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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Elizabeth Louise My husband cut ties with my Family
  • replies: 14

My husband has decided to cut ties with my family just over a year ago. What started off as a small complaint to my family about my sisters behaviour at my sons birthday party escalated into a massive fight with my sister a few weeks later. My husban... View more

My husband has decided to cut ties with my family just over a year ago. What started off as a small complaint to my family about my sisters behaviour at my sons birthday party escalated into a massive fight with my sister a few weeks later. My husband had sent a message to my mum and sister about how she upset our son with her behaviour and because my mum left the group chat he believes his concerns were ignored and he felt abandoned. My mum was dealing with the news of my dads cancer diagnosis and she felt the message was an attack. My husband was constany bringing up the issue for 3 weeks, that it wasn't resolved for instance after a nice day out at the beach and it kept stressing me out. I kept saying to let it go, but he wouldnt. I then asked my sister to respond so it could be resolved and she responded to his text, but he wasn't happy with this as she was being defensive and making excuses at the same time. Because the issue was still not resolved, I asked her to come over and apologise in person so he could move on. It ended up becoming a huge fight because he wasn't happy with the way she apologised to our son. She apologised to him in private and we had no idea. After 2 hrs she was about to leave, he questioned why she came. From the look on his face, it seemed a bit aggressive. It escalated into a fight and she told him to f$%@# off. She also admitting to recording him just before she left. This event almost broke us as he believed I chose to defend her over him. He doesn't want to see them again and says things will never be the way they were. He doesn't trust them and think my parents chose to protect her and do nothing about her behaviour or the fact that she recorded him at our house without his consent. I think the whole situation got out of hand and got bigger than what it should have been. I still see my family with the kids but without him but i think the situation Is impacting my mental health. I just want things to be normal again. I feel like there is this dark cloud hovering over me and everyone is being stubborn and no one really cares enough to help reconcile things so we can move forward. My husband won't reply to texts, he won't even open birthday gifts he received from them. I have asked him to just have a conversation. My dad wants to speak to him but he refuses to see anyone. He previously had a great relationship with my parents. What do I do? Do I keep pushing for reconciliation?

cady2015 Stay together for the kids?
  • replies: 6

Hi all. Thank you in advance for listening. Isn’t it funny how talking to strangers is easier than friends and family? I’m not really sure of the purpose but I just have a lot on my chest. My husband and I have had some problems. A few years ago, I f... View more

Hi all. Thank you in advance for listening. Isn’t it funny how talking to strangers is easier than friends and family? I’m not really sure of the purpose but I just have a lot on my chest. My husband and I have had some problems. A few years ago, I found out he’d been speaking with strangers on SnapChat and Tinder. It’s been an ongoing issue. He says it isn’t personal and it isn’t physical, therefore, it isn’t cheating. We finally came to an agreement that it was a breech of trust and therefore, there wasn’t a place for it in our marriage. Then, I found out it was happening again about 6 months ago. I’ve been absolutely shattered ever since.He was remorseful and we did have some supportive conversations to begin with. But he’s gone back to business as usual while I’m unsure how to rebuild trust. I feel like I can’t tell anyone because I want to protect him. But it’s eating me up and making day to day life difficult. I am irritable, anxious and depressed. I’ve given my everything to our small family. We have a small child. I don’t work and have no where to go. I’d need full time work and childcare to be able to leave him. I’ve brought it up lately and he doesn’t see the big deal. He thinks I need to move on. “Staying together for the kids” and a stable life: worth it? It’s the biggest cliché, I know. I feel like I would have left a long time ago if I wasn’t pregnant or in the depths of postpartum when this stuff was happening. And now we have Erin, I’m floored. I want our family. But I feel he may have broken it.

PsychedelicFur How can I help my partner with separation anxiety?
  • replies: 1

Hello everyone, it's PsychedelicFur. Recently, I encountered an issue with my significant other which made me feel extremely drained and overwhelmed. I love my partner. He is kind hearted, affectionate, sweet and he treats me properly. However, he ha... View more

Hello everyone, it's PsychedelicFur. Recently, I encountered an issue with my significant other which made me feel extremely drained and overwhelmed. I love my partner. He is kind hearted, affectionate, sweet and he treats me properly. However, he has very evident separation anxiety. He doesn't like leaving me to go back to his unit. He detests the place where he is living. And he is always so reluctant and hesitate to return to his 'home'. I spend hours reassuring him that I won't leave him permanently despite the fact I have to leave his house (when I stay over) due to personal commitments. Consequently, he gets really upset when I leave him and he does not like to be away from me for long periods of time. I understand and I can empathize with his suffering and feelings of loneliness and stress. I care about him deeply but I don't quite know how to assist him with his separation anxiety. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you very much, PsychedelicFur.

