I’m at a loss right now I’m spiralling my daughter is 3 and I work away but can’t find a job in town for the same amount of money she is loosing her childhood due to her dad I can not get him to understand listen to anything nor can my family his friends or day care he is so set in his own controlling ways nothing works I need to finally escape the abuse from him and the constant depression and misery but my daughter needs a life a good life she’s suffering so much he gets angry with her screams so deeply and loudly gives up after 2 nos and then looses says leave me alone to her fuck off leave me alone don’t touch me to the point she’s now doing all of this at daycare and about to be kicked out of daycare he doesn’t understand at all but I need help I need to know is there any trusting support out there that can allow me to keep my 7/7 job to afford life and have her watch looked after and safe she’s all I got I don’t have family to help it’s just me and her and she’s suffering so much with him she’s begging for his attention but only gets it when he’s angry I can’t keep staying in a place with someone like him I left due to the abuse to the point I didn’t think I could escape unless I killed myself and he holds that against me he says I walked out on my baby when I was hospitalised time and time again due to suicide I get told I’m a shit mother cause the house was always a mess when she was a baby due to her being colic and allergic to all baby formulas having to thicken and constant hospital trips and not only that I was suffering server post partum depression to the point of self harm I had my c section rip open he was working away then so I had to do it all alone then when I thought I’d have the help when he’d get back I got screamed at called ugly fat walls smashed cause I would be at his feet scream crying for help please just help me I can’t do this alone I had to walk from the hospital 1 hour to our home with no shoes she had no warm clothes when she was 1 cause I had heart attack symptoms and I rang him for help and all I got was wtf do you want and what do you think I can do about it leave me alone I need sleep I work in the morning then turned his phone off I had no nappies formula nothing for my daughter luckily the paramedics noticed all this and went home and grabbed what they could find for her but beyond that I want to leave for good with Bub but I have no one to help me I can’t go back on Centrelink payments as that couldn’t even cover rent food and fuel I always had to borrow money of people to get fuel or get some more food for myself or I just didn’t eat and then on top of that power everything I can’t do that all over again please is there any support options that can help me
I'd like to welcome you here to the Forum. It is a good place you have chosen as it has many people who have had the most horrible of times and now just want to help others.
I guess the first thing to say is that both you and your daughter are being badly abused, and that has had awful effects on both of you. Trying to take you life shows how bad it is, and your daughter mimicking abusive language when in daycare and having to feel anger is a substitute for love with her father.
There is no way you are a shit mother, and you did not run out on anyone. You simply are in an impossible situation. Can I suggest you give the professionals in abusive situations a ring, 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732)
The can give you advice as they are well used to these situations, and help you find services in your area to help you.
Another thing to try is our own 24/7 help line (1300 224 636) and talk with one of our councilors.
Is it possible for you to see your GP or the professional who treated you for depression and trying to take your life and see if they can help too? I now that may be awkward as it is hard enough just to keep going.
You did mention your family but I got the impression he got in the way and stopped the relationship -Did I get that right? I apologize I've got it wrong.
I am worried about you (and you little girl) and would like it if you felt like coming back here again