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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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lissyloo Being involved
  • replies: 3

Is anyone here involved with working with people that have anxiety or doing something to make a difference? Im not even in recovery quite yet but I feel this urge to just be a part of this field one day to help others with anxiety. Are there workshop... View more

Is anyone here involved with working with people that have anxiety or doing something to make a difference? Im not even in recovery quite yet but I feel this urge to just be a part of this field one day to help others with anxiety. Are there workshops or something that I can attend to help me get through recovery? Im determined to recover!

JCPIK After quiting medication"X"
  • replies: 6

Hi, I have a few questions about quiting anti-depressant. Maybe we can share some good and bad experience here. I was on medication"X" for 4.5 years. I worked effectively on me and helped me go through the hard time. I stopped taking it ONE MONTH ago... View more

Hi, I have a few questions about quiting anti-depressant. Maybe we can share some good and bad experience here. I was on medication"X" for 4.5 years. I worked effectively on me and helped me go through the hard time. I stopped taking it ONE MONTH ago, and successfully went through all the headache, "black outs" in my brain, dizziness, sickness etc. I am feeling physically well, but this few days, I start to feel anxious (the cold weather worsen my muscle tension) and depressed for no significant reason. I drank wine occasionally to relax. Last night I had a little more than usual, then today, I felt very depressed all day. An hour ago, I was too upset to talk. I cried when I tried to talk. And there was no reason... Has any of you had same experience like mine? Does anxiety and depression just bounce back temporarily after quiting medication? Is it totally normal? I will try to find the answer from any sources available. And I will keep everyone updated if I hear anything from professionals. Jess

cass1981au coping with years of depression A mother’s fight over the years with depression, facing my fears and opening up
  • replies: 1

I wasn’t one to share my feelings and for weeks I was writing this in my head, not that I’m a writer but I needed to get it all out, and when I did a felt like I was free, I posted this on face book to all my family and friends, the love and support ... View more

I wasn’t one to share my feelings and for weeks I was writing this in my head, not that I’m a writer but I needed to get it all out, and when I did a felt like I was free, I posted this on face book to all my family and friends, the love and support I got and stories they told me or going though something like I did at some point, I have to share it with the world too A mother’s fight over the years with depression, facing my fears and opening up can't remember when I was truly happy with me, I think it would have been about the age of 21 was truly happy, fit, healthy just loving life and everything about it, It all became a blur, crying one moment, yelling the next, not able to sleep then get up in the morning nearly impossible I became one of the many that get a mental illness I lost control having depression, one day it all just got to much, trying to cope with everything nothing going right, i sat on the floor and just cried for hours, my children didn't know what to do but hug me, I kept it from my husband, but he new there was something not right, I kept it from my friends they didn't know how I felt or so I thought I was lying not just to myself but to the world, the friendly out going girl that was full of confidence that everybody know and loved was just me covering up a side of depression and anxiety, that was taking over me this had to stop and stop now I think It really begun at the age of 14 being teased horribly by some girls at my school, to the point I left the school, but didn't know I was depressed back then, after meeting my birth mother at the age of 16, I got a little more depressed not knowing where I fit in and who I really was, I knew I was adopted but I think I really didn't know at the time how I'd feel or how I would react to meeting her Then my best friend passed away 5 days before I had my first child But wasn't till I had my first child I was diagnosed with depression for the first time at the age of 23 I couldn't believe it, after 4 months of my daughter not sleeping more then an hour at a time day or night I lost the plot, we went to sleep school with her for help & i was put on meds by the doctor to cope with my life, was on them about a year looking back now I should have stay on them because I relapsed twice back into depression & anxiety, At 24 I had a miscarriage but really didn’t morn or anything because it was 2 weeks till I was getting married I will have to say I married the sweetest supportive man ever was the happiest day I can remember within this fight of depression second time I was 25 was after my son was born, sleep deprivation & anxiety of being stuck in a my little world at home with two children got to me, my body really got to me also this time after having a 4.6kg baby that left me with excess skin and couldn't get rid of the baby fat and didn't see the signs & fell into depression again, everything was going great with my life when I broke down again, this year, missing family and friends, and wanting to see them more, wanting move home so badly to Melbourne, body image, asking myself questions what I wanted to do with my life, what did the future hold and why I couldn't cope and do it all, I’m a mother this is my job, i closed myself off, i was safe in my little world, I now know I'm not that woman and you can't do it all but this time was different I saw the signs and found help, It's more a mid life crisis this time, being 31 now I'm still fighting it, day by day!!! still have anxiety, hard not to with four full on kids, I look at life differently now days, I don't like my body, but I can change that, i can see my family & friends, I can have some time off and the world wont fall apart it wasn't easy to share my feeling as i have always run from my emotions and shut them away it was easier to do that I know now life could have been easier it I talked about them out loud, I’m a Survivor, stronger then I have been in years, just letting this all out I feel free This has helped me with the healing process don’t get me wrong I have a long way still to go but a weight has been lifted, small steps, but it helped me, Ask for help, everyone's can change there way on their thinking, doing things they are really passionate about, eat right, exercise and always ask for help, I closed some door pushed people away but we cant have regrets, and cant go back, as much as I would love to some days, I’m looking forward to what my future holds, first time in years, there is always someone with a story and everyone's is different, open your ears, eyes, arms and your hearts, someone needs you and won't know how to ask for help! I’m a busy mother of four, a photographer and writing my first cookbook, I was trying to do to much all the time and ended up in a big mess, Ask for help

