Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Hello,

replies: 10

Hi, this is the saddest moment. I’m so sorry. I hope there is hope here? b

Loneliness

replies: 2

Hi, I'm in Melbourne and we are in another lockdown. I am lucky, I am an essential worker so I still get to feel productive and see people in my work, but I can't get over this feeling of loneliness and despair. My ex husband left me a few years ago, and I live on my own. I have never had another partner other than him, and I don't think I ever will - I am not a fun, outgoing, interactive person and I don't have any positive qualities I could bring to a relationship. I also don't have the energy to navigate online dating (which seems to be the only way to meet people these days.) I asked my two best friends to be my single social bubble buddies, and they both refused. I understand their reasons for refusing, but it still hurts. I also suffer from a chronic pain condition, which I have been told will never get better. Every day it seems like I struggle more and more just to get on with the everyday tasks I need to do and there is never going to be an end to it. I feel like all I am is a function; that while I am useful, I am not somebody who would be missed if I am gone. All I want is for there to be no pain, peace and a feeling that I am important to someone, but I cannot see this ever happening. My life stretches out before me like a dark, desolate and empty road with no destination at the end of it. I am tired of walking down that road. I am sorry to burden anyone with my words.

officially estranged from my narcissistic aunt and grandmother

replies: 2

I had not spoken with my grandmother in about two-and-a-half weeks after she had deliberately called me overweight. She called me overweight, after I told her that "life should be enjoyed, not endured," which was in response to the pair of us discussing my diet and exercise. I decided to visit her today with the assumption that my father made for me to ponder over, that she wanted me to reconcile with her. I rang the doorbell to find that she was not impressed to see me at all. I thought that maybe visiting her and trying to talk with her about the fact that she called me overweight had affected me negatively, but instead she deflected the situation onto me and played the victim, which is typical behaviour from her. Her claim is that I am abusive to her although when I confronted her about that she was unable to provide any evidence of me behaving in such a way. I also just wanted an apology for her calling me overweight and for the fact that she abused me over the phone at the beginning of last year. I got cross with her after she dismissed my feelings because I was hurt by how condescending she was towards me. She told either my mother or father that if we attend her house again she will put restraining orders against my mother and I, even though the pair of us have done nothing wrong and nothing to her. My grandmother has also threatened to get a Maori woman in out family to beat up my mum and I. My mother is depressed because she is nearly fifty and all she wants in life now is peace. But she cannot understand as to why she is consistently being dragged into family problems that she has nothing to do with. I am glad that my grandmother does not want anything to do with my mother and I because we think she is negative. My father is stuck because he loves his mother but he also loves my mother and I. He does not want his mother to think poorly of him, which is understandable. My mother is speaking with a psychologist once a fortnight but in spite of this her and my father refuse to seek proper psychological assistance for themselves. I have suggested Susan to mum but she is not interested and does not seem to care about us improving our relationship. She is codependent on my father, unfortunately. This makes life especially hard for me. As you can probably imagine, I am feeling suicidal. I wish I could end my life but I am too scared to act upon it.

don't know what to do

replies: 3

hi, I don't really know where to start but I don't know what to do. I don't remember the last time I've truly been happy. I'm extremely socially anxious which means I'm hopeless at making friends. I can't even talk to my parents. I feel like I'm destroying all my friendships just because I've become so self aware and scared of losing them. I feel really lonely right now. I have struggled with self harm in the past and Im scared I'm going to start again. I really feel like giving up right now but I know it's going to break my mum. She's really not mentally stable at the moment. She's suicidal and an alcoholic. I look after her and my little brother since my parents are divorced. My brother doesn't see my dad anymore so I can't go because I have to look after him. This sounds so sappy and like I feel sorry for myself but I don't know what else to do. I've struggled with self harm in the past and I've been clean for a few months but I feel like I might start again. This has gone on for two years now and It hasn't gotten better. I don't really know why I made this post I kinda just needed to vent

