Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 96

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

Fairyg3rll It’s getting bad again
  • replies: 3

Um... not really sure how this whole thing works but I really need to vent right now, not going to say my name for privacy reasons but I’ll tell you that I’m 15 and really struggling right now. The thing is, I was doing okay for a while. November- De... View more

Um... not really sure how this whole thing works but I really need to vent right now, not going to say my name for privacy reasons but I’ll tell you that I’m 15 and really struggling right now. The thing is, I was doing okay for a while. November- December last year was one of the worst times of my life. I thought about ending it a lot. Then magically, without anyone knowing, I got better. And although i wasn’t at my best, January and February were okay for the most part. It’s mid March now, and I feel things getting bad again. I don’t know why, it’s just a random wave of depression. I know this is gonna be like how it was last year because this is exactly how it felt, the fatigue, the loss of energy, the uncontrollable crying, the loss in appetite, the feeling of hopelessness, the staring into the void etc. I have an essay tomorrow, and I don’t know how I’m going to be able to write it feeling like this. I can’t do anything, I want to find joy in things again but I can’t. None of my old hobbies interest me anymore. I’m so tired. I just want to get better, but I can’t.

112211 Advice Please
  • replies: 6

My daughter is 14 and for months I have been trying to support her mental health. I cannot seem to get support and I just don’t know how this works. Her GP referred her to a psychiatrist for an assessment but the psychiatrist won’t see her. No reason... View more

My daughter is 14 and for months I have been trying to support her mental health. I cannot seem to get support and I just don’t know how this works. Her GP referred her to a psychiatrist for an assessment but the psychiatrist won’t see her. No reason given. I am very limited with options as she is scared of talking to or seeing a male psychiatrist. We have waited months for a psychologist appointment and it’s still 3 weeks away. Hub services tell me they can’t help and emergency triage services say she is not classed as urgent and is still months from being seen. I am scared that all this waiting is just pointless and I know every day brings her more misery and pain. She has become disassociated with life and struggles with every day tasks of school and hygiene. Is there anything I can do within the mental health system that will help?

Babyypapillon How to get over depression and suicidal thoughts
  • replies: 5

I have had depression and been self harming for 7 years now and honestly it hasn't gotten better. I have insomnia and I stay up till the earliest parts of the night. Idk how to break it to my mum or let my mum know what's going on with me and I've be... View more

I have had depression and been self harming for 7 years now and honestly it hasn't gotten better. I have insomnia and I stay up till the earliest parts of the night. Idk how to break it to my mum or let my mum know what's going on with me and I've been abused since I was really young and told I'm worthless. Last night I told my mum I wanted to od and I told her that I just didn't want to be around anymore and tonight after an actually okay day at work, she came to pick me up, yelled at me the entire car trip home and even a little more after we got home. I'm sitting in my room at 1:02am, not ready to sleep because im in pain. Anyways, it's back again. Those thoughts. those feelings. And I don't have an outlet. I self harm and cause myself pain so I don't cause other people pain that they don't deserve. Only I deserve my pain. And if you need it, I'll take yours too because you don't deserve that pain. You're strong. A lot stronger than me. If you've gotten this far, thank you for reading this. It honestly means the world to me that people are hearing what I'm saying and understanding. It makes me feel that I'm not alone and maybe can make it that one step further. The next day. "Tomorrow is a new day" they say. "Don't let today's misery make tomorrow a cloudy day" well, I like the rain, and I like the clouds. They express my feelings on the inside. Gloomy, boring, grey. As most would describe such days. I just don't feel like I'm enough. I'm the disappointment of my family

Guest_5461 Chronic Pain
  • replies: 17

I don’t actually feel that comfortable posting here. I don’t have any major trauma inducing event or crippling mental disorders as others have described. I can, however, see my future in these forums as our savings and social support dwindle. I have ... View more

