Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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BeyondBlue Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm Section
  • replies: 0

Hi there, Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm section of the Beyond Blue Forums. Life gets pretty hard sometimes, and many people here on the Forums have had times where they have thought about harming themselves or ending their life. This can be a ... View more

Hi there, Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm section of the Beyond Blue Forums. Life gets pretty hard sometimes, and many people here on the Forums have had times where they have thought about harming themselves or ending their life. This can be a deeply distressing experience, and this section is here to support members who have had these experiences. This section is not a crisis support service. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these Forums. Please call: Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 (24/7) Lifeline on 13 11 14 (24/7) If it is an emergency, contact emergency services on 000. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for support and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of the Forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. If after a period of time you no longer wish others to engage in the discussion you have started, please use the 'Report Post' button and request the discussion be locked to prevent any further replies. Thank you for being here, we're glad you're here. Treat yourself gently as you read through this section. Beyond Blue

Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

All discussions

Malen Re: Depression - the beast arises
  • replies: 1

With my depression comes significant SI, its a mix of everything going on and its more escape fantasy but its been pretty bad with plans and means, the only thing stopping me is I dont want my sister to grow old alone. I mean thats a big part of why ... View more

With my depression comes significant SI, its a mix of everything going on and its more escape fantasy but its been pretty bad with plans and means, the only thing stopping me is I dont want my sister to grow old alone. I mean thats a big part of why but there is still some hope etc. So I am safe and not a threat to myself or others. One of the things feeding into my depression is the amount of pain Im in, its a lot, Im on pain patch, really stong pain meds and strong pain med for break through pain. Im on a ton of pain killers and Im still in pain and I cant really do much, most of my day is sitting in front of the tablet messing about, with plenty of appointments thrown in. Again I have no intentions and am quite safe, its more an observation than a desire

United101 Hello
  • replies: 1

Hi first time as broken and think about not being here all the time - abject repeat work failure and worth more dead than alive - bullied from job plus multi back surgeries so no future - want to die without hurting anyone as still have a few people ... View more

Hi first time as broken and think about not being here all the time - abject repeat work failure and worth more dead than alive - bullied from job plus multi back surgeries so no future - want to die without hurting anyone as still have a few people around who would notice - all else ready - no more tears or hurt - what do you do

M-i-a Mirage chasing
  • replies: 1

2 weeks fresh from a relationship breakdown, 10 years and 2 kids. For the past year the distance grew between us, I've been trying to understand and pleading. I feel like I been chasing a mirage of happiness, I've got nothing left sitting in my broth... View more

2 weeks fresh from a relationship breakdown, 10 years and 2 kids. For the past year the distance grew between us, I've been trying to understand and pleading. I feel like I been chasing a mirage of happiness, I've got nothing left sitting in my brothers spare room with 2 kids while she's partying down the Gold Coast. I don't know how to start over , I don't know how to get a roof over my kids heads so they have something of their own when they come and see me. The only time my mind isn't in overdrive is when I'm working or exercising, I have a car and a job. I'm so lonely, casual sex isn't helping. I just want my family back together but that's not going to happen. Doing therapy is just someone listening it seems, "move on , get hobbies meet new people " I'm an introvert and it makes me feel like ending it would be easier. Even writing this seems futile, I just want a branch to hold on to and there's none. I was a drug addict 17 years ago and I just want to take all the heroin I can and sleep... because waking up in the morning is like dying, shit.... going to bed every night is like dying. Do it for the kids... because that's all you've got.

Emma91 I need support
  • replies: 2

I've had depression since I was 16. It's gotten worse over the years from a few traumatic events and this week I'm really spiralling. In my mind I think I wish I was strong enough to kill myself but I don't know how to do it. I wish I could just be d... View more

I've had depression since I was 16. It's gotten worse over the years from a few traumatic events and this week I'm really spiralling. In my mind I think I wish I was strong enough to kill myself but I don't know how to do it. I wish I could just be done with it.

Miriamm Suicide Grief. Lost, disconnected
  • replies: 5

Dad has passed away by suicide. It's been 2 months now. Everyday is still hard. How do I keep getting up everyday? I'm lost in a deep, black, cold forest. I am so very tired. God, You didn't stop this! You didnt! I feel so numb, separate, disconnecte... View more

Dad has passed away by suicide. It's been 2 months now. Everyday is still hard. How do I keep getting up everyday? I'm lost in a deep, black, cold forest. I am so very tired. God, You didn't stop this! You didnt! I feel so numb, separate, disconnected from what was once a normal world. I'm not the same person anymore. Today, is Easter and I feel so far away. Easter used to be memories of family happiness. I just want to lie here and never get up again. At least, here on my bed, under the blankets, it's safe. No responsibilities. I don't have to get up today. Frozen here where it's calmer, quieter and soft. Today, I want to rest. How do I connect again to this world around me? Tomorrow will be another day.

