I am in pain. It hurts so much. I feel very tense, the muscles all over
my body are spasming and convulsing. I am angry at the person who hurt
me, and also feel very threatened by them. I am sure they will hurt me
again. They are cruel to a psychopat...
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I am in pain. It hurts so much. I feel very tense, the muscles all over
my body are spasming and convulsing. I am angry at the person who hurt
me, and also feel very threatened by them. I am sure they will hurt me
again. They are cruel to a psychopathological level, and are well
practiced at concealing their cruelty with the appearance of kindness,
generosity, empathy, sympathy, and compassion. They are very experienced
at manipulating people into doing what they want. They lie, cheat,
steal, and anything else they can be sure, from experience, will help
them achieve their goal without getting caught and punished. They have
established strong relationships with very high ranking law enforcement
officials to get out of any sticky situation. They use this power
immorally to "play God", manipulating people into giving them more
power, much like a global corporation has a pathological persuit for
profit and power. This person is EVIL. They have the resources to track
me down wherever I go, so there is nowhere to escape to. There is no
safe haven. I am, and always will be, continuously watched. As their
power and influence grows, they become gradually bolder and overt with
their cruelty, and more confident they are untouchable. They are a storm
growing all around me, and will continue to grow until the imbalance
that created them is corrected. They are a significant and immenent
threat to everyone caught in the storm, and everyone in the path of the
storm. They found me the last 2 times I cut off contact with all humans
everywhere, and disposed of all electronics. I walked away from modern
life, and lived in a tent in the middle of an area of state forest for
an unknown period, but I couldn't get away from them. They stuck me in
hospital again, where I received more brainwashing under the guise of
therapy. In the past, my attempts to fight back have been not just
ineffective, but usually backfire. If I throw a kilo of manure at them,
they throw 5 kilos back at me. You'd think this would give me 5 kilos
worth of ammo to throw back, but it's kinda hard to throw when you're
drowning and choking on the sticky mess. I've never tried to kill or
seriously injure anyone, and I sense most people will discourage this
kind of action. I have also tried shutting down, and basically
surrendering to them in a "do your worst" kind of attitude, but they
have a way of getting under my skin, pushing my emotional buttons, and
triggering a full rage experience which they then say is "... for fun.
We're just kidding around, you know that right. You don't have to go off
the handle at me for making a joke." I assume everyone here knows about
the fight or flight response. There is a third: Freeze, mentioned above,
when we hide inside ourselves. I've tried it all, and this person has a
counter strategy for everything I've been able to come up with. There is
nowhere to hide, inside myself or in the world, and fighting back makes
everything hurt more. I am seeking help. I'm looking for any strategy
that has ever worked against a ruthless and powerful authoritarian
tyrant. I am begging for any method of acquiring peace from this person.
The person I have described accurately represents not one but MANY
people in my life. Several. numerous. A multitude. They're all sucking
the life out of me, and there is no escape. Some of them work together
against me, each one powerful in their own right, but in a temporary
alliance there is no hope. I feel so weak, tired, stretched, all the
time. I can't fight on 2 fronts at once, let alone dozens. I lack the
coordination and multitasking skills for simultaneous conflict against
several aggressors. I welcome death with open arms. I have had parties
hoping it would attend. I have made many attempts at making it's
acquaintance in spectacular fashion, but something always happens to
prevent me. I don't understand this fear of death so many seem to have.
Does that make me suitable for an employment position as an undertaker?
I'm not trying anything drastic at any time in the near future though.
My university course is interesting enough for now. I will still welcome
death should it appear, but I'm not going to go looking for it for a
while, unless there is another major trigger event to push me over the
edge. No, I don't mean like low grades or the cafeteria being sold out
of my favourite flavour of yogurt. I mean like another incident of
"joking around" (torturous bullying) in a way that is so harmful to me I
instinctively start looking for a weapon to defend myself with until I
again realise self-defence against these types of tormentors is a futile
endeavour. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE
Parents and caregivers: How are you feeling about the social media restrictions for under 16s?