AccidentlyUncontrolled Feeling like there's no way out
  • replies: 7

My best friend and I have been going through issues for a year to understand the issue you need to understand the complexity so there will be a fair bit of backstory. The start of 2021 we realised we wanted to be more then friends but my history made... View more

My best friend and I have been going through issues for a year to understand the issue you need to understand the complexity so there will be a fair bit of backstory. The start of 2021 we realised we wanted to be more then friends but my history made me very nervous to do so. (Most of my exes have cheated but my ex did while I lived in his house and that was a whole new betrayal of trust). I had been single two years due to this. My best friend would constantly be the person next to me telling me how amazing I was and how I deserved better. so when I eventually decided to enter a relationship it was mid feb and we started dating on valentines day. His always had strict girlfriends but I've always prided myself in the fact that I'm not the girl who has to check their partners phone or doesn't let him talk to girls cause that's just not who I am. After 2 months I went on his phone and saw he was on OF so I went open his account to look at girls and saw that he was talking to many a people on there. this immediately brought back all my insecurity around the issue. I understand that its a bit of a grey area and I get that so we talked about it and decided it was better he didn't for the time being and as my anxiety settles we could have another conversation about it. Time past and I was letting him talk to them again cause quite honestly it didn't bother me as much cause I was still getting a lot of attention. As things progressed there were consistent arguments due to them always getting more attention then me. if I wasn't next to him it wasn't worth his time. It progressed to a point where we eventually agreed its just gonna be easier without him talking to other people. He proceeded to do this so I drew a line in the sand saying we are just friends but if he was to want more in the future I would need to see self control. This has been were we have been at for the last 6 months. He is now at a point where he doesn't do the wrong thing but also to him thats enough but to me it isn't. He doesn't ask if I'm okay, he doesn't care how I feel most our conversations start with me being upset but cause he feels bad I'm always cheering him up and none of my problems are being solved. Ive told him a few times now I am literally on the edge of a mental break all the time it is driving me insane. But he also comes from a family that didnt teach him to care about anyone or how to clean or care for people. Ive done so much to help him so I can't just bail on him now.

Witchy76 New relationship or FWB
  • replies: 4

ok so I’ve started dating again. But he’s a truck driver who works 7 days a week. We catch up once or twice a week for dinner. He pays for everything he’s very gentlemanly. He pays for a hotel room for me as I have a two hour drive. He will stay till... View more

ok so I’ve started dating again. But he’s a truck driver who works 7 days a week. We catch up once or twice a week for dinner. He pays for everything he’s very gentlemanly. He pays for a hotel room for me as I have a two hour drive. He will stay till near midnight and then has to leave to get up at 4 am. We text everyday he rings me all the time. We both enjoy each others company and miss each other for the whole week.my dilemma is I want more then this but he’s happy catching up like we do. Says I’m the highlight of his week. I dunno 🤷‍ What to do or think. It would be nice to have someone to wake up to in the morning and go to bed with at night time. Lately all I seem to do is date guys like this. Happy in their own spaces , enjoy your company but then are happy for you to go home until next time. 🤷‍

Bounty-b-lakes Caught me husband on a dating site
  • replies: 3

I recently discovered my husband on a dating site by finding the app on his phone. He has told me he is in a bad place mentally and that it had nothing to do with our marriage and he regrets doing it and hurting me. The thing is, this isn’t the first... View more

I recently discovered my husband on a dating site by finding the app on his phone. He has told me he is in a bad place mentally and that it had nothing to do with our marriage and he regrets doing it and hurting me. The thing is, this isn’t the first time.. and last time he blamed his mental health also. Any trust I had has gone. We have moved to a new state recently and are not near any family and friends, We have a 5 year old son. I feel stuck. I don’t know if I want to leave him and even if I did I don’t know how I could do that being that he is our main income earner. I don’t want to be alone, I don’t want to only see me son 50 percent of the time but I do want to trust my husband again I just don’t know how it’s possible. My mental health is suffering. Every time I’m alone all I can think about is what he did and how he hurt me.. I’m so lost and confused and would really appreciate some advise. We are going to book into marriage counselling soon.

Blue4u Feeling lost
  • replies: 1

I am struggling at the moment as my partner had a life changing fall back in April this year. I witness the whole incident.Falling onto the road causing multiple fractures from collarbone, elbow, ribs and pelvis. Airlifted by helicopter to ICU Trauma... View more

I am struggling at the moment as my partner had a life changing fall back in April this year. I witness the whole incident.Falling onto the road causing multiple fractures from collarbone, elbow, ribs and pelvis. Airlifted by helicopter to ICU Trauma at Westmead Hospital. Finally after 3 months he came home this week. I have endured the fall, the preparation of not surviving and the lasting disabilities he now has for life.The frail man struggling to perform daily tasks and me now his primary carer.I am so emotional and doubt my ability to live life this way. I feel guilty that I feel this way. I have overcome so much in my own life thanks to him. Anxiety and Panic disorder controlled me for most of my life until I reconnected with him. He gave me self belief and confidence to overcome my fears. I still have these demons but I control them not they me. I just feel life has become so overwhelming right now and am reaching out for some support.

