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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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SeanA Getting Through Dark Days
  • replies: 2

I'm looking at the diary of the darkest period in my life. Page after page of negative thoughts, complaints and aggression. As the months have turned into years since these dark days, I look back at this time and it seems like a dream. I remember the... View more

I'm looking at the diary of the darkest period in my life. Page after page of negative thoughts, complaints and aggression. As the months have turned into years since these dark days, I look back at this time and it seems like a dream. I remember the feelings ... but that is about all. They are just a memory. A friend reached out to me recently and asked how I got through this time. You see, it's his turn now. He is struggling. This article is my effort to shine some light where there is none. To make sure others can follow advice that worked for me. But when it comes down to it, my Mother gave me the best advice. "Put one foot in front of the other," she said. Smart lady. Logic Through counselling, I looked at emotions from a logical point of view. I was asked to imagine that I firstly was a lawyer fighting for my opinion. Why I was right. Then I would list the reasons why I was entitled to feel that way. Then I would be the defence lawyer arguing why my assumptions were incorrect. Why I was not entitled to feel that way. Writing a journal. Writing a journal of your thoughts and feelings does two things. Firstly it allows you to get intrusive thoughts off your chest and onto paper. These thoughts often happen at inappropriate times. For example, when you are trying to sleep at night. I looked back at the diary of my worst days and looked at the times I wrote many of my posts. 2, 3, 4 and 5 AM in the morning. Putting these thoughts down on paper allowed me to go back to sleep. Even if I was only to wake up an hour later I would still write down what I was thinking. The second reason is that in the light of day, you look back at what you have written and can balance your emotions better. You realise that feelings are transitory. They rise and fall sometimes with a mind of their own. In my darkest days I seemed to only be experiencing lows. Then occasionally I would feel slightly better and record that. This helped me realise that if I could have one good period, then I could have more. "Don't do the things that cause you to get upset" I remember deciding on this. I traced why I was feeling negative and realised that sometimes the cause was something I had control over. I committed, if at all possible, to stop doing things that created negativity in my life. This is a lesson I learned that helped me pull through the darkest period. But as an unexpected benefit, I still use this mantra 10 years later. My experience of depression is behind me, but I realise that it is the small things we do on a daily basis that make a massive difference in our future. Small seemingly insignificant habits that reap a massive return years later. So there you go. Writing a journal, Logic and Not doing the things that cause you to be upset. I used these three techniques to get me through a period of time that seemed to go on forever. One more thing. A counsellor asked me at the end of that period why I had never done anything fatalistic. To end my life. My response was that I didn't think it was in my make up. But I suppose no one who takes that final step would say it is in their make up. One thing was that I have always wanted to leave a positive legacy as a result of my life. This intent allowed me to look into the future and see something worth working towards. In conclusion, I remember reading about a conversation between a student and a teacher. The student asked, "How will I know if I haven't achieved my life purpose? The teacher responded, "If you are still alive, your life mission is still in front of you".

Beck75 The truth about 2013
  • replies: 2

This year has been a million laughs a million loves and a million shattered pieces. I have become an aunti, a sister, a friend and a mother tenfold. I have gained brothers, nephews, sons and good, real, heart wrenching friends. I have flown around Au... View more

This year has been a million laughs a million loves and a million shattered pieces. I have become an aunti, a sister, a friend and a mother tenfold. I have gained brothers, nephews, sons and good, real, heart wrenching friends. I have flown around Australia and back again a dozen times. I have worked 60 hour weeks. I have clothed and fed refugee families and furnished their homes. I have clothed and fed my family and furnished our home. I have cleaned and scrubbed and sorted until I could hardly walk. I have held my breath and willed the cancer that threatened our lives not to show up again on each and every test my husband has gone through. And it has stayed away. I have seen a brand new Refugee baby born here in Melbourne. And I have fallen in love with her. I have loved harder and stronger than I have ever loved in my life. My family has been what they've always been and this in itself is more than I deserve. My friends have been patient, kind, drunk and there. I have been so high, strong and invincible I have conquered the world, whilst holding a laptop in one hand, stirring dinner with the other and solving problems with the blackberry on speaker parked on the bench close by. May have patted the dog with my foot too. Like I said - I have conquered the world. I have also lain in bed for weeks on end, willing each breath, putting every ounce of energy I have into a steady airflow, fearing lack of concentration would mean my lungs may refuse to inflate. I have fought demons, ghosts, dirty old men from my childhood. I have faced them head on and I have sometimes been able to scream in their faces 'f you' this is MY LIFE. Other times I have turned and ran and been left shaking huddled on the floor of the shower. I have lost loved ones. A loss I feel deep in my bones. I think of them daily and know I have to make the most of it. Make the most of it. This life. This amazing, wonderful, painful, glorious life. I am learning not to hide. This is me. This is all of me. Honesty and truth. Hardest to be to oneself when what you are is not always what you want. I have been hospitalised, marginalised, paralysed, analysed, medicated, placated, sedated, diagnosed, misdiagnosed, questioned, monitored, discussed, and considered a threat to myself.I have had daily visits from strangers qualified to report that I am still alive and kicking. I have been a burden. I have been a weight. I have heard stories, felt the pain and been given some sort of insight into life in a war zone.I have felt guilt over my blessed life and my haphazard inability/ability to be happy in the wake of this knowledge despite my privileged life. And yet I am still here. And right now I am happy and feeling loved.And I thank each and every one of you that made sure that happened. Each and every one of you. I have gained perspective. I have come to terms with bipolar. 2013, you were a hell of a year. I bid you farewell, and I thank you in kind. I'll take the loves and laughs and the meds, I'll glue the shattered pieces together, and I'll raise you another million loves and another million laughs in 2014. Bring it.

