Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

Wanderingguy Serious Question
  • replies: 5

Hello everyone. I am a first time poster. My anxiety has been building for months now and my medication does not seem to be working and the past week I have had the overwhelming urge to self harm which happened last night I have not done this for may... View more

Hello everyone. I am a first time poster. My anxiety has been building for months now and my medication does not seem to be working and the past week I have had the overwhelming urge to self harm which happened last night I have not done this for maybe 6yrs! when I did the act it wasnt the pain that eased my anxiety but the end result i.e. seeing the harm. My question is this: Is this why people harm themselves? is it the pain or the end result which eases your anxiety? I remember a Psychologist telling me that it was the pain that usually eased the anxiety. Would love to hear your thoughts. I am safe and under care at the moment but I am also in hotel quarantine which isnt helping.

sjos The inVISIBLE illness
  • replies: 4

My hands are shaking and my chest is tying itself into a knot - I'm not sure if this is because I'm in yet another episode or I feel like a shift is coming being welcomed in to this world. A world I thought I was alone in. It's tragically beautiful -... View more

My hands are shaking and my chest is tying itself into a knot - I'm not sure if this is because I'm in yet another episode or I feel like a shift is coming being welcomed in to this world. A world I thought I was alone in. It's tragically beautiful - seeing so many likeminded souls. I don't know why I have always been so apprehensive of this sort of thing. (forums/groups etc). I have a wonderful supportive fiancé, a dachshund and an Irish wolfhound, an amazing (slightly dysfunctional) family. I am caring, loving, a good listener and very positive, friendly person in my social world. I am currently at the end stage of building a first home with my partner in a beautiful neighbourhood. I have suffered depression since the age of 12. A car accident that damaged my shoulder, leaving me with chronic pain and migraines and PTSD. Anxiety was new at 22. Drug and Alcohol abuse at it's peak at 25. Diagnosis of ME/CFS (Chronic fatigue syndrome) and IBS at 27. I am freshly 28. I'm in a depressive/CFS episode - who knows, sometimes i cannot distinguish the two. I haven't worked in two years - unable to control my physical and mental health long enough to keep a job. Before I left my job of 6 years, I attempted my life. I have been hospitalised 3 times for this. Once last year, once in 2018 and once at 16. I am an incredibly lucky soul to have not been successful in these attempts. This reminds me to add this to my gratitude list later. I regularly see my GP, Psychologist and Psychiatrist but outside of this i try to manage a very unsuccessful routine of sleeping well, meditation, yoga, eating well and journalling. This comes crashing down in an episode and becomes too heartbreaking to start the process again. But i will. Because that is this weird and wonderful journey we have been given, isn't it? I am struggling coming to terms with this not so 'invisible' illness. Coming to terms with having this for the rest of my life. Lacking quality of life it feels like. Worrying if I'll be well enough to work again, have a child, be part of a friends group. Do you ever get like that? Frankie the dashie is looking at me like I am the centre of his Universe. Today is feeling better then yesterday, maybe tomorrow might just be that bit better again?!

Cam_e Everything feels insurmountable
  • replies: 2

Hello, Everything feels insurmountable. I'm really not sure how to adult and be responsible. I used to be, I think? As I was growing up, I coulda sworn I was driven and determined and wanted to succeed in life. Then I got 2020'd as did most, but prio... View more

Hello, Everything feels insurmountable. I'm really not sure how to adult and be responsible. I used to be, I think? As I was growing up, I coulda sworn I was driven and determined and wanted to succeed in life. Then I got 2020'd as did most, but prior to that, since 2017, I had really been struggling. And I wasn't alone. I shared these struggles with my closest, best friend of a girlfriend. She eventually became the mother to my current 3 month old son. Now, I'm not sure if post-natal depression is playing some big role in all of this, but what I had in mind going into all of this, for months and months, was that I would be a loving, nurturing dad 24/7 for my son. Instead, I live trapped in this rather ridiculous situation where I must visit my son as though he were like a library check-out system or as though I were visiting someone in prison. While I am not directly blaming the mother for these issues, I cannot deny that it is rough for me, personally. I am really not dealing with this situation well and it is badly effecting me in more ways than one. Currently I am in debt to Centrelink, because apparently they paid me too much? Idk how that's my fault/problem? On top of that, my bank is in the negative and I've missed 3 weeks of work due to basically everything feeling completely overwhelming and bullshit and unfair and my god why should I even bother posting this... Did I bring all of this on myself? Do I deserve this? Did I kick a puppy in my past life or something? I feel useless and trash at life... How and why do I let so many other people control my life? Yeah I probably sound crazy at this point with the minimal amount of context... Sorry. Honestly, I don't really know what to do and have seriously lacked guidance after high school so many years ago. I don't know what I'm doing and I have no idea how to get myself out of this hole that I basically dug myself. Please help.

