Sexuality and gender identity

Pinned discussions

Welcome! Read this to learn more about this section of the Forums

replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender Identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental health and wellbeing. We welcome all conversations here and want to know how you feel and what has helped you to be your best self. A few important tips and rules for this section are below. What is important is that this is a welcoming, kind and supportive space for everyone. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ+) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ+ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ+ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ+ space. Thank you and welcome Beyond Blue

by BeyondBlue •

Community Manager•

Posted in Sexuality and gender identity

•

04-03-2025

•

0 unread

LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place

replies: 224

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

by MsPurple •

Blue Voices Member•

Posted in Sexuality and gender identity

•

22-08-2017

•

224 unread

All discussions

Sorted by:

Start a conversation

Going forward, uncertain.

replies: 10

So being a 49 year old male, always known I was gay but never wanted to accept it and fought hard to deny it. Married for 25 years to the most beautiful person in the world and have 3 incredible children who are well grown up, and am extremely proud of. Could not give my everything to my wife from a love point of view, even though I love her and always will. Over the years became more and more distant and eventually, 6 months ago, brought it out. And we had both known for 25 years and both wanted to deny it. So moved out staying alone, feel awkward around family and just simply don’t want to see or talk to anyone. It’s weird and hurts at times. Work keeps me sane and completely immerse myself in work and love it. Don’t want anyone else to know and only a very few do. So my question is, does this ever get better, how can I stop hurting the ones I love, and what is best for the family , for them?

Whats up with my gender?

replies: 3

Hey everyone! lately, I've been feeling pretty weird and uncomfortable with my gender (cis woman) and I was hoping to get some advice about how to go about this. I'm not experiencing any sort of dysphoria and I don't feel as though I'm the opposite gender. And I say lately but honestly, I've been feeling this way, or more of a watered-down version of this, since I was 15 (I'm 20 now.) For some context, I was diagnosed with BPD and Depression when I was 16 and have been in and out of hospital since then for self-harm/suicide attempts and not eating. I identify as a pansexual cis woman and have since I was 15. I'm a left-leaning communist and a pretty radical feminist, of course, I am 10000% in support of trans rights and the rights of every other gender out there. Honestly, I just feel kind of wrong about my gender, or that something is missing, I feel almost empty (in regards to my gender) like there should be something more. I often feel that my gender isn't enough or it doesn't fit me right. This is causing me to feel even more depressed than I do with my BPD and actual Depression. So what's up with this? Seeking helpful advice, Happy Hippie.

Gender identity

replies: 3

Ok, I have an issue. I get extremely annoyed and agitated at this movement of gender identity. Now, I wish I was more accepting, but when people start saying there is more than 2 genders, it really pisses me off. I have never questioned my own gender, never even crossed my mind. I am a male, not by choice, but because of my chromosomal make up-mainly that I have an XY chromosome, rather than XX means I am biologically a male. I am not stereotypical male, Im not particularly masculine, or anything like that. If anything, I have never felt like I fit in with what some people consider a man. HOWEVER, I dont doubt I am a man, because of the fact I have XY. Additionally, I thought the societal representations of what men and women were; gender roles for example, was wrong and that it is wrong to have gender roles in society. And yet, people are basing their genders on these out dated forms of what a female and a male should be. I am not against acting however you want, but why is there such a huge importance placed on identifying yourself as a certain gender? Your gender doesn't define you as much as you would like to think it is. I have seen so many videos explaining different genders, and some of them sound the EXACT same as another gender. Stop defining everything and just live how ever you want to live. Not everybody needs to know your gender either, if you look like a man and I call you a man in public, dont say I misgendered you (if you dont identify as a man), I cant tell how you FEEL/THINK you should be identified as. THank you for coming to my ted talk. Any advice on how to deal with this, or anyone that would be willing to explain (deeper than just feelings), of why this is etc?