DancerStar21 Feeling empty
  • replies: 7

At the moment in my life ive been feeling rlly empty. its not like i want to kill myself but i just feel like life would be better off without me. Ive started to eat less at school. Im not having breakfast recess or lunch and idk why. i honestly just... View more

At the moment in my life ive been feeling rlly empty. its not like i want to kill myself but i just feel like life would be better off without me. Ive started to eat less at school. Im not having breakfast recess or lunch and idk why. i honestly just feel rlly bad at the moment. i have a friend who i thought i used to know rlly well but it turns out i dont. he smokes weed and does other bad stuff and its not amazing but idk what to do. My parents hate me and i hate me. i just dont want to be here anymore

Apersonalan Involuntary Mental Ward
  • replies: 1

I went into hospital thinking I would have liver surgery, I had sleep deprivation, constipation and hemorrhoids, a bleeding liver for several days. They sent me to the mental ward. I was seeing things and hearing things not there temporarily and is c... View more

I went into hospital thinking I would have liver surgery, I had sleep deprivation, constipation and hemorrhoids, a bleeding liver for several days. They sent me to the mental ward. I was seeing things and hearing things not there temporarily and is common with sleep deprivation. They gave me medication without my knowledge I thought it would help then they gave me an injection which gave me a back blood clot for a while and some blurry vision but worst of all it gave me akathisia causing more sleep deprivation after I had it solved, still don't know about my liver but the blood stopped for now. When I went home finally my akathisia made me call 000 and for a bad back. After a gruelling trip they gave me medication then sent me back to the ward. I complained I couldn't sleep but they angrily told me to go back to bed right next to a troublemaker. In the ward the psychotic are tougher, they bully the quiet and even the traumatised there's no segregation. The Psychiatrist this time told he would give anti anxiety medication to help with my akathisia, when I went home and checked there was none. Another Doctor also said I had more white blood cells which could mean infection. First I rang up about the medication asking for it the second time about my white blood cell count. Shortly after a nurse from the Ward rings up saying I have to go back or she'll ring the police because I've been ringing up with too many problems. At tribunal they gave me the option to leave for good but with said demands or stay. I left because they always told me I could negotiate with the CTO that I could change the injection or even that I'm not Schizophrenic because I don't actually see things or hear voices. They didn't even look into it and on the 26th they will inject me with medication when my Akathisia hasn't healed fully. The withdrawal and even the injection itself has given me so many problems. I'm mostly house bound and bedridden at a time I was just fixing my agoraphobia and my life with actually ocd was getting good and with my family too now it's all reversed.

RainbowCaterpillar Mood swings
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone, I've been going through severe mood swings for years now. I get enraged, depressed and distressed so damn easily. Everywhere I look I see 'a way out'. When the urges to die hit I just end up self-harming. Now I'm covered in scars again. ... View more

Hi everyone, I've been going through severe mood swings for years now. I get enraged, depressed and distressed so damn easily. Everywhere I look I see 'a way out'. When the urges to die hit I just end up self-harming. Now I'm covered in scars again. My family don't accept me as a transgender man. I can't stand to live in this body anymore. I have no plans but the thoughts are so loud.

Matilda99 Don't want anything in life
  • replies: 3

I'm 24 and have finished my university degree which i forced myself to do out of fear of not having a career in the future. Now that I'm finished I'm really struggling to find a purpose in my life. I don't want to do anything. Nothing interest me. Ev... View more

I'm 24 and have finished my university degree which i forced myself to do out of fear of not having a career in the future. Now that I'm finished I'm really struggling to find a purpose in my life. I don't want to do anything. Nothing interest me. Every job i apply for, if i get an interview i choose to not go as i no longer want the job, feel incompetent or i just feel sad and hate myself so much that i think as soon as they meet me they will automatically decide that I'm not good enough. My parents look out for jobs in my degree area but I usually lie to them that i applied for that job and was unsuccessful rather than telling them the truth that i didn't apply. My parents have pressured me to get a casual job for the time being because they don't want me sitting alone at home not earning money. I have applied for a casual job and about to start training but i don't want it. A part of me not wanting a job is that i get extreme performance anxiety and have social anxiety that i think i'm not able to cope. I don't really know why I'm writing this I just get thoughts that the only way around this is that i need to end my life. I constantly day dream about death/suicide. I am safe and do not plan anything I'm just struggling with these thoughts.

marc25 My life
  • replies: 4

I’m so sad, lonely and feels giving up. Why this keep happening to me? I don’t have friends and I don’t have nothing. Please anyone explain why I have such a terrible life.

I’m so sad, lonely and feels giving up. Why this keep happening to me? I don’t have friends and I don’t have nothing. Please anyone explain why I have such a terrible life.