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BeyondBlue Welcome! Read this to learn more about this section of the Forums
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental he... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental health and wellbeing. We welcome all conversations here and want to know how you feel and what has helped you to be your best self. A few important tips and rules for this section are below. What is important is that this is a welcoming, kind and supportive space for everyone. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ+) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ+ space. Thank you and welcome Beyond Blue

MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 223

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

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MH2019 How to know if I am “trans enough”
  • replies: 4

Hi all. I am a mid forties m2f trans woman but am struggling with accepting that to be true or fighting it I am not sure. I have been working with my councillor who is great to answer the question am i really trans or is this just a thing. A fetish. ... View more

Hi all. I am a mid forties m2f trans woman but am struggling with accepting that to be true or fighting it I am not sure. I have been working with my councillor who is great to answer the question am i really trans or is this just a thing. A fetish. My problem is being able to understand if I am really just attracted to the appearance of the female form and fashion or whether that’s my real me just longer to be that person. i find a am a real sucker for fashion. I think I have good taste but through my years experimenting with cross dressing I have become worried that I have just developed or grown my interest such that it is a fetish or addiction. my councillor feels that’s not the case and with all the other signs and emotions I feel when presenting or even when I am just letting my guard down that backs up that I am Actually trans. The idea of being a cross dresser is actually not something I find comfortable it has always felt more than that. I am now worried as the more I accept this the more I want. I feel like I am ready to go out and face the world and want to do so more and more but there is an element of me that worries it’s just me feeding the addiction. Wanting more. how can I tell? What do I do to manage the process more? How do I decide that really I am trans enough that I should consider transition? and is that worth risking my marriage for? thanks for listening M.

Kiwi74 Where do I start?
  • replies: 1

Morning all, Where do I start. I'm 45, happily married, two kids, 21 and 14. My issue is, ever since I can remember I have felt 'wrong', I have felt I don't fit. I've crossdressed off and on as long as I can remember, I used to think it was a 'releas... View more

Morning all, Where do I start. I'm 45, happily married, two kids, 21 and 14. My issue is, ever since I can remember I have felt 'wrong', I have felt I don't fit. I've crossdressed off and on as long as I can remember, I used to think it was a 'release' of sorts, but it soon dawned on me that it was much more than that, I felt 'right' as if everything had aligned. I have watched hundreds of youtube mtf vids and have cried at what I have read onscreen, with the similarities these transwomen have had with me. My wife and I had a discussion the other day as I have been having some serious depressive times, my wife mentioned 'You know, I think if we had the money and you didn't worry what people would think (we live in a small town of 8000 people) you would have transitioned years ago.' I played it off at first, but then as the discussion continued, it dawned on me, should I explore this? Where do I start? Who do I talk to? I live 8hrs drive from the Sydney Gender Centre. I have no idea what to do. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

MacaroniNoodles Finding myself + acceptance
  • replies: 2

Hey there! I'm F15 and lately I've been pretty confused... I have known for quite a few months now that im not quite "straight" and only recently have I found a label that I feel comfortable with. I am coming to terms with being a Heteromantic bisexu... View more

Hey there! I'm F15 and lately I've been pretty confused... I have known for quite a few months now that im not quite "straight" and only recently have I found a label that I feel comfortable with. I am coming to terms with being a Heteromantic bisexual yet I feel somewhat invalid as I am not romantically attracted to females, making me not completely bisexual. I still only feel comfortable dating a man but would be open to sexual relations with a woman, making me feel like I may not be accepted in the LGBTQ+ community. On top of that, I am scared to come out to people because I have friends who use the word "gay" in a negative way and have said things that make me terrified that they wont be accepting of me. Can someone please help me?

MamaBB Experimenting while married
  • replies: 2

Hello all! This is my first time asking for support regarding my sexuality & the possibility of exploring. I have known for many years that I have been attracted to women. However I have never acted on my feelings or desires. But recently I've though... View more

Hello all! This is my first time asking for support regarding my sexuality & the possibility of exploring. I have known for many years that I have been attracted to women. However I have never acted on my feelings or desires. But recently I've thought about the possibility of exploring a part of myself that has been hidden for so long. I have held onto these feelings for so long that it it's affecting my libido. I'm married & we have a child together. A few months ago when I was having very strong thoughts & felt so confused I opened up to my husband. We had a good chat & I opened up to him for the first time. I asked him how he thought about me exploring with a couple of my girlfriend's. He said he would be ok with it but there would be a worry that I might choose to be with a woman instead. My gut feeling is that won't happen and it would just be a casual thing. I understand that it is hard to tell what emotions may develop but I don't see myself with a woman. Has anyone else successfully been in this arrangement? Does anyone have any advice for me?

