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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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new_beginning How do i get over my ex??
  • replies: 11

Its been 7 months since he left but its still as raw as it was day one. So much has happened in the last 7 months to make me want to hate him, for how he has treated me and our children and i hate the things that i have done and person i have become ... View more

Its been 7 months since he left but its still as raw as it was day one. So much has happened in the last 7 months to make me want to hate him, for how he has treated me and our children and i hate the things that i have done and person i have become out of hurt and frustration. During our relationship he cheated on me a number of times, one of those times while i was in labour with our daughter. He has at times made me feel like i was nothing,like our daughter who we planned to have together was nothing and i have given up so much of myself to try and make him happy. But nothing compared to how the last 7 months have been but now im just so lost. During the last 7 months he has ignored me so much. He hasnt paid a cent towards our daughter, never asks how she is going or my son who looked at him as a father for the last 3 years. Ill be trying to organise a time to see the children with him and ill say something he doesnt like and he will hang up on me (it doesnt have to be something mean directed at him, maybe im busy with something on a particular day so he hangs up) and this has made me so frustrated that i stupidly call him so many times trying to speak to him again. One day i think i called him 100 times.. its so stupid and pathetic but i cant stop myself from doing it. I just want to be heard and i get so frustrated when he doesnt even try even for the sake of the kids. In the last 7 months he has seen his daughter 5 times.. once even coming to my house to drop something off and she and my son were out the back playing and he didnt even bother to stick his head over the fence to say hi to them. It makes me so angry. This last weekend i tried to organise a play with my 2 kids and his other daughter as they all miss each other terribly but when i got to his house he had changed his mind and wouldnt let his daughter come play. We argued and i stupidly got out my car and keyed his car (coz its the only thing he really cares about) and ended up with me being thrown on my bum which i deserved as i shouldnt have done it. I dont know how to stop loving him, for who he used to be. I am struggling to give up on having my whole family back. I want to stop all my stupid actions, its so far from who i really am and feeling the need to tell him how his actions are affecting me when at the end of the day i know he doesnt care. How can i move past all the hurt and forget about the love, family and hopes and dreams i once had

Moongoddess UPDATED: Finding it hard to cope after breakup
  • replies: 7

Im 25 years old and have battled with depression most of my life but its been particularly hard lately. Ive not long gone through a break up with the man i thought was my soulmate. I was with him over 6 years and lived with him about 5.. im lost with... View more

Im 25 years old and have battled with depression most of my life but its been particularly hard lately. Ive not long gone through a break up with the man i thought was my soulmate. I was with him over 6 years and lived with him about 5.. im lost with how to live now.. and i actually wrote a poem today about how i feel thought i would share here im sure many feel the same.. anyways enjoy my poem: my heart all cracks, fractures and splinters, feels like a thousand winters, cold and all alone, no one to call my own. my heart does wither and decay, nothing to keep the pain at bay, so many restless nights, all my dreams filled with frights, no one to hear the screaming in my brain, the pressure is so much i feel i could go insane, hopelessness and despair, are what follow me everywhere. my eyes fill with tears, these feelings i feel ive had for years, shut down, broken and lost, to scared to pay the cost. how do i learn to live again...

hope_64 will I ?
  • replies: 7

I am 52 and scared that I will never meet anyone special to share my life with. I continue to push people away scared to let them into my world I have depression and know how hard it is for me sometimes so can only imagine how hard it is for someone ... View more

I am 52 and scared that I will never meet anyone special to share my life with. I continue to push people away scared to let them into my world I have depression and know how hard it is for me sometimes so can only imagine how hard it is for someone else to live with so feel it is not a fair thing to do to someone else any ideas to help break down the brick wall i have built myself.

Karenh Partner Working Away. Not Coping
  • replies: 2

Hi All, My partner works away 9 days on and off on a rotating roster. I know 9 days doesn't seem like long to some but for me, at the moment, it feels like a lifetime. I suffer from mixed anxiety and depression and have done..well..forever basically.... View more

Hi All, My partner works away 9 days on and off on a rotating roster. I know 9 days doesn't seem like long to some but for me, at the moment, it feels like a lifetime. I suffer from mixed anxiety and depression and have done..well..forever basically. I can usually manage with my techniques, exercise and eating well, but lately I am experiencing a yo-yo of emotions with him coming and going. I've tried everything. Getting out, talking to people, most people's advice is pretty flat or they don't understand why I am upset. From what I've read staying in contact with them as much as possible helps but I'm finding it harder and harder to talk to him while he's away. It makes it worse. He puts in alot of effort to be in contact. I love my partner and he is very kind and patient but the last time I can remember me being in a good place mentally was when I was single and didn't have to go through the coming and going. I feel like my life is in limbo when he's gone and I just cannot shake the anxiety. When he's home I'm happy but dread him leaving and count down the days. I feel like I'm being ungrateful and needy but I'm trying everything I can. Any advice? Anyone going through something similar? Sorry for the lengthy post guys. Xx

