Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Borderline Personality Disorder and a medical/mental health system that keeps letting us down

replies: 2

My niece has BPD. She has been trying to get help since February. The first referral was lost....she waited 8 months to hear back from them. Yes, she tried call them during that time and there was no one in the office. Possibly due to Covid, she thought maybe they're not working at the moment. When she finally got through 8 months later, they had lost her referral. Actually, they said they never received it, which she knows isn't true, because she had discussed over the phone with her and said the psychiatrist had the information about it on his desk!! She then called another GP, got another referral to a different psyciatrist. They were going to get back to her. She's heard nothing for weeks. Two weeks ago she was taken to hospital by ambulance because she wanted to kill herself. The H.O.P.E. team (post suicide attempt assistance) are supposed to be helping her.....they're 'going' to call her back. What is it....they wait until she kills herself before they attempt to do anything. I really angry. She is suffering, her 3 young children are suffering and the rest of our family are suffering. What the hell is going on? In this day and age, with Beyond Blue and all the other mental health organisations we have, and people donating money left, right and centre to help with the fight against mental illness, what is going on. Not good enough. I could be wrong, but aren't the statistics saying the suicide rate is going up....not down.

Self loathing, trapped.

replies: 62

I just want to punish myself repeatedly. I do, not in usual ways I guess. But the urge is constant right now. I am so angry about stage four lockdowns. They feel so wrong and so pointless and so unfair. I feel trapped and like I’ve done something wrong and I’m just disgusted with every aspect of myself. So I purposely make myself feel ill, I refuse to take painkillers when I am feeling bad pain because I don’t deserve them, I have stopped taking supplements that help me, and I hurt myself. Its nothing that leaves a mark, nothing anyone can see, I’m much smarter than when I was younger. My normal coping mechanisms are all gone. My big, busy, distracting life has been taken away from me. Things have closed in around me. I can’t escape the thoughts, feelings, intrusions, nightmares, loneliness, slow time dragging... I hate this so much.

Victim of covert narcissist

replies: 1

i have been unwell. It was supposed to just a cold but i've been very ill. It was during that illness that i had a mind of revealation, the bubbie burst so to speak. My wife partner (de facto) of 40 years said something personal and cruel to me while i was sick. I was so shocked i broke free of the bubble i'd been living in for 40 years. How could anyone say something like that to someone so ill. But she is a EN enrolled nurse so it made it all the more hard to understand. but it's nothing new. i had a duodenal ulcer rupture many years back when i was about 40. we'd been to the beach. I thought i hurt my back. I laid on the floor, but as always she implied i was exaggerating. I never understood that. I was in a lot of pain. I was laying on the living room floor. She turned the tv and sat back to watch it, ignoring me. I realised how ill i was and asked for an ambulance . when i got out of hospital a week or two later i came home. She told me she was moving out today. We had a little girl together. They moved out and left me on my own. You can imagine how weak i was. It took a long time to recover. I lived off canned soup. there were also many times she went out and didn't come home. She felt she didn't have to explain. She gaslights me, I blamed myself. I was drawn into this hook line and sinker. I'd never heard the the term covert narcissist you have the picture now i'm sure. There's so much more as you could imagine. she turned all my friends against me over the years. i had no one. I was lost inside myself too. I believed i was worthless. i was to blame for her behaviour because i was worthless. im still not over the so called cold, rhinovirus. ive been back and forth to doctors and the hospital for a cracked rib. I'm so depleted. I haven't left my room for 5 weeks except to get something to eat. She's just sitting in the lounge watching tv. i am thinking i have the right to end my life at 70. Or i could move out on my own and rent a house somewhere. I feel terrible loneliness and sadness. Ive just never been good at living just for me. Renting a house on my own , living my remaining years on my own has always been my worst fear. i just came here to see what others might contribute, suggest, what other options are there. I can't afford a psychologist. I need a break from this horrid setting, but the only place i can think of is the nutters wars of the hospital.

Fed up

replies: 3

I've finally come to the conclusion that my time here should come to a finish. I no longer care what happens to me and my wish is to fade away. I have no energy or will any longer.

Rock bottom

replies: 2

I’ve hit rock bottom I’m a reactive depressive. Ie I only get depressed if something bad had happened. If it does I get so depressed I can’t get out of bed for 3-5 days until the depression lifts and the ageing process is really getting to me. I’m 65 and the ageing process is really bringing me down. I still feel young and look a lot younger than I am. But when I’m really badly depressed I simple don’t want to continue living. I have a wonderful home am financially secure. I have great friends. I also have a really rewarding profession that I am very grateful for. But when I am down none of this means anything

I think this is the wrong place?

replies: 3

I am really in need of some help, but I don’t think this is the place for it. I have tries several times to end my life, which I might add is not easy. It would seem these type of government help lines have been taken over and commercialised, press 1 for this 2 for that. Not what I need, I needed a voice not a machine. My family don’t talk to me, with I think is an attitude ok don’t make a mess. Why is it that so many people don’t want others to finish? My live is worth nothing, when I go, nothing will change, the world will not come to an end, in fact nobody will even know about It except the undertaker. So why not help people? Why do they wish to keep us here?

