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Meet your community champions!

replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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It's a crying day

replies: 3

Hi all, New here, and, I guess, just looking for a place to talk to like-minded people. My mental health history is all over the place and probably never properly diagnosed. First placed on an antidepressant at 18, and have had many other drugs prescribed in my journey to find out what's wrong with me and why I do the self-destructive things that I do. I figured out that I am probably allergic to SSRIs since I had such intense side effects, usually the opposite of what was expected. So I white knuckle it. I've yet to find a empathetic GP or a psychologist who I gel with (most get max 2 appointments before I give up on them). I'm told that I am a caring, empathetic person myself, but I think that just comes from wanting to make other people happy and not feel the way I do. At this very moment I am questioning whether I deserve to be here as there are so many people whose lives are affected so much worse then my own. The guilt of not counting my blessings. But I am here because this 48 yo happily married and gainfully employed woman, cannot stop crying tonight. And all the self introspection in the world is not helping to figure out why. I feel that I should apologise for sounding so overly dramatic (which is what I would do if I shared this in real life), but I'm hoping this is a place where I don't have to do that. Anyway, I'm looking forward to hopefully being a helpful contributor here and to be able to reach out to others when they are in need and vice versa. Thanks for reading. Back to the wine and tissues (not a crutch I promise, it's just a really nice drop! )

Support for Depression and anxiety

replies: 2

Hi everyone, this is my first time posting here, and I'm a little anxious about it all. Am I posting right? Anyways, I'm struggling with depression and anxiety and hoping to get some support from people here. thank you.

Overwhelmed

replies: 3

In the past couple of weeks I have been struggling to keep my head above water, it seems like as soon as I fix one thing - something else happens. One thing after the other, I never get a chance to just breathe. As a sufferer of anxiety, this definitely doesn't help my situation as I tend to overthink absolutely everything. My boyfriend broke up with me, I've been having trouble with friends and am falling behind in school because I haven't been able to go. I have countless assessments due, and I don't know how I am going to cope. Some days I can't even force myself to get out of bed. I have a job interview for my first job ever on Wednesday and it has just added to the list of things for me to worry about. Not the interview itself, but worrying about what i'm going to do if I get the job - will i be good enough at it? Will they judge me for my mistakes? How quickly am I expected to learn everything? All of this is eating me up inside, I have so many things to worry about, but there's too many things to focus on at one time in order for me to get better, everything is just so overwhelming.

Newbie - Seeking People Who Understand

replies: 9

Hi everyone. First time post, here goes! I am 49, married (second time around) with two kids from my first marriage, and a five year old from my second. I am a career public servant at upper middle level, and I have had battles with depression and anxiety since my early 20s. Right now I'm going through (yet another) severe bout of depression. I appreciate we shouldn't post too much personal detail here but context is important. I'm actually on leave on half pay all of 2020. After many years of stress at work I decided to take this year to be a stay at home dad and help my youngest with their first year of school. Things haven't gone quite to plan with COVID etc but that's unavoidable. Now I am at home and at least not stressed by work but I am depressed as ever. I am very fortunate and have no major problems but I can't seem to shake it. I've tried two different medications over the years but mostly I feel the side-effects are worse than any possible benefits. I have finally weaned off the second of these with much difficulty. I feel hopeless ... everything is poisoned by the depression. Halfway through my leave and I am already starting to stress about returning to work. Long hours and high stress are part of the deal and my family has suffered over the years. I saw little of my older two children when they were younger because I was always at work. I don't want - and my wife definitely doesn't want - me to return to that habit. But at home not working I haven't found the peace and joy I was seeking. The depression never leaves and I am ... so... tired... of fighting every single day. I wake up and it punches me in the face. I am not suicidal but I do have thoughts about it being the only way to stop the pain. I have quit drinking because I did come close once last year on a work trip - after a lot of drinks I found myself on a high balcony and considered doing it. I do have professional help and have a psych I have seen for many years. She is good but no one else in my life understands the pain. My wife cares but doesn't know how to help, and I feel that it is slowly destroying our relationship. I have no real friends left - no one wants to be around depressed people. I feel hopeless- I see no way out and I can't see any options that will make things better. So here I am - hoping to talk to people that understand depression and won't just tell me to cheer up and move on. Thanks for listening.

