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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Govecomm lonely and depressed after breakup.
  • replies: 6

I have suffered anxiety and depression for many years and recently broke up with my partner after a 20 year relationship, in all the time he never understood my depression and now that I feel that I am free off his judgment and expectations I am stru... View more

I have suffered anxiety and depression for many years and recently broke up with my partner after a 20 year relationship, in all the time he never understood my depression and now that I feel that I am free off his judgment and expectations I am struggling at the moment, feeling lonely needing someone to hold me (not that we did that for the last two years of our relationship) just feeling a bit stuck.

ellesz How to open up/get help? (adoption, trust issues)
  • replies: 1

Hi there, just looking for some advice. I'm 22 right now but I've suffered from depression since I can remember and anxiety in more recent years. I was internationally adopted at 2 months and although I love my parents very much I've never had the co... View more

Hi there, just looking for some advice. I'm 22 right now but I've suffered from depression since I can remember and anxiety in more recent years. I was internationally adopted at 2 months and although I love my parents very much I've never had the connection that say, my best friend would have with her Mum. I find it hard to show affection, love, empathy and when I do it's very much forced.. because of this, I've learnt to never open up and remain private/closed. I choose how much of 'me' a person will get until I trust them (which is virtually never). I don't like burdening others with my issues but as of right now, it's agony. I wish the people around me knew what was going on but they don't. I'd like to tell my Mum/dad about the years of bullying or being sexually assaulted but I just can't bring myself to it. Because of my depression I lost many friends then basically deleted all social media & fell off the face of the earth. I don't want to be here anymore but I couldn't commit suicide because I don't want to hurt my parents yet if euthanasia was available, I'd take it. As of right now I feel damaged.. from the depression, anxiety, attachment, trust & abandonment issues. I just feel like there's no hope and no one would want me because I can't even keep a relationship. I do want help, I'd like to be happy again. I just feel so awkward talking to my parents or anyone about it. It took more than 10 years for me to tell just my best friend about how sad I actually was, she had no idea and that's how great of a facade I can put on. Something that really bothers me is when people at work for example question me about why I don't have a boyfriend or how I feel about being adopted/whether I want to search for my birth parents. I just feel like explaining my view & position is pointless because they will just say "I'm lucky" or "should be thankful", will tell me what they think, I think or won't understand that a lot of my issues may come from actually being Adopted. Yet I see other older adoptee's happily married, with kids & have made a life for themselves and I just wonder what is wrong with me.. I really just do not know where to start. My best friend is super busy with uni at the moment. Would it be better to talk to a therapist/counselor first? (Even that would be hard for me.. As a kid it failed because I never opened up. I almost feel ashamed to ask for any kind of help as to me, it would feel weak when I try to be strong). Thanks.

Abitscared Severe anxiety regarding engagement
  • replies: 6

Hi All, I am after some relationship and life advice. I’m 27 and have been with my girlfriend since we were 21. The pressure is really on me to propose at the moment and I’m feeling severe anxiety because of it which is making me question everything.... View more

Hi All, I am after some relationship and life advice. I’m 27 and have been with my girlfriend since we were 21. The pressure is really on me to propose at the moment and I’m feeling severe anxiety because of it which is making me question everything. About 2 years ago I had a real bout of anxiety where I was questioning if the relationship was right for me. I discussed this with her at the time and it put a lot of pressure on our relationship as you can imagine, but we pushed through. This manifested insecurities within her with regards to my commitment to her (which I totally understand) and as such she’s put a deadline on us being engaged by the end of this year or calling it off. I understand this, she can’t wait forever, but at the same I have so much anxiety that it totally clouds my mind. I spend hours thinking back and forth “Yes she’s right for me” and then “No I don’t know if this is right”. I believe some of this stems from the fact that my parents divorced when I was young which was a terrible thing to experience. At the same time I just feel so unsure sometimes. She’s a great girl and most of the time things are good, but I get so anxious when I consider marriage with her that I just think something must be wrong? Maybe my brain is trying to tell me something? She talks about wanting to buy a house and get married next year, then having kids no long after. When I imagine doing this my heart is constantly changing from excitement to anxiety and fear. The anxiety has been so bad this last week I’m hardly eating, I have pains in my chest and I feel nauseous. I wake up at 3am and can’t sleep because I’m just so stressed. It causes me to think that I’d rather just break up with her to relieve the pressure anymore, as much as I love her and I don’t want to be without her. In the end I feel like I’m going crazy and I don’t know what to do. Any advice at all would be great. Thanks everyone.

madds97 I have no friends
  • replies: 9

Hi, this is my first post So basically I'm at a really low point in my life right now, I'm really struggling. I'm feeling very lonely and isolated, and have no friends. I don't know what to do, and I feel like I'm getting worse everyday. This all cam... View more

Hi, this is my first post So basically I'm at a really low point in my life right now, I'm really struggling. I'm feeling very lonely and isolated, and have no friends. I don't know what to do, and I feel like I'm getting worse everyday. This all came about as I had to leave highschool after being hospitalised for depression. I lost my school friends as they moved on with their lives, and have been alone ever since. I don't really know how things are going to get better, and feel very hopeless for the future. Thankyou for taking the time to read my post Madds

eeking_through Struggling
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone, I'm struggling to know where to go... I've had panic attacks, anxiety and depression since i was 20 (now almost 40). I've been on and off AD's for the past 10 years as well as seeing physiatrists and psychologists over this time. I've be... View more

Hi everyone, I'm struggling to know where to go... I've had panic attacks, anxiety and depression since i was 20 (now almost 40). I've been on and off AD's for the past 10 years as well as seeing physiatrists and psychologists over this time. I've been in a relationship for almost 10 years now, she has always wanted to get married, have kids and travel but I have always felt too "unwell". She has been understanding and very supportive. Last month she wanted to "take a break" to see if she could keep going with me. I don't know what to do, she feels by staying with me she is having to give up her dreams & desires... I don't want her to leave, but I also don't want to hold her back any longer.

