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Confused at my thoughts

Butterfly100m
Community Member

Hi,
I am new to these forums and just wanted to ask a question which has been troubling me.

Some background:
I am 17 and currently feeling pretty lonely, lost and not like me. I started uni this year and haven’t adjusted very well. I do most of uni online because it takes me three hours to get there and back, which has made the experience very lonely. My main social interaction is with my sporting club, but because of my mental health I haven’t been able to train and perform consistently to the standard I want to be at.

I am currently in exam week and am finding it hard to get the energy to study. This is making me more worried, because I am not getting the appropriate preparation completed for my exams.

To get to the point of the post:
For the past couple of months I have been having thoughts and visual images about hurting myself, which I feel are increasing in frequency. Sometimes when I am really down, it is like a mantra going on in my head. I know that I wouldn’t actually act on these thoughts because there are things that I still want to achieve in my life, but it scares me that the thoughts are still there. What I mean to ask, is there actually something wrong, or am I still “just fine” because I know I will not act on these thoughts? I don't want to ask for help if there isn't actually anything wrong going on and I am just over reacting. I have tried talking to my parents but they just dismissed these thoughts because nothing serious has happened to me.

As a side note, I just wanted to mention that I am safe.

2 Replies 2

Sophie_M
Moderator
Moderator

Hey Butterfly100m,

Thanks for reaching out tonight and we really appreciate you letting us know you're safe. 

We can hear that you feel something is not right and that you don't feel as you should be. To us, this sounds like a good indicator that something might not be fine and to reach out for support. We're very sorry to hear how lonely your university experience has been so far. Are there any online social clubs or groups associated with your university? Being able to connect with others in your class can be so helpful and motivating.

We think it might be helpful for you to get in touch with Kids Helpline - https://kidshelpline.com.au/. It sounds like you're in a really tough situation and it might help to talk it out whenever you're feeling overwhelmed. Kids Helpline counsellors can be contacted 24/7 via telephone and also via webchat if you go through the website provided.

Thanks again for reaching out as we know that it can be really tough to do this for the first time. We hope that you find some comfort here in the words of wisdom and kindness that our community can offer. 

Hi Sophie_M,

Firstly, thank you for responding. It's nice to feel like my thoughts have been acknowledged and someone has listened.

I know that there are clubs at my university, but I haven't found the courage to join any. Another factor is that my sport takes up five mornings and four afternoons, so between this and study I have neglected trying to connect at uni. I am not sure if any clubs are online, but I will look into this.