Clover9312 Feeling pessimistic and disheartened about the future
  • replies: 10

I’m 28 years old and I have reached a point where I feel quite scared of the future and pessimistic about what’s in store for me. I worry about being single forever and Loneliness in general - despite having an active and satisfying social life. I di... View more

I’m 28 years old and I have reached a point where I feel quite scared of the future and pessimistic about what’s in store for me. I worry about being single forever and Loneliness in general - despite having an active and satisfying social life. I did have a special romantic relationship a couple of years ago. It was devastating when that ended, but I am still friends with my ex and see him regularly through work. I assure you that this has no real negative impact on my day to day life when I see him. It did take me a while to accept the break up, but I’ve spent a lot of time in therapy processing the experience. Sure, I do feel sad on rare occasions, but not like I used to. I speak to a therapist weekly, I read and journal - all things contributing to my self development and that I’ve been proud of. I felt ready to start dating at the beginning of the year again. I haven’t had much luck on the dating apps - nothing terrible, but no real connection with anyone and I don’t want to settle. Since I do have an anxiety about the future and being single forever, I have to admit that I did something very regretful last night. I contacted a “psychic” tarot reader, who appears to be reputable when I look at her website. I ordered an email reading and I opened my inbox this morning to the most disheartening reading from her. She told me that my heart chakra is blocked, possibly from me not processing my past relationship and she said that she can’t “honestly” see me finding love anytime soon, but it seems I will “eventually”. I have had tarot readings before that have been empowering - people interpret the cards in an inspirational way and give advice. But this left me feeling lousy! I know I have work to do and I definitely have been actively doing work on myself for a very very long time, but this in no way inspired or motivated me. She just left me feeling broken. She didn’t try to make me purchase anything to “unblock this”, so I don’t think it’s a scam, but she has left me feeling like there isn’t much hope for the future. If she were able to intuitively look into my situation, she would’ve surely seen that I’m at least trying. Anyway, it only fed into my fear of not finding a person I can connect with romantically and start a family with. My day has really been impacted. I’m sorry that my post took a strange turn with the psychic element here! I really wish I hadn’t contacted this person for reassurance. I feel very alone.

Karen0901 Mum guilt
  • replies: 3

I have a son. He's 3 and a half. My sister in law is pregnant and my son has said he wants a sibling to me when he found out. I have infertility. My son was a result of 7 years of IVF. I have tried to give him a sibling but it hasn't worked. After my... View more

I have a son. He's 3 and a half. My sister in law is pregnant and my son has said he wants a sibling to me when he found out. I have infertility. My son was a result of 7 years of IVF. I have tried to give him a sibling but it hasn't worked. After my last miscarriage earlier in the year, my mental health has become bad and I fear trying again. I am also getting older. How do I deal with the guilt and anxiety? I feel so upset with myself and my life. I know I have tried my best but it doesn't change the reality of my situation.

HumbleBumble Should I hold on to or let go of my partner with depression?
  • replies: 5

I’m a nineteen-year-old female with a boyfriend I haven’t seen for two whole months since he fell into another episode of his previously diagnosed clinical depression. I thought it wouldn’t last for long because now he’s got me – someone who loves hi... View more

I’m a nineteen-year-old female with a boyfriend I haven’t seen for two whole months since he fell into another episode of his previously diagnosed clinical depression. I thought it wouldn’t last for long because now he’s got me – someone who loves him to infinity and who has treated him better than anyone else in his life has – but boy was I wrong. I’ve dealt with having a friend in school who had depression, and the only thing I could do for myself in the end was stop being friends with them because they were constantly bringing me down along with them and I couldn’t handle it anymore. However, my current situation is different because I’m actually in a relationship with this person and I’d do absolutely anything to keep what we used to have a possibility for the near future, although I know there’s a certain time I won’t be able to stand it anymore, and I can feel it getting closer now that we’re at the two month mark. My boyfriend has told me that he hates and is embarrassed of himself, isn’t worth it, doesn’t want to be around people at all, isn’t passionate about anything and doesn’t see what the point of life is. Hearing this constantly is destroying me, but I’m trying my hardest to hold on for him because he’s expressed that he doesn’t want to break up with me by saying things such as “People I have yet to meet...” [talking about my family and friends], but I just don’t know what to do anymore. He isn’t seeking help and doesn’t want to, so what am I supposed to do? I miss how we used to be so badly. All the sweet words, spending time together, cuddles, kisses and intimate times are only some of the things I really crave in life, and not receiving any of it for two whole months has driven me insane. I believe that this boy deserves the entire world after what he’s been through in life, and I want to be the one who can give that to him because I’m so in love with this gentle human. He’s everything I could ever want in a significant other, but the universe is really testing me. I’m so lost. Someone please help me by letting me know what actions to take in regards to this situation. I love him so much, but should I focus more on myself and what I need in a healthy relationship?