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Sophie_M Money stress? You are not alone!
  • replies: 4

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we al... View more

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we all seem to be experiencing a greater amount of stress surrounding money than we have in the past. And it’s impacting our ability to show up fully for the things we love. It’s not uncommon for us to experience shame and fear around expressing our financial challenges; it can be hard and somewhat taboo to openly discuss money matters. However, we believe this conversation is incredibly important and beneficial to have. Like all challenges, ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’, so let’s help each other out. Of course, discussions about the economy and how to manage our money during inflation are a much larger (and frustrating!) conversation… but what we would really love to know is what your personal experience around money is. Are you feeling the pinch too? How is added financial pressure impacting your wellbeing? When was the last time things felt even slightly easier? And if you have struggled with money in the past but come out the other side, what suggestions do you have for others who might still be finding their feet? This is an opportunity to share openly and honestly about your experience in a judgement-free space. There are no wrong answers, and we encourage you to share all the things that you might be finding hard to express in your every day life. If you're interested - Beyond Blue also have a 'money and mental health' quiz to gauge a sense of how finances may be impacting your mental health and what to do next. Looking forward to your answers! Abundant hugs from yours truly, Sophie M.

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Neil_1 Common theme from some recent posts AND my thoughts on facing our demons
  • replies: 7

Hi all I've been thinking (oh great I hear you all wail - especially BB moderators as they will now have to wade through this before it gets sent) and you know it's not that bad a past-time - 'thinking', although it does tend to hurt after a while, b... View more

Hi all I've been thinking (oh great I hear you all wail - especially BB moderators as they will now have to wade through this before it gets sent) and you know it's not that bad a past-time - 'thinking', although it does tend to hurt after a while, but maybe that's just me. Stick with me people as this could be a worthwhile read (even if I do say so myself). Last week I visited my psychologist for my latest appointment. As always, I had written down a number of dot points on a page, but this time I didn't even get to open that and the hour flew by as they always do. She focussed a lot of the time on me confronting some of my 'balloons of depression'. At present we're steering clear of the major balloons (these are of the hot air variety that people ride in - they're "that" big) and we are focussing on the smaller ones that I have; the ones that my psych believes that I can address, beat and overcome. Her method is for me to meet these "head-on" and this is where I tie this in with a number of recent posters who have written saying that this is their method as well. (Holy batman Neil, is it only NOW that you're realising this is one of the main ways to combat our illness!!!) Maybe it is, maybe it's not. A while ago I was so close to going back to bed and if not sleeping, to lie there in a state of comatose - but I thought no, bugga it, I'll do a couple of things and I won't be dragged back to bed by my illness. So I've prepared some food and I've tidied up a couple of spread sheets that I have things to do on and then I've come here. After this I'm heading to the garden to do some tidying up out there. My psych was telling me that I've got to keep focussed on doing things. Example: It's been approximately 5 years since I last hosted a cards night at my home. I used to do that twice a year with a group of mates ranging from anywhere between 5-7 guys for cards, beers and little wagers to make it interesting and they were always a lot of fun. But I cannot do those anymore for fear, for nervousness, anxiety, stress of having people in my home. MATES! Can you believe it? So we broke it down and went through each aspect of holding one and at the end, I might be able to try for one again. "Might". At least we spoke about it. I wish there wasn't a word maximum cause I've got so much in my head that I want to get out and feel I haven't touched on so many things. Confronting your fears, your stressors, your anxieties - breaking them down for what it will really mean if we do that. And following on from that example, say if I did hold another evening like that - they'd come around, we'd have beers, cards, no doubt a little bit of banter about the footy and other mindless chatter (not that footy is mindless!!) and I'd wake up the next morning knowing that I had gotten through something like that. A little win. Or perhaps it was a big win. On the down side, she noticed within the first 5 minutes of our appointment that she said that "you're much worse at the moment aren't you?" I said, Yep, no doubt. I reckon I'm getting worse as I get older. My stressors are increasing, not only in number but also size and power. I don't know people, I did have a lot in my mind that I wanted to talk about, to share, but now I'm just feeling empty again. As I've said to so many newbies on here, that it really DOES take an effort to come on here and write - and write about yourself. I think it's so much easier to write back to "others" in their threads. I'm tired now - and it's not even midday yet! Thanx for listening (stupid Neil - it's a website, it's "Thanx for reading"!) Neil

Mares73 Pt 2:Holding onto what I'm losing"
  • replies: 29

Hi all if you read the thread called "Holding on to what I'm losing", you"ll know I've been in a desperate dark place where my thoughts felt completely out of control & I was slipping away. I finally got to see my own Pyschiatrist and her overarching... View more

