Welcome and Orientation

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Meet your community champions!

replies: 12

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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Premimenopause

replies: 1

Hi am 50 and have been struggling with perimenopause for years with hot flushes mood swings but the past couple of months my symptoms are worse I cry all the time not sleeping no appetite I feel overwhelmed can’t focus at work it’s really having an impact on my mental health I exercise journal use oils ect nothing works, I don’t want to take any medication it’s the worst feeling

Hi wave

replies: 2

Hi, I'm a 46yo BurntCrumpet girl. Can't shake the depress-mess, always single, struggle to invest in life. Got religion and people who care which literally keeps me alive. Meds help. Psychs haven't so far, but they try. I like encouraging others. I'm... View more

I nearly forgot about this.....

replies: 1

I am returning, I think it's been 4 years since my first post, would like to think I took on the advice given to me? I feel stuck, again. 4 years, long story short, I've been trying to survive, push through my life but finally, I got a diagnosis of GAD and ASD, that's been helpful because I feel like myself but did it take almost five stages of grieving myself to get here, yes! I am proud of myself, my journey wasn't easy but like my username, where's the real me? I am in my late 20's now and after awhile, I'm on the right medication for my anxiety and it works, has it made me feel better, yes! I started at a new job last month, so happy & excited to get back into working. Two weeks ago, I woke up, feeling like I can do this! except that night, I've broken down, crying & I felt so emotional that nothing could help. When to my doctor, next day and I felt like I wasn't taken seriously as before, they said they aren't going to change my medications but can link me with both a psychologist & psychiatrist and I should reach out for help by posting here again, too. I feel down, so emotional that I feel like I might lose my new job as I've can't work in this state, I don't feel like leaving the house but I force it and I pay for it, feeling unwell by it. I've got appointment, tomorrow for an mental health assessment and I hope it goes well. I was fine, then I wasn't, really don't know what has triggered it, this time, especially.

Messed up

replies: 2

Hi . I dont know where to start. but i am messed up and need help. I have been a compulsive liar since i dont know when. I have low self esteem and feel like i am failing. the reason i am here is because i have also not been honest with my wife since we have been together which is 16 years. I lie to protect myself and others , in doing so i am pushing people away that love me the most. Lately over the last 3 years i have tried to change and will stop and think before i say something so i dont fall back into lying but i always seem to do it. I also have a tendency to play the victim and make it look like she is the problem when i know now it is really me all along. I love her so much and i understand how i have hurt her and dont want to anymore. I have booked an appointment to get help. I just dont know what else i can do . i would like her to trust me again, is that even possible. She has told me she loves me and that alls she wants is for me not to lie . I believe that she does love me otherwise she would have left me awhile ago. i just hope i havent done too much damage so it can be fixed. This is just the start of me owning up to my mistakes, lying being the biggest. any advice would be great. Thanks for reading

Intro + Dealing with guilt

replies: 2

Hello there! I'm a 16 year old, ADHD riddled kid who has an affinity for the geeky things in life. I enjoy writing, art, reading, listening to music, etc. To tell the truth, I'm not entirely sure what to write about. I feel like I had nowhere else to go — I can't get professional help, and relying on my friends to hear me out all the time probably isn't the best idea. I've joined this site for support for my mental health. People of all age ranges, cultures, experiences and whatnot are on here, so I think this will be a good oppurtunity for me to get more grounded advice from a myriad of people. I've been on a self-growth journey, learning to self reflect (a skill I've lacked) and communicate more effectively, but recently it's been extremely hard. I messed up big time with my best friend, and in general, I've been struggling a lot with the people in my life. This is important to me because I've grown up with parents who never communicate effectively. My Dad never apologises and overall we only ever settle things by letting time pass. Recently, I did something that breached the trust between me and my friend. She expressed her feelings towards what our other friend and I did, and the first time, I explained my perspective to her, and we all went back and forth. The second time, about a day after, she reiterated all of it, and my immediate thought was "I know all of that already, why doesn't she get it?" and I got incredibly defensive. I realise that my reactions BOTH TIMES were... ineffective? Unhealthy? Toxic? I'm not really sure. But I know it was wrong. That's not all there is to it, but honestly, I just don't know why I can't cope with the guilt of what I did, which is probably why I acted that way. But what can I do to fix it? Is me even thinking about "fixing it" okay? I'm pretty lost, so advice would be greatly appreciated.

