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I can't exist in the world the way it is and It's getting worse

Community Member
I can't exist in the world the way it is and It's getting worse. I loved freedom and I live in a time where the government wants to ruin your life if you continue to smoke and doesn't know how to mind it's own business, I loved smoking and 3 years on I dream about it every night. I have PSD and I can't sleep without a baseball bat under my pillow which is illegal to do now. I have fibromyalgia as well. Australia feels like a overcrowded concentration camp to me. I have untreated pain that I can't bear. I don't think it's fair that I'm forced to live In a Country that disgusts me. Counselling can't help me anymore and everything I loved in the world is gone leaving me empty a feeling nothing but resentment. I need help to be put to rest.
5 Replies 5

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi lotsofsparks

I feel for you so very much as you face the challenges that come with such incredible stress and tension, both mentally and physically (the fibromyalgia).

I imagine you to be a naturally intelligent person. What I mean by this is...you question just about everything questionable in this world. This can definitely be overwhelming when it goes on for long periods of time, without any significant break or distraction. It, without a doubt, can lead us into a depression. Having lived in my own depression in the past for about 15 years, I now no longer face this ongoing challenge. The challenge that does remain ongoing is to not fall back in. It is a huge challenge for me at times, esp these days.

Waking up to the way the world is these days can definitely be potentially depressing. To be asleep, going with the insane flow, never questioning, believing there's nothing wrong, is in no way depressing. How can you be depressed regarding what you're completely oblivious to? In other words, ignorance is bliss. When you do 'wake up', when you look around and think 'What the...that is seriously messed up stuff; why is no one doing anything to change that?' it can even get angering. I do face the occasional day or 2 in a state of either sadness or anger or both. I do everything I can to manage my way out of this state because I know what will happen if I stay there. I manage my self, not the world. I know this may sound ridiculous but I often manage through wonder. Give me something fascinating to wonder about and you'll find me being gradually distracted from the angering insanity of this world. An example:

If you said to me 'What are the biological and chemical reasons for fibromyalgia?', I'd wonder, which would lead me to research. If you then said to me 'What are the natural reasons behind fibromyalgia?' that would seriously get me interested. I would wonder and research things like chemical influence such as environment, what's going into the body, why the body's producing the chemistry it is. I would wonder about extreme stress/tension and possible overwhelming exhaustion that could in some ways be linked to anxiety or long held anger (is the body being overworked as a result of the way the brain is ticking, interaction with the nervous system)? It is said that if we are in a state of dis-ease, when this becomes great enough the body will be impacted, showing signs. A long held belief in traditional medicine.

Do you ever spend time in wonder?


Community Member


I feel for you and hear what you are saying, you are not alone as I have similar thoughts and am sure there are multitudes feeling the same.

There is plenty of support here so keep posting.

I live alone with very limited support and it gets me down but I can’t give up and keep on truckin so to say. I do my required physio exercises daily and walking, once outside if it’s a sunny day it’s lovely to feel the warmth and nature around me. Sometimes a friendly walker passes me and says “hello”, it at times puts a spring in my step.

I guess you are receiving treatment for your fibromyalgia?

I am seeing neurologist for my physical nerve pain but my pain has eased thanks to Physiotherapy.

Take care, it’s a mad mad world and though I am not religious, talking to whatever God you which to choose may help. Ask and you will receive.

Guy Wrench, psychologist on Youtube is great he talks about Emotional Health he has inspired me.

Community Member

Hi again


May I add that to my shame I taken up smoking cigarettes last October 2019 due to stress as in a toxic relationship and I have been struggling to give this very addictive habit up. I smoked only occasionally in my 20’s and hadn’t had a cigarette since then and now am 60. I understand now that smoking is addictive. I feel ashamed at my age to have taken up the habit I notice it’s when I get anxious or excited about something good that I crave a cig so I know it’s only emotional feelings that causes this craving so I need to work on relaxation but it is hard and I can’t afford it. Anyway I need help for this addiction.

Community Member
I know how you feel Spark's 😕 I'm not suicidal if you are, but I really hate this country though.. This feels like a nation full of Karens who want to rule so much of our lives, like how guns are so taboo here and I can't legally get them without so much red tape and still being unable to own "scary" ones. I have a passion for them and our society doesn't view differing people like me as human.

Community Member
On top of that, the Coronavirus regulations are terrible and I can't even trust almost any Australian because of almost our whole society supporting this!