Hi all if you read the thread called "Holding on to what I'm losing", you"ll know I've been in a desperate dark place where my thoughts felt completely out of control & I was slipping away. I finally got to see my own Pyschiatrist and her overarching statement that defined the session was "Mary you have gone as far as you can go with medication, it's time to confront yourself and your life-no medications are going to fix those two things". I cried & felt ripped at my core because I knew deep down it was so true. I was on lots of different types of medications for depression & over the 8 years I'd seen her I'd tried every single one. She then said the only way she ever believed I could achieve happiness was by confronting the painful experiences I had endured & to learn to live by slowly working through those things. She said I'd experienced so much trauma that my life was ruled by fear, avoidance & isolation. this meant no opportunity for any enjoyment, stimulation or happiness. She believed my role as mother to my family had simply transferred to that of my husband when I married & there were major issues in my marriage causing me unhappiness & low Selfesteem. She said to break down what she believed I'd need to do to improve my chance of experiencing a "life" rather than an "existence for others", the following needed addressing- 1) currently my Selfesteem was below "ground zero". I was isolated & ruled by fear 2)was so worn down by my isolation, unhappiness & no sense of self that I had reached the point where I had given up. I had lost hope, saw no future & existed for the kids. 3) given how low & fragile I am-I needed to tell my husband that for the next few weeks there may be limitations to what I do re housework, responsibilities as i needed to focus on getting some strength & also finding some enjoyment ie I would be making simple dinners & making sure each day I read a magazine, watched an enjoyable DVD, read a book etc-basically spent time doing something for myself 4) rather than go to hospital I was to discuss option of me going away by myself for a week, somewhere I could get a train to-about 3hrs away & to spend this week going for walks, starting my journal, reading, purpose to experience the feeling of being away by myself & learning how to use the time focused on me-no other responsibilities. 5)o write a daily list the aim being to create purpose & routine ie walk my son to school, do some work on my "Therapy Project" which is a Selfhelp project I've started with ideas and quotes, thoughts & feelings, cutout pictures, articles & worksheets etc, spend time on something I enjoy ie reading, start off with just one household chore apart from dinner-purpose being not to get overwhelmed by chores & to just do one ie washing or vacuuming each day-NOT BOTH, to try contact one of the few friends I have & just say hi with the purpose being to upkeep/maintain the few friendships I have.Thats just what a "plan" for the day could look like. 6)my pysch knows how much I miss the intellectual stimulation of working so she suggested that in time when my "Selfesteem is above ground zero", I start to look at "Volunteering Australia" & find something I would enjoy that also help with the development of my own identity. 7) perhaps next year I could work towards the goal of returning to work which she rightly believes I would thrive on, improve Selfesteem, independence, confidence etc. She also suggested I may wish to consider retraining which did excite me. 8)my biggest challenge is accepting my extremely low Selfesteem & the reasons why, accepting & challenging my avoidance behaviours & reasons why, accepting & challenging my lack of sense of self & acknowledging & changing the things in my life that have contributed to my depression. That is a a lot of work to do on myself. It means addressing issues around my abusive traumatic childhood, my role as a "mother" in my family, the abuse experienced by a Priest, the reasons for marrying the first person I met at 19,, the inequity in the marriage, my experience of being assaulted by a stranger, having PTSD, the suicide of my father & my husband getting acute leukemia. So I have a lot of work to do on myself. I've learnt to avoid things out of fear of being judged. I live with a lot of fear, self hate & whole range of insecurities. I'm a bit frightened & overwhelmed by what needs to happen for me to find a life I want to life. But I guess it's empowering as well -when I look beyond the fear it means things aren't all beyond my control. It means i have to work hard on confronting my fears, doubts & insecurities about myself. it means having a go at something rather than avoiding it. it means being out of my comfort zone. To participate in activities id usually avoid. But if shes right-it also means theres a tiny spark of hope. (Geoff I'd love your reply/own perspective) Lve Mares xxx

Chris D To Everyone
  • replies: 6

As i sit in my room listening to music on this Tuesday morning, i give myself time to sit and relax before my group sessions this afternoon. I have also being reading many of your posts to eachother. Things are going pretty well, although there is st... View more

As i sit in my room listening to music on this Tuesday morning, i give myself time to sit and relax before my group sessions this afternoon. I have also being reading many of your posts to eachother. Things are going pretty well, although there is still alot of work still to be worked through. At this very moment in time i think of all of you who are struggling with your mental illness both in silent and in voice. If i could have just one wish, that would be for everyone to get the help and support they deserve to help you all manage our respective mental illnesses and to live a life that we have all wished we could have. I understand things are tough and are a struggle at times but we just need to take it one day at a time or to break each day down into smaller segments e.g. hr by hr etc. STAND TALL, BE DEFIANT AND BE STRONG. Chris

