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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Erica17 Breaking up
  • replies: 3

Hello, my partner and I recently had a huge fight and now he's wanting to leave me, but we haven't broke up yet. We've been together for 7+ years and I'm devastated. He's my best friend, and I feel so hopeless right now. I haven't been sleeping well,... View more

Hello, my partner and I recently had a huge fight and now he's wanting to leave me, but we haven't broke up yet. We've been together for 7+ years and I'm devastated. He's my best friend, and I feel so hopeless right now. I haven't been sleeping well, tossing and turning then waking up stressed thinking about what will happen. It's distracting me from work, I start to shake sometimes and have been breaking down a lot. I can't enjoy or do the things I like either due to thinking about it constantly.

kryssie85 Feeling so low, affected by a breakup
  • replies: 3

Hi there, Long story short, I ended my first relationship since separating with the father of my children about 6 weeks ago, which was about 18 months in duration . I felt it was a really healthy decision to make as although the guy I was seeing care... View more

Hi there, Long story short, I ended my first relationship since separating with the father of my children about 6 weeks ago, which was about 18 months in duration . I felt it was a really healthy decision to make as although the guy I was seeing cared about me, he was a heavy drinker and lost his licence several months ago for drink driving. I was easily led into drinking with him which I also tried to avoid as much as possible in case it interfered with my depression medication and other aspects of my life. He took it pretty hard when I ended it and I had to block him on social media and his number etc.I'll call him "J" in this post. I went on a date with a really nice guy two weeks ago which was fantastic! I'll call him "A". No pressure, just dinner and we really hit it off. A came over the next night to watch a movie and keep me company which was great, but J came over that night as well. I asked him to leave, he was remorseful and begging for me back, saying he was going to quit drinking. I said I'm sorry but its not healthy for me and I'm done. J came back several hours later when A was visiting, much to my embarrassment, with chocolates and a card. he then proceeded to leave me abusive voicemails which I deleted without bothering to listen to. In the whole month we'd been split he had no contact with me and he was verbally abusive when I left so this was unexpected. Anyway... so him coming over obviously didn't look good to A. I'm not only embarrassed by the whole situation, but this lovely guy has taken a huge step back and distanced himself, which has made me really upset. I really don't know what to do. Any help would be appreciated.

Guest_922 Am I over sensitive or do I have a problem.
  • replies: 2

Came home from work tonight and my husband is still sick with a cold. He has been taking cold and flu tablets with codiene and pseudoephridrine. Tonight he also drank a bottle of kahlua. He is now in the shed working out screaming and roaring and I a... View more

Came home from work tonight and my husband is still sick with a cold. He has been taking cold and flu tablets with codiene and pseudoephridrine. Tonight he also drank a bottle of kahlua. He is now in the shed working out screaming and roaring and I am worried. He has been passive aggressive swearing all night then suddenly nice and overly lovely again. I feel repulsed by his behaviour and he can sense it and told the kids that mummy hates daddy. In the past he has turned this aggression towards me but it rarely happens now a days and when it does it usually only verbal. But I just never feel safe when he drinks. It makes me depressed and I don't think I will ever be ok with it. Am I over sensitive? Do I need to get over it and laugh it off more as he would say? I wasn't prepared for it tonight as its a work night. Usually I have advanced notice, time to prepare like grand final day etc. how do I get over it so he doesn't get agitated with my repulsion.

Lonely22 Ask you out girl
  • replies: 21

Ladies, how do you prefer to be asked on a date, and in what circumstance? depending on your relationship with the guy, you're friends, just met, don't speak very often? Obviously by email, Facebook etc. are out of the question for most, but what sho... View more

Ladies, how do you prefer to be asked on a date, and in what circumstance? depending on your relationship with the guy, you're friends, just met, don't speak very often? Obviously by email, Facebook etc. are out of the question for most, but what should 'he' say to you? Also, how about a hand written letter? Not so much a love letter, but just expressing interest and a desire to get to know you more... Could this be an option for someone you rarely ever see, and don't have opportunity to speak to? I appreciate any advice here

LostAlmostEverything Ive lost almost everything help someone
  • replies: 18

Hi all first post here, I suffer depression and anxiety, in one month lost my job, wife, kids, dog and home. Im now living with my eldest son at my mothers house (shes on permanent life support and last legs) my ex is sleeping with a friend of mine..... View more

Hi all first post here, I suffer depression and anxiety, in one month lost my job, wife, kids, dog and home. Im now living with my eldest son at my mothers house (shes on permanent life support and last legs) my ex is sleeping with a friend of mine..I Have spent a week crying non stop and just want the pain to end...my whole life is destroyed and i dont know what to do...my ex and i still talk and i see the kids but she was the love of my life...12 years together and 3 children...due to get married next year.....im lost, confused, helpless and have no hope i feel i cant trust anyone.....

Dingbat1 Reaching out, Couple questions
  • replies: 5

Hello there; First time poster. First of all I would like to thank the community for being here and also being supportive. Had a read through a few posts and I'm very thankful that I can reach out in a place like this. I would like to ask for some ad... View more

