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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Darcy636 Advice for situationship moving away
  • replies: 2

I need some advice for my current situation. I had met a guy on hinge and kicked it off in January 2023 and have been seeing each other until now. Mid January, he said that he is going to move to the Sunshine Coast (I am in Brisbane) in May which is ... View more

I need some advice for my current situation. I had met a guy on hinge and kicked it off in January 2023 and have been seeing each other until now. Mid January, he said that he is going to move to the Sunshine Coast (I am in Brisbane) in May which is next week. We decided not to date as he still has complicated feelings towards his ex and does not see me as a wife figure, but we like each other so kept seeing each other until now. We did everhtbing together. We have had a few ups and downs but still have feelings for each other. He is now moving to the Sunshine Coast and has to cut things off with me. I do not know how to cope with this as there have been dramas within our friendship group and has made him leaving even harder. I wish he would stay. How do I help myself not feel so hopeless without him.

english777 Always lose interest
  • replies: 1

I'm an introverted 50-something hetero guy with a long history of losing interest in my partners. I yearn for a fulfilling relationship but at some point (anything from 6 months to maybe a year or more) the sexual interest drops right off and I feel ... View more

I'm an introverted 50-something hetero guy with a long history of losing interest in my partners. I yearn for a fulfilling relationship but at some point (anything from 6 months to maybe a year or more) the sexual interest drops right off and I feel like crap because I still have feelings for my partner but I know I can no longer fulfill their needs. By this point my partner usually feels to me like she's my best friend. I either end up losing her altogether or end up in a shadow of a friendship with her. This happens regardless of whether we live together or not. I cannot reconcile my desire for a fulfilling and lasting relationship with the reality of my sexual desire. I have been (not always but now) open with my partners as to my history, but I still feel tremendous guilt when the feelings go. I'm wondering if I should abandon normal sexual relationships altogether, to avoid this pain (for both parties). But I know I will always long for a relationship.

teaBee Religion
  • replies: 3

I was raised in a very strict religious family. When I was younger I believed whole heartedly in it but now I’m just confused. They teach you that the only place you can find true happiness is in religion. But all I got was hurt and judgment. I love ... View more

I was raised in a very strict religious family. When I was younger I believed whole heartedly in it but now I’m just confused. They teach you that the only place you can find true happiness is in religion. But all I got was hurt and judgment. I love the belief and what they teach but it seems like the people never actually follow through with what is taught. Don’t judge people, always be kind and respectful, people have free will to live how they choose, love everyone. But instead I was taught to be ashamed of my body. That as a woman I was less than and needed to constantly change things for men. I was judged for all my interests. I was judged for associating with people outside the religion. At one point I was shunned by many of the people I knew. They spread lies and rumours about me. I was told to be ashamed of my for disappointing god. It hurt me so much that I left. And now I feel complete. I feel happy and like there is nothing missing in my life. But if my family knew that I live with my boyfriend they’d cut me off and never speak to me again. But I’m just in love and it’s wrong because we aren’t married. Now that I have drifted away though many of my friends and family are pressuring me to came back. To go to church. To be more involved. To put away the bad parts of my personality and change to be ‘better’. It doesn’t feel better to me it feels like I’m lying to myself. I love parties and drinking. I love tattoos. I love my boyfriend and our sexy time even though we aren’t married. I love my job and my home and this life I’ve made. But they want me to throw it away because it’s ‘wrong’. I’ve been in so much pain my whole life it’s honestly lucky I’m alive. So now I’m happy I feel free for the first time but everyone want to take it away from me. I wish they would all just leave me alone but they all seem to forget the part of the bible that teaches to mind your own business.

tinyone Trying to leave
  • replies: 3

Long story, but I will keep it short. I feel as though I've completely lost myself recently. My partner and I separated 2 years ago. We have 2 kids. And we're together 16 years. I finally found myself again and really enjoyed being single and living ... View more

Long story, but I will keep it short. I feel as though I've completely lost myself recently. My partner and I separated 2 years ago. We have 2 kids. And we're together 16 years. I finally found myself again and really enjoyed being single and living my own life for once. I was doing things at my own pace and enjoying my own interests.Recently ex decided he wanted to try and get back together. I have told him multiple times I'm not keen and that I don't really want a relationship. I've been very honest about it. he wants to try over and over but he still hasn't changed. He still drinks and is very obsessed clingy then gives me silent treatment and plays mind games. He makes me feel like I just cannot enjoy things. Takes over everything I do. I feel so overwhelmed constantly and feel extremely defeatedI'm back in a situation that I never wanted even be apart of. And I'm struggling to stand my ground and I find myself giving in just to keep him happy

Shelly58 Alienated Grandparent Hope
  • replies: 2

Hi all !In 2019 I joined the forums to vent about my sadness and frustration at being prevented from seeing my two young Grandsons. I had a close relationship with them from the day of their birth. My DIL filed a malicous DVO that prevented me from s... View more

Hi all !In 2019 I joined the forums to vent about my sadness and frustration at being prevented from seeing my two young Grandsons. I had a close relationship with them from the day of their birth. My DIL filed a malicous DVO that prevented me from seeing them which I fought to the hilt but was eventually advised by my Solicitor that the Court will usually side with the Applicant. I ended up accepting the order on a "non admissions " basis. I plunged into a deep Depression. I'm here to give you hope that sometimes things can change.In January of last year my DIL told my son that she didn't love him anymore and he had to leave the family home. He came back to live with my Husband and myself. To cut a long story short my DIL dragged the children (including a new granddaughter that I had not met) into some very risky living circumstances. In February she asked my son to take the boys to also live with us as the person she was moving in with would only accommodate my granddaughter. We quickly found out that the person she was moving in with was in fact her boyfriend and the reason she asked my son to leave.Anyway the boys are all still living with us a year and three months later. I am the primary care giver as we have encouraged our son to keep his career. It has been a pretty hard road as they have both been diagnosed with Early Chilhood Trauma as a result of what they were dragged through during the marriage breakdown. There have been lots of behavioural issues but with a lot of commitment and Therapy things are starting to come good. I wouldn't trade their hugs and I love you's for anything. My granddaughter who is 2 has also started spending overnighters with us from the beginning of the year. My husband and I are developing a great bond with her. Your circumstances may not be the same as mine but never give up hope. Keep a close relationship with your son or daughter ....it could lead to a relationship with your Grandchildren also. Good luck to all the Grandparents out there whose hearts are literally breaking