amamas EMOTIONAL PAIN
  • replies: 7

Hello fellow travellers How to deal with emotional pain in a healthy way? I don't know, do any of you? Cheers Amamas

Hello fellow travellers How to deal with emotional pain in a healthy way? I don't know, do any of you? Cheers Amamas

SeanA The What, The How and The Why
  • replies: 2

I originally wrote this article for my martial arts blog.It went around my head for quite few days as it relates to life in general so I have changed it to relate to us, our thoughts and our direction.The basic idea is that any human endeavour is dri... View more

I originally wrote this article for my martial arts blog.It went around my head for quite few days as it relates to life in general so I have changed it to relate to us, our thoughts and our direction.The basic idea is that any human endeavour is driven by three questions. What, How and Why.‘The What’ is about you. What you want.‘The How’ is about action taken by you to get what you want.‘The Why’ is about others. Your effect on the world.No real problem, or at least not yet.Here is the reason: You see, 99% of endeavour is about the What and the How.What do I want?I want a better job.I want a better car.I want to visit another country.I want more money.Easy to create this bucket list.‘The How’ is the action plan for achieving ‘The What’. It is your daily activity and how you achieve goals.The Internet is full of advice on how to achieve. Follow this plan, implement this system, get this result. And results usually follow even if you have to change the systems to suit you.But the result is still empty. That’s the reason for most entrepreneurs wanting more, bigger and faster. Sort of like a treadmill.The ‘Why’ is what’s missing. It’s usually only confronted later in life. Or after trauma. Questions like:“Why am I doing this?” “What is the reason I am here?”True purpose and meaning in life comes from a clear “Why.”The good thing is that a clear ‘Why’ makes the ‘What’ easier to define. With clarity comes ease of decision making. It’s easier to say no to time wasting activities that slowly bleed you dry. Finding your ‘Why’ is hard. No advice or process makes it easy. One way to start is to identify the things that you care about. The health and safety of you and your family must be a priority. But what about giving life meaning? It has nothing to do with the accumulation of wealth or how good looking you are. Or even how good you are at your sport.These are all fun and do give you a heightened sense of self in the short term. But internal struggles continue even if you are surrounded by wealth and success. The rich and famous get depressed as much as the majority (sometimes more).Now having said all of this, the urgency is not on ‘The Why’. You really can put it off. All you do is lose yourself in a flurry of activity and accumulation of stuff. The days and years roll by.But ‘The Why’ will become very important to you one day.One day you will stop in your tracks and contemplate ‘The Why’. This, I guarantee.Ready to start thinking?

Chris D Helping Eachother a Must Read Thread
  • replies: 14

Hi All, This is for anyone and everyone suffering or have been though a mental illness and whatever else people have gone through in the past. I thought of this last night while trying to get to sleep and in my head it sounded good,inspirational and ... View more

Hi All, This is for anyone and everyone suffering or have been though a mental illness and whatever else people have gone through in the past. I thought of this last night while trying to get to sleep and in my head it sounded good,inspirational and encouraging to help others in similar positions. I will try to remember it as best i can. Here i go: We have all been through bad periods in our own personal lives as we grow older, wiser and have a better understanding of life. Here we all are, so many people with so many different illnesses and so many different things that has happened to all of us in our lives. Together at Beyond Blue on this forum we come together to band as one. We stand side by side with eachother walking with eachother picking eachother up off the lush green paddock ground when we are feeling down, we will not leave anyone behind. Any obstacle that we come across we will band together as one and know it down as we all keep marching forward across this paddock towards the ray of light that we are all hgeading in the same direction for. To all going through a rough time at the moment, i say this: YOU ARE NOT ALONE, YOU NEVER HAVE BEEN AND NEVER WILL BE. TOGETHER WE BAND AS ONE, TOGETHER ON ONE CAN BRING US DOWN, TOGETHER WE WILL KNOCK DOWN ANY OBSTACLE WE COME ACROSS, WE WILL NOT LEAVE ANYONE BEHIND. TOGETHER WE STAND SIDE BY SIDE WITH EACHOTHER. To all members: STAND TALL, STAY STRONG AND BE DEFIANT TOGETHER WE WILL OVERCOME ALL OF OUR SUFFERING that has brought us all here to Beyond Blue. To Beyond Blue i say THANKYOU. I hope this msg inspires everyone to overcome their own personal challenges in their own lives. Kind Regards Chris