Hello there; First time poster. First of all I would like to thank the community for being here and also being supportive. Had a read through a few posts and I'm very thankful that I can reach out in a place like this. I would like to ask for some advice to help deal with a friendship problem and to see if anyone has ideas on how to dull down the pain. The backstory is I spend most of my time online. It's where I'm most comfortable and have developed a lot of friendships with people all over the world. Over the past year or so I have been conversing with a person who I'd like to call L for now. Things were going great (as they usually do), we even both told each other we were interested in each other more than friends. I generally don't do internet relationships but I felt she was worth it. Over the past couple of months or so, our friendship has deteriorated. There haven't been any arguments or anything of that nature - I guess we just simply ran out of things to talk about? However recently (for a few weeks) she's started ignoring my posts and spending time on an online massive multiplayer game. We both played this game and she only recently came back. When I logged in she logged off within 30 seconds to 1 minute twice. My paranoia started to act up a bit so I began to ask her if things are okay. She said things were fine but the ignoring kept up. I decided to let her know that I was worried that our friendship was deteriorating and I didn't want us to end up like her past relationship where they simply just stopped talking. Her reply was "If something's wrong I will let you know. Don't interpret things that aren't there". Since then she has been offline on our messenger program for 3 days now, although I know she's still logging into the game for a majority of the day (Generally between 5-10 hours). I understand that this is a relatively small problem in the grand scheme of things but I am really struggling to cope with this life change. I am blaming myself for this and I don't think I should be (And to be clear I don't think there's any blame to be placed here). I'm also giving her space as I think that's the best course of action right now but I'm finding it hard to get away from the computer as this is where my socialising is. However my questions would be what have people done to take your mind off a GF/BF/friend that you've spent a lot of time with? Have you gone to a GP/Psych and did it help? Thank you for reading.

GemAndLogan Forgive and forget? Addiction
  • replies: 12

My partner and I have been together for 9 years. We have been through a lot together both good and bad. Last year however, I found myself in a position I never thought I'd be in. My partner started using and became addicted to ice behind my back and ... View more

My partner and I have been together for 9 years. We have been through a lot together both good and bad. Last year however, I found myself in a position I never thought I'd be in. My partner started using and became addicted to ice behind my back and all our trouble started. He hid his addiction from me until he started acting like a crazy person, he was a complete opposite of who is really is, he cheated on me, he broke the law and caused police to raid our home twice, he completely shut out everyone who is important and I found myself alone more often than not. He is now clean and has been clean for 4 months, he sees a counselor twice a week and gets drug tested weekly. He's not drinking or touching any drugs at all and is back to his old self. Of course, he wants to move on and leave the past behind him however I am still so hurt over what I was put through. Do I forgive the person he is knowing that the person who wronged me wasn't really him and support him for getting clean or do I up and leave knowing that the trust will never be there again? I'd love to move forward, I just dont know if I can

Nic05 Husband has anxiety, depression, OCD- effect on family
  • replies: 4

Hi, im new, so not sure what to expect or to write actually. Been married 28 years. Husband has had anxiet for 8 and more recently depression and now pretty severe OCD. i have 3 gorgoues kis- they are starting to feel the strain. They are 11, 13 and ... View more

Hi, im new, so not sure what to expect or to write actually. Been married 28 years. Husband has had anxiet for 8 and more recently depression and now pretty severe OCD. i have 3 gorgoues kis- they are starting to feel the strain. They are 11, 13 and 15. Their dad has basically become estranged from them. It's tricky as he is a secondary teacher at their school. They are constantly embarrassed because of his odd and inappropriate behaviour at school and at home. He doesn't talk to the kids anymore and he doesn't do anything with us- just sits on the couch either watching tv or drinking. The kids' dad has gone and my husband is a stranger. What to do? It's been a lot of time (8 yrs) and a lot of $ had gone on wasted appointments. I'm not sure what my best plan is. Thinking of my mental health but especially that of my kids. How healthy is this life for them? Suggestions?

CMF Tired, worn out, sick of being expected to do everything and not being respected.
  • replies: 81

Well not a good day for me. I am so down and out and sick of everything. My 2 older kids went interstate with their dad (my ex husband) last week for a few days as his new GF lives there. My eldest daughter cam home sick, coughing, sneezing etc. She ... View more

Well not a good day for me. I am so down and out and sick of everything. My 2 older kids went interstate with their dad (my ex husband) last week for a few days as his new GF lives there. My eldest daughter cam home sick, coughing, sneezing etc. She has ben sick for a week and still not better. My little one is now also coughing and sneezy. My ex husband has gone back interstate of course as he is renting an apartment there and goes back and forth every week. It frustrates me that his life just goes on like one big holiday while I am stuck looking after sick kids. He is a selfish liar, doesn't think he should have to do anything. Does not think about anyone but himself and putting on a show to impress people. He works for himself, always used the excuse of work to get out of things but clearly its just another lie as he can work from interstate while he visits his GF without any problem. I am so tired, not much sleep as the girls are coughing at night. My little ones dad does all his things first and I feel worries about us last and i'm so sick of it. I feel they both just expect me to deal with everything, making excuses to get out of any responsibility. I don't ask much of anyone but when I do I always have to be let down. Selfish, selfish, selfish liars. Am I that worthless to everyone? I mean seriously do they really expect me to just do everything? I feel like telling them both to go to hell and packing up and moving. It is so cold today. I cant take much more of everyone being sick and the cold weather.

EdithJayne I'm grieving for my old life
  • replies: 3

Hi, today I've finally hit rock bottom. in 2015 my partners wife died. I say wife because they were still legally married despite separating ten years earlier. 5 years of knowing her I got to know her and liked her very much. We now care for their tw... View more

Hi, today I've finally hit rock bottom. in 2015 my partners wife died. I say wife because they were still legally married despite separating ten years earlier. 5 years of knowing her I got to know her and liked her very much. We now care for their two kids. I'm sad that I dislike one of them. Sad that my former life is finished, sad that I resent their child and guilty at feeling this way. I have lost my sex drive. don't want to come home some days and angry that I feel trapped. My partner misses me but I'm no longer the same. We used do do things as a couple. Spend time on trips. I just see 5 years of tantrums and chaos and I can't breathe. He's given me every opportunity to go but I don't want to abandon him. I recently lost my Dad and it's as though my grief doesn't count. He was old after all. How do I find balance and peace again?