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Sophie_M Sleep and Mental Health
  • replies: 0

Many of us have struggled with bouts of troubled sleep, and needless to say, these periods of nocturnal restlessness can be utterly overwhelming and exhausting. Sleeplessness can filter into every aspect of our lives: our ability to be present, remem... View more

Many of us have struggled with bouts of troubled sleep, and needless to say, these periods of nocturnal restlessness can be utterly overwhelming and exhausting. Sleeplessness can filter into every aspect of our lives: our ability to be present, remember things, regulate our emotions, or to feel excited and energised… it can change the way we think and feel in such a significant and impactful way. Whether it’s due to big life changes, global pandemics, financial or work stressors, health concerns (like menopause), how much ‘you’ time you have, or even unprocessed emotions you weren’t aware were there – so many things can impact how you sleep. All of this goes to show that not only do your daily habits, routines, and experiences play a huge role in maintaining healthy sleep cycles, but so does your mental health. And frustratingly enough, your sleep also impacts and informs your mental health and daily habits. Like most things, it’s a very easy cycle to fall into. So, it’s imperative that we are gentle and compassionate with ourselves on our journey to understanding what is making us so hypervigilant and unable to rest in the first place. Studies show that journaling or mindfulness practices throughout the day, healthy food, movement, sunshine, connection with loved ones, and support from health professionals can help us to feel more grounded and able to rest. But we are curious… what has worked for you? When do you notice that your sleep is most affected vs. when you get the best rest? And is there a way you could practice regulating your nervous system more throughout the day to help promote better sleep at night? We would love to hear your thoughts! Let us know if you have any questions and be sure to check out our page on ‘Sleep and Mental Health’ for more guidance and insight into a more supported and restful night’s sleep: Sleep and mental health - Beyond Blue - Beyond Blue Looking forward to hearing from you! Kind regards, Sophie M

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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SeanA Two Wolves
  • replies: 3

If there is one story that defines what goes on inside me - then it is this. It is reproduced from my martial arts blog: "This next piece is going to be a confession of sorts. Honesty that is not usually spoken out loud but takes place in all of us a... View more

If there is one story that defines what goes on inside me - then it is this. It is reproduced from my martial arts blog: "This next piece is going to be a confession of sorts. Honesty that is not usually spoken out loud but takes place in all of us at some stage. The situation took place recently. My instructor stood at the front of the class with his highest ranks next to him. I was one of them. He announced to the class that there were some brown belts looking at black belt and how excited he was at the prospect. The black belt on my left nudged me, as if to say the instructor was talking about me. I looked at him and shook my head as if to say, "No he doesn't mean me." Hang on, why not? And where did that negativity come from? Then I thought maybe I am my own worst enemy when it comes to backing my judgement and belief in myself. Maybe I am holding myself back from going to the next level. Maybe focusing on what I have achieved is stopping me from what I can achieve in the future. Ouch, that’s ego. Surely not me. Surely after 30 years plus of training I would possess the tenacity of a lion when it comes to achievement in any martial art. What happened was the ‘human’ side of me surfaced. The voice of the teenager who originally started martial arts to become confident still sits in there. Refusing to admit that this alter ego no longer exists is the same as believing that your instructor was always a black belt. Everyone struggles. Everyone has self doubt. Those who stick with their struggles overcome them in the long run. It is just a matter of time. The Rain Dance Researchers some time ago heard about a tribe in Africa that had a 100% success rate with their rain dance. Other tribes recorded a 50/50 success rate (sometimes it rained, sometimes it didn’t!) When they tracked down this tribe, they looked at the type of dance, the location, the words they used and everything they did in their particular ritual. Everything matched what other tribes did. They found no reason to have such an incredible record. Then one variable surfaced that made all the difference. They danced UNTIL it rained. So as humans wanting to achieve, it seems we underestimate the power of Osu No Seishin – Perseverance Under Pressure. So what now? Keep moving. The confidence and calmness that you desire lies on the other side of difficulty. Your instructors job is to present that difficulty. Your job is to confront it."

SeanA The Photo I Shouldn't Have Taken
  • replies: 2

The picture itself is 15 years old.Remember it like it happened yesterday. This place in Indonesia is famous for its rogue waves. A rogue wave, or “Roguey” in surfing vernacular, is a massive wave that break 100 m out the back and steam rolls over ev... View more