I don’t actually feel that comfortable posting here. I don’t have any major trauma inducing event or crippling mental disorders as others have described. I can, however, see my future in these forums as our savings and social support dwindle. I have been diagnosed with Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome which currently has no cure. It took a while to get A diagnoses and I have just surfaced with the help of a ludicrous amount of neuropathic pain killers beyond survival mode for the first time in three years.I'm lucky that I had a firm routine of mindfulness and journaling in place prior to this. When I was diagnosed I was immediately referred to pain specialist and a psychologist, but as I live in a regional town and mental help is practically non existent. I haven’t heard anything from the psychologist and as a “urgent” patient the pain specialist in the closest metro area will see me in February. The use of prescription pain killers is not sustainable. I’m angry that the lack of regional health care means that a delayed diagnoses means I didn’t get appropriate care and I have little chance of recovery. I feel that I have no agency in my own health care, I’ve lost my ability to work full time and am quickly losing mobility. I would move closer to good health care, but I recognise I don’t have the Physical strength atm to make that happen. I fear for my relationship with my husband as he is both primary carer for me and income Provider. It’s not fair to him. I do not see myself willing being a burden on him, I don’t want him to be a carer, I don’t want him to be a frazzled man old before his time, tied to home duties, sick of the baggage that comes with dealing with someone in pain. At the same timeI can’t Imagine life without him. Selfish I know but I also personally don’t want to slowly die in agonising pain with no social support, At the moment I can’t see any alternative other than suicide.

Depressionisation Tired and overwhelmed
  • replies: 4

I've been suffering on and off with depression for more than 20 years. It's exhausting. I've been on all types of medications and tried everything from, spa baths, meditation and yoga, but I can't get out of this feeling of hopelessness, anxiety, hel... View more

I've been suffering on and off with depression for more than 20 years. It's exhausting. I've been on all types of medications and tried everything from, spa baths, meditation and yoga, but I can't get out of this feeling of hopelessness, anxiety, helplessness and uselessness. I don't pity those that have passed on. They are in peace and in a strange way I envy them. It's all about your thoughts and beliefs around death. None of knows, but I have a very strong belief that it's just like sleeping or pre-birth. My Dad used to call it the big sleep. What do you remember before you were born or even before the age of about 4. NOTHING. That's death to me, nothing. No money, no pain, no responsibility, no heartache. Pure peace. The pain and sadness is only inflicted on those still alive. That's the only thing keeping here, in this crazy world of disasters and misery. Life is suffering and I'm really sick of suffering every day. Sleep is my best friend. I can't get enough. To wake, is to suffer all over again for another day.

Bren23 Feel like I can’t do this anymore, I am exhausted
  • replies: 4

To those who say “it gets better” “ just keep going” I am sorry but it doesn’t feel that way and I don’t feel like I have the strength to keep going. I am fighting a losing battle and I don’t see the point in continuing to fight when I have been like... View more

To those who say “it gets better” “ just keep going” I am sorry but it doesn’t feel that way and I don’t feel like I have the strength to keep going. I am fighting a losing battle and I don’t see the point in continuing to fight when I have been like this for 15 years; each time it comes around it’s even stronger then before ; I am and have been on anti depressants for years, I’ve seen therapists galore, when you think things are finally turning around... nope that doesn’t happen. My perceptual reality is loneliness, it is all I have known; people don’t really see you , they don’t really care. I don’t even know why I am reaching out; I guess there is a flicker of hope. I don’t see a light at the end anymore only darkness and despair.

ypla Can't take it anymore
  • replies: 3

I'm so sick of being ignored. Thought about suicide all day during work. If I die right now, noone would care. People wouldn't even I realise if I was gone. I would only be statistics at death records. I don't deserve this. I want to fight for the fu... View more

I'm so sick of being ignored. Thought about suicide all day during work. If I die right now, noone would care. People wouldn't even I realise if I was gone. I would only be statistics at death records. I don't deserve this. I want to fight for the future I want but I'm scared of harming myself. Please help