Jason-X I feel worthless no matter what I do
  • replies: 5

I've tried therapy and medication. I'm at a loss at what to do with myself. I work on projects or hobbies to try and distract myself but even then I feel nothing. I don't enjoy anything. I can spend hours working on something and can't feel proud abo... View more

I've tried therapy and medication. I'm at a loss at what to do with myself. I work on projects or hobbies to try and distract myself but even then I feel nothing. I don't enjoy anything. I can spend hours working on something and can't feel proud about it. Even at work, it feels like I don't deserve the money I receive. Every morning I wake up wishing I was dead. When I look in the mirror I want to smash it. I hate that ugly person looking back at me. I hate everything about my appearance and who I am. The only time I feel okay is when I'm living vicariously through others. I socialise to distract myself. The second I'm alone it all comes back. I wonder why people even put up with me. Is it out of pity? Is it because they don't know any better? Half the time I'm counting down how soon it'll be before they finally realise how worthless I am and leave me. Sometimes I wish they would. That way it'd be easier for me to off myself. And no one knows this is how I feel. I keep up a happy façade and act like I'm okay. I'm too scared to tell anyone how I actually feel, I don't want them to leave me. I tried telling my mum - she told me I was ungrateful, an attention seeker. A loser. She said I'm unfixable and it's pointless trying to get better. I don't want to live anymore but I'm too scared to try again. But I'm so tired of being alive and feeling awful all the time. What do I do? I've tried everything I can. I've asked for help, I've gotten on medication. What else is there to do? I really don't know what to do anymore.

SadJo All consuming.... so tired, so drained, so empty.....
  • replies: 5

I'm so tired of fighting this darkness. I've been on medication for depression for over 20 years - I've had my flare ups but always managed to live a relatively "normal" and happy life. The last few years have been a different story though, it's the ... View more

I'm so tired of fighting this darkness. I've been on medication for depression for over 20 years - I've had my flare ups but always managed to live a relatively "normal" and happy life. The last few years have been a different story though, it's the other way round. I'm tired, I'm drained, I'm empty - I've had enough. I have had therapy, been to group therapy sessions (CBT), had 2 stints in a mental health clinic but these are just bandaids. I want out.... I want peace.

AnonymousID Suicidal idealation
  • replies: 78

The suicidal thoughts are non stop. I have come close to death several times, which was scary but not scary enough to stop me from doing it again. I self harm because I think that's a better alternative than another attempt. I've been stuck in this p... View more

The suicidal thoughts are non stop. I have come close to death several times, which was scary but not scary enough to stop me from doing it again. I self harm because I think that's a better alternative than another attempt. I've been stuck in this pattern for as long as I can remember and don't know how to get out of it.

simo_s Should I tell my partner that I relapsed?
  • replies: 5

Hi, First time posting here because I need some advice.... Last night I went out with my partner (together 3 yrs) and all his friends and I really embarrassed myself and embarrassed my partner. I got a little too drunk and was acting weird and my par... View more

Hi, First time posting here because I need some advice.... Last night I went out with my partner (together 3 yrs) and all his friends and I really embarrassed myself and embarrassed my partner. I got a little too drunk and was acting weird and my partner told me that I ruined the atmosphere a little. I used to self harm around 7 years ago and sought treatment and am in a much much better headspace. Very rarely though, my emotions become really overwhelming and I lose control of myself and my thoughts and forget about all the progress I've made. About a year ago this happened and I relapsed (this only happened once) and I felt so guilty and ashamed that I told my partner a random excuse for the scratches and he believed me. After reflecting on behaviour last night and receiving a phone call from my partner who was concerned, I spiralled because I felt extremely embarrassed and mortified for disappointing him. I just want to say that he didn't try and make me feel this way and never has before, he just wanted to know if something was wrong that caused me to act in that way. I ended up hurting myself again (not seriously) because I lost control of my emotions and in the moment felt like I needed a release. I have no plans of doing this again and deeply regret doing it. I just want to know if I should come clean to my partner. I know he will be deeply upset and I don't want to make things weird or awkward. I do want to tell him because I do want some comfort and support but I just feel like it will come across like I am gaslighting him and trying to make him feel like he made me do this by confronting me about my behaviour. I would feel so guilty coming across this way and this would make me feel even worse. I also don't want him to be scared to confront me if I make mistakes in the future, for fear of causing me to relapse. Should I wait a few days or tell him in a little while while the situation isn't so fresh? Or should I just not tell him at all like last time. It worked out best last time because we were able to move past it and I didn't upset him. I'm also scared that he just wont understand and might take it really badly, like an insult. I feel so ashamed and guilty and can't think straight. I don't live with him so he can't see that I feel like this. Any advice?

