Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Shouldn't I be happy?

replies: 14

Hi, I'm a male in my early 50's, married with two teenage sons and reasonably well paying job but life just seems a never ending battle. I'm the only earner for the family and I'm paying two mortgages and we're always just scraping by. There's never any money for anything other than just getting by. I've ended up in a management position at work that I didn't ever really want but took anyway to have a bit more job security. At times I feel that the weight of the world is on my shoulders and I don't know how much longer I can keep going. I guess I do suffer from depression and sought help in the past. To be honest it didn't help. I sleep about 4 to 5 hours a night and went to my GP for help with this. Unfortunately his solution for any medical issue seems to be to prescribe pills which is what I got. They didn't help so his answer was to increase the dose that didn't help. I can't afford to go back to the GP so don't know where to turn for help. I've tried discussing how I feel with my wife and how our financial situation is killing me but she's not interested. Over winter I got to the point of almost ending my life so the pain would be over. I've told this to my wife and her reaction was simply unbelievable. She told me that people who commit suicide are just selfish cowards who leave everyone else behind to clean up the mess! She just doesn't have any idea of how depression works. I didn't put my hand up and say I want to feel so low, so worthless that taking my own life is the only way out. I've tried suggesting that we sell one of our properties so we're only paying one mortgage. She wouldn't even consider this as apparently I would just fritter the money away! Well, perhaps it might take some strain off me. So I really don't know what to do. I feel that I can't even provide properly for my family and feel bad if I were to ever even dream of having some sort of holiday or a hobby. There are a lot of people worse off than me so why shouldn't I be happy with what I've got? I sometimes harm myself I get so frustrated. The pain helps me carry on. In my 20's and 30's I flew hang gliders. I was really good at flying and it took away all my feelings of low self esteem. I gave up flying 20 years ago and I've bee trying to return to the sport the last 5 years now. I've no idea how though as in my situation it just seems a impossible dream. Maybe I am just selfish and should forget any idea of wanting to do something for ME? Thanks

A fruits Basket

replies: 2

Today I decided to see where this site will take me. I don't know where but I need to find someway to stop thinking about; self doubt, past traumatic experience's and fear of the future. I have anxiety in social gatherings and also I find it difficult to focus on the present. Thoughts to remove myself from existence has come and gone. and its usually just the 3 ways that I would do it. however I always feel too week/scared to attempt. rather than doing that I use/do certain things to make me feel better for the short instant moments. I don't use drugs and alcohol often. I rely on alcohol in social gatherings to remove any anxiety and drugs to enhance sexual pleasure I am a 32 year old homosexual male diagnosed with HIV Undetectable suffering from addiction of pornography, sex and masturbation. currently trying very hard not to continue to use drugs and alcohol again. and what I want in life...is to except who I am, like who I am, be confident in who I am, believe all those things and face my fears.... that's all I want. I may dwell on all these things but I have friends that are always by my side. without them I would be lost for sure.

Chronic pain

replies: 4

Hi guys, I’ve recently been diagnosed with adjustment disorder due to ongoing psychological trauma since the age of 16, although I honestly though I had it all handled and was doing well, apparently that’s not the case. I’ve been suffering with intense shoulder pain (my muscles feel rock hard) which then causes neck pain and like a domino effect causes me to have headaches at the back of my head. My doctor had prescribed me muscle relaxers and anti inflammatories but they even done nothing. Last night I took myself to the ER because the pain got so bad, I was given endone and sent on my way (still in pain). I just don’t know where to go to from here? I’m seeing a psychologist for talk therapy but I can’t continue to suffer through the physical symptoms. Last night I kept having this reoccurring thought that if I couldn’t get rid of this pain I was going to kill myself. I know the sounds like a drastic measure but I can’t handle the pain. Had anyone dealt with chronic pain? How do you get doctors to take you seriously and stop pushing pills that don’t work? I’m at my wits end.

At a loss

replies: 3

Both my husband & I suffer from anxiety & depression. I love him very much and because of this I am always reluctant to truely voice how I am feeling as it will push him further in his downward spiral. I “must” be the strong one, the provider, the home maker. I can’t sleep, have lost my appetite, there is no joy and I no longer fear death and yet I must push this aside whilst I help my husband deal with his issues (for which we are finally getting assessment/help from. The “system”) I am at a loss as to what to do. I don’t know what can be done to help me as I cannot afford to take time off work as we need my income. I have cut myself off from friends over the years as I get anxiety about to committing to any interactions and so i have lost any potential support network. I don’t even know why I’m posting this. I suppose I’m putting it out there so I can try and stop the same words circling in my brain.

Work situation

replies: 3

Hi, I have been posting about my work situation. I have much more work than I can get through, and work up to 16 hours a day. I am exhausted. Had a helper at one stage but I was still in the same situation of having way too much work and I got annoyed at her work ethics and reacted to that, and it made the treatment I get at work much worse, I can tell people hate me. I am working the really long hours to try my best not to get fired, but the workload and hours I am doing make me want to die to get out of the torture. I have spoken to many people at work about the workload and will eventually get a small amount of help, but I don't think it is going to be much help and I don't think my situation is going to change. I have recently bought a house on my own and have a mortgage. Whilst I would like to change jobs and get myself out of this situation, I can't do it. I will never be able to find another job that will pay well enough to be able to keep my house, and all throughout my life, I just struggle to support myself. I am stupid and people hate me. It is very difficult for me to get a job and keep a roof over my head. I think I am in a lot of trouble and if I do choose to live through this, I may be facing homelessness and all kinds of horrible things. I have started making a plan to end it for a few weeks away as I don't want to live like this. If I could support myself everything would be fine, but I can't, I am stupid and unlikeable. I am still putting in some attempt to try to get through this, I have just registered online with am employment agency for people with a disability, and have started to look into franchises, although I don't think I would be able to get a franchise for quite some time as in August I had a first seizure and am now not allowed to drive until Feb next year. No one change my situation or make things better, but can I please have some virtual hugs?

