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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Aug82 Marriage Breakdown
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone, My wife of only 3 years left me about 6 months ago after revealing that she has been unfaithful to me multiple times over our 3 year marriage and 7 year relationship. This was a huge shock to me as i really loved (and probably still love... View more

Hi everyone, My wife of only 3 years left me about 6 months ago after revealing that she has been unfaithful to me multiple times over our 3 year marriage and 7 year relationship. This was a huge shock to me as i really loved (and probably still love) this person and imagined that i was going to start a family and spend the rest of my life with her. Anyway I was completely devastated and had to go to a physiologist to get myself back on my feet. And to add to everything she basically cleaned out our savings and has left me in a pretty bad financial situation. Unfortunately I also found out through 3rd parties that she had been having an affair with someone that she worked with and had been planning on leaving me for a while. I am so devastated and betrayed by all this. Its basically all I think about and I feel like such a fool to have been duped like this by someone I loved so much. We live in a relatively small town and I just want to move away from everything and start afresh but my financial situation won't allow me to do it at the moment. The other thing I worry about is how I can ever trust anyone again, at the moment I feel so bitter and angry and sad about relationships. I really can't see myself getting over this.

musiclover101 Fighting Family
  • replies: 1

I find that im always fighting with my parents, and its breaking me mentally. I find that im constantly in tears after fighting with them, and it is ALL the time. Over the littlest things. Im not the perfect child, I will admit that. But it is becomi... View more

I find that im always fighting with my parents, and its breaking me mentally. I find that im constantly in tears after fighting with them, and it is ALL the time. Over the littlest things. Im not the perfect child, I will admit that. But it is becoming too much, so much that I feel like i dont even have a relationship with them anymore. Thanks in advance x

Little_Help Major Life Events
  • replies: 1

A recent major life event triggered severe anxiety and caused me to feel tingling, exhaustion, upset stomach, and became very overwhellem and huge amounts of crying, i miss my family. The event was moving into my new place with my partner who i met 5... View more

A recent major life event triggered severe anxiety and caused me to feel tingling, exhaustion, upset stomach, and became very overwhellem and huge amounts of crying, i miss my family. The event was moving into my new place with my partner who i met 5 years ago. The sad part was that i realised i was not going to go home. I think when i went to boarding school and left home at 14 has a link to my severe anxiety and maybe some loss and grief. Even though at a young age i missed my family at Boarding school. The first time i went to boarding school my mum said if you dont like it after a week you can come home. I didnt like it and decided to come home. However once i decided to call home i felt better and decided to stay for 4 more year.However now with any major life event i will trigger severe anxiety and want to go home. I can get bad thoughts and feel sick as mentioned above. I have tried things such as avoiding the anxiety such as not going on planes or holidays as i miss my family and i feel like i want to go home. I always thought at boarding school i would go home, however i never went back home. When i was home sick or missing family at boarding school i would study hard as i dont like the feeling. I then got into university because of my good marks. I felt so sick the first week of uni.

sydneyharbour17 Dealing with Depressed and Apathetic Boyfriend
  • replies: 25

I'm 19 years old and have been with my boyfriend for nearly three years. When I met him at school he was teased about having no feelings as he never really responded to anything, regardless or whether it was happy, sad, angry, etc. Anyways, we became... View more

I'm 19 years old and have been with my boyfriend for nearly three years. When I met him at school he was teased about having no feelings as he never really responded to anything, regardless or whether it was happy, sad, angry, etc. Anyways, we became close friends and ended up getting together. A few months after this he revealed that he had been depressed, except instead of feeling characteristic sadness, he simply didn't feel anything. He reassured me that our relationship had fixed it and that "I made him feel happy when he thought he never would be again." Our relationship was pure bliss for about the next year and a half, maybe a bit longer. Following this, I felt something change in him, like something was off although his behaviour didn't seem drastically different. Just little things like not wanting to see me as much. He also dropped out of university which I found odd but not extremely so because he had never been the most enthusiastic student. However, several months later I found out that he'd been lying to me about many things, even things that were insignificant. He also began stealing money from his job and hanging around questionable new people. Upon finding all this out, his family and I were obviously extremely upset but he seemed not to have any empathy whatsoever. I continued to try to make the relationship work but several months later he broke up with me saying that he didn't love me anymore and that he saw no future between us. During the breakup he treated me very poorly, namely by stringing me along. At the same time, he made more strange friends and began to use drugs recreationally. He ended up being thrown out of home and 2 days later turned up on my doorstep begging for forgiveness and help for mental health issues. I took him back, as did his family, but he then refused to get help. We let it go because for the next month and a half he went back to normal, treating everyone with love and respect. However, one night he revealed to me that he had been depressed (no emotions) again for the last year which is when his odd behaviour began. He has since been to a GP/psychologist but tells me that it probably won't help us and that he can't give me his 100% and that I deserve better. I am very confused because I don't know how much of what he is saying/doing is his illness and how much is him. I love him very much and don't want to lose him. I am currently giving him space to think about our relationship. Help?