vip Depression and Suicide
  • replies: 1

II have been a depression sufferer since I was 17. It worsened after the birth of my son. 3 years ago I attempted suicide but fractured my pelvis, heel bone, hip bone, . I survived am still walking after surgery . I recently have come off my medicati... View more

II have been a depression sufferer since I was 17. It worsened after the birth of my son. 3 years ago I attempted suicide but fractured my pelvis, heel bone, hip bone, . I survived am still walking after surgery . I recently have come off my medication and put back my life together very slowly. It was the worst thing that happened to me in my life. Feelings of shame and guilt are the biggest emotions to deal with and the fact that everyone found out what happened. I was a very quiet shy reserved person who was too proud to ask for help when everything was troubling me I made out that I was fine. It has taken me 3 years to talk about this on these forums. I exercise regularly eat healthy and keep active with good friends who have stuck by me and family, meditate ect. I have started a small candle business with my friend and will fundraise these for beyond blue. Depression in my eyes is the cruelest, sad lonely hidden disease and thank goodness for beyond blue help people speak more openly about it. I have amazingly been able to help a few of my friends or people around me who have had depression and recently have helped a friend of a friend who is a mother that harmed herself. I look at it this way depression has taught me to be a more stronger posative person if I survived and came out at the end I know now I can accomplish anything. God gave me 1 life and a second chance I will prove to myself that I can accomplish anything now.

Rose1920 Talking to a loved one can help
  • replies: 1

I've been like this for as long as I can remember. I grew up with abuse and divorce , my dad leaving us and making a new family, and an over powering mother who's idea of parenting was that similar to how a warden treats a prisoner. I always thought ... View more

I've been like this for as long as I can remember. I grew up with abuse and divorce , my dad leaving us and making a new family, and an over powering mother who's idea of parenting was that similar to how a warden treats a prisoner. I always thought that considering all the things ive been through that I was fairly normal. Never felt like I was depressed. But there was always something different about me and I just thought everybody was like that. It wasn't until two years ago that I realised I had anxiety. I get frequent panic attacks, tight chest. Pains in the chest, shaking and all the symptoms you could think of. I'm scared of everything. I have a very small comfort zone so when I'm outside of that I get scared. Simple things as going to the hairdresser I get anxious. I have a big fear of death. And when I walk down the street I'm scared that everything will kill me. A tree will fall on my head or a car will crash into me. The "bogey monster still lives under my bed": that's how bad i am. I have had my boyfriend for 3 years now and I can tell you that his support has been phenomenal. There are times where I push him away during my anxious times but he sticks by me. Since having him and someone to talk to my symptoms have lowered. I have less panic attacks, and I'm not as afraid as I was. I still have a lot of work to do. He is the only person that knows of my anxiety and I'm worried I've put too much pressure on him. I fear of telling people as I have always been the "happy" girl and I don't want people to think of me as anything else. I want our relationship to work so that is my motivation to get this anxiety the hell out of my system so I can live a fear free ,panic free ,full life. Sorry it's so long but my objective of this was to express my life with anxiety and to show that talking to a loved one can impact very positively on your battle

