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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Cathy_Chiew Be frustrated with the relationship with my friend but she is also my roommate
  • replies: 1

My friend, M, is my roommate but also my friend. We usually hang out together, but after she fed a cat, things changed. Because I have an allergy to cat fur, I had told her about this issue. She promised me she would do the cleaning. However, she did... View more

My friend, M, is my roommate but also my friend. We usually hang out together, but after she fed a cat, things changed. Because I have an allergy to cat fur, I had told her about this issue. She promised me she would do the cleaning. However, she didn't! My nose has been stuck for over four years. Every time I saw fur on the kitchen bench, my desk, in the fridge, and so on, the fur be on the place its shouldnt I couldn't help but feel angry. I had tried to discuss it with her, but the response was like, 'Oh, my cat is so pitiful; no one likes you,' or 'I'll shave your fur, my kitty, to be bald, and there would be no fur.' Also, she put a Poopoo machine in our bathroom but only cleans it once per fortnight. I have to endure the terrible smell every time I use the bathroom. I told her about this issue, and she bought candles and a diffuser. The combination of smells was extremely disgusting.I feel she is really selfish! But I also have to admit we have had lots of good times. Mostly when we hang out, she drives, and she has also introduced me to many new friends. I'm confused about whether I should continue this relationship

nixxyboo Family blaming me
  • replies: 1

Someone in the house has $100 missing from their wallet Yet again (mind you I’ve also had money missing which is why I don’t carry cash now unless it’s given to me but didn’t say anything as didn’t want to blame anyone.) however I’m now getting the b... View more

Someone in the house has $100 missing from their wallet Yet again (mind you I’ve also had money missing which is why I don’t carry cash now unless it’s given to me but didn’t say anything as didn’t want to blame anyone.) however I’m now getting the blame and also found out they have blamed me for other things (my partner told me they have said things to them). I’m over it. I do t do shit but yet it’s always me. I want out of here but untill I can get back to work I can’t

bonchm Fiancé chatting online and compulsively lies
  • replies: 1

I’ve been with my partner for 4 years next month. 2 weeks ago I caught him on a dating site. He swore blue in the face it wasn’t him, he had been hacked. Made out he had made a police report. Made me feel crazy for not letting it go. 1 week later, I ... View more

I’ve been with my partner for 4 years next month. 2 weeks ago I caught him on a dating site. He swore blue in the face it wasn’t him, he had been hacked. Made out he had made a police report. Made me feel crazy for not letting it go. 1 week later, I sat in front of him and went though his emails. He thought he had covered his tracks but I found proof of his ads. He swears that he never met anyone but I can’t believe him. I told a mutual friend. Turns out this is how is marriage ended, literally 3 months before I met him!! I don’t know who he is! He has been on this site since we got together! He was chatting while I was in hospital with threatened pre term labour and still just after I had had his baby!! I keep digging and finding more. I can my stop, it’s driving me crazy. emails to other women talking about things that we were excited about. He’s emotionally sharing with other women, sending cheeky memes to both me and another at the same time. i reallllly don’t know what to do either I want this to work for the kids (big blended family) and I have never felt this way about someone before. But writing his actions down and re reading them, if it were a friend I’d tell them to run from him.

Rachy86 Pregnant sister
  • replies: 1

Hi my name is Rachel and my sister is pregnant.We are very close and she supports me alot as I have mental health issues.I know things will change but I am afraid I am going to lose the relationship I have with my sister and because of this I feel I ... View more

Hi my name is Rachel and my sister is pregnant.We are very close and she supports me alot as I have mental health issues.I know things will change but I am afraid I am going to lose the relationship I have with my sister and because of this I feel I am not reacting to the news in the right way.Also I feel I am not a great person so I don't know how I can contribute to helping another person. I know I don't want them to turn out like me. And because of this I am taking a step back from the whole situation which I don't want to do because I love my sister and I want to support her. But maybe it's better this way at least I won't screw it up.

gloria10 My sister has stopped talking to me
  • replies: 11

Hi. I'm looking for some advice to deal with my sister, who has recently stopped talking to me. We have never really been super close, but have still stayed in contact every few months as we know family is important. Recently, she started to get a bi... View more

Hi. I'm looking for some advice to deal with my sister, who has recently stopped talking to me. We have never really been super close, but have still stayed in contact every few months as we know family is important. Recently, she started to get a bit hostile towards me and argued over little things, I felt I was walking on eggshells. If I tried to reach out to her she wouldn't answer my calls. I understand people get busy, but I get the feeling it's more than that. It's not a nice feeling getting the silent treatment and I'm left feeling quite drained at times. I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this sort of thing and how you approached it? Many thanks, Gloria10

nicky76 My mum is addicted to ice
  • replies: 1

When I was 17 my mum fell into a bad ice addiction. She lost her job, our family home and everything she has worked for within the space of 12 months. She is now homeless and a prostitute which she chooses to post on Facebook on her multiple accounts... View more

