-up dinners I hold. But I am still finding it hard to move on from because it impacted me deeply. It lead to me questioning people's intention a lot more and whether they genuinely want to be my friends, as silly as it sounds. I just want to be able to face her confidently and not feel like less. I am really hoping this doesn't sound ridiculous. Thank you. * names changed for security reasons.

Difficulty connecting and generating fulfilling friendships

replies: 3

Has anyone here ever felt like they are normal, and yet always found it difficult to fit into most social groups, and/or really connect with their peers of a similar age. For me, this has been an issue for as long as I can remember. After spending ye... View more

Has anyone here ever felt like they are normal, and yet always found it difficult to fit into most social groups, and/or really connect with their peers of a similar age. For me, this has been an issue for as long as I can remember. After spending years going around in circles feeling dissatisfied in trying to understand the problem, and find a solution, I have finally turned to this forum. To give a brief description of myself, I am a 20 year old male who studies Law at university and works as a barista. I'd describe myself as the quieter type (but definitely not afraid to contribute to conversation and give my opinion), driven, a bit serious, but also genuine and caring of others. When I say I don't feel like I connect, it just seems like I'm not really seen as the kind of person people really want much to do with. When it comes to people my age, I can see one reason is because my outlook is different. I've never been one to really go out partying and get drunk, hoon around or really do anything that I would consider to be irresponsible. Maybe it's a sign that maybe I've matured at a faster rate. But that issue aside, it does not cover everyone. When it comes to the friends I do make, they seem to falter in one of three ways. 1. A uni or work friend where the friendship is isolated to that environment and can't go any deeper - superficial 2. A friend who does seem a bit closer, but is always introverted and lacks any real social skills to be fun to hang out with 3. A 'friend' who just loses interest or ends up backstabbing I don't really know how well I'm getting my point across or in really communicating how I'm feeling. The truth is I've just always felt isolated, unwanted and frustrated. I don't have an A+ amazing personality that draws people in, maybe I'm just boring. I'll try to not try too hard, but at the same time I yearn to connect and have friendships where it's equal, instead of me giving and never getting anything back.

Loving Someone With Depression

replies: 3

Okay so to be 100% clear, I just want to start with the fact that I know my boyfriend has depression and some other mental issues, as he has seen many psychologist and psychiatrists over the past three years who have all confirmed his mental state. S... View more

Okay so to be 100% clear, I just want to start with the fact that I know my boyfriend has depression and some other mental issues, as he has seen many psychologist and psychiatrists over the past three years who have all confirmed his mental state. So this isn't just him being sad or moody some of the time - he really has depression. It gets hard sometimes. He can get very, very moody, and it used to affect me in a really negative way. I stopped caring about a lot of things, such as my grades and my friendship group. I lost interest in nearly everything I had once thoroughly enjoyed. Once the relationship ended for the first time, my parents had said they believed it was his impression that had made me become the mess I was. And I suppose I believed them. But now we are back together, and I constantly find myself worrying. He's so moody, and so hard to read, I keep trying to tell myself that I have done nothing wrong (when I truly haven't), and that it is just his depression making him this way. But these moods also make me reconsider our relationship, and whether I'm making him happy. He says all the time I am, but I still worry. Someone please help!

Pinned discussions

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

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All discussions

Restrictive parents

replies: 3

Feeling kind of alone and depressed.

replies: 8

Feeling alone because you have no one

replies: 2

How to get over social anxiety & fear of entering the workforce???

replies: 6

Family Breakdown

replies: 2

Lapses...every now and then...advice?

replies: 4

Anyone else struggle with excursions?

replies: 2

Finally letting go of a dead friendship

replies: 1

Difficulty connecting and generating fulfilling friendships

replies: 3

Loving Someone With Depression

replies: 3

Young people

New to this Forum? Please read this first! replies: 0

Restrictive parents replies: 3

Feeling kind of alone and depressed. replies: 8

Feeling alone because you have no one replies: 2

How to get over social anxiety & fear of entering the workforce??? replies: 6

Family Breakdown replies: 2

Lapses...every now and then...advice? replies: 4

Anyone else struggle with excursions? replies: 2

Finally letting go of a dead friendship replies: 1

Difficulty connecting and generating fulfilling friendships replies: 3

Loving Someone With Depression replies: 3

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

replies: 0

Restrictive parents

replies: 3

Feeling kind of alone and depressed.

replies: 8

Feeling alone because you have no one

replies: 2

How to get over social anxiety & fear of entering the workforce???

replies: 6

Family Breakdown

replies: 2

Lapses...every now and then...advice?

replies: 4

Anyone else struggle with excursions?

replies: 2

Finally letting go of a dead friendship

replies: 1

Difficulty connecting and generating fulfilling friendships

replies: 3

Loving Someone With Depression

replies: 3