Mark_098 Isn't it funny...
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Isn't it funny, when life's little annoying things have a habit of turning out just the way you want? I just got a new job after 3 months of bugger all work and now I couldn't be happier. All I can say is it's about bl#%$y time. two years from now, T... View more

Isn't it funny, when life's little annoying things have a habit of turning out just the way you want? I just got a new job after 3 months of bugger all work and now I couldn't be happier. All I can say is it's about bl#%$y time. two years from now, Tasmania here I come.

Sheiknah Hope
  • replies: 2

I heard this song on the radio today driving home from an appointment and it really spoke to me and brought me hope. I had just had an appointment with someone that was going to help me work through the issues that have brought me down. I really felt... View more

I heard this song on the radio today driving home from an appointment and it really spoke to me and brought me hope. I had just had an appointment with someone that was going to help me work through the issues that have brought me down. I really felt God speak to me through it. Weather you believe in God or not I am sure and hope this brings you hope too. A few words of the song need to be tweaked but you get the message !! Please cut and paste the link below. May we all break free of the chains . . with love . . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JV53NoB5cg

mandyjk esteem game
  • replies: 8

Hi my name is mandy and i have a challenge for anyone interested. My game starts with using the alphabet - A,B,C etc. put in place the sentence I AM ___________ and using the first letter A think of as many possible positive words to describe yoursel... View more

Hi my name is mandy and i have a challenge for anyone interested. My game starts with using the alphabet - A,B,C etc. put in place the sentence I AM ___________ and using the first letter A think of as many possible positive words to describe yourself. eg. I am Amazing. I am angelic. I am articulate. Then move on to the letter B. eg I am Beautiful. I am Brave etc. I can guarantee that you will have a smile on your face fairly quickly particularly if you use positive words and say them with enthusiasm. You can joke around with funny words but the most impact will be felt from positive words.I challenge you to try the positive words first and if you dont think they work see how you feel after using negative ones. More than likely not very good. So please stay with positive words and you can play any time of the day or night, standing or sitting. Have fun, keep smiling and shining.

Night_Blakey What do you say to a friend?
  • replies: 5

Hello, I'm new so please bear with me. Recently a friend of mine attempted to end his own life. You see he has been down for a while, and we'd talked him into seeing a psychologist. Unfortunately he'd been too uncomfortable to talk to his psychologis... View more

Hello, I'm new so please bear with me. Recently a friend of mine attempted to end his own life. You see he has been down for a while, and we'd talked him into seeing a psychologist. Unfortunately he'd been too uncomfortable to talk to his psychologist about these issues and kept it hidden. So we are going to go see him in hospital tomorrow and I don't really know what to say to him. I was wondering if anyone had a similar experience or advice to give.