Husband secretly visiting brothels for years

replies: 2

In July last year I found out that my husband has been visiting brothels. He left a website open on his phone and I came across it by accident. When I asked him about it, he strenuously denied anything had been going on. He even looked me square in the eyes and told me so. I was not satisfied with his answer (he’s always lying in work situations so I figured he’ll probably be lying to me because he’s proficient at it). I made him install a tracking app (after a similar incident in Jan where he had a condom wrapper stuck to his butt and he didn’t know how it got there - yes he gave a very long winded intricate excuse for that too). So, I check the app for the past month. I found one definite occasion where he went to a brotgel and two maybes. I confronted him about it, he STILL maintained his innocence until he just knew he was caught out. He also admitted to the Jan one at this point. I struggled over it, wanted to leave, but I didn’t (and still don’t) want the world to know what he’s done. Especially his kids. And if I divorced him, they would know. He’s a good dad, he’s a well respected boss and friend. So, we decided to reconcile. Anyway, I kept having thoughts about wanting to see if I could find any other occasions. Lie and behold, I found phone calls to brothels going back 8 YEARS. 8 whole years. He said he didn’t always go in, sometimes it was just calling then hanging up. I believe him because some calls are only a few seconds. But there are many many times where it seems that he did go in. I don’t know what to do now. I’m so angry and sad and hurt. I still don’t want his kids to know because they love their dad, so soooo much. And I don’t want him to be a broken man. I can’t imagine life without him, but more I worry for him. I think I would be fine - it would just take some getting used to. Any advice would be appreciated

Adjusting to retirement with a lazy husband

replies: 1

My husband is very lazy and has to be pushed to do anything. I’ve recently retired after working full time, while he has been on off work for the past few years through injury. I’m still doing the cooking, cleaning, housework and gardening, as I’ve always done. There has never been any help offered and now I’m beginning to resent this. What advice would you have for me to stop me just packing up and leaving him to it!

New Here and Hello

replies: 1

Currently I'm studying. I'm a parent of 3 children. 1 grandchild. I was diagnosed with PTSD, High Anxiety, Border line personality disorder, broken heart syndrome of losing a parent. and a few other things. I decided to join because i believe it woul... View more

Manup

replies: 1

Hi, I am a 46 yo struggling with alcohol addiction. I have been struggling with alcohol for around 24 years. I have dealt with addiction for my entire adult life. Starting with cigarettes and alcohol, then progressively venturing into more illicit drugs. Although the more illicit drugs are gone from my life alcohol seems to be my strongest vice. Perhaps because it is readily available everywhere and advertising is attractive. I have recently crashed my car, and lost my home. I now have to relocate my family to qld and start my life over again. I know I need help and am willing to listen to advice. This is the lowest I have ever felt in my life as it really affects my family life. I love my family and I need to stop all contact with alcohol.

My partner has an ice addiction

replies: 4

Hi, I am unsure where my post belongs, however, my partner has an ice addiction. We have been together a year and a half and a month ago I learned that he is using ice. His explanation was that he was an addict 8 years ago and now only uses casually. I don’t believe someone who was once an addict can use actually, but I don’t have any experience with drugs or addiction myself. I cannot get the night I found the drugs out of my mind, I went through so many emotions. Shock, confusion, sadness, anger, numbness and now a month on I feel worse. I have tried to continue to support him, however, it’s clear that I am devastated. I really try not to let it upset me, particularly in front of him but sometimes it bursts out of me and he doesn’t say anything at all, as if I’m not even there. He doesn’t console me, at times he has removed himself from the room I’m in and the past week he has turned on me and withdrawn completely, and ended our relationship.I feel as though I am being punished for finding the drugs and learning his secret and now that I have, he has discarded me. Finding the drugs and reliving that in my mind constantly was already difficult, and a few nights ago I went to see him and found him just after he had used. He had fallen asleep and when I walked in, his eyes were bloodshot red, the pipe was in front of him and he was hiding the ice behind his back. He’d been drooling. Again, I can’t get these images out of my head. I have never seen him like that before and he obviously never wanted me to see him like that. He looked ashamed and defeated, I sat with him, and it was so sad because he looked like he felt so alone. I am trying to put my own feelings aside, at least while with him, and concentrate on him but I worry that I am being overbearing. My thought is, I want to remind him that he is supported, loved and cared for and my hope is, if he feels that, he might not feel the need to use. I also know he won’t use if I’m with him, so I try and be around him as much as I can. Bringing him food etc, just so I know he’s had at least 1 meal. Are my actions healthy though. It feels like I am acting in desperation, I want to do something/anything to help him. I don’t know what to say or what to do right now. I looked at photos of us tonight, and yes I had noticed a change in his appearance but looking at our photos, it’s heartbreaking. He almost looks like a different person. He’s aged, lost weight, he looks so tired and worn out. I feel quite stupid for not knowing, his friends and family all knew about his past. Some friends have suspected he was using again, I’m the only one who was in the dark about this and I’m the one who has been the closest to him. I want to be there for him but I also cannot feel like this longterm.

Meet your community champions! replies: 12

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

Premimenopause replies: 1

Hi *wave* replies: 2

I nearly forgot about this..... replies: 1

Messed up replies: 2

Intro + Dealing with guilt replies: 2

Husband secretly visiting brothels for years replies: 2

Adjusting to retirement with a lazy husband replies: 1

New Here and Hello replies: 1

Manup replies: 1

My partner has an ice addiction replies: 4