Andrew1972 There is hope
  • replies: 2

Lost a family member to car accident Horrible skin rash and anxiety Changed my diet Reduced stress Started exercising And most dramatic Got off my antidepressant meds now my skin is awesome Slowly getting back my fight for life If I can do it you can... View more

Lost a family member to car accident Horrible skin rash and anxiety Changed my diet Reduced stress Started exercising And most dramatic Got off my antidepressant meds now my skin is awesome Slowly getting back my fight for life If I can do it you can too You are unique Be kind to yourself Smile Andrew

MelB2 Feeling hopeful
  • replies: 1

I just had to share this because I am feeling positive about it. I had my first session with a new therapist yesterday and it went really well. She understood me when I said Im not here to fix everyone else in my life, Im here to fix me and learn str... View more

I just had to share this because I am feeling positive about it. I had my first session with a new therapist yesterday and it went really well. She understood me when I said Im not here to fix everyone else in my life, Im here to fix me and learn strategies I can use to help me deal with the crap as it comes up. She asked me for some background for specifics like has there ever been violence in my home - as a child or an adult - and when I burst into tears I expected her to rub her hands with glee and say thats where all my problems have come from, but she didnt. We talked a bit about it but she understood where I was coming from. I have always lost interest in counselling when they start saying Id like to get your parents in for a session. I told her my parents are 70, they know they made mistakes and they acknowledge that and feel bad for it. What good it going over it again and making them feel worse for it than they already do?? She didnt push it and got straight to work on giving me some strategies that I can use to help me get through the tough times better. The number one thing that has stuck with me is she said "you know its ok to feel these emotions dont you?" Shes so right! If I feel sad or angry I always just want to push it away and not think about what it is that is making me sad or angry. I have to mention to that I got onto her through the Lifeworx program which my work has intiated. Basically my work is paying for my first 3 sessions - all confidential and doesnt have to be anything to do with problems at work. Im lucky that I work for a company that recognises the importance of good mental health and are being proactive and helping staff and in return hopefully reducing lost productivity due sick days. Im very glad I made the call and feeling hopeful that it is going to help me!

joey You know what's not fair?
  • replies: 10

So just a warning this post is a little confusing. Because I am saying two opposite things. Don't worry I confuse myself too. But here goes... I really feel that life is not fair. I have I no one in this world. I do everything myself. I have no suppo... View more

So just a warning this post is a little confusing. Because I am saying two opposite things. Don't worry I confuse myself too. But here goes... I really feel that life is not fair. I have I no one in this world. I do everything myself. I have no support (particularly financially). If I stop working I have no money and nowhere to live. So I have kept working. And because of this I have never been taken seriously. If you can cope there is no problem. So I cope. But then I feel angry that people don't know how hard life is for me. But I never told them. I never will told them and I won't ask for help. And so I realise the above is not true. It's all in mind mind. Because maybe I have been taken seriously. Maybe I can't cope with someone trying to help so I pretend to be ok. I hate you don't leave me. That quote sums me up. I hate you don't leave me. I need help, no I am ok. I want a break, but I need to keep working. I love you, but don't try and help me. Because I will never let you. I am too scared of losing you. And there we have it. It's very confusing. That what growing up where being able to survive by yourself was necessary. Where emotions are not ok and doing your work is important.

persis0 trying to get the hang of cyber chats a first go. staying well
  • replies: 1

I,m Pers and after 62 years and 5 close family members who live pretty well with mood disorders, I find I need some new listening ears. I KNOW the secret to happiness is to be loved by others. Be loving and creative when you can. My prescription for ... View more

I,m Pers and after 62 years and 5 close family members who live pretty well with mood disorders, I find I need some new listening ears. I KNOW the secret to happiness is to be loved by others. Be loving and creative when you can. My prescription for staying well, Strive to see good and become grateful within. Have faith in getting better. Many folks do. Look for the improvements and celebrate them! Get in touch with your creative side. Less screen time. Only good food focus. Our bodies show how we are on the inside. Do something kind to you each day. Do unsolicited kind acts to other's as much as possible. This brings emotional reward and builds confidence. Routine of 3 meal times brings ritual and harmony to our lives. Moods are only wil o' the whisps. Hope I can get to talk to some of you soon, as daily life is hard, hard to see your lover robbed long ago of his potential. Blessings from pers.