PernicketyPony Is it okay to come out when I'm in a monogamous relationship
  • replies: 8

Hi! I am in what may seem to be like a dumb scenario, but it's causing me some grief. I am in a monogamous relationship with someone of the opposite sex. We are married. Our relationship is great, but in recent years I've come to accept the fact that... View more

Hi! I am in what may seem to be like a dumb scenario, but it's causing me some grief. I am in a monogamous relationship with someone of the opposite sex. We are married. Our relationship is great, but in recent years I've come to accept the fact that I am attracted to women as well as men. I've told my husband this, and he is not bothered one way or the other. I confirmed that I only want to be in a monogamous relationship with him and he feels the same way about him. Is it...okay to tell people I'm bi? Even though my only romantic relationship is with someone of the opposite sex? I feel uncomfortable hiding this part of myself, but I am concerned that if I start telling my family and friends they will think I'm just seeking attention and am not genuine. Also, would I even be welcome in LGBTIQ spaces, or would I just be taking up room that could more legitimately be occupied by someone else? Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Hmm_name I'm so lost rn
  • replies: 2

Hi so.... weird posting this up for people to see but it can't hurt I suppose Ever since I was young I have always like the "boyish" stuff and was told to act and look and dress more female, I hate looking at myself because I have the hips and breast... View more

Hi so.... weird posting this up for people to see but it can't hurt I suppose Ever since I was young I have always like the "boyish" stuff and was told to act and look and dress more female, I hate looking at myself because I have the hips and breasts most girls want and I actually despise myself my family are Mormons and are so trans and homophobic that even I found myself thinking maybe I'm sick and disgusting maybe there is something wrong with me I haven't been able to leave my bed or room, I can barely be out in public anymore, I have gaingained so much weight and I feel that I wish I never felt this way that I was normal and could accept myself and my body but it isn't my body...I'm lost

LittleMissAlice Scared about coming out to my parents
  • replies: 11

Hello... Righto, so I've been trans female for a while now... I've kinda cone terms with everything about that, as much as possible anyway, but I'm absolutely utterly completely terrified about telling my parents. I've spent most of my sentient life ... View more

Hello... Righto, so I've been trans female for a while now... I've kinda cone terms with everything about that, as much as possible anyway, but I'm absolutely utterly completely terrified about telling my parents. I've spent most of my sentient life hearing my family ranting on about the evils of the LGBT+ community, and I know that there's no way that telling them will go well for me, but I feel like I need to tell them or I'll never be able to , you know, be myself or whatever. What to do? Do I even need to tell them? Help please...

Soouncertain Straight men and underwear
  • replies: 5

Hi all, hoping to get some feedback and advice. Have been with my partner for 3 years, we have a child together etc. Very happy and love each other. But recently found out he's been on gay/trans site and enjoys womens lingerie. I trust he's never phy... View more

Hi all, hoping to get some feedback and advice. Have been with my partner for 3 years, we have a child together etc. Very happy and love each other. But recently found out he's been on gay/trans site and enjoys womens lingerie. I trust he's never physically been with anyone else but I still worry. He sad he only used those sites as it was a quick easy way to boost self esteem and validate certain kinks of underwear, not any actually attraction to men. That a sexual feeling to men has never crossed his mind. Has sworn on life that there's no actual attraction to men etc. But enjoys the power of womens underwear. A little background, he grew up around all women and never had much of a strong male rolemodel to look up to. A past relationship that caused a lot of self esteem issues and in and feeling of worthlessness. I accept him whole heartedly, but do worry that there is more to it than he'll admit. Have done my best to give him a safe place to talk an open up. As I also suffer from depression and anxiety, which I know causes me to overthink. If anyone has had similar experiences themselves or with there partner I'd love to hear talk. It doesn't bother me, everyone has there kinks, but I want to know if I'm being nieve here or have genuine concern. Really hoping this makes sense to someone out there. Thank you all for reading!

Bakura Trying to find who I am
  • replies: 1

To this day, i still cannot seem to accept who i am as a person. I am 29yrs old and I have never dated anyone. I thought it was because I put work first and that was why. I struggle to make close male friends because I start to become infatuated with... View more

To this day, i still cannot seem to accept who i am as a person. I am 29yrs old and I have never dated anyone. I thought it was because I put work first and that was why. I struggle to make close male friends because I start to become infatuated with them all the time. I am currently deeply in love with my best mate who is straight. I just love having someone who i can be around and spend time together. I dont think sex is something i am interested in. This is why i fall for straight guys. I know they don't want sex. I just want company but want to be able to have physical interactions with someone. I sometimes cry myself to sleep because I am just lonely and want something more. It has gotten to the point where i have given someone alot of money because i just want to feel needed. Each night I just sit down and try to work out what I am doing and what my purpose in life is.

kokemanjoki9 relationship wanted and getting desperate
  • replies: 4

I have been single for six years now and everyone around me can find someone except me. Single life is the root cause of my bouts of depression, pugnacity, vituperation and bellicosity. WHAT THE HELL DO I NEED TO DO!!!!! Online dating doesn't work, a... View more

I have been single for six years now and everyone around me can find someone except me. Single life is the root cause of my bouts of depression, pugnacity, vituperation and bellicosity. WHAT THE HELL DO I NEED TO DO!!!!! Online dating doesn't work, and the amount of times I have been lied to and people not answering messages is absurd.