When I was 17 my mum fell into a bad ice addiction. She lost her job, our family home and everything she has worked for within the space of 12 months. She is now homeless and a prostitute which she chooses to post on Facebook on her multiple accounts she makes. She suffers from bad psychosis and thinks I am either dead or out to get her. I don’t know how to deal with the grief that I have already lost her even if she is still here physically. I haven’t seen her for over 3 years and i to be honest I am scared to see her. I don’t know what I would do or how she would react to me and if she would lash out. How do I accept that my mum won’t be there to see all my achievements and say she loves me even though she is still here. I feel ashamed if any of my friends see her on Facebook because they will wonder who she is and why she posts the stuff she does and I don’t want anyone to make fun of her. My heart hurts for her when I think she might be unsafe and with people who don’t care about her. It’s just me and her. She won’t talk to my aunt and my grandparents have passed away. Sometimes I feel so alone.

Chrissy M Estrangement from daughter
  • replies: 1

My eldest daughter 26 years has estranged me and the family. It makes me very sad. Been six years now. I have no idea why, no big arguments, was very closed and distant towards me before the estrangement. No mother is perfect. Had a different marriag... View more

My eldest daughter 26 years has estranged me and the family. It makes me very sad. Been six years now. I have no idea why, no big arguments, was very closed and distant towards me before the estrangement. No mother is perfect. Had a different marriage DV. Loved all my childrens and treated they with love. I have grown closer to my faith. I would not survive without Jesus in my life. But most days I think of her, I pray that we will reconcile. But all I get is silence. Why does she punish me, with her no contact.

Star343 Loneliness
  • replies: 7

I moved interstate at the start of this year for a graduate job and I am finding it really hard to make friends. I have tried asking people from my work team to go out for after work drinks but they either say there are unavailable or do not answer. ... View more

I moved interstate at the start of this year for a graduate job and I am finding it really hard to make friends. I have tried asking people from my work team to go out for after work drinks but they either say there are unavailable or do not answer. I have tried joining clubs but everyone is always much, much older than me, most of them are retirees. I am really struggling to be optimistic, it is really hard when you want to be happy and make friends but people do not make themselves available. What should I do?

Headspace_occupied Bpd ruining my life
  • replies: 2

Hi all,I was diagnosed with BPD. I chronically overthink and stress about imagined scenarios.I recently said some pretty hurtful things to my partner which I adored, which has pretty much ended the relationship. The relationship had been strained the... View more

Hi all,I was diagnosed with BPD. I chronically overthink and stress about imagined scenarios.I recently said some pretty hurtful things to my partner which I adored, which has pretty much ended the relationship. The relationship had been strained the last month due to my ex-wife causing issues (harrassment/stalking etc.)My partner had decided to distance her self from me the last month which has set my head into overdrive. I ended up in hospital twice in December which has played a part in the end of the relationship.Is there any chance to save the relationship?

EarthAngle Was I abused as a child??
  • replies: 4

I’m having some things come up from my childhood, since yesterday I had the first real every argument with my father over the phone yesterday, I am over thirty. I saw colours in him I never new existed.these were colours of gasliting, controlling, bl... View more

I’m having some things come up from my childhood, since yesterday I had the first real every argument with my father over the phone yesterday, I am over thirty. I saw colours in him I never new existed.these were colours of gasliting, controlling, blaming and victim mentality. He is resentful of me about the past (I was a kid) and it has sept out into our relationship over all these years, with anger, rudeness and grumpiness… I hated being around my dad for this reason and kind of still do… I am an empath and feed off these emotions, it makes me terribly uncomfortable. Anyway since this event arose yesterday I had been noticing things from my childhood popping up, such as; when I was 8 he got all three of us kids to line up in the dining room, my father sitting on the chair with a fry pan cord… I knew what we were in for, all this for not getting our room cleaned on time. He asked “who’s first?” Myself being the youngest, I braved and said “me”. He hit me so hard that I was left with a very sore bruise upper thigh on the backside of my leg where the temperature dial of the fry pan cord got me. It was a big bruise, my teachers the next day sore it, they were very concerned, but little me with a big heart told them “it’s okay, I deserved it”. Mum wanted to do something about it but she didn’t, my father is a very assertive man.I would never ever ever think about doing something like that to my kid EVER! I kept saying to myself over the years that it never hurt me, actually thinking about it… I believe it did. He would criticise me a lot on my AWESOME drawings when I was younger, wouldn’t let me colour in his colour in book because “ you won’t colour in the lines” that stuck with me, he pushed and shoved into me while I payed down on the couch one day… I was a young teen, I don’t remember what I did wrong to deserve that.. it scared me and got my attention, he through a lighter at me and it hit me in my eye and because I cry’d he told me not to and that it wouldn’t of hurt that much. When my mother had cancer and I’m hospital us kids were being looked after by him, I remember being so upset (this occurred when I was 7) he didn’t come in to comfort me… it was so hard not knowing if my mother was going to come home or not. I just never felt validated by him, there were other insistences I remember but it’d take too long to write. I felt always criticised, I hated his energy and actually kind of still do, always yelling, always cranky. Was I abused??