Heartbreak and my BPD

replies: 3

Hi everyone. I’m looking for a bit of advice at the moment because I’m currently struggling with quite a bad breakup and it’s left me absolutely devastated and heartbroken and I just don’t know how I’m going to be able to move forwards from this. It’s been nearly three months and even though I was doing really well for almost two months- eating healthy, making sure I got enough sleep and exercising 5 time a week which is something I didn’t do throughout the whole relationship- I seem to have fallen back into a slump and am back to eating bad, going to sleep at stupidly late hours and barley getting out of the house let alone exercising. On top of this I just feel hopeless, I struggle with BPD which has made things even more of a mess because my moods are constantly changing from numb to sad to angry and it’s exhausting. Ontop of this Melbourne is back in lockdown so I won’t be working for a week (hopefully this lockdown dosen’t last any longer) but it’s only been one day and I honestly don’t know if I will cope a full week of doing nothing but being stuck by myself with my own thoughts. Unfortunately tonight I actually self-harmed for the first time in well over a year because I was so desperate to try and calm myself down. I just feel so horrible because I was so so in love with this person and this breakup was so out of the blue that I don’t know what to do with myself. we had been living together for almost a year and now we don’t speak at all and he refuses to meet up with me to talk to me which is all I want because I feel like I have had no closure and even though I have spent hours trying to figure out what went wrong I don’t know and it’s killing me. I don’t know if anyone will be able to help me or why I’m even posting this but thanks for reading this I guess

I'm so tired

replies: 8

Hey everyone, Just wanted to know if anyone has ever rung one of the help lines and felt like it has really helped? I am struggling but don't want a bad experience to make me feel worse, or to upset anyone who is just trying to help. I also don't want to be on a database, to have any follow up calls or to have authorities alerted to me, I am safe, I am not going to hurt myself ,and I am not going to hurt anyone else. thanks NM

Feeling hopeless

replies: 29

Hi everyone, I have been in a bad place for a while now . Am new to this and was hoping to chat to some people.

Suicidal thought

replies: 3

Hi, 3 weeks ago I attempted suicide, I was at the beach at night and just started walking and kept walking, the next thing I remember is being at the hospital. I'm waiting for a room to come available at a hospital for mental health and still having thoughts, 4 years ago I had a work place accident and have been in pain every day and night, I can't handle the pain any more I've been on that many medications but nothing is working all they do is make me hear voices and see things that aren't really there. Thanx for listening

I Want to Keep Fighting - Trigger Warnings

replies: 2

First of all, I'm safe and I've no plans to do anything horrible to myself, but I feel as though I can't truly confront my depression and anxiety without also acknowledging that sometimes I do not have the strength to offer self-compassion. I always feel really bad asking for help, like I'm guilty of being lazy or irresponsible, but then I remind myself that we all feel that way sometimes and I wouldn't think that of someone else who felt so sad and alone and was struggling. I don't really know what to do, but the last few days I've been waking up with no energy and staring at the ceiling. I've had suicidal thoughts before, all throughout life, and even going so far as to physically hurt myself because I thought it was the only way to "punish" myself for being so inadequate. I don't do that anymore and I'm in a much better place overall in life, yet these thoughts still intrude every once in a while and it sets me spinning. I suppose it's because a part of me wants to give up and is terrified of being hurt, or hurting someone else. I'm terrified of intimacy. I'm scared of new relationships, but I'm doing my best to fight through that assumption that everything will be terrible, and have recently been going out and meeting new people and am trying to find clubs in my area so I can branch out further. It's just... it's really scary. Some days I don't want to do anything. I'm sorry this post is so confused. I'm really confused too. I just want to keep doing my best, because I know there are lots of others out there struggling against that feeling every day. I believe we can do it, but gosh... it really is hard sometimes.

Life is hard

replies: 7

Been to docs today told him how I was feeling depressed, anxious , suicidal , don’t know which way to turn at the moment split with partner 2 years ago , I’m from uk living in oz , no friends or family to turn to but got 2 little kids here but I’m struggling to see a future for me . Everyday for the past 3/4 weeks I’ve felt like ending my life and the most painless way of doing it . I’m ok at the moment but it’s hard living in a foreign country with no one to talk to . Maybe that’s why I’m here .

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Hello, replies: 10

Loneliness replies: 2

officially estranged from my narcissistic aunt and grandmother replies: 2

don't know what to do replies: 3

Heartbreak and my BPD replies: 3

I'm so tired replies: 8

Feeling hopeless replies: 29

Suicidal thought replies: 3

I Want to Keep Fighting - Trigger Warnings replies: 2

Life is hard replies: 7