I can't take it anymore

replies: 7

When does it end? I can't take it anymore.. I'm so over being depressed and feeling like shit all the time. The urges are so hard to fight these days, Ivr tried so hard but farout it just doesn't ease. When does it end? I can't handle it anymore.. View more

Breakdown

replies: 4

I am not completely suicidal, but I have had thoughts on wanting to die, and I think I’m struggling to cope. Yesterday I had a break down (was throwing stuff around, & screaming), and cut most of my hair off. I completely regret it now, and it’s made me more unhappy. I have a long history of stress & depression, and don’t feel like my head can handle anymore tension headaches.. already started to get tinnitus in my right ear. The doctor wants to put me on an SSRI for my anxiety & depression.. does anyone know if anti-depressants work, or do they have bad side effects? I reacted badly to one benzodiazepine, it made me more agitated. Today I have considered an alternative treatment, and apparently it worsens anxiety. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks

Lost and tired of not being able to stop worrying

replies: 34

I feel so lost and clueless. I’m halfway though a degree I’m not sure I want to do anymore for a career I’m not sure I’m suited for. I’ve talked to a career counsellor, program advisor and the people in charge of the different majors but I still feel as clueless as I was before. I’m failing my classes not because I can’t complete them but because I can’t get myself to do anything. I’ve been seeing the mental health nurses since last year and a psychologist since the end of last year. It feels like nothing has really been helping, which is mostly my fault. I stopped doing progressive muscle relaxation exercises after being really frustrated and unable to calm down. I know that its not the point of doing the exercises, but I can’t clear my mind enough to go through with them anymore. I only started walking again recently after stopping 2-3 months ago. I can’t get myself to change when everything feels pointless and meaningless. The psychologist says I need to just focus on living in the moment, but I can’t get myself to stop worrying about the future and jobs and careers and university and everything. I can’t figure out what to do, looking at future career pathways only stresses me out more and I can’t see myself being happy or enjoying or tolerating anything. I don’t know what to do and theres not much I can do about it without trying things but I can’t spend my whole life failing university courses over and over like im doing now. I can’t do anything right. I need to sleep earlier but I can’t stop worrying. I spend too much time in my room but there’s nowhere for me to go besides walking in the afternoon. There’s too much I need to be doing but im not doing anything. I don’t remember what worked and if medication did anything. I don’t think I can be happy with life. Getting to do what you want feels like a luxury that you need to work for but I don’t really want what I used to want anymore. I don’t get myself to do anything because it feels like the end result will be the same. I’m tired of regretting things. I’ll regret everything no matter what I do.

Low

replies: 5

Tonight I'm so lost. My husband and I separated in jul- still in the same house though. And honestly it's probably 100% my mental health that has caused that. I'm so scared that one day I'm not going to be able to fight anymore. I truly believe that my daughter will be better off without me. Truly. I don't want to mess her up and cause her the pain that my parents caused me. Even though she is my everything and biggest reason to stay here, she's also a reason I think I should go. And that scares me. I think if I prep for it enough I can ensure that she always feels loved and doesn't believe it's her fault and has an understanding of how hard I fought. But the thought of her heartbreak still stops me. But I'm so worried that one day that will be too strong. I don't know how to cope. I have a high pressure job that seems to be the only thing keeping me afloat. Without my job I have no self worth, it's the only time I feel somewhat competent in my life and I do important work. With a separation I don't know what the future looks like. I need to book in for supports but don't really know how to do that. I don't have the time and I know that sounds stupid, buy I really don't. I'm also really terrible at getting help when I need it. I struggle to make the call, really struggle. My husband used to help with this this obviously that's out now. I feel so guilte I had and vowed never to let happen. I feel like a failure and so much shame. Also knowing that it's my mental health that would have caused it. All me. I don't know how I'll even feel remotely ok anymore. I feel like I can count in my hands the number of times I've felt actual happiness in my life so have gotten used to just feeling ok, but I can't even see a way back to that. I feel so so so sad and empty. My thoughts of suicide have increased so much and I considered calling the ambulance or driving to hospital tonight. But I don't know what they would do. I've never ever been completely honest about the level of my suicide thoughts due to fear of repercussions. I'm also stuck in a year long cycle of self-harm. I don't know how to talk to anyone about it because I'm so embarrassed. It's the only thing I can do that helps me cope at the moment and sometimes I don't even realise I don't know how to get myself out of this. I'm too embarrassed to share woth anyone exactly how bad it is

I screwed up.

replies: 4

I singlehandedly messed up everything. I've lost almost all my friends. I made many horrible mistakes. I don't really know how to say anything or what, but I need to vent or talk about this to someone who I don't know, I broke up with my girlfriend because I cheated on her with her best friend basically and I regret everything, I'm feeling suicidal and.. I'm worried if i'll act on it..

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Shouldn't I be happy? replies: 14

A fruits Basket replies: 2

Chronic pain replies: 4

At a loss replies: 3

Work situation replies: 3

I can't take it anymore replies: 7

Breakdown replies: 4

Lost and tired of not being able to stop worrying replies: 34

Low replies: 5

I screwed up. replies: 4