The picture itself is 15 years old.Remember it like it happened yesterday. This place in Indonesia is famous for its rogue waves. A rogue wave, or “Roguey” in surfing vernacular, is a massive wave that break 100 m out the back and steam rolls over everything and everyone. The boats that drop you in the surf sit 200 m out the back, nose to the horizon. I always wondered why as I had never seen a rogue wave.Then mother nature delivers this.It must have broken 50 metres out beyond the normal spot. Everyone was paddling and getting ready to duck dive. As that was happening I looked to my left and saw this. A surfers dream. The perfect wave.I sat on my board and juggled the cheap camera that was strapped to my arm. The other surfers at this stage had disappeared underwater, kicking for the bottom.The photo doesn't give credit to how close the wave is. Or how big it is. I pressed the shutter, hoping it was focused, and rolled off my board as the wave exploded.I didn't even get a decent breath.This picture is the product of me deciding to take in the scene that was too good to miss.Good choice.But what about other scenes that I missed because I was busy? When should I stop and take in the moment rather than rush by? Somewhere this week there is going to be one. Probably several.It doesn’t take much to appreciate something. All you do is stop and look on as an observer. The appreciation of the moment is not earth moving at first. It takes time to immerse yourself in the moment.The way to start … is to stop.Now.

white knight Embracing the embracer - calming the waters
  • replies: 2

There are some known comments "don't take me for granted" and "give me some respect" among many more. Such comments often come during a disagreement and they often make you more angry than you already are because you are at the height of your toleran... View more

There are some known comments "don't take me for granted" and "give me some respect" among many more. Such comments often come during a disagreement and they often make you more angry than you already are because you are at the height of your tolerance right? You are already stressed, fuming over some issue that flared. So let's talk about those moments immediately after such claims are made. What is your normal reaction? more anger, more arguing? Of course. Let's be honest. It's normal to defend yourself against claims that are hurtful right? But remember, these claims are about someone else's perspective and you are not inside that persons head ok, how could you understand what their perspective is? We as people with mental illness often get frustrated when those without a mental illness dont understand us. We crave that but dont get it. The most we get is compassion from those that can be compassionate, loving and caring and maybe have studied the topics. So isnt it fair to expect your partner to be understood also? Conflicts with our caring partners can send us off one our own somewhere - it is deeply hurtful and the less conflict the more stable we are. So I've thought of a challenge. I've done this challenge myself and it is hard but it works. One of the components is to lower your voice level and talk slowly. We know that when this is done the other yelling partner usually does the same. The challenge is, that during a disagreement when a claim is made that you want to answer/repel that you calmly sit down, ask your partner to sit down (it doesnt matter if they dont) and reply in your normal tone of voice at slow pace like the following. "show me some respect"! you answer "I love you very much and so I do respect you. Please tell me why you don't believe I have respect for you, I am listening" "you are so frustrating to talk to when it comes to finances"! you answer "I dont know why you find me frustrating, now please give me another chance and tell me when you become annoyed so I can adjust my responses, its all ok". This will take some practice. It isnt giving in. You will feel like you are allowing them to "win". Winning and losing an argument is allowing your emotions to dictate the moment. By accepting this challenge you are embracing the embracer at a time when you dont want to. You are effectively saying by actions - 'you care for me daily, this is my way of caring for you. I love you'. You are being fair. Life isnt all about us. Tony WK

white knight Defending yourself - dont be an easy target
  • replies: 0

When I think of those with a mental illness (including myself) and their standing in society I think of two words -lack of understanding and our vulnerability. Why vulnerability? Because by and large our minds are very "open".What you see is what you... View more

When I think of those with a mental illness (including myself) and their standing in society I think of two words -lack of understanding and our vulnerability. Why vulnerability? Because by and large our minds are very "open".What you see is what you get, honesty, lack of scheming thoughts. A while ago I wrote a passage on "So what is their mental illness" It centred around those in society that are bullies, whether it is them too that have mental illness undetected.?? So if we are more vulnerable than your average Joe Blow, are we easier to be taken advantaged of? I think so. Is in some cases, our lack of cognitive learning from our childhood made us easy targets? Here is a few examples I want to share with you. It was one winter in the northern suburbs of Melbourne when working as a labourer for a telco. The freezing winds lashed the land. My leading hand had the luxury of a closed cabin of the backhoe. I had thermal underwear and coats on. I got a sore throat and flu symptoms. It was so cold I was shaking and wanted to declare sick for the rest of the day. The foreman arrived and asked me what the problem was. As I started explaining that I had flu symptoms he interrupted and told me to board his car to talk. We sat in his car, heater on full. He said "it isnt that cold" and "your sore throat will pass" and "we have to finish that area today". So I replied "so if it isnt that cold why are we sitting here in a heated cabin"? and "you can help by swapping over positions every half hour if finishing is paramount".I wasnt popular. Another. My ex partner asked me about my hobby- model airplanes. "how much do you think you've spent on your hobby in the last 7 years. I replied "$11,000". She said "are you proud of that expenditure". My reply "yes, compared to the $35,000 we've spent on cigarettes for you" Of course these examples occur with anybody but I find that my actions of over comforting others , to allow them free reign on subjects is too lax- too obliging. I'm not often like the above examples and those examples are a reflection of planning following extreme discomfort or knowledge of a coming attack.Mostly I never see it coming. I lack defence. To manage your recovery from your mental illness requires many things. You must learn wit as part of recovery. Failure to do so can give wider implications like the torment that follows if you "let it ride".Stand up for yourself by turning the tables. Protect yourself by not being an easy target of the hypocrite.

