Self-harm thoughts and urges

[brerry]

Hi all,

I have been trying really hard to get past this but I cannot seem to shake the thought and urge to harm myself. I stop doing it one way and it manifests itself in another way and I'm starting to get tired of it and feel like giving up. I get scared thinking of where I might end up if something doesn't change soon but I can't see a way out of this headspace I am in.

Recently, it has been getting to the point where I start to think about suicide nearly every day. It isn't that I want to die and the thought really scares me but I honestly wouldn't be mad if I died. Is this normal? I think I might be going crazy. These thoughts used to be fleeting but now I am thinking out it more and thinking about how and where I would do it. I think about if I want to do to kill me or just to hurt me badly enough so that I can go into hospital so that my life can slow down for a while.

I just want everything to stop. I have never done this (when I mean this I mean posting about these thoughts online) before so I don't really know what to expect

[Sophie_M]

Hey brerry,

It takes a lot of courage to be so open and honest with your feelings, and we are so glad that you have reached out here tonight. We're so sorry to hear that you've been struggling with these intense thoughts, and urges to harm yourself, but please know that you're never alone in this, and many others reading will also be able to relate to feeling this way during moments in their lives too. It sounds like it must be such a difficult headspace to be in, but we can see that you are an incredibly strong person in taking such an important step in finding support here. We hope that you can find some comfort here in this safe space, and our caring community are here to offer their support and advice to you through this difficult time. We also just wanted to let you know that we are also checking in with you privately through email with some extra support.

We'd really encourage you to keep showing your strength, and reach out to our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467), who are available to you at anytime, night or day, during overwhelming moments like these. Being able to talk these thoughts and feelings through with an understanding voice at the other end of the phone can be incredibly powerful, helpful in getting more immediate support and advice whenever things are feeling like too much to cope with.

You are not alone here, and we hope that you keep us updated on how you're going whenever you feel ready. Our community would love to help you in your journey.
 

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi brerry,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for deciding to join. I'm really glad that you reached out to share what's been happening and I can reassure you that you are not crazy.

A lot of us struggle with suicidal thoughts at some point in our lives, although most tend to swish them away. Some have them linger, some intrude, and others tend to stick around. All of these things are okay. The idea of suicide can feel like a good option sometimes, because it seems like a way to end some of this pain, even if it's really not the best choice.

Is there someone that you've talked to about this, or be open to talking to? It can be hard to keep things bottled up and I hope you'll find that if you can start to share your load a little and get some help the idea of suicide won't be so intense.

Feel free to let us know how we can support you. We're here for you

rt

[Aaronsis]

Hi brerry

Firstly I want to reassure you that you are not crazy and nor are you going crazy. What you are is a person who is struggling at the moment and is brave and courageous enough to reach out, to say you need some support and to acknowledge that you need some help, that is not crazy.

Welcome here, you are cared for with our words and in knowing you are not alone, and that in fact you matter so very much, I am so proud you have found your way here to let un know that times are really tough for you.

Sophie_M has given you some great resources to help and I would like to remind you also that if you are in danger to please call 000 and have an ambulance come. I hear you so loud and clear that in fact you do want the pain to end and not your life.

I am wondering if there are some things you would like to chat about or to share, to get off your chest and to get some conversation around so that we can support you, only if you feel like it though.

I have also put this link here for you, it is a thread that I started where other people in this family have shared how they cope or distract when feeling like the are going to self harm or feeling like they cannot stop. I am not sure if this will be helpful to you but I will put this link here:

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/suicidal-thoughts-and-self-harm/instead-of-h...

I just wanted to mention too how much courage it does take to post on a forum and I am so proud of you for letting us support you today, and tomorrow and the next day and for however many days you need us. I am here for you brerry to sit with you and to listen.

Hugs

Sarah

[Mollygeorge11]

Hi. Thanks heaps for posting about how you're feeling. Reading your post...well let's just say that i can relate and you're not alone. It gets overwhelming trying to push the suicidal thoughts back from the front of your mind. They seem to sneak up on us when things are really crappy.

You're not crazy.

You're not alone in this. And you have reached out, which is soooi brave, so give yourself some credit!!!

I hope this feeling passes for you soon. Yesterday I ate 2 litres of my favourite icecream, straight from the container with a spoon and it was awesome!!! Sure, not healthy, but it picked my mood up!!!!😁😁(and i didn't have to cook dinner lol) whatever works!!!

Do you have a pet? Netflix? Anything that might distract you from self harm thoughts? (I need ideas too)

Hope you're ok and that i hear back from you.

Mollygeorge11