Dennis38 A little long but hope this helps someone
  • replies: 7

Like a lot of people here I have good days and I have some really dark days, since this is the very first post I have made on this forum I will share a little about myself. At the age of 24 my life became a living hell, on January 4th 2000 I was walk... View more

Like a lot of people here I have good days and I have some really dark days, since this is the very first post I have made on this forum I will share a little about myself. At the age of 24 my life became a living hell, on January 4th 2000 I was walking home due to my car blowing its fly wheel, when this happened the engine revved rather high since basically the car was dropped into neutral and my foot was on the floor-this is kind of important information for better understanding of me- so I parked the car at the side of a busy interstate and started to walk home, was raining a bit and it was cold, long story short I was ten miles from my home when some lady was doing about 104 km (or 65 mph which ever you prefer) on a wet road that you shouldn't even be doing 60km (40 mph) on she lost control of her car and ran me over. Now do keep in mind this was in the USA where this happened. She said I saw her and tried to run out of the way, personally I don't even remember seeing her coming just remember passing a factory I use to work at and then waking up in more pain than I ever thought humanly possible. Come to find out my left leg was shattered in 12 places, my right knee blown totally out, had a broke left shoulder blade that the doctors missed, as they said they had more life threaten injuries to deal with then a little broken shoulder, bruised lung and kidney. I was in the hospital for two and half weeks, I remember about four days if that. Then stuck in bed for three months only able to get up and move around via wheel chair and that was only for a few minutes if I was lucky. And I found that I was truly once again dependent on my parents and my little sister. I lost a lot of things in that accident that I still haven't been able to get back and it's been 13 years now. I had to learn to walk again which took me 8 months when the doctors said it would be at least a year and half before I would be out of the wheel chair permanently. My job fired me three days after my accident quoting that I could no longer physically do my job. All of my so called friends just disappeared after the accident. All I got out of the settlement was just a little over 14k with over 250k in hospital bills all in my name. The lady that hit me walked way scot free not even a speeding ticket. Heck I never even got a card or anything from her to even say "oops sorry for turning you into a hood ornament." My own mother stole a lot of my disability checks while I was in so much pain I couldn't see straight, you see I went from two and half weeks of a pain killer in the hospital to only a week's worth of the medication when I got home. Because the doctors didn't want me to get hooked on anything. So I had to rely on over the counter pain killers and developed a much higher pain threshold. I went into a very dark hole after that car accident and stayed there a long time as well, when people say well once you hit bottom the only place to go is up, they are wrong I set up an oil drill and started drilling even deeper. After about a year and half after the accident I was up and walking again on two crutches and had no choice but to re-educate myself because I could no longer work in a factory like I use to. My mother cleared my bank account out without me knowing it, I was still sore a lot and not thinking straight and simply thought I had misplaced my check book, come to find out my mother stole my check book wrote 5 checks that cleared my account out of the last 900 dollars I had, I found this out when I wrote a 900 dollar check to the tech school I was attending and the check bounced though the roof. I was nearly thrown in jail over this later on because in Georgia you do not write bad checks that's almost worse than killing someone in that part of the country. After everything that had happened to me I was still in a very very dark hole, I always joke that my life at that time had become either a badly written soap opera or a great number one country western song, all that was missing was for my dog to bite me then die. The only reason that I did not kill myself during those dark times was my sense of humour. I have a dark sense of humour and it has saved me more times than I can count. For a while I thought I was doing ok until one day I snapped. I was in my dad's car and had gone to the movies, I had a really bad case of cabin fear that day and just had to get out of the house even though I knew that there was something wrong in my head on that day. Well on the way home I had a break down and for the very first time I gave suicide a true thought, the ONLY two things that stopped me was the thought of what my girlfriend would think, you see I meet my now wife over the internet and we had hit it off pretty good heck the very first time we were going to talk was the day of my car accident, you see she was in Australia and I was in the states so we had never actually met. On that day when I got home that was when I realized that I was not handling things as well as I thought I was, it was the first time I was truly scared of myself. So I called the mental health centre in Georgia and the lady I got was really helpful and pointed me in the right direction of getting some professional help. Now for some reason there is a huge stigma of a guy going to get help, I mean at an early age we are taught not to cry, not to show emotions only girls do that. Mind you a good chunk of my child