gmc I feel courageous
  • replies: 6

Hello everyone! I've done a courageous thing these days: I wrote on my blog about being depressive and how would I expect people to change attitude on me by saying this outloud and that I am not afraid of anything anymore to say it. And I feel fine. ... View more

Hello everyone! I've done a courageous thing these days: I wrote on my blog about being depressive and how would I expect people to change attitude on me by saying this outloud and that I am not afraid of anything anymore to say it. And I feel fine. I am aware of the social riscs of being stigmatised by people and treat me like a child because of my depression, it already happens, but I still want to continue the social struggle with the attitude others have on depression and other mental illnesses. I will continue writing on my blog about this condition, about treatments, about my own experience with depression and I take it as part of my recovery. These days were also very hard, there were "those days" of struggle, even if I continue my treatment and my therapy, it does happen not to feel well, like I just don't want to get out of bed, I just want to stay and just breath and tv zapping. I would like to think I made a step forward and by trying to talk about this I will feel better and help other people too, so that they understand more about mental health and change attitude.

HA1 Don't look back
  • replies: 31

Hi everyone! Six months ago, soon after a after a career crisis, my wife convinced me to go to the GP - she knew all was not well. I did also, but was more focused on my need to go away that day to be alone and think things through. However, we went ... View more

Hi everyone! Six months ago, soon after a after a career crisis, my wife convinced me to go to the GP - she knew all was not well. I did also, but was more focused on my need to go away that day to be alone and think things through. However, we went to the GP and I ended up in hospital for the next four nights. In hindsight, possibly the best decision I/we have made. Also my previously unspoken feelings of sadness were now out in the open. Maybe my loved ones now better understood the cause of everything they had put up with over a long period of time - I hope so. I have always been a loner – perhaps partially due to being target of bullying as a young boy. Withdrawing socially equated to self-preservation. As an adult, I remained that way with few friends of my own, and certainly none that I could talk to about how I was feeling, let alone meeting for a coffee and sharing a joke. While people around me saw me as the ‘strong and silent type’, it was far from the truth. Appearing strong, calm and collected was (I think now) a self-defence mechanism. I did not want anyone to get too close to me – always on my guard, never trusting people, always looking for anonymity. In more recent years I also started to self-medicate with alcohol. These days, every day is pretty much the same as the previous - lack of motivation and fatigue. Often I still need to be alone with my thoughts and going for long walks on the beach – sitting on a rock and contemplating what the future holds. Recovery is one step forward and two steps back. I had a couple of reasonably good weeks, but then ‘it’ started creeping in again. All the symptoms of a relapse were there. My medication has now been progressively increased to a point where, it is at its max. On the whole, I am OK for now. I stopped drinking alcohol (6 months cold turkey) so that will help the meds to work better. My plan is to not look back, but to instead focus on the future. I am resigned to my fate of living with this illness probably for the rest of my life. Having resigned myself to that fate, makes life somewhat easier, but not necessarily any happier. Happiness will come with time and patience. Later this week I will be off on a holiday for two weeks - an opportunity to chill out and learn a little bit more about my illness, the practice of Mindfulness, and reading the book Silence of the Mind. Take care everyone, K

Liam007 Why you should never hide your emotions
  • replies: 3

So I finally managed to think something to post here! I'm finding that whilst I'm incredibly anxious and having a tough time with negative thoughts. I'm finding that writing about it and talking online really really works. I find that I believe and r... View more

So I finally managed to think something to post here! I'm finding that whilst I'm incredibly anxious and having a tough time with negative thoughts. I'm finding that writing about it and talking online really really works. I find that I believe and recommend that staying silent about it is the worst thing you can possibly do. I tried hide it for ages, but found it just got worse and worse as time goes on. Hiding it is something you should never do, it can't be fixed because no one knows you feel that way! When I finally starting writing online and talking to people about it, once I got it out there I felt better. Whilst I'm not completely fixed (yet) , I feel like by writing about it and talking has got me on the right path With that said, thanks to everyone who is reading, posting and all around just actively using this forum. You are all amazing people. Thanks

white knight 3 things. Happy marriage, hobbies and spirit.
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1/ What on a daily basis has helped me recover my life to a point of being able to manage it well? I'm talking daily rituals, habits, lifestyle? Marriage. Or defacto or close friendships. Contentment is so important to you daily well being. In some c... View more