Charlie_C Housemate problems
  • replies: 3

Hi Everyone, I'm new and this is my first time posting. I'm sure this isn't the first time someone has posted about this, but I couldn't find any previous examples so I'm posting a new thread. Hopefully it helps other people too. I suffer from depres... View more

Hi Everyone, I'm new and this is my first time posting. I'm sure this isn't the first time someone has posted about this, but I couldn't find any previous examples so I'm posting a new thread. Hopefully it helps other people too. I suffer from depression and anxiety. I'm a pretty chilled out guy, social but sensitive as well. My main problem at the moment is my housemates. What do you do when a housemate you were friends with suddenly goes cold on you, refuses to talk to you about it, and avoids contact as much as possible? The possibility that I'm over-imagining things has definitely crossed my mind. But an example from tonight really seems to demonstrate the main problem of deliberate avoidance of communication. I was home, watching TV in the lounge room. My 2 housemates came home, with a friend who is staying with us for a few weeks. I had already called one of the housemates a few hours earlier, saying that I thought we needed to talk - specifically about the trouble the 3rd housemate and I have had. We agreed to talk about it tomorrow night. Not one of them came in to say hi. I know, I know, some people really hate repetitive conversations based around "how are you?". I get that, and I do try to avoid it sometimes. But seeing as I hadn't even seen them in the morning (they leave early for work), doesn't that really say that there is a problem? Surely saying "hey" when you come isn't that big of a deal? I'm pretty sure at this stage (it's been going on for 2 months) it's too late and I need to move out. But I have tried talking to them, as a group with the three of us and individually to each of them. And still nothing. If anyone has any advice on how to deal with this type of situation I'd really appreciate it. Thanks

Flourish Forced to have an abortion
  • replies: 6

To the point straight away I was forced to have an abortion after taking all the proper contraception controls 6mths into seeing a guy. At the time had just had a baby to another guy who after a lot of grief(very long story we parted ways) the though... View more

To the point straight away I was forced to have an abortion after taking all the proper contraception controls 6mths into seeing a guy. At the time had just had a baby to another guy who after a lot of grief(very long story we parted ways) the thought of being a single mum with 2 kids wasn't the best option so proceeded with the abortion. It has then became an on&off relationship which I feel that this incident was the turning point for the relationship, myself never fully being able to recover from terminating twins! It has now come to the point where he has partially walked away as he believes I'm happy being depressed and negative all the time. I want to fully cut off all contact with him as I know it's not helping my mental stability, I just can't seem to let go?? I have no friends due to a previous relationship, no family and my psychologist never seems to have stragies to help. Any advice would be greatful as right now I'm starting to think of giving up my daughter to foster family.....

CattleMan88 How do I help my partner and myself?
  • replies: 58

My partner has decided to leave me due to her battle with depression. I still cant believe that it has come to this, as we have had a plutonic relationship. She has said that she cannot put love into me if she can't do it to herself. I understand tha... View more

My partner has decided to leave me due to her battle with depression. I still cant believe that it has come to this, as we have had a plutonic relationship. She has said that she cannot put love into me if she can't do it to herself. I understand that you need to love yourself before loving another, but even though I've said ill be here for her and do whatever I have to do for her, she still believes that this is the right answer.Honestly, I feel like a part of me has been ripped out and yes, I would do anything for her so she can get the help in which she needs however at the same time i want her to be here with me. Is this selfish?One day she loves me and the next she decides this is the best decision for her so she can seek help.She has made plans to see her doctor and I'm glad she told me this. The decision wasn't made overnight, but she never mentioned anything about it to me over the past few weeks. Yes, i noticed her change and she had previously said to me thats the needed her space. I went from seeing her everyday and enjoying the things that we both love and brought us together, to seeing her once a week and now none.I honestly don't know what to do. She means the world to me and it hurts so much not only for me with how I'm feeling right now, but to see her suffer like this and for it to make her push me away.Do I seek help? My whole world changed for the good because of her, and for that I'm grateful. But now I sit at home alone and wish she was there to walk up behind me and give me that kiss and say she loves me.We had big plans for the future, as a couple and dreams like all of us have. I just feel helpless.I've never felt this way about anyone in my life, and like a flash she’s gone.Yeah I want her to get the help she needs and for her to feel like a normal person again. Yes one day i’d love to hear the doorbell ring and she’s standing at the door, i would greet her with open arms.I don’t care how long have to wait, i will be waiting for her and i hope she knows that.