The Moment of Realisation

replies: 3

Hi Beautiful People, Coming out is a very different experience for everyone for various reasons which can be positive and negative. But I'd like to hear about your 'light bulb' moments and when you were able to look back and think 'ohhh this is why i felt jealous of my best friend making new friends or this is why I used to become introvert in the girls locker room'. I say ask this because I have found peace and clarity in thinking back to those moments with the knowledge I have today and knowing that I wasn't crazy, It was just at that time in life I hadn't grown into my true self yet. Billiee xx

Questioning my gender

replies: 1

Hello everyone! I need some help. I'm a biological female, but recently I've been questioning that. I'm thinking i might be gender fluid, but I'm honestly really confused. Please help me out! I know i need to make this decision for myself, but i woul... View more

Marraige

replies: 5

Hello everyone, I am pretty new at this. I am in my late 20's and a single female. My family are very traditional, and would have liked me to be married in my early 20's. I have been in relationships with three men and two women. I had always known I was attracted to women, but I never intended to act on it. The two women I was with kind of just happened.. wasn't my intention. I know that the relationships with men didn't feel as strong, but I still am attracted to men and feel I will end up marrying a guy as that's what my family want. They don't know I've been with women. And I'd love to "follow my heart" and be with a woman but I honestly don't see that happening in my future. Is marrying a man something I may regret.. I feel depressed and anxious as my family want me to settle down already, and are putting gentle pressure on me..

Not trans enough or not woman enough

replies: 6

Hi All, I am a trans woman, well at least that is how I currently identify. I am really struggling with not be trans/woman enough. I look like a man and everyone identifies me as a man. I have a deep voice and dont know how to fix that. I do try to present female but then people just look at me weird. I am not talkative enough, not that all woman are talkative. I dont have friends, again not exclusive to one gender. I just dont feel like I fit in with either binary gender and I dont feel there is a middle. I am 38 and I know there is not much hope for me but I am still transitioning.

Married, gay? Confused

replies: 17

I’ve been married for many years and have three kids. I love my wife and children but think about being with men. I thought I could carry on as normal and deal with this but I’m finding with increasing work stress that I’m not coping with anything at... View more

how am I supposed to know my sexuality...?

replies: 3

hi again, I'm 15 year old girl and only a year ago I discovered I was bisexual. I'm pretty comfortable with telling people this so my whole family knows aswell as my close friends. I've kind of only recently been questioning it again, I barely ever have much of an attraction to guys. I've had crushes on girls and that sort of stuff but it's hard for me to come to terms with possibly being a lesbian. Maybe it's internalised homophobia because I am honestly kind of scared of identifying with it. Am I omnisexual? pan? I have no idea someone help please

The marriage that never happened

replies: 8

I am unsure whether I should start this but this issue has been bugging me for years and lately I have been cursing God for it. I am a life long Christian but not a Bible basher. My faith has carried me through a lot of dark times in my life. I may need to make a number of posts before I am finished. I hope a mental health professional will get involved in this issue with me. Ok, so here goes. Ever since I was a young person I have always wanted to get married and have kids. In my head I planned for nothing else. My parents couldn't understand why I didn't pursue relationships nor even have sexual interests. You see I am female but it hasn't always been that way - I had a choice to make. I was pushed through puberty with hormone injections as nothing was happening. My Dad wanted a boy my mind and body said otherwise. So the thought of marrying a girl seemed rather wrong to me because of my faith - girl on girl just didn't seem right for me. Also sex before marriage seemed wrong. I was brought up as a very conservative Christian so sex just didn't figure into my thinking at all. I am still somewhat traditional in my beliefs but I believe each to their own. I love Church and wanted to do the 'right' thing. For me, as a female marrying another female just couldn't happen either - at least in my head. I have no regrets of being who I am - it is the most natural thing in the world but I find not being able to marry and have kids and having not being able to have a normal life just eats away at me most weeks. I was able to keep the thoughts at bay by keeping busy with study and my nursing but now at 63 this lack of kids just doesn't go away. I blame God that there are no adults kids of mine to visit me, no grand children, no memories of love affairs or marriage. Outside of Nursing I had no reason to exist and now I am not nursing that seems more so. It is like I wonder why God even made me - what was the point of my life? I am still very much faithful to my Christianity but God gets a battering from me every week. I still pray and read my devotional and use my Lutheran Hymnal but I just can't understand why God would do this. I love who I am - I can't imagine being anyone else but the lack of memories of love and children is so hard to bear. I have one consolation in that I trained in midwifery and brought kids into this world. They would in their 20s now. I feel a bit better for getting this out. But that lack of kids is still depressing.

Welcome! Read this to learn more about this section of the Forums replies: 0

LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place replies: 224

Going forward, uncertain. replies: 10

Whats up with my gender? replies: 3

Gender identity replies: 3

The Moment of Realisation replies: 3

Questioning my gender replies: 1

Marraige replies: 5

Not trans enough or not woman enough replies: 6

Married, gay? Confused replies: 17

how am I supposed to know my sexuality...? replies: 3

The marriage that never happened replies: 8