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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Wavid Anger management
  • replies: 9

Hi. I'm a newbie, this is my first post here. I have a hair trigger on my temper - I'm not physically violent but I am verbally abusive, I recognise and accept that. I don't want to be like this any more. I've been in my current relationship for 8 ye... View more

Hi. I'm a newbie, this is my first post here. I have a hair trigger on my temper - I'm not physically violent but I am verbally abusive, I recognise and accept that. I don't want to be like this any more. I've been in my current relationship for 8 years and have a one-year old; I don't want to lose them. My temper can be set off by the most innocuous things. I'm terribly over-sensitive and have trouble reading other people. My temper is a flash in the pan, explosive type - I escalate very quickly and when I feel I've been hurt by another, . I often don't see any warning signs and before I know it I'm saying things I don't mean and deeply regret to the woman that I love. I hate it and I hate myself for it. After years of broken promises, worthless apologies and telling myself that I can deal with this by myself, I now realise that I can't do this by myself. So the question is what to do about it. Has anyone else had experience with counselling for anger issues? I've got appointment with a counsellor next week but I'm wondering if there are more effective ways forward, specialist mutual aid groups that people can recommend? Thanks in advance for any advice. I'm pretty low at the moment and need some hope that change is possible.

Bee1998 Should I confront?
  • replies: 11

So, I live with my partner and his mum and sister. My partner has just come back from a 2 week work trip. Ever since he got back, his mum and sister have been acting very cold towards me and not speaking to me. I also found out from my partner that t... View more

So, I live with my partner and his mum and sister. My partner has just come back from a 2 week work trip. Ever since he got back, his mum and sister have been acting very cold towards me and not speaking to me. I also found out from my partner that they had messaged him in a private group chat to say they wanted to go for coffee with him to have a ‘family discussion.’ And specifically said for me not to come. My partner’s mum is normally really friendly with me, and has always told me I’m part of the family. So, hearing that I’m excluded from going with them for coffee over the weekend (especially since I live with all of them) has made me feel really confused and upset. I’m not sure if I’m being treated differently because they are jealous I have been spending more time with my partner since he got back, or what it is…..but it’s making living there super uncomfortable for me, and I would like to know what their issue is with me. I also don’t respect them talking about me behind my back. If they have an issue regarding me, they should approach me, not go through my partner. Any advice on what to do from here would be greatly appreciated. Should I confront his mum and ask what the matter is? Not knowing what’s going on/ feeling like they don’t like me is starting to affect my mental health.

Earth Girl People wanting to get revenge on me becasue I stopped being friends with them
  • replies: 4

I was semi friends with this girl from college and I thought she and her friends were nice, but I wasn't really feeling the friendship anymore so i asked my sister what to do and she said to just keep telling them that you are busy and they will prob... View more

I was semi friends with this girl from college and I thought she and her friends were nice, but I wasn't really feeling the friendship anymore so i asked my sister what to do and she said to just keep telling them that you are busy and they will probably stop asking you to hang out. I did this for a while and so one day the girl said "I'm here for you but as far as our friendship goes I'm taking a step back because you obviously want space" and I didn't know what that meant but I thought she thought that I was annoyed with her and I didn't want her to think that so I just told her I was going through a hard time and we stayed friends for a bit longer. I remembered that my sister said it's okay to unfriend people on Facebook so I unfriended her and her guy friend because I didn't think they would find it hurtful, but several months later I got a message from them asking me why I unfriended them. I told the girl that I just didn't really feel a connection and that I didn't want to be friends anymore and she got really mad and said "thanks for using me" which wasn't what I was trying to do - I just didn't want to be friends anymore. Her guy friend texted me the same question a couple days later and I told him that I just wasn't really feeling the friendship with the girl and he said "She's really nice so please help me understand why you didn't see a connection there" I didn't want to say anything because I felt awkward but I told him that I just couldn't open up to her much and that she kind of bullied a girl about her weight and he said that for now at least, it was goodbye. I found out recently that this girl is planning serious revenge on me. I know now that I shouldn't have just unfriended them and I wouldn't have if I knew they would find it hurtful, but I have had people do worse things to me than that and I don't want to get revenge on them. And another girl is also really mad at me for not wanting to be friends with her anymore even though I tried to end the friendship as nicely as I could. Since a lot of people don't like me, they have chosen to side with these two and gang up on me and it's tons of people against one person (my family don't take it seriously). I don't know what to do and I didn't think they would get this upset over it. I know what I did wasn't the best I didn't know what else to do at the time. My Mum told me that if the guy asks that question that it's good that I answered it, but before she said it might have been better not to