Guest_3712 AM I DEPRESSED OR INSANE ?
  • replies: 14

Hi friends, I haven't posted for a while but have been reading your posts and sending out my positive vibes to you all. I have been struggling for several weeks. Just when I think I have this thing figured out, BAM! another stumbling block. Lately I ... View more

Hi friends, I haven't posted for a while but have been reading your posts and sending out my positive vibes to you all. I have been struggling for several weeks. Just when I think I have this thing figured out, BAM! another stumbling block. Lately I have been asking myself, am I depressed or insane?? or both ? The reason I ask this is my symptoms are forever changing and I just wonder am I doing this to myself. I have had many very scary panic attacks over the years but would never really say I was an anxious person- depressed yes, not anxious. But over the last few weeks my anxiety has been through the roof. Shakes, pounding heart, nausea, sweats all of it. I am edgy moody and not nice. I am taking more meds to counter act these symptoms and / or drinking to calm down. What the ????? I thought I would look into the definition of INSANITY and came across some quotes that resounded with me and I thought I would share. From Albert Einstein- INSANITY - DOING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AND EXPECTING DIFFERENT RESULTS. ( well yea that's me alright) From Stephen Hawking - INTELLIGENCE IS THE ABILITY TO ADAPT TO CHANGE. ( so I'm not so smart either) From Buddha -- YOU CAN SEARCH THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE FOR SOMEONE WHO IS MORE DESERVING OF YOUR LOVE AND AFFECTION AND YOU WILL NOT FIND THAT PERSON. YOU YOURSELF AS MUCH AS ANYBODY DESERVE YOUR LOVE AND AFFECTION. ( love this) From Winston Churchill- IF YOU'RE GOING THROUGH HELL , KEEP GOING !!! I have to figure all these guys were pretty smart, so they probably know what they are talking about. So if I am summarising correctly I need to 1/ change my behaviours if I want different results 2/ BE smart enough to Adapt my lifestyle to these changes 3/ love myself as much as I love others in my life 4/ Keep going- don't give up even if my road at times is like hell on earth. WOW IS THAT ALL ? I should have this licked in no time! I am really tired though, I try and try again but it is always lurking behind me ready to pounce and destroy whatever momentum I have created. love to hear what others think re the insanity analogy Be kind to your self Stressless.

scorch Love Letters
  • replies: 8

Hi guys. I've been reading so many of your stories on this forum and I felt so moved I just had to start this thread. This post will go on for a while, but please read it. I hope it will be able to help you in some way. So many of us are hurting and ... View more

Hi guys. I've been reading so many of your stories on this forum and I felt so moved I just had to start this thread. This post will go on for a while, but please read it. I hope it will be able to help you in some way. So many of us are hurting and feel like there is no hope in the future. But the fact that you are here, on this forum, shows that you are strong. It shows that you want to fight to keep your head above the dark, cold sea that is depression and mental illness. I have been so inspired by the sheer willpower that so many of you have shown. When you reach out for help, you might see a weak arm grasping at nothing... but I see huge bulging biceps that are clawing you through the water toward light and land. You guys give me strength and hope and encouragement. I wish you could see how amazing you all are. And so because of that, I'd like to share with you something that I have done to help me see just how far I've come. When I start to feel like a failure, like nothing I do is good enough or right. When I feel ugly and weak and stupid, I stop and I read a letter. It is a letter I wrote to myself, a love letter of encouragement. I think we should all write a love letter to ourselves at least once in our lives. Strip back the lies that our minds push on us for a moment and really look at our lives honestly. Yes we have flaws, yes we have failed sometimes... but we are more than our failures! We are unique and beautiful, we have talents, we have hidden strengths, we are on a journey and not yet at the end. It's good to remember these things. We NEED to remember these things, and to be honest with ourselves enough to be able to see these things, not just our flaws. It can be such a trap, the lure of believing the negative and blowing it out of proportion, while we crush the positive aspects of our natures into a dark, hidden corner. I know it sounds crazy but sometimes it's easier to believe the bad in us than to face to good of us. Well, that's how it is for me anyway. So, I'll stop rattling on now but I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. Sometimes we need to be reminded that WE ARE ALLOWED TO LOVE OURSELVES. And the best reminder has to come from us. So I will share my love letter. I wrote this to myself last month. It’s a poem, although it doesn’t rhyme… but poems don’t always have to rhyme. It’s probably the most honest thing I have ever written and it is a big deal for me to share it. But I hope that by sharing it, maybe I can help you guy see the beauty and worth in yourselves too.

Chris D Hi All
  • replies: 2

Hi All, I have been reading some of your posts and replies to eachother and you are all supporting eachother really well. I am going well too. I had my first depression group session, mindfulness and have been going to the gym each morning. The food ... View more

Hi All, I have been reading some of your posts and replies to eachother and you are all supporting eachother really well. I am going well too. I had my first depression group session, mindfulness and have been going to the gym each morning. The food is really nice and delicious, the staff and other patients are all very welcoming. It is a really nice facility with generous size rooms. I would like to wish everyone all the best in your respective journey's. Take Care Chris