Lady_Lamington Is this normal?
  • replies: 2

My boyfriend of 3 years has traveled with his family to the UK, and he has no idea when he will return. They went over there for a family wedding. Since he is a UK citizen he has decided he wants to stay there and get some work for a while. I didn't ... View more

My boyfriend of 3 years has traveled with his family to the UK, and he has no idea when he will return. They went over there for a family wedding. Since he is a UK citizen he has decided he wants to stay there and get some work for a while. I didn't actually think he was going to do it in the end... things got complicated before he was due to leave (lack of funds, fighting with his family) so I didn't let it worry me. But then the time came around and he decided to do it. I'm really proud of him... there were so many factors telling him not to go, but he was brave and did it because he wanted to do it. But now we have no idea how long he will be there for. His flight home is open-ended, and he doesnt know if this could become 6 months or maybe 2 years. It's been one month already and I just can't seem to come to terms with it all. I'm sad all the time, which is not like me at all. I miss him so much, we barely get to talk due to the time difference (and his lack of credit). I have so much free time now. I didn't realize how much I relied on his company. I find myself crying all the time. Everything I do, every task I set myself seems like a distraction from my sadness. I feel I can't enjoy anything completely. Is this normal? To feel so empty and lonely? I'm fortunate enough to be surrounded by my lovin family, but I feel they grow tired on my constant moping. And their company just isn't the same. I just don't know how to cope.

Notavictim Separation - help
  • replies: 4

My husband and I have been together for about 7 years and we are currently separated and living apart for about two months now. It's been hard as though its allowing us to figure out what we each want it has also intensified our trust and other issue... View more

My husband and I have been together for about 7 years and we are currently separated and living apart for about two months now. It's been hard as though its allowing us to figure out what we each want it has also intensified our trust and other issues. The separation was initially caused by my husband telling me that he had been on tinder and had met a girl for coffee. Though nothing came of it, I was upset and told him I no longer trusted him. Though he initially apologised and acted contrite, of late he has been very secretive and suspicious answering texts in front of me and not answering calls around me. In addtion to this I found that he had gone on the Ashley Maddison website . His best friend is a serial philanderer as well as his boss. Yes we are separated but I feel that this behaviour is disrespectful to both our marriage contract and to me. My contribution to this is my lack of commitment in other ways due to my fear of being hurt as a result of my previous relationship. This has placed a strain on our marriage in that we have never travelled, gone on a honeymoon or saved for a house deposit. All things that I yearned to do but was too fearful to do so . Owing to being pushed into a corner I told this to my husband effectively, pushing things over the edge. I want to try to repair this relationship but my husband is upset with my lack of commitment and I continue to be upset with his behaviour and willingness to just throw it all away. Basically we both feel betrayed by each other. I am struggling with life at the moment especially with the stress from this relationship. I don't know what to do. I'm finding it difficult to do normal activities and the paranoia with regards to my husband's behaviour is a constant distraction. My husband has said he is currently processing. In the meantime I feel powerless and exhausted. Sam

Pink-wafer Relationship advice about a partner with depression who pushes people away when stressed
  • replies: 1

I'm 22yr girl and my partner is 27yr girl. We've been together now for 10months. My partner is from England and she's on a working holiday visa she is also recovering from depression. Ever since we've been together when she has her depressed days she... View more

I'm 22yr girl and my partner is 27yr girl. We've been together now for 10months. My partner is from England and she's on a working holiday visa she is also recovering from depression. Ever since we've been together when she has her depressed days she would say hurtful comments to me. She would say, i don't love you, I'm still in love with my ex, I've got no feelings for you and try and push me away. On her good days she'll tell me she loves me, I make her so happy and that she loves life with me. 2 times she's done it before I realised what she was doing and even she admitted that's what she was trying. We've been applying to move into our own place as at the moment we're in a shared place. I don't know if it's the stress with moving and looking for a place but her moods have been low and so recently she told me that she wanted to break up with me and that she was just using me as she wanted to stay in Australia and that she had zero feelings for me and that she was still in love with her ex, and now that she's calmed down she's saying that she loves me and misses me while I'm at wok. Also acts like nothing has happened. I don't know what to do. I don't know if this is another episode of her trying to push me away. What should I do? I want to help her. Thanks so much