R.Penn Housemate/ relationship issues
  • replies: 3

Hello again BB community… I wanted to see if anyone would like to chat about stuff… I am having a hard time on my own tonight. My boyfriend of 2 years had another fight with our housemate who is 10 years my senior. I am 33. I don’t have any friends i... View more

Hello again BB community… I wanted to see if anyone would like to chat about stuff… I am having a hard time on my own tonight. My boyfriend of 2 years had another fight with our housemate who is 10 years my senior. I am 33. I don’t have any friends in this city and am unemployed and in the middle of a mental health assessment for possible ASD/not sure what else. My Boyfriend also has been diagnosed ASD. We are very kind and amiable people but my boyfriend gets really overwhelmed with visitors staying over and our housemate doesn’t care about his needs. Anyway long story short my bf blew up at housemate over text message about his friend leering into my room while I was in there one day on my own which made me feel uncomfortable. I don’t feel very safe living here and we both just want to feel comfortable as we pay the majority of the rent. The house is currently feeling like in lockdown everyone is not talking and I have tried to schedule a meeting but the two won’t talk. Not sure what to do… I would like some advice… as I feel like I am on the verge of being homeless yet again… and jobless… I can’t afford to move just yet but might want to move out on my own again to get healthy space back. Can anyone relate? Sharehousing can be such madness but it really comes down to trust and communication, kindness and respect… our housemate doesn’t give a shit about us and makes it clear to us as well. i just cant remember the last time I felt at “home” somewhere.

Fezzeh family
  • replies: 1

Family has been a big problem for me. I am the only girl in the family which is a challenge. I can't go out, go study or anything. I always expect to be perfect and amazing. I just want to be myself and be who i want to be. I just want to be free and... View more

Family has been a big problem for me. I am the only girl in the family which is a challenge. I can't go out, go study or anything. I always expect to be perfect and amazing. I just want to be myself and be who i want to be. I just want to be free and go out like a normal person. I can't go to the library to study or anything. I always been compare with other girls in my life, "oh be more like her". I'm trying my best to be mentally okay but i can't when i expect to be perfect.

Mr_Sad_Dad Unbearable wife
  • replies: 3

I am a good man, a good husband and a good father. I love my wife and do everything for her and our children. I get to work at home most of the time, so I do all our house chores (i.e. cooking, lunch prep for school, vacuum, laundry and dinner for wh... View more

I am a good man, a good husband and a good father. I love my wife and do everything for her and our children. I get to work at home most of the time, so I do all our house chores (i.e. cooking, lunch prep for school, vacuum, laundry and dinner for when she comes home with the kids). I make time for us 1 on 1 however nothing I do seems to be good enough and I am constantly given smart remarks or criticised on all my efforts. We have been married for over 10 years now and no amount of gentle discussion to get her to see how her behaviour effects me gets through to her, so I am now at the point of wanting out of this marriage, I have endured this for over 3 years now. My heart breaks thinking about my kids and I just don't know what to do or how to handle this situation anymore. She is aggressive, moody and at times verbally abusive to myself and the kids. Out of my depth here and noone to talk to as whenever I try to talk about this to close friends, they just brush it off. How should I best approach this situation?