Just venting

replies: 4

Hey, I have suffered from mental illness a lot of my life. Anxiety, Depression, Suicide attempts, drug and alcohol abuse is my history. I've had multiple therapist from around Australia and have had many different medications. I joined the army straight out of school and served for 6.5yrs before discharging to study Psychology so that maybe I could understand why I am the way I am. It was important to me because I hate the way I am. Now that ive finished my studies, it hasn't fixed anything. I am still struggling day to day just to keep my head above water. I know why. It doesn't help. I guess I joined this forum so that I can express myself without fear of judgment. I don't even expect people to read this but sometimes I just need to let it out. I have what's called a paranoid attachment style. Basically that means that I crave intimacy and friendship but I can't let people in and I fear they will betray me, reject me or I will ruin it. This means it is super hard for me to have friendships or relationships. As much as I know that I want them and it would be good for me, the fear overwhelms me. You might ask what evidence I have for feeling this way. Well, I've had a friend kill themselves without sharing anything about it with me beforehand, I had a wife who I had 2 children with that cheated on me with my brother after using me for years. I had friends that ghosted me when I needed them most, I had a boss that would be nice to my face and would talk shit behind my back and undercut my position. And that's all without mentioning my childhood. I've truly tried to open myself up to relationships but I always seem to drive them away or overly invest before being rejected. Because my life has gone to shit, I have found myself living with my parents and the same brother that betrayed me. I have nowhere else to go and it is impossible to heal here. I worked so hard to earn money and build a life. And now I have lost everything to my ex. So on top of crippling relationship anxiety, now I have all this anger and bitterness underneath. I just don't want to feel this way anymore. I don't want to have to rely on drugs and alcohol to feel ok. I don't want to be alone anymore. I am just over it all. Don't worry though, I won't kill myself. Although the sweet nothingness sounds good I know that there is always hope. Even when I don't feel it.

New to the forum, how are other students coping?

replies: 7

Hey everyone, I recently joined the forums and thought I would introduce myself My name is Tim and I'm currently doing my honours year at university during strict lockdown. Studying during this pandemic is becoming increasingly stressful as the situation remains unpredictable, so I thought it might be nice to meet you all and hear how anyone has been handling studying from home. Personally I've found the shift to online learning to be fine and I have been keeping myself motivated since the beginning of the year, however it really is a marathon and I'm worried I am slowly burning out. My whole family is working/studying from home now so the house is very loud and I really miss the ability to get out to see my peers to share in our stresses or study at the library. How are you all managing to keep yourself motivated? Does anyone have any tips they would like to share?

Not sure why I'm even posting in here

replies: 7

I mean, even now as I type, I feel like such an imposter. But tonight, I'm struggling hard. I've been cooped up inside for almost 2 weeks (not covid, pneumonia) and I feel so despondent and like I'm not really worth much of anything. I have two gorgeous kids and an amazing partner but I know right now I'm not the person he fell in love with and tonight, I feel like he's pushing me away because I'm just too much for him. Or not enough. And there's a logical part of me that knows that's not true (he has said to me before that I can try and push him away, he isn't going anywhere) but honestly... why would he stick around? I feel disgusting, useless, worthless, pathetic... I want help, but I don't want help because I think this is how I deserve to feel. I don't know if I should just resign myself to this fact and learn to deal, instead of whinge.

