Welcome and Orientation

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Meet your community champions!

replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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Finish waiting until the other person is talking

replies: 1

It really annoys me when I'm talking on the phone and people just talk over top of me and especially really loudly it's so rude and it feels like I'm just having a one sided conversation... especially when it's like an organisation as well or somewhere where they need to provide good service or customer service. Even when I've gone into places like centrelink some even psychologists. Makes you genuinely wonder how people have jobs honestly so so so rude.

Hi, this is me..

replies: 1

hi all, Nice to meet you. I'm male in my 40's. was sexually abused by two women when I was a very young kid. I am what people would call a "high achiever" but all I have been that just trying for years is to keep my brain so busy. I have been using alcohol since I can remember to numb my brain, I have zero social skills, I can't talk to women because I am scared, not just because I was sexually abused by two female but because my mother was way too strict with me. I am married with an amazing family, three kids that are my whole life. nearly 7 years on therapy, by I really need someone to talk to.

Hi all

replies: 2

Hi allThis past year has been rough with severe hormonal fluctuations that can cause me to go from great to severely distressed and even not wanting to keep living like this. 38yo, single parent. I enjoy gardening, creating gardens, reading a book in... View more

I don't know how to help myself.

replies: 4

Background: 21yo male, international uni student. Life has been at its worst for the last couple of months, academic failure, friendship issues, loneliness, fatigue, sadness, stress are tearing me apart. I constantly live in a state of guilt, because I feel like i havent achieved what my family expect academically. I have been focusing on now rather than looking back, but those thoughts catch up when I have nothing to focus on, getting to sleep is difficult, having a rest is near impossible. Friendship - i have never really learnt how to make friends since primary school, survived through college but it seems to be catching up in uni, only made a few true friends throughout life, yet they are far away being also international students. I can't get into conversations with people, and even if I did they are short, hardly extending into a friendship level. Now that friendship issues come into play I feel like I am f-ed up in uni. I haven't been able to feel as interested in life as I was, things that I loved does not interest me anymore, or rather I cannot concentrate in things I love. I have been just lying in bed, doing nothing. I get teary all the times. I don't see any vision in future, uncertainty is killing me.

Compassion Fatigue & Carer Burnout

replies: 1

Good evening everyone, I don't know where to post and I don't know what to expect. I am a mother of 9 children. 6 older children who are gainfully employed and moving on with their lives. However I then have; 1 child who is 34 suffered an ABI after being struck by a motor vehicle when he was 21, then having a stroke 12 months later. Despite making an amazing recovery, he now runs his own business however I do have to provide a lot of support to him still in terms of managing finances and ensuring his legal obligations (BAS, TAX returns, Worksafe, etc) and all paid for and submitted on time. I also have a 19 year old with ASD and anxiety, who has just completed year 12 And a 17 year old daughter who has ASD, ID, Non verbal, ABI & non verbal. Almost 2 years ago she had a meltdown and banged her head so badly that she caused bleeding to the brain. She also had severe behaviours of concern in that there is not a week that goes by where I am not suffering from bruises, sprains, broken bones, black eyes, concussions. I thought I was coping until my daughters phycologist wrote a report in which he outlined that I am suffering from compassion fatigue and carers burnout - now I can't stop crying. He quite possibly is right - I do feel down in the dumps, boredom/stress eat, smoke to much at times, break down crying as I just can't seem to make my daughter happy - I can't fix her anxiety, fears. Her behaviours then lead to my son becoming dysregulated. But I put on the happy face because I feel like I am failing inside, and there is no way I am telling my other kids how I really feel. They recently lost their dad and I have been trying to help them through it. I don't know why I am writing all this, maybe because it is easier to reach out to strangers who won't judge.....

I need help for my adult son

replies: 1

Hi, I need help for my adult son who has become withdrawn. He sleeps all day and stays up all night. Her is also taking so much time off from his job. I have tried to have discussions with him but he keeps saying that he is alright. I have spoken to him about going to the doctor and getting a mental health assessment and he said he would but doesn’t follow through. His mother passed away last October after an 18 month battle with cancer and he has not shown much emotion since then. Please help me help him

Parenting/Step-Parenting

replies: 7

I'm a 34yr old mum of 3 kids, 2 older kids from previous marriage and a new little one with my current partner. My marriage was a complete shamble. He ended up being a horrible man who played video games and ignored me so after 7 years I finally walked away (our kids were 3yrs & 18months) at the time. I knew becoming a single mum with 2 little ones was going to be hard but it was the right decision. I raised my kids and in 2018 I met a guy who had a failed marriage also but no kids and we really hit it off, 4 years on and we have a 1yr old together but we are falling apart, unfortunately it all comes down to the way he 'step-parents' my older children. I am not overly strict at all - I have moments but I love watching kids just be kids and work out all the other stuff eventually. I find he constantly finds something wrong, it's becoming draining and mentally exhausting for me to watch. I try talking to him and explaining I don't want him to always focus on discipline and just relax,enjoy life/moments a bit more but nothing changes and now it's gotten to the point that his relationship with both children is dropping and his attitude is 'he tries but there's no point'. They are getting older now & just fight back most of the time which leads to fight after fight and im sick of being around it and/or in the middle of it. I'm frustrated because I love this man, more than I have loved anyone. he is a wonderful man, he works hard, he helps around the house & he just adores his little boy and gets involved with him with everything he can! It'll break my heart if one day I'll have to choose between my kids & my partner because I know I'll have to choose my kids but it hurts because my ex husband showed me what NOT to look for in a partner whereas he has such amazing qualities and that's hard to come by these days. I've tried many things.. I've tried letting him be the disciplinarian and me trying to 'follow his lead' as other forums have suggested but that just doesn't work, I get too emotional when I don't like the way he parents. I've tried letting him take a step back from being the step dad but that hurts me and makes me think what's the point if he won't be a consistent step parent - I don't believe you can go from 100% involved to 0% involved and that be okay. I'm at the end, I feel depressed and shit most days and when I hear an argument starting (daily) I feel like I just go further and further into my shell and lose myself just a little bit more.

Single parent with 2 kids.....

replies: 1

Hi all, I am currently under a financial crisis because I cannot possibly go to get a job, and it will continue for another 2 years at least. I only have credit facility enough for my next 2 weeks of expense, and I already maxed out all my credit cards due to a long time small cash deficit each month (my income is not enough to cover my expense for a very long time) I am a very basic spender with very minimal spending but cost of living with 2 kids is really a lot. I hope to get some advice from you all - how can I get some income, when I have to take my kids to school and pick them up everyday? I found it almost impossible to do any jobs even Ubering... I am very stressed now because time is running out, I am not sure what can I do when my last few bucks is gone by a week a so!

Narcissistic abuse

replies: 5

Hi All Just realised the man I divorced 4 yrs ago was a covert Narcissist. That means I suffered gas lighting, hoovering, passive aggression and Narcissistic rage. Does any one else identify ?

What to do next with myself

replies: 1

Currently just a bit stuck, everything has kind of just lost its meaning to me all of a sudden and have no motivation for anything whatsoever. As soon as i try to start something I switch off almost instantly.

Meet your community champions! replies: 10

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

Finish waiting until the other person is talking replies: 1

Hi, this is me.. replies: 1

Hi all replies: 2

I don't know how to help myself. replies: 4

Compassion Fatigue & Carer Burnout replies: 1

I need help for my adult son replies: 1

Parenting/Step-Parenting replies: 7

Single parent with 2 kids..... replies: 1

Narcissistic abuse replies: 5

What to do next with myself replies: 1