Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Pinned discussions

Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Kate65 Lonely and depressed
  • replies: 5

I am lonely and depressed. I am an "older" woman and I am lonely and depressed. I am married but we live separately under the same roof since 2016 because I have meet his son and he hate his son. Don't ask me why but I just wanted to have my own opin... View more

I am lonely and depressed. I am an "older" woman and I am lonely and depressed. I am married but we live separately under the same roof since 2016 because I have meet his son and he hate his son. Don't ask me why but I just wanted to have my own opinion. . We argue all day long and the only quiet time I can have is when I stay in my bedroom with my dog. Sometimes for all day so I stay in my pajamas what the point to dress on? . I do not have family, I do not have friends, my husband , who as a type of mental illness, hate people. We live in a regional area, and I don't have asked for. I don't and can't drive so I rely on him. I was born and raise in another Country and I just have him. I want to go away and he is ok to let me go but financially this is impossible at the moment this is why we share the house. Sometime I want to end all that. What the point to live this nightmare? I am too old for re start again.

Tuppeny My husband is in the later stages of Alzheimer’s
  • replies: 5

Hi My husband is in the later stages of Alzheimer’s. I recently placed him into a home as I have had breast cancer surgery and soon to start on radiation treatment. I have cared for him since he returned from Vietnam with PTSD and high anxiety. He wa... View more

Hi My husband is in the later stages of Alzheimer’s. I recently placed him into a home as I have had breast cancer surgery and soon to start on radiation treatment. I have cared for him since he returned from Vietnam with PTSD and high anxiety. He was an alcoholic, has been sober for 22 years.After a sketchy work history he retired 33 years ago and we were given pensions from DVA. life has had its ups and downs with him. I love and care about him because he’s a human being not because I am in love with him. Love went out of our relationship some 45 plus years ago after the children were born. He thinks that he is coming home when I get well again. He doesn’t really seem to understand about cancer and treatments and insists that he could look after me and himself and I know he can’t do either. My body might repair but I feel that my mind is going to take a lot longer. I’m not used to displaying my feelings or telling someone face to face how I feel. I’ve learnt over the years to be strong and independent and keep how I am feeling to myself. So why do I feel guilty about placing him into a home and when will this guilt go away. I don’t want to talk to him on the phone or in person, It’s the same conversation over and over about when he gets home. He is grabbing at straws to persuade me that he can be at home. Comes up with all sorts of things.He thinks he’s in respite care for a short time while I recover and that’s the way it was suggested for me to handle this. I really want to tell him the truth and I know that one day I will have to. I need to rid myself of this guilt. I know that I am doing the right thing for my own physical and mental health. Being on my own for a few weeks has made me realise how run down I was and how much freedom I now have. Has anyone on here been in a similar situation and can tell me if I will ever wake up one day and not feel bad about what I have done. I keep telling myself that I shouldn’t feel bad after all that’s happened since he returned from Vietnam. Sorry I have rambled on a bit. I tend to write as I think and talk.

N888 Teenage daughter
  • replies: 31

Does anyone feel like their 20 year old daughter hates them? Or like walking on egg shells around her. What every i say, she twists it around to make out that ive said something wrong and turns into an arguement. Does anyone have any advice please...... View more

Does anyone feel like their 20 year old daughter hates them? Or like walking on egg shells around her. What every i say, she twists it around to make out that ive said something wrong and turns into an arguement. Does anyone have any advice please....

N888 Teenage daughter
  • replies: 21

What do you do if you find alcohol in your daughters room? Can anyone give me some advice please?She has such an unhealthy lifestyle. Doesnt exercise, drinks sugar drinks, eats unhealthy food. (never at home). Please help......

What do you do if you find alcohol in your daughters room? Can anyone give me some advice please?She has such an unhealthy lifestyle. Doesnt exercise, drinks sugar drinks, eats unhealthy food. (never at home). Please help......

EAbubs Partner wants to move back to Perth without me
  • replies: 2

I live in Melbourne. He moved here to be with me and after 1 year of living in Melbourne he now tells me he wants to move back to perth because: the economy is not good, Victoria is expensive, his family and friends are back in Perth, he is unhappy w... View more

I live in Melbourne. He moved here to be with me and after 1 year of living in Melbourne he now tells me he wants to move back to perth because: the economy is not good, Victoria is expensive, his family and friends are back in Perth, he is unhappy with the company he works for. I suggested changing companies and moving to a different suburb but he is not wanting to try those suggestions. He says he is miserable here and wants family/friends support and the support I have given him is different to what he needs. Now he tells me we can still be together while he is still here but we will have to break up once he leaves as he has no intentions of moving back to Melbourne. I feel confused, isolated and betrayed. We had plans to build a life together and I feel like he is throwing all that away for family and friends and work. I feel like he is quitting on me and he is running away thinking the grass is greener on the other side.

novaLilysmum Issues with mentally challenged brother and family members
  • replies: 5

Hi. My mentally challenged(schizophrenics) brother is about to move into lower level care. I am concerned because he has hygiene and safety issues and he is basically living unsupervised. The hygiene dose not concern me but the safety issue dose. Thi... View more