Squidy Jury Duty
  • replies: 6

Hi. Apologies if i'm doing this wrong, I have never done this before. I am 50 years old and about 4 years ago got myself diagnosed with Asperger's, because I always knew I was 'different'. I am married (thank god for the internet), but I have no frie... View more

Hi. Apologies if i'm doing this wrong, I have never done this before. I am 50 years old and about 4 years ago got myself diagnosed with Asperger's, because I always knew I was 'different'. I am married (thank god for the internet), but I have no friends and am unable to maintain or initiate any form of decent conversation. Most people think I'm weird and just give up. I don't talk very much and can't use the phone. I also have a stutter, which doesn't help with the phone thing. All these depression help places have 24 hour phone lines, but I can't use the phone, and the chats don't start until later, so here I am. Just over a year ago I was diagnosed with severe anxiety - I see bad things happening ALL the time. I don't see a man standing at a corner, waiting to cross the street, I see a man in danger. I see my wife falling down our stairs, my kids tripping over a t-shirt and hurting themselves. Always pain and death. I have multiple panic attacks all day, every day. I went to the psychiatrist because my wife made me - they wanted me on drugs and CBT, but I countered that by never going back to my GP or talking about it again ... I can't talk about it, I just want it to go away. I got a letter 4 weeks ago telling me to go to jury duty .. I can't be in a room full of strangers .. I can't go to the city (last time I went was with my wife and I had a panic attack) .. I won't take public transport... and I'm being forced to do all this stuff. I thought the easiest way out of it was to harm myself, but my wife organised a phone appt with a GP, who told me because it had been more than 12 months since she had seen me she couldn't do anything and told me it was my civic duty. I felt really humiliated. I had to turn up to jury duty on monday - my brother drove me in... was dishcarged and told to come in again on tuesday and was discharged again until thursday where I will get assigned to a trial. Every time they go through the ballot its like being in front of a firing squad .. 4 times and each time I feel like I'm going to die. I can't go to court .. these are all criminal cases - I steer away from this sort of stuff - I watch cartoons and try to think of other things. I can't be in a room with people talking about violence and paedophiles and whatever else there may be .. I don't know what to do.

anniefakename I've tried everything but I'm losing hope
  • replies: 7

I have been suicidal for years, i am now 17 nearly 18. I think about it every single day of my life. I try not to, I try to do every distraction and activity that my psychiatrist has given me, I take medication, I try so so hard not to be like this. ... View more

I have been suicidal for years, i am now 17 nearly 18. I think about it every single day of my life. I try not to, I try to do every distraction and activity that my psychiatrist has given me, I take medication, I try so so hard not to be like this. Nothing has helped. I'm in so much pain I barely have the effort to write this. Professional help hasn't done much for me and I am undiagnosed with anything but have been treated for depression and gone through those suicide safety counselling sessions. I don't get joy doing much now. I have no motivation for school and I am doing badly in my classes, in my most important year of school. I don't care about much now. I can't communicate how horrible I feel right now, I could write on and on but I just want to give up. Im out of explanations and just words in general. How can this hurt so bad? Everyone says it will get better but why hasn't it for me? Im not trying to make a sob story but I so desperately want this to be over Im begging for help but no one is helping. I don't know what to even say at this point, I just thought I have nothing to lose so if anyone has any words of advice or literally anything I'd be happy to hear it. Thank you. Let me know if you have any questions as well.

MOOSMONATOR My depression (what I'm going through, right now)
  • replies: 1

No one cared for me for why should I care for them? If I do, that's just gonna ruin my life even more... Sometimes there never is a reason/cause to someone being depressed, and for people, different emotions can be stronger and show more in them, and... View more

No one cared for me for why should I care for them? If I do, that's just gonna ruin my life even more... Sometimes there never is a reason/cause to someone being depressed, and for people, different emotions can be stronger and show more in them, and for me, it sadness... I'm just depressed all the time. I'm starting to think no one cares, and why would they anyways, I haven't done anything special. I'm one of those people who is there for others but no one is there for me, and it's ruining my life, I need to stop caring. I've also been thinking that I'm not perfect, I'm starting to work on my body so that people might like me, even though I'm under weight from not eating. I have considered killing myself MANY times but has never had the strength or energy to do it. I might seem fine at school and stuff but that's just me hiding my depression, or what I like to call it "a mask of emotions" which I put on to hide the emotions I don't want people seeing and having the fake emotions show instead, like happiness and stuff like that. And on top of all that, I broke up with my GF who I was dating for 4 years, because she was at my old school (8 hours away in a different town) and at that same time, my best friend was in hospital, and recently 1 of my friends have dated my crush (I was Heart broken from that) and my other best friend likes her, and he has a better chance at getting with her instead of me. So for that reason I think I should just give up on caring about other, because it's ruining my life. I can't get heart broken if my crush dates my best friend, if I don't care about them.