Rogger How to deal with and act happy to parents?
  • replies: 3

Hi, I suffer from loneliness due to being estranged from my extended family, lacking strong social bonds with friends, and having difficulty relating to my immediate family (my parents) due to their racist, transphobic, and sexist worldviews. These f... View more

Hi, I suffer from loneliness due to being estranged from my extended family, lacking strong social bonds with friends, and having difficulty relating to my immediate family (my parents) due to their racist, transphobic, and sexist worldviews. These feelings can sometimes cause me to act in ways that involve me being upset (crying is an example). However, my parents don't seem to like this, and they can even sometimes define it as bad behaviour, depending on the situation. I've tried talking to them, but from what they've said, I don't think I'll ever change their mind regarding this. Now, you might be wondering why I don't just move out and limit contact. That would be what most people do in this situation. The thing is that my parents are very wealthy. When I behave in ways they deem as "good", I can get many things and opportunities that I would have never otherwise had access to. So, for this reason, I would like to try to act in a way that my parent deems appropriate (even if it mismatches how I feel inside), which involves essentially being happy and silly as much as I can. And I am making this post to see if anyone could give me some suggestions on how to do this and how also to take care of my own mental health (journalling my frustrations was one idea I had myself). I appreciate your help!

Zan11 Feels like I’m losing my best friend
  • replies: 6

I’m feeling overwhelmed, the inevitable has happened and I still was not ready. My best friend who i’ve been intimate with for the last 4yrs ended it. When he told me, I felt a cold chill sweat in my body. Is that normal? It’s been 24hrs but I’m stru... View more

I’m feeling overwhelmed, the inevitable has happened and I still was not ready. My best friend who i’ve been intimate with for the last 4yrs ended it. When he told me, I felt a cold chill sweat in my body. Is that normal? It’s been 24hrs but I’m struggling to stop this anxiety and missing what we had. How do I stop overthinking? I can’t focus on anything, can’t accept it, even tho I knew it this day would come. I want to move on quickly. I don’t want to feel this down.

beau22 My girlfriend of 5 years left me because she dosnt know if she loves me or not
  • replies: 2

My girl friend of 5 years moved to her mums almost 2 weeks ago she said she dosnt know if she loves me anymore and she needs space to figure out what she wants it’s so hard not to check in on her every day we have done everything together for 5 years... View more

My girl friend of 5 years moved to her mums almost 2 weeks ago she said she dosnt know if she loves me anymore and she needs space to figure out what she wants it’s so hard not to check in on her every day we have done everything together for 5 years barely bin apart she is my rock and I am hers I havnt bin the easiest to deal with I have anxiety and depression and can be quite overwhelming sometimes she has bin amazing through it allshe has her family im left in our house alone all I can see is memories of her every where I lookshe called the other day basically said it was over then a few days later told me it could take weeks months even years for her to come backI want to fight for her because she is my soul mate but I know I am definitely pushing her away by doing this the worst thing is I know that she is hurting to and I can’t do anything about it there has bin no discussion about why or what problems she was having it just happened and because I have no answers I’m making scenarios in my head sending my self mental I tryed speaking to mates they all did not help they basically said she hasn’t bin the same since she started her new job are you sure she hasn’t found someone els I was slowly getting my life back on track after my brothers death a year ago now this has brought every thing back the one person I speak to about my problems and I can’t I need help I don’t know what to do or think

Globetrotter Child above & PTSD
  • replies: 1

How do you live or deal with having been abused sexually by one of your closest family members that you'd think wouldn't be possible.I tried to mask it to bury all my life in the hope that it would protect the other family members if i Just took it a... View more

How do you live or deal with having been abused sexually by one of your closest family members that you'd think wouldn't be possible.I tried to mask it to bury all my life in the hope that it would protect the other family members if i Just took it all on myself then the hope it would eventually stop and it stopped and got through without thinking about it all for a few years but it's coming back. In different ways too. In my thoughts, in the way I shut down immediately if anything triggers me and the worse I'm put into those feelings when the triggers pop out and starting to frame my partner as the same person that abused me but he's not. We have been married for over a decade now and have beautiful children, but because I can't get pass those I often feel resentful, angry, and our intimacy is gone. I feel dirty, I always hated having being born with this body...I always wished I wasn't born or could just go...but now I can't for my family. I just feel numb, I can't get pass this, it's ruined most of me and who I am, who I became...Anyone having suffered the same having managed to at least let it out as I haven't found who would be able to even listen to all of this that cares.... psychs have taken my money but don't really care. Many years ago I started talking to one but never got even close to letting this out and then I just felt it was leading nowhere on my path to healing. If there's even one....

LisaMG1967 hello everyone
  • replies: 2

I just need some support as my marriage has just broken down... after more than 30 years... I had to move out as my husband was drinking too much and he did not think it was a problem... He now has started seeing someone and it is breaking my heart..... View more

I just need some support as my marriage has just broken down... after more than 30 years... I had to move out as my husband was drinking too much and he did not think it was a problem... He now has started seeing someone and it is breaking my heart... I just do not know what to do to get past this... please can someone help...