Depression and families stopping things happening

[CJs_mum]

hi

this may need a trigger warning.

just wanted to know if anyone else had ever felt this way...

Has this ever happened to you before?

You come up with what you think is a great idea (say for a small business, a job or something to do over the weekend or even type of car you'd like, a gift for someone's birthday, booking a holiday or whatever) and everyone puts you down, stops you from doing it, physically prevents you or hurts you so much, you're forced to give up... but 6-12 or so months later those same people tell you that you should do this brilliant idea they just came up with (the exact one you had) and force you into it, only it's too late to now and they wonder why you're upset or rolling your eyes or worse, they blame you for it not working right this second and are really demanding/angry/abusive about it.

Welcome to my life pretty much 24-7.

I'm so sick of it it's tempting to just go back into my old mental health ward just for them to stop blocking me or at least shut up about it.

My parents say "To physically and emotionally crush someone is wrong". So why does it happen all the time? Why do they do that to me?

they make me question myself -I'm just being selfish, dumb or not being mature when I start getting upset. How do I get over the past? How come I'm not "mature like them"? Why am I not getting anywhere in life, stupid? Why am I so stupid?

Ive seen several counsellors over the last few weeks and each one has basically said there's not much they can do. I'm not sure how to get my point across to them about how this behaviour in others affects me, to the point where I'm depressed, crying all the time and am so sick of it all...I don't know what to do. I've just been physically sick thinking about it all.

i need it all to stop.....Can someone please stop this merry-go-round, I'd like to get off.

Hope everyone else is ok

[Croix]

Dear CJs_mum~

Oh dear, this sounds familiar, unfortunately in my case from both sides 😞

As an example my partner wished to purchase a plastic wheelbarrow and I poo-pooed the idea believing it was fragile and would not last 5 minutes. So we went wheel-barrowless. 6 months later my partner was given the exact same wheel barrow and it's been great, light, sturdy functional. Not the most important example I know, but you get the idea.

My partner bewailed the fact we'd been without one for so long and that I'd been so negative, calling me (in the friendliest terms of course) I was a nuisance know-all. She went on the accuse herself of having been amazingly silly in listening to me in the first place.

The point I'm trying to make is that my partner has confidence in herself to say I'm wrong (and in me to take it in good humor) so it's no big deal.

If a person does not have this confidence then other person's idiocy and mistakes loom very much larger, and can cause untold grief as well as feelings of injustice and being ignored, just as you are saying.

Your councilors seem to have adopted a purely ornamental role, not very helpful I'm afraid. Treatments for anxiety and depression and failing to cope properly are not new.

As a complete layman I think you may well have an anxiety condition which needs addressing so you have the feelings of self-worth needed to firstly tell others when they are wrong, forgetful and inconsiderate, and secondly disregard their woeful efforts, for which you are in no way responsible.

Ok what do you think?

Croix (who apologizes if he has missed something important in your other threads)