Orin Dating a girl with bpd
  • replies: 2

Hi.. I lied I'm not rlly dating but we arnt really friends we are in between and she's also my ex last week on wensday she came back and apologised to me for everything she did (she turned my friends against me and ruined my life and i had no friends... View more

Hi.. I lied I'm not rlly dating but we arnt really friends we are in between and she's also my ex last week on wensday she came back and apologised to me for everything she did (she turned my friends against me and ruined my life and i had no friends for about a month ) and I accepted and I've been talking with her and she started flirting and stuff and she said she loved me but I know it's not promised but we were going good till Tuesday this week when she became distant like she barely knew me and she told me that her friends both of them her 2 besties that are both ex's to my best friend told her that she should be ashamed to like someone like me and that she shouldn't date me and since then she's been cold and distant and I really like her and we were planing dates but I can barely get a hold of her when she's alone she's different she's sweet and nice and she does have her own problems but my problem is that i think she's falling out of love she now says she thinks she likes me and she doesn't know what she feels for me and I know it was similar like this in the pass but she knew deep down she did but it's her friends that are telling her this cuase they hate me for no reason I just don't know what to do and I'm asking for help because it's coming a problem for me and my mental health I also struggle with depression so I need some advice of what to do

Susan_68 Online Infidelity
  • replies: 3

I discovered by chance that my partner of 20 years had been in online contact with a school friend, where they swapped intimate photos and videos. She lives locally, and also attended places where he worked (he's in the entertainment industry). Whils... View more

I discovered by chance that my partner of 20 years had been in online contact with a school friend, where they swapped intimate photos and videos. She lives locally, and also attended places where he worked (he's in the entertainment industry). Whilst he swears there was no physical intimacy, I feel gutted, ugly, undesirable, stupid and so very isolated. I contacted her about it, and she responded by saying she hoped I got some tips from her videos, whilst accepting no responsibility for what's happened. My partner keeps telling me there was never any emotional investment on his part (even though she told him she loved him, and wanted more), and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I just don't know where to go to from here. I feel like the biggest fool, and if it was someone else telling this story, I'd tell them to run - fast. It's not that easy when it's yourself.

Rose9 Lost and alone
  • replies: 5

I’ll try to be brief. Suffer depression, anxiety and multiple health issues. Childhood trauma. My daughter has not spoken to me in over 5 years, I don’t know why. My best friend passed away from cancer early last year we were partners in crime for 20... View more

I’ll try to be brief. Suffer depression, anxiety and multiple health issues. Childhood trauma. My daughter has not spoken to me in over 5 years, I don’t know why. My best friend passed away from cancer early last year we were partners in crime for 20+ years. I miss her so much. Traveled to hubbys family last year after funeral, for birthday it did not go well so to avoid putting myself into deeper depression I made the call to leave. No harsh words were said. Apparently it seams I’m in no longer worth talking to, I don’t know what was said. I’m so very tired of being the baddie with out knowing why! So lonely, no friends no family (my side) only hubby and sons family. DIL does not talk to me much, tries to be kind. I’m very thankful for that. I feel as if it’s not worth being around anymore, I’m not suicidal, as I know it is not the answer, my luck I’d fail and end up worse of… thank you for taking the time to read.

Stasia71 Gaslighting and Narcissistic tendencies
  • replies: 17

I’ve been learning a lot about people who gaslight and have narcissistic tendencies. This is my husband 100% and today while listening to my audiobook Gaslighting, How to recognise manipulative and emotionally abusive people, I was almost in tears be... View more

I’ve been learning a lot about people who gaslight and have narcissistic tendencies. This is my husband 100% and today while listening to my audiobook Gaslighting, How to recognise manipulative and emotionally abusive people, I was almost in tears because he has been manipulating me for so many years (26 married years!) to the point I’ve been questioning my own sanity! I plan to leave him, I’ve decided that its going to happen, but in the meantime I’ve decided to educate myself on how to handle this behaviour so that he won’t be able to talk his way out of things anymore. I didn’t even realise that these behaviours even existed, and was always trying to make excuses for him or worse blame myself for his behaviour.....he has been so clever to turn any argument around so that I’m left feeling I’m to blame, or worse the kids are to blame, whether it’s true or not.....I have been living in this cloud of confusion, brainwashed in a way. I’m so thankful that I have found these resources so that I can empower myself to follow through with separation and divorce.