1/ What on a daily basis has helped me recover my life to a point of being able to manage it well? I'm talking daily rituals, habits, lifestyle? Marriage. Or defacto or close friendships. Contentment is so important to you daily well being. In some cases a bad or toxic relationship can keep you down continually. I often wonder how many people attend psychiatrist appointments, therapy, have crisis etc all because they dont have a close marriage in the first place. Chasing all over for answers and the answer is separation???? I'm lucky...or rather, I worked toward my luck. I set goals years ago after a failed abusive marriage, to find my soul mate, someone that would make the effort to understand me- equalled to my own effort. 2/ Hobbies. To have a passion takes you to a place of peace. I enter my shed to begin my daily tinkering, place the music from the 1970's on and I'm in my dream place, my man cave. My wife has her sewing room and she loves being there. Passions make progress. 3/ Spiritual peace. You can have your own peace through your own beliefs. This peace, whatever it might be for you can give you a place where your mind is at rest. For me 27 years ago, I found my spiritual home to follow the words of Maharaji. I'm not religious but Maharaji takes me to so many level of peace, I find I'm in my own world with a smile. Topics he has on Youtube include- Sunset, the perfect instrument, the journey of life, the source of joy, fullfillment, the infinite within, the rythym of clarity, Enjoy

white knight SUCCESS!! 53 years of hell now 5 years of contentment
  • replies: 3

Capital letters for success. So I can tell the world that managing mental illness successfully is possible.Raised in outer Melbourne suburbs my first problem was that I was a country kid living in the city. We'd spend 6 weeks around xmas in Tasmania ... View more

Capital letters for success. So I can tell the world that managing mental illness successfully is possible.Raised in outer Melbourne suburbs my first problem was that I was a country kid living in the city. We'd spend 6 weeks around xmas in Tasmania on a dairy farm and it was ace. Only to return to a city I hated. I had an incident when I was 12yo that changed my life. My brother near drowned in our backyard pool.I stopped talking for 3 months. Not one word.Then at 17yo I joined the RAAF and at 18yo the wheels fell off DUI, lost my license, drunk all the time. I lasted 3 years there.I worked at Pentridge Gaol, the youngest prison officer in the jails history.I thought I was a full man when I joined, soon to realise I had a way to go. My brother took his own life and I knew I couldnt return to that dungeon. I had as many jobs as cars them days. Bought and sold on impulse not realising at all that this was immature not to mention financially silly.First marriage lasted 11 years, two daughters.Her silence ended that bond.If ever one person could hurt a talkative man like me its to ignore him completely...for up to 6 weeks at a time. I was a wreck and I started writing my poetry. It turned into my therapy. 2003 at 47yo and I attended a psychiatrist who diagnosed bp 1 and ADHD. I was then running my own business as an investigator. I travelled around 500 kms a day. That medication made me run off the roads so often. I tried walking around the car, drinking sugary soft drinks you name it. 2009 and another psych diagnosed me with bp 1, dysthymia, depression and anxiety.I had some ADHD when younger but he said it was mostly mania. add the correct meds this time and I didnt realise at the time my life would change for the better 10 fold.What was interesting was my new psych's assessment of the near drowning incident when I was 12yo. This, he said sparked off the dysthymia, a type of depression. Even though I made such progress I still had two emotional episodes early and mid 2013.I could no longer work at all and wound my business up. We are now on the pension.Such a change took a huge relief off my shoulders and by April 2014 I was ready to fill in some of my day helping others here on this site. Some of the changes since 2009 include- move to a small country town, got a hobby, no more toxic people (including my mother sadly as she likely has BPD in the extreme), good financial plans etc Success is being able to manage your illnesses. You have to believe it's possible.

dalecoach Dealing with Day to day life
  • replies: 1

Hi all, I am new to the website and wanted to share my story because it is easy to talk about it when I am typing on a screen while face to face conversations about this are still very difficult.I have been a sufferer of depression and anxiety for a ... View more

Hi all, I am new to the website and wanted to share my story because it is easy to talk about it when I am typing on a screen while face to face conversations about this are still very difficult.I have been a sufferer of depression and anxiety for a number of years now and last year I had 15 ECT procedures. The disappointing thing to come from that is I have lost some significant memories like my wedding which upsets me greatly. As a male who grew up in a family that believed all males must be strong and never be seen to fail. As a husband I feel like I have failed because of this illness. It is frustrating because unlike a broken bone you don't know when this will end. I have been lucky that the friends I have are very supportive and one in particular gave me an opportunity to work in his company by making me a role. I am now general Manager which I am proud of. The days still come by where the dark clouds hover above me and I still struggle to deal with them and certain situations. I am someone who is prepared to listen and help anyone out that I can to ensure they don't suffer like I did. No one deserves to go through what I have been through and if I can help one person then I have achieved. Dealing with day to day life is a constant battle and I would love to hear other peoples success stories on staying strong and fighting this thing head on. Thanks for listening. Dale