Jansmy Im just so lonely
  • replies: 5

I hate living alone.. I work fulltime so I have company in the day but the evenings are hell. I have a boyfriend of just over a year, we dont live together yet as he is too scared of moving in due to being burnt in a previous relationship. My childre... View more

I hate living alone.. I work fulltime so I have company in the day but the evenings are hell. I have a boyfriend of just over a year, we dont live together yet as he is too scared of moving in due to being burnt in a previous relationship. My children are grown and live interstate. My boyfriend does shifts so is normally at work in the evening so I sit at home alone and overthink everything then when I do see him I am so worked up over nothing that we end up arguing. No wonder he wont move in with me, but I just cant help it. I just feel so disconnected from everyone, like what am I and whats it all for? I can go days without really really connecting with someone. I seem to spend all my life crying. I do go to a couple of hobbie clubs during the week but as soon as I walk in through my front door Im crying again. I love my home but I hate it being empty, just like me

misskk partner works away
  • replies: 3

Hi. My partner is working away atm he works away all week and comes home either Friday night or some times works Saturday's so I then only see him for 1 night a week. My issue is I over think things especially at night. They do go out for dinner whil... View more

Hi. My partner is working away atm he works away all week and comes home either Friday night or some times works Saturday's so I then only see him for 1 night a week. My issue is I over think things especially at night. They do go out for dinner while down there the first thing I think of is he is being unfaithful to me. I get myself so worked up and end up crying myself to sleep every night.. we speak every night and he does tell me he loves me and I'm the only one for him and he doesn't even speak to over females. I just can't believe him I do love him dearly but this is just tearing me apart. Please help!

Mel... Grief
  • replies: 3

Im 26. I lost my best friend 3 years ago this month suddenly, a week later I lost my uncle in a car accident, yesterday would have been his 40th birthday. 2 years ago another uncle of mine was killed in a bar fight. Today, I got the news that my Nana... View more

Im 26. I lost my best friend 3 years ago this month suddenly, a week later I lost my uncle in a car accident, yesterday would have been his 40th birthday. 2 years ago another uncle of mine was killed in a bar fight. Today, I got the news that my Nana has just had a stroke and probably won't make it. I've had depression on and off for years now, before and during the grief of losing some of the most important people in my life. Right now, I feel like I might explode. I thought today was going to be a better day than yesterday. I don't know how I am going to do another funeral. I'd love some advice and some strength.

scuzzie45 Partners addiction getting overwhelming
  • replies: 8

This is my first post. I am not sure what to write. I am currently lying in bed following an argument with my partner about his marijuana addiction. People probably thinking I am crazy because its not an addictive drug, but I believe it is. Im not su... View more

This is my first post. I am not sure what to write. I am currently lying in bed following an argument with my partner about his marijuana addiction. People probably thinking I am crazy because its not an addictive drug, but I believe it is. Im not sure how to get through to my partner. I have urged him to seek help about it but he just wont. I am not sure what to do next. Sometimes we go out for a nice night out and enjoy ourselves but as soon as we get home he rushes straight to his stash to smoke, i have to drive him everywhere as a consequence. I have spent so long thinking it must be me maybe i am the problem he is trying to avoid. I have communicated this to him but he tells me it isnt me. We started using a safe to try and lock it away until weekends but he will still want it during the week and gets destructive when he doesn't. He has already broken the safe. I am usually a very motivated and happy person but this is really getting me down and i am worried it will pull me further and further down. I dont want to leave him because i love him and i know without help he would possibly spiral further into trouble and i would not want that for him.

kiara_18 Social Anxiety with Old Friends
  • replies: 1

Hello everyone, I am new to this forum and am very grateful that it exists. I am currently facing some depression and anxiety about a friendship group I had from high school. We have been friends for around 12 years and I feel like we have grown apar... View more

Hello everyone, I am new to this forum and am very grateful that it exists. I am currently facing some depression and anxiety about a friendship group I had from high school. We have been friends for around 12 years and I feel like we have grown apart. A few years ago when I was being bullied by another person in the group I felt like the girls were not there for me and really felt let down by it all. Of the group I had expected that a few of the girls would have said something, comforted me or checked if I was okay but no one did. So I gave up and stopped expecting. I completely withdrew from the group for about a year and half and no one really reached out. I made new friends and bless my fiancé (my rock) has always been there for me and we have a very loving life together along with our families and other friends. Lately after some work on myself, I decided that life long friends are hard to find, and after all that time apart maybe I should reach out. I did that and seemed to get not a lot back, from them collectively. I carry some resentment as I felt so alone because of them in the past, not to sound like a victim by any means. But its the same as ever. We are getting married next year and I was and am genuinely confused weather to invite this group of friends to our wedding. I love them and would help them in any way, but I feel like it's not a real friendship. They never exclude me personally, very inclusive and nice enough. But I feel anxious before and after seeing them as I feel that resentment build up. And also have no idea where I stand with them on a one on one level. I asked my self the question would they be upset to not be invited to our wedding and truely the answer I think would be more so upset they dont get to participate in a wedding not mine personally. Honestly it is getting me down, even though I have a lot to be happy and greatful about. I would love some guidance: - Should I speak to them and let them know my feelings and see if its all a misunderstanding over the last few years - Should I email them and say how i feel in a very kind respectful way, honour the friendship and part ways - Should I just hide away from them and delete them off all social media and start a new life Thank you all.