hood is missing thanks to long term and short term memory problems. The councillor that I finally chose really helped me out, I went on medication for about 6 to 8 months before I pulled myself off it, basically while I was on medication you could have beat me, and robbed me and I would have just shrugged my shoulders and said oh well. The medication gave me the middle ground that I needed before I was on it my moods would swing super high or super low and there were never days of just middle ground. But I got tired of not feeling. There is no shame in taking medication to give you that middle ground that we all need. I have found out that though this accident there are good things and bad things, the good things are that A: I got to fly out and meet my girlfriend for the very first time thanks to what little settlement money I had left after my lawyer and family took off me, mind you I did fly out on 9-11 my plane was one of the last ones to leave the states at the time. I now hold two higher degree's of education a BS in computer networking a Masters of Information systems and I am now going after an MBA with a concentration in marketing, which none of this would have been possible without being run over as I would not have had the time nor the money to go and meet my future wife, we are now going on 5 years, and I made to much money to get any kind of student loan. I have good days and bad days still, if I hear an engine revving it will make my hair stand on end and I will have to fight myself so that I do not curl into a ball, wet myself and suck my thumb! I still have days that for no reason I am really nervous or highly anxious. But on those days I know what will trigger me and I even warn my wife that I am "flighty" it's the best way I can describe it to her. So when I am in a "flighty" mood I try to avoid my triggers, which basically is anything that can make me laugh or cry. I try and keep myself on some kind of middle ground, doesn't always work but at least I know its coming. Some times that half the battle simply knowing that you are going to tail spin, because just maybe you can control how fast you spin, you may not be able to stop it but you can slow it down and control the size of crater you leave behind. I mean even writing this makes me feel a bit depressed but some things that do help is to look back and see the good that has come into your life, even though it might be a small thing that small thing is all that takes to help lift you up a little. The one thing I will remember to my dying day is how a simple smile, I know corny, pulled me up a little. I was laying in the hospital bed, in more pain than I thought I could stand, as the pain killers were not doing a dang thing to ease the pain off as they had worn off and the doctors only had me on a small amount of pain medication every four hours, the pain medication would last in my system for maybe a half hour if I was lucky then I had three and half hours of pure hell to endure. But one of the twenty doctors that had put me back together came in with a bunch of orderlies to show them what a great job they had done. I was at the lowest point in my life, when I looked up at her and saw her smile down at me it's hard to explain but that one smile was like, yeah I know you are hurting but someone still cares. I am still fighting the depression and the anxiety and get very jumpy when having to try and go out and find a job, kind of waiting for the other boot to fall kind of thing, it's a little dumb I know but it's the way my brain works and it's just wondering what horrible thing will happen next. For the most part I am fighting those feelings and looking for a job, I mean 13 years without a job really sucks. Thankfully my wife is standing beside me though I cannot show her everything that is going on as she cannot handle it and will break down beside me. After all she says I am her rock and no one wants to know their rock is on faulty ground. But she does support me and tells me not to say that I am being stupid as some of it I can't control. Never let yourself feel that you are alone, you can find people that will sit back and listen and the beautiful thing about getting professional help is you do not have to worry about them "judging you"! I mean they are perfect strangers and so what if they do judge you, you only have to see them when you need to and it's not like you will be running into them every day of your life. The best advice I can give is learn about yourself, find what your triggers are because even when we have a "good day" we know that monster is in us waiting to drag us down, so on the days you feel yourself sliding try and avoid your triggers, or find a trigger that you know might help slow your slide a bit, if that is painting, reading a book, losing yourself in a video game for an hour or so, than do that. But whatever you do, don't just sit there doing nothing it's up to each of us to fight that demon, but remember we can't do it alone sometimes so even if it's just talking on this forum get on the forum and talk you will find someone that understands and won't tell you "well it could be worse" because we all know we do NOT want to think about how it could be worse!! And if anyone has any idea how to get yourself motivated please let me know as that is one of the greatest things I am still fighting with is how to get myself motivated to simply go back out into the world. Because I know I am using my education as a barrier or a buffer, some days it gives me an "excuse" not to go out and fill out a job application kind of thing. Hell fire I am still having days where I can't even get myself out the front door without fighting myself. But I still keep moving forward or at least I am trying to.