Dealing with Day to day life

[dalecoach]

Hi all,

I am new to the website and wanted to share my story because it is easy to talk about it when I am typing on a screen while face to face conversations about this are still very difficult.I have been a sufferer of depression and anxiety for a number of years now and last year I had 15 ECT procedures. The disappointing thing to come from that is I have lost some significant memories like my wedding which upsets me greatly. As a male who grew up in a family that believed all males must be strong and never be seen to fail. As a husband I feel like I have failed because of this illness. It is frustrating because unlike a broken bone you don't know when this will end. 

I have been lucky that the friends I have are very supportive and one in particular gave me an opportunity to work in his company by making me a role. I am now general Manager which I am proud of. The days still come by where the dark clouds hover above me and I still struggle to deal with them and certain situations. I am someone who is prepared to listen and help anyone out that I can to ensure they don't suffer like I did. No one deserves to go through what I have been through and if I can help one person then I have achieved.

Dealing with day to day life is a constant battle and I would love to hear other peoples success stories on staying strong and fighting this thing head on.

Thanks for listening.

Dale

[white knight]

Hi Dalecoach, welcome to beyond Blue forums

Well what you are asking is hard to achieve because management of the illness is all that we can hope for. That of course demands a level of acceptance. Once accepted as a part of you that wont ever disappear, it will then be easier to treat and live with.

I have my own theories and it isnt far from the Beyond Blue fact sheet I read recently- surprising enough. There are several things I suggest-

Correct diagnosis- I was one that was misdiagnosed with bipolar 1 and ADHD in 2003. Then in 2009 (after 6 years taking the wrong meds) I was correctly diagnosed with bipolar 2 (milder), dysthymia, depression and anxiety. So that is proof in itself to makes absolutely sure correct diagnosis is established.

Correct meds and fine tune the dosage.

A better environment- often I suggest a move to the countryside. A more relaxed environment.

Get rid of toxic people in your life. No exceptions.

Sort our your finances so there are no anxious surprises in the mail etc.

Find work that is less stress.

If lonely get a pet.

Have a passion/hobby

That's about it.  As for feeling like a failure you will need to address that with some reality. Being unrealistic is common with mental illness and it just adds to the problems. Ask yourself "am I being unrealistic"?  I do this daily. You are not responsible for your illness and what it does to you. You are responsible for your decisions relating to getting help, taking your medication and caring for the ones that love you regardless of what effect your illness has on you. So....you arent responsible for much of that you feel you are.

Take care and be realistic.

tony  WK