Hello BeyondBlue and I am new here!!

replies: 4

Hello everyone!! I am Jasjit. First of all, I hope everyone is keeping safe and healthy from COVID-19, especially what has had happened in Victoria!! More importantly, throughout my childhood experiences, I have experienced anxiety. I started schooling from year 3 up to year 12. From all these years I experienced a lot of anxiety: thinking what others will think? Why can't I make friends at school? Why doesn't everyone like me? Why can't I speak like that 'cool' student in my class? So these were all the questions that were in my unconscious mind throughout my childhood. It was a tough journey and it got even worse when I came into my teens. I started experiencing body image, self-esteem issues, and the bullying at school even made it worse! It shattered my self-esteem. But luckily, I did not go into drugs and alcohol to self-medicate myself despite I was silently suffering from anxiety. Later, I developed an eating disorder at the age of 17 and became quite obese! I could not regulate my emotions and my year 12 did not go as I had planned. Though thankfully I got into psychology, I was still having problems with my eating habits and lifestyle. On top of anxiety issues, I was experiencing depressive symptoms. During my third year at uni, it really hit me!! I realized for me to do honors I have to keep my GPA high and I worked very hard even ended up with HDs, but I was not accepted. From all these experiences, what I have learned is that one should ask for help and not be stigmatized. I was quite embarrassed to even go to the psychologist! So how did I do it? I simply did something for myself. I always wanted to be in the most shredded shape of my life. After I became obese, I went on a fat loss transformation where I connected with myself, mind, body, and food. Throughout the journey, I learned that a living thing should not be mistreated. From there I became fully vegan – eating whole foods, started supporting climate change. From all these things I started to literarily gain my confidence back. I gained my identity back! Then I achieved my 6 packs, my grades started to improve and became fearless in public speaking – wow! How cool is that? So that is where I am currently, and I feel I can give back to the community, and hopefully I would be able to save someone’s time from such a long journey. On the last note, I believe connecting and knowing yourself is the biggest gift of human life. Kind regards, Jasjit

Caring for a friend with dementia and need advice on how to cope

replies: 1

My 80 year old friend has stroke induced dementia. We have been partners for several years but always maintained separate residences. For years I have traveled from my place in the country to his place in the city to do his shopping, cleaning and provide companionship. In January, I found him collapsed in his house and got him admitted to hospital. The doctor advised that he had frontal temporal demention and that his condition would only worsen. Placing him in a home was recommended but I agreed to look after him at my home instead. In May, he started having problems with his balance but also his behavior started becoming more erratic. He became convinced that I was going to dump him and get a boyfriend. He became threatening but not physically violent. The GP suggested respite which I organized with a nursing home. I hated the nursing home and when I could not visit because of covid19 he became very angry with me. Then the nursing home restricted residents to their rooms which made him even worse. About a week ago I received a call from the nursing home to say my friend had entered a female residents room and was attempting to have sex with her. I was asked to remove him so I brought him back to my home. His jealousy has worsened and his desire for sexual gratification is constant. If I leave the room, he must follow me. At night he refuses to sleep and keeps me awake with increasingly more bizarre delusions about lovers. The lack of sleep, the constant groping and the constant demands for attention are turning me into an angry person. I don't think I am cut out to provide him with care but the only alternative seems to be to take him to his house in the city but then he cannot look after himself.Any suggestions on how to deal with the constant desire for sex and the all night anger sessions?

2020 during lockdown. Bi polar. Substance and alcohol abuse. No family or friends.

replies: 2

Is this the place to talk about being in hard lockdown while struggling with manic highs, debilitating lows while trying to maintain an addiction. I have no family. No friends. I live alone. What does one do to keep yourself seeing a light at the end of all this? And stop yourself from wallowing in self destructive thoughts, participating in risky behaviour, being high, being low. All over the place. I'm 62 and feeling like this pandemic could very well be how life will now look like. No freedom. Not able to plan any future because the rules change daily. No human interaction if you live alone and are already isolated...now there are no services you can physically reach out to. Feeling guilty for having issues while the world is in crisis. Finding negativity is wiping out all sense of hope or positivity.

Meet your community champions! replies: 10

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

It's a crying day replies: 3

Support for Depression and anxiety replies: 2

Overwhelmed replies: 3

Newbie - Seeking People Who Understand replies: 9

Just venting replies: 4

New to the forum, how are other students coping? replies: 7

Not sure why I'm even posting in here replies: 7

Hello BeyondBlue and I am new here!! replies: 4

Caring for a friend with dementia and need advice on how to cope replies: 1

2020 during lockdown. Bi polar. Substance and alcohol abuse. No family or friends. replies: 2