Hi. My mentally challenged(schizophrenics) brother is about to move into lower level care. I am concerned because he has hygiene and safety issues and he is basically living unsupervised. The hygiene dose not concern me but the safety issue dose. This is a 49 year old man who thinks it’s perfectly fine and SAFE the smoke in bed ……… and then he falls asleep with still light smoke in his hand. One of his previous accomodations threw him out because the fire brigade was called at midnight to put out the fire in his room. My oldest brother(53) said he is just “playing” that he knows better and is just doing it cause he knows I will run to his aid. My mother (72) is saying the same thing. Are they correct? Am I just being over protective? Should I step back and “make him grow up”? Sometimes he dose stupid things -that he knows he shouldn’t (his words).. and yet he dose them anyway- why? is it because he knows I will run to his aid? When he gets in trouble for his stupid action he says it’s not him- the schizophrenic made him do it….. yet mum has schizophrenia and she would never do something so stupid. I have recently come off anxiety medication due to heart issues and I really don’t want to go back onto them because my brother is just being stupid…….once he moves into the new accommodation I worry my will my anxiety increase?

Pippa_thebold Scared to tell parents about relationship
  • replies: 3

22f dating 25m Back story, 3 years ago dated this person my parents FORBADE me from dating them threaten (22m at the time) with violence etc. The reason they FORBADE us from dating was because he used to take drugs at festivals. Since then I have dat... View more

22f dating 25m Back story, 3 years ago dated this person my parents FORBADE me from dating them threaten (22m at the time) with violence etc. The reason they FORBADE us from dating was because he used to take drugs at festivals. Since then I have dated someone else lived with them since splitting I have moved back home with mum and dad. Context I'm a uni student who also works full time and does pay them rent. I ran into 25m again back in Feb and we have fallen back in love all over again. I want to be with this person for many reasons but I will run out of space. However, I have such intense and crippling anxiety about telling my parents. I am so scared that they are gonna react violently or kick me out. I love my parents but they do not take it lightly when their kids do something they don't like. I do see my partner as much as I can but my parents are always on my grill about where I am and how long I'm there etc. I love my partner and want to be with him all the time. I just don't know how to go about telling them, I am so scared of the fall out from that but I know I need to tell them. I guess I'm just looking for some advice?

perth_16 Partner wants to move interstate closer to family
  • replies: 4

My boyfriend (33) wants to move interstate to be closer to his parents. We’ve been together for 2.5 years. We had a bit of a rocky start but the past year has been amazing. We have lived together for 8 months, we speak about marriage and kids, and ha... View more

My boyfriend (33) wants to move interstate to be closer to his parents. We’ve been together for 2.5 years. We had a bit of a rocky start but the past year has been amazing. We have lived together for 8 months, we speak about marriage and kids, and have a rough time line for it all. He has been living here for the last 3 years however is originally from far interstate. He is very close to his parents and misses them a lot. We just spent Christmas with his family interstate and he was very upset leaving them at the airport to come home. Since we’ve been together my fear has been he will want to move back one day. It’s something I ask often for reassurance. I knew something was up with how upset he was on the plane ride home. I eventually got it out of him that he is considering move back. He wants me to come with him. I’ve told him before I won’t ever want to move there. I have a secure job, all my family is here and I feel I will need that when I do have kids (his argument is he wants his parents around too for kids). In addition to that, financially we will always be better off here. His parents are older (70) and he says he wants to be with them in their older age in case something happens. He is confused and hurting because he loves me. He says he hasn’t made a decision yet and needs time to think about it. He said he will go to a therapist about it. He doesn’t want to talk about it though at the moment. He feels he has to make a choice between me and his family. I feel like if he really did see me as his life partner, he wouldn’t leave, the only benefit of moving interstate is being closer to his family. We are currently still being a normal couple, happy as every but I can’t stop thinking about this, I feel empty knowing that everything we currently have could be over if/when he does make the call to move. This could be soon or in months, or years. I need advice, other peoples point of view on the situation, just anything. I can’t stop thinking about it. thank you

bubblegirl2121 Alone and upset
  • replies: 3

A big incident recently happened between my partner and i we no longer live together i feel very alone and isolated I feel like i have no one to turn to anymore he barely comes and see’s me and he barely ever talks to me now its like he just doesn’t ... View more

A big incident recently happened between my partner and i we no longer live together i feel very alone and isolated I feel like i have no one to turn to anymore he barely comes and see’s me and he barely ever talks to me now its like he just doesn’t love me anymore

Winston666 Looking for help with depression and anger issues
  • replies: 14

These days i seem to have zero tolerance for any drama and tend to anger quickly, which escalates quickly. it is getting to a point that it is affecting my marriage. i am by no means a physically violent person but can say some pretty hurtful things ... View more

These days i seem to have zero tolerance for any drama and tend to anger quickly, which escalates quickly. it is getting to a point that it is affecting my marriage. i am by no means a physically violent person but can say some pretty hurtful things when i feel i am defending myself. Any direction or advice would be greatly appreciated, i have never used this kind of forum to reach out but need help. Thanks.