Is_love_enough_ When is it time to put me first?
  • replies: 9

My husband and I have been together since teenagers, going on 15 years, both in our 30's now. We are very different, but now it's really starting to matter. He's always been a binge drinker often mixing with drugs, generally ending up in a drunken di... View more

My husband and I have been together since teenagers, going on 15 years, both in our 30's now. We are very different, but now it's really starting to matter. He's always been a binge drinker often mixing with drugs, generally ending up in a drunken disaster, ie, getting lost with no phone, getting headbutted by a bouncer etc. I used to be able to have a few drinks myself and have fun, but now I worry so much about him I can never relax and have a good time with him around. But now it's gotten worse, he's started to dabble with ICE & it is something I most definitely don't want anything to do with. I confronted him about it & he said he was just trying it & wasn't doing it anymore. But now I'm pretty sure he is using again & I don't know what to do. I love him so much & I know he loves me, but he's just so depressed about his life, says he hates it & nothing but death will fix it. I don't think he's suicidal, but I just don't understand what's so shit about his life? We have well paying jobs, nice stuff, roof over our head, & each other. Does that mean he thinks life with me is shit? I try so hard to keep him happy, always walking on eggshells. My love for him is infinite, but at what point is love itself no longer enough? His unhappiness is making me unhappy & he won't do anything about it. He won't talk to me about anything, so there's no way he would ever see a counselor or anyone. The ice use us a big deal, but now it's much more than that, there's a reason he's doing it & he just won't let me in. Im at a crossroads as to whether or not to leave him, I worry so much about him & what he would do, where he would go, would he become a full blown addict? I don't want that for him. But I'm suffering so much anxiety & worrying myself sick with what to do. I often think that it would be so much easier if one of us died so I didn't have to choose. I'm so exhausted.

D_amp_Asupport Lonely
  • replies: 3

Hey All, I've been separated for six months and living alone for the first time. I have Borderline Personality Disorder. I am keeping as busy as possible, but when I get home to an empty house I really struggle. I do voluntary work and belong to seve... View more

Hey All, I've been separated for six months and living alone for the first time. I have Borderline Personality Disorder. I am keeping as busy as possible, but when I get home to an empty house I really struggle. I do voluntary work and belong to several groups, but I find I am constantly on dating sites. Any suggestions welcome. TIA

Spent At a crossroads
  • replies: 7

Hi all, I'm at a point where I need to talk, and decide which way I'm going. I'm 41, and been married for 8 years. I have 2 beautiful girls 4 and 5. My situation is that my wife and kids live in a regional town where my wife works in the family busin... View more

Hi all, I'm at a point where I need to talk, and decide which way I'm going. I'm 41, and been married for 8 years. I have 2 beautiful girls 4 and 5. My situation is that my wife and kids live in a regional town where my wife works in the family business, and my kids go to school there. I'm currently trying to make the move up there as well, to live in the nice house we are buying, and make a life for us in our regional paradise. Finances are tight, though we're not poor. The decisions for our living arrangements were decided jointly, as was the decision to buy the luxury house in the regional area. Finances are tight and we were supposed to be in a holding pattern for a year or so, (ie survival mode) so we could pay down some debt and reconsolidate. My wife has been spending up big, doing a lot of renovations (most of which are cosmetic, and not urgent), replacing all the kitchen gadgets, etc. She works part time and we'd agreed a budget, but she constantly has her hand out for bill money, wants a new car etc. I've been sticking to the budget and sending what money I can. The thing is, that I am constantly insulted, belittled, called a dud dad. I get screamed at for the most trivial things (eg one of my daughters shoes couldn't be found, resulting in me being screamed at for an hour - later I found it in a toy box). I get blamed for things that I could not conceivably be at fault for (eg my wife missed a school mothers day event, and my daughter was in tears. I was working on site at the time, though this was apparently my fault, because my wife shouldn't have to work at all). I work constantly (work, finishing renovations in capital city house so it can be rented, work on regional house, when I'm there), but nothing I do is right, or good enough. I finish something that was requested, but I did it all wrong. I have a phone full of insulting sms's. I am berated if I do anything for me, such as hobbies. I am often threatened with divorce, she'll "take everything I've got and not have to work due to maintenance", and right now, divorce seems like a good choice to escape. If I go down this route, it will be messy, and I will struggle to be able to see my kids due to distance, which will break my heart (and theirs). Have tried some counselling - everything was my fault. I am crippled by indecisions and am utterly spent emotionally, and physically exhausted. I cry often and am struggling to cope with the pressure.