Dillon5 Feeling overwhelmed - like things have and will never get better
  • replies: 3

feeling a little deflated looking at the grand scheme of things. There are people a lot worse off than me, and I'm not being abused and I do have friends whom I adore, but things still just don't add up here.. My family, social, love and work relatio... View more

feeling a little deflated looking at the grand scheme of things. There are people a lot worse off than me, and I'm not being abused and I do have friends whom I adore, but things still just don't add up here.. My family, social, love and work relationships are way out of balance, despite my overly high sense of self awareness and effort to battle through and improve things maturely and respectfully. My relationship with myself is good most days with hard work and perseverance, but then I have the familiar realisation come round, almost like a cycle in which I realise how fake my positivity and persistence is and I realise that overall, my life is a joke and I'm soooooo sick of trying to improve things. sometimes I just break down and want to give up, and just accept that I am a pathetic annoying loser who should stop kidding herself that she could one day actually have solid friendships or even just a best friend, a partner that treats her right, a nurturing home, a successful job - like it seems that most other people I know seem to have. (And that is NOT in my head!!) And don't even get me started on the social pressure in terms of appearance! i feel like I am a good bloody person and I deserve those things, especially with how positive I try to stay, the advice and listening I always grant others and how hard I work towards achieving my goals! But when nothing EVER goes right - and people always disregard you, bail on you, cut you off or talk over you, ignore you, abandon or manipulate you... as self pitying as it sounds, it honestly just seems like this life is never going to get better for me, and I should just accept it and move through the motions of my mediocre life and be done with it. Stop trying. I don't even know where to begin. I hate feelings!! I hate feeling not good enough. I hate people telling me it's all in my head and to 'be positive' when I am, most days, the most postive damn person in the room! I hate people that won't acknowledge reality. My reality that I am trying to reach out and express! I hate when people think sadness or loneliness is a disease or an inconvenience to their day that should be ignored, pretending that it doesn't exist, just 'play happy all the time!' I want to get back to (that uphill battle) of feeling positive, but there's just so much I want to offload, heavy stuff, petty day to day stuff... Hopefully this thread helps to get some real understanding where numerous councillors have fallen short

Boy_gorge Partner
  • replies: 2

Hi my name is Jess and I'm having some problems in my life atm n need some advice n some guideness n help. Well I'm 25 with 4 kids. I have been with my partner for about nearly 10 yrs and he disapproves with my family n friends he is always having a ... View more

Hi my name is Jess and I'm having some problems in my life atm n need some advice n some guideness n help. Well I'm 25 with 4 kids. I have been with my partner for about nearly 10 yrs and he disapproves with my family n friends he is always having a go at me about them n what they have to say about him but when he hear what he is like u will understand why they speak up for me. Well he used to hurt me in past and it has left and big impact in my life I feel very insure about myself n what others think about me cause of why he says about me.He has abused my family, smashed my mums car window, sold my brothers motorbike, thrown my mothers stuff in a vinnies bin, and accused me of sleeping with anybody I come in contact with. I'm too scared to make friends cause he will scare them away. One day I had a friend over from Tafe it was a girl we were having a few drinks n he just rocked up to my house out of the blue n made us feel very uncomfortable and then next morning he accused my friend of having a problem with him n saying that she was giving him dirty looks all night but there yet we were outside cause we were uncomfortable. He also just rocks up to house with out asking or notifying me some days I would come home n he is sitting at my front door waiting n he is always msging and asking where I am who I am with what am I doin when il be home. He never lets me go out with friends when ever I ask him to watch kids so I can go have a break n have fun with friends one night a month he says I'm gonna sleep with other men and that he don't trust me. He has had a go at my brother for no reason and my best mate he looked like he was gonna hit them and threatens to smash them if they step out of line n acussed my brother of touching one of my children n threatens to hurt my sisters bf cause my partner has said a few things to my sister n she has told her bf and he has said to my partner not to speak to her like that n to stay out of there stuff when it's got nothing to do with him. I'm scared to leave my partner. And I don't know what to think of all the things he does pls give me advice or something that can help. Be honest

Sizzar Girlfriend suffers from depression blocked me out of nowhere
  • replies: 10

Hi everyone I've been really down lately and it's happened all out of no where. My girlfriend of 3 months suffers from depression, bi polar and can often have axiety attacks. She knows how much we mean to each other and only last week. she said how n... View more

Hi everyone I've been really down lately and it's happened all out of no where. My girlfriend of 3 months suffers from depression, bi polar and can often have axiety attacks. She knows how much we mean to each other and only last week. she said how no boyfriend has ever treated her so well and spoiled her so much. However this past week she isn't allowed much access to her phone due tI health and family issues so I'm rarely able to communicate with her. I messaged her saying if she's okay and to to text me when she sees my message. My last messaged I asked something is odd between us she replied the next day will talk about it soon. 3 days later she didn't reply and I saw her updating he Twitter and checking Facebook like everything is fine when it's not. I know from her parents that deep down she is going through a rough patch however she hasn't replied or answered any of my calls all I was asking was if she was okay since I was really worried that something was wrong and we always prMoises to resolve any problems within a few hours so it doesn't effect her mentally and also so it jeopardize our relationship. She didn't end up replying and blocked my Facebook and phone number with no explanation. Is the relationship over? Or do I give it a few weeks break. I find it very odd because I asked her friends if she was ok and I was worried about her which they ended up not replying and blocked my Facebook aswell. Things were perfect and she had mentally improved so much since I we began dating All of a sudden everything has fallen apart and I'm not sure if it's all over