I’m so sad.

replies: 3

I’m so lonely inside. I just need a hug right now and I don’t have anyone. I just want my parents yet I’m an adult that has my own kids. Everyone thinks I’m fine. I’m not fine. I’m not ok. People ask if you’re ok but they don’t really care, they don’t ask twice, they don’t follow up. I get through things but it’s hard. And it’s a constant inside struggle of pretending. I’m not happy. The thought of not wanting to be here sometimes is so strong and overwhelming and just consumes me and pulls me down so hard into this horrible dark place that is so hard to get out of, yet I live this and somehow have two existences happening at the same time - and I function - and no one knows. It’s shameful and exhausting. I’m tired of crying and feeling not worthy. I’m smart. I’m clever, I know what to do in these situations, I’ve helped so many people “like me”. I can’t help myself, can’t take my own advice. God knows I try. I need help

Can’t work out if I want to sink or swim

replies: 3

Hello all my struggling fellow students of life I won’t ask if you doing well because we’re here lol I will hope you feel better or at leased make it through another day join last night instead of a sudden end worked out by reading posts I don’t real... View more

Shouldn't I be happy?

replies: 14

Hi, I'm a male in my early 50's, married with two teenage sons and reasonably well paying job but life just seems a never ending battle. I'm the only earner for the family and I'm paying two mortgages and we're always just scraping by. There's never any money for anything other than just getting by. I've ended up in a management position at work that I didn't ever really want but took anyway to have a bit more job security. At times I feel that the weight of the world is on my shoulders and I don't know how much longer I can keep going. I guess I do suffer from depression and sought help in the past. To be honest it didn't help. I sleep about 4 to 5 hours a night and went to my GP for help with this. Unfortunately his solution for any medical issue seems to be to prescribe pills which is what I got. They didn't help so his answer was to increase the dose that didn't help. I can't afford to go back to the GP so don't know where to turn for help. I've tried discussing how I feel with my wife and how our financial situation is killing me but she's not interested. Over winter I got to the point of almost ending my life so the pain would be over. I've told this to my wife and her reaction was simply unbelievable. She told me that people who commit suicide are just selfish cowards who leave everyone else behind to clean up the mess! She just doesn't have any idea of how depression works. I didn't put my hand up and say I want to feel so low, so worthless that taking my own life is the only way out. I've tried suggesting that we sell one of our properties so we're only paying one mortgage. She wouldn't even consider this as apparently I would just fritter the money away! Well, perhaps it might take some strain off me. So I really don't know what to do. I feel that I can't even provide properly for my family and feel bad if I were to ever even dream of having some sort of holiday or a hobby. There are a lot of people worse off than me so why shouldn't I be happy with what I've got? I sometimes harm myself I get so frustrated. The pain helps me carry on. In my 20's and 30's I flew hang gliders. I was really good at flying and it took away all my feelings of low self esteem. I gave up flying 20 years ago and I've bee trying to return to the sport the last 5 years now. I've no idea how though as in my situation it just seems a impossible dream. Maybe I am just selfish and should forget any idea of wanting to do something for ME? Thanks

A fruits Basket

replies: 2

Today I decided to see where this site will take me. I don't know where but I need to find someway to stop thinking about; self doubt, past traumatic experience's and fear of the future. I have anxiety in social gatherings and also I find it difficult to focus on the present. Thoughts to remove myself from existence has come and gone. and its usually just the 3 ways that I would do it. however I always feel too week/scared to attempt. rather than doing that I use/do certain things to make me feel better for the short instant moments. I don't use drugs and alcohol often. I rely on alcohol in social gatherings to remove any anxiety and drugs to enhance sexual pleasure I am a 32 year old homosexual male diagnosed with HIV Undetectable suffering from addiction of pornography, sex and masturbation. currently trying very hard not to continue to use drugs and alcohol again. and what I want in life...is to except who I am, like who I am, be confident in who I am, believe all those things and face my fears.... that's all I want. I may dwell on all these things but I have friends that are always by my side. without them I would be lost for sure.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Borderline Personality Disorder and a medical/mental health system that keeps letting us down replies: 2

Self loathing, trapped. replies: 62

Victim of covert narcissist replies: 1

Fed up replies: 3

Rock bottom replies: 2

I think this is the wrong place? replies: 3

I’m so sad. replies: 3

Can’t work out if I want to sink or swim replies: 3

Shouldn't I be happy? replies: 14

A fruits Basket replies: 2