Pixie15 Anxiety and depression
  • replies: 2

Hi, I am interested in trying to understand better the link between anxiety and depression. I suffer some anxiety which if I don't do all my self management things with diet, exercise, having a routine, keeping mentally active etc can sink me quite q... View more

Hi, I am interested in trying to understand better the link between anxiety and depression. I suffer some anxiety which if I don't do all my self management things with diet, exercise, having a routine, keeping mentally active etc can sink me quite quickly into depression. It seems it is different for my partner who suffers depression and seems to get an increase in anxiety levels when he is doing things. Anyway if anyone has any thoughts or suggestions?

joey emotional resolutions
  • replies: 4

My new years resolution always used to be 'to be better'. That was when I was unwell. It was a terrible resolution because although the sentiment was good it wasn't really something I could control and I always failed. I guess maybe when I finally di... View more

My new years resolution always used to be 'to be better'. That was when I was unwell. It was a terrible resolution because although the sentiment was good it wasn't really something I could control and I always failed. I guess maybe when I finally did get better I achieved it but even that year failed a few times along the way. So what have I learnt...??? Apparently nothing! This year my resolution was to be happy. Again great sentiment but really - what is that as a resolution. I think the concept of a new years resolution is wrong. We are to vague. And will always fail. We should be setting new years goals. Such as - Each week I will do at least one activity that if for myself and I enjoy doing. I will take the time to do this and to do it mindfully. - I will go on three trips with family and friends (or alone) so I have some memories or experiences for 2014. Even if the trips are not good at least I will of seen something, done something or learnt something. - I will enrol in at least one self education course because completing a course is good for my self esteem. Etc. etc. Soo... it's only 11am do you think it's too late to redo my resolutions. What did others resolve?

amamas QUITTING SMOKING - TAKE 2
  • replies: 11

Hey guys Thank you all so much for all your support last time (4 & 3/4) days. This time I'm hoping I'm a bit better prepared. I've got a list of things I can try when my pain feels too intense and I've registered with Quitline, which seems like a gre... View more

Hey guys Thank you all so much for all your support last time (4 & 3/4) days. This time I'm hoping I'm a bit better prepared. I've got a list of things I can try when my pain feels too intense and I've registered with Quitline, which seems like a great site for anyone out there interested in attempting this with me. I maybe crazy posting again for a while but hopefully this time I can at the very least go longer than last time. Cheers, Amamas

chociloni financial counselling?
  • replies: 3

I put a question mark after the topic as Im not sure if thats the service Im actually after. I know a guy who has bipolar, who had an episode and put $15 grand on his credit card during it. He told me there was some organisation that helped him waver... View more

I put a question mark after the topic as Im not sure if thats the service Im actually after. I know a guy who has bipolar, who had an episode and put $15 grand on his credit card during it. He told me there was some organisation that helped him waver the total debt on his cc, because he had a diagnosed mental illness. I dont have bipolar, but I have diagnosed dysthymic depression and an anxiety disorder, and I was wondering if there'd be something like this financial service that could help me. I have a $10,000 credit card debt, and Im not in a situation at the moment to be making repayments. It would be of great help if there was something that could take down my debt to a more manageable amount. Even though Ive been struggling with depression and anxiety for over 20 years, it often seems the system views depression and anxiety as 'not bad enough,' and there is more help for psychotic disorders. If anyone could offer any advice, thatd be great, thankyou:)

Suzbj I'm starting a new thread of hope! This is a collaborative thread for ideas of how to make 2014 count! 2014 be better than 2013!
  • replies: 19

I will begin this forum with a pledge to find at least three things every day to be grateful for. For me it may be the sunbirds in my yard, the fact I have a roof over my head that is pleasant and cheap, the fact that I have had the privilege to meet... View more

I will begin this forum with a pledge to find at least three things every day to be grateful for. For me it may be the sunbirds in my yard, the fact I have a roof over my head that is pleasant and cheap, the fact that I have had the privilege to meet all of you on this forum. That is my three for today as an example. What else will work to make 2014 count and better than 2013? Cheers and lots of love, Suz xx