Chumptastic *Trigger Warning* Triggered my recent sexual assault allegations in parliament
  • replies: 4

Hi, TRIGGER WARNING ️ I haven’t been here since my last hospitalisation in august last year. Despite some ups and downs things recently have been good. Got a new job have moved into my friends place and I’m in the process of buying a house (scary). b... View more

Hi, TRIGGER WARNING ️ I haven’t been here since my last hospitalisation in august last year. Despite some ups and downs things recently have been good. Got a new job have moved into my friends place and I’m in the process of buying a house (scary). but the latest allegations of sexual assault by a cabinet minister from a woman who suicided last year have sent me into a bit of a spin. Then I read a sex trafficking story and the parallels in that story resonated with what happened in my marriage. The divorce last year was a major reason for my hospitalisations. I started to self harm again and that made me realise that I’m still very much not ok. I’m not seeing a psychologist as money has been tight and I haven’t found one that’s a good fit. My GP has been great but keeps referring me to my psychiatrist who is not so great at talking therapy. idk do you ever get over the trauma of sexual assault? I don’t want to be seen as a victim. But I think not acknowledging my early experiences or sweeping it under the carpet of outward success was what led to a highly insidiously abusive marriage. It was hard to recognise it for that but now I finally see it for the manipulation that it was. I’ve finally realised what my GP was trying to say all along. That it doesn’t matter how life treats you. Good or bad it’s still the same s**t underneath. It’s been awhile since the urge to self harm has been here and I’m disappointed that it’s come back despite the good things that have happened. How do you ever move on? A lot of people don’t.

pandalover00 Abusive parents
  • replies: 5

My parents have been abusive my whole life and I developed ptsd from that. I can't deal anymore. Traumatic things keep happening one after another and I keep getting worse. I just want a normal, loving family. That's all I've ever wanted but I know t... View more

My parents have been abusive my whole life and I developed ptsd from that. I can't deal anymore. Traumatic things keep happening one after another and I keep getting worse. I just want a normal, loving family. That's all I've ever wanted but I know that's not something I can get. No amount of therapy or meds can fix that. There is no solution. And by family I mean parents and siblings. I'm so suicidal right now (have been for years). Uni just started and I already feel like deferring... Nothing makes me happy anymore btw (like hobbies and stuff) been like this for a while now. I'm on medication but even that doesn't help that much. Also I feel like I'm losing touch with reality.

Cyn2k12 Concerned and at a loss...
  • replies: 5

Hey Everyone, my apologies for this extremely long winded post as I’m currently at a loss as to what to do as and who to seek help from, as me and my husband have been married for 10 and a half years been together for over 11 years. We both have depr... View more

Hey Everyone, my apologies for this extremely long winded post as I’m currently at a loss as to what to do as and who to seek help from, as me and my husband have been married for 10 and a half years been together for over 11 years. We both have depression and anxiety. He suffers also from acute paranoia and has had epilepsy himself since his childhood. the problems that’s been going on for awhile now is that 6 years ago our marriage had some big issues and was in trouble, we did seek counseling, went through 3 counselors. The 3rd one really helped but the company couldn’t no longer allow the counselor to keep helping us. We’ve also had severe issues with our current neighbours who live above us and the previous neighbours who were violent towards me and has caused my husbands paranoia to flare up. My husband has also had psychological issues with his father who’s been abusive to him. one other thing is my husband has had bad relationships in the past that have all cheated on him. And because of the history with his ex’s it’s left him questioning every thing I do, or any one else who he knows. His paranoia has gotten so bad that he thinks his own friends are going to hit on me and that I will leave him. im now at a loss of how to help him, as he’s currently still seeing a psychologist, a psychiatrist and still is seeing his current doctor. Everything I say or do seems to be going through one ear and out the other no matter how much I try to comfort him, he’s also saying he’s given up on his life. I’m at breaking point and our daughter is noticing it too.