Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Start a discussion

KBgirl My boyfriend is pushing me away
  • replies: 6

My partner has depression & has been seeing someone for a couple of months now - he is now trying to push me away even though we have been fine up until he fell into this rut again..(a few months ago being his last, which we got through). He can stil... View more

My partner has depression & has been seeing someone for a couple of months now - he is now trying to push me away even though we have been fine up until he fell into this rut again..(a few months ago being his last, which we got through). He can still laugh and joke around with me like normal, but then quickly goes back to fighting something in his head and thinking he can't be with me.. He has no motivation to do anything, in general not just with me.. I am going to see someone this week but there is only so much I can say or do to help him, especially when his thoughts are not positive at the moment & he doesn't believe me that this happens and it comes and goes. Heeeps saying that he is not happy, but I make him happy and that he loves me and cares for me & he wants to go back to how he was a few years ago when he had motivation to do things etc.. I have been giving him as much space as I can the last couple of weeks and do believe that he needs it - I don't think that he is going to the psychologist and telling the truth about how he is feeling right now and what he is trying to do to me, as he got angry with me for accidentally telling his mum that he had depression as he said he didn't want anyone to know and wanted to do it by himself.. his mum is not very supportive of him and turns a blind eye to these things so I have tried to spawn to her about it and what is going on between us but she is not much help.. He said he also has no interest in having sex etc and not because of me he just doesn't want to. he is not taking medication as he does not want to go onto anything.. I am pretty stuck with how to deal with this situation and I really don't want advice telling me to walk away because being together a couple of years I won't leave him to go through this alone.

ITzMattrix He has depression, she has anxiety - Tips for making this relationship work?
  • replies: 2

Hi, I have suffered from depression on and off for almost three years and have been taking medication for it as part of my mental health plan with my GP. I have twice come off the medication only to last about 2 months before requiring it again. I fe... View more

Hi, I have suffered from depression on and off for almost three years and have been taking medication for it as part of my mental health plan with my GP. I have twice come off the medication only to last about 2 months before requiring it again. I feel that is may just be a life long thing for me but that is ok. This year I started dating the most amazing women, whom I love. She happens to have anxiety and has for quite a while, she hasn't had any medication for it that I know of but is strongly considering some councilling regarding it. Things were great whilst we were in the honeymoon phase of our relationship but just recently got really real and we have had some things to work through. During this time my depression returned with a bang. I am back treating it with my medication. It seems to me that we are now stuck in a vicious circle where my depression feeds her anxiety, which in turn seeing her struggle because of my depression feeds it further. Around and around we go. I am introverted and she is extroverted. I find I withdraw rather than open up as my natural response to tough times, where she absolutely needs to talk things through. That's the background. Now to the question. Is there anyone out there that has any experience being in a relationship like this one? We have this amazing connection and I truly believe that we will be together for the rest of our lives. I am trying to be very open about my depression and let her know when I am struggling and about what. I, however often find it very difficult to even put words and reasons together to describe why I am struggling. I don't want to hurt her or push her away. Any tips for how we can support each other would be great. Thank you

BeyondSad Feeling so sad - husband gone
  • replies: 6

Hi all... My husband has been verbally abusive for a few years. Before this started, he was a great husband and father. It usually happens after he has been drinking (I think he has a problem, he does not) and happens in front of our young child, whi... View more

Hi all... My husband has been verbally abusive for a few years. Before this started, he was a great husband and father. It usually happens after he has been drinking (I think he has a problem, he does not) and happens in front of our young child, which breaks me and is why I have kicked him out... this is the 3rd time Its been over a month and I can't cope. He doesn't see our son much (he has always been a good dad so I struggle with this). My son always down and constantly asks when will he see dad. He is too busy with his mates to care about us. I've been physically sick all week from stress and feeling sad. He has just thrown me (and his family) away. My heart is broken into a million pieces and I just need some advice to cope. Thank you for listening.

LittleCherubs To stay or go?
  • replies: 3

I am having trouble with my husband. He believed my depression was caused by my inplanon so had it taken out. He doesn't think I'm depressed anymore and forced me to make an appointment with my GP to have my meds reduced as he doesn't believe in them... View more

I am having trouble with my husband. He believed my depression was caused by my inplanon so had it taken out. He doesn't think I'm depressed anymore and forced me to make an appointment with my GP to have my meds reduced as he doesn't believe in them. ​All this is because we don't have sex anymore. I have no interest I or desire to and we fight about it all the time. The last big fight, he ended up calling us '2 separate people who live togther'. We have 2 kids. I don't know whether to stay for the kids or to leave

justconfused Normal Expectations in a Relationship?
  • replies: 6

Im not even sure where to begin. back when we first got together about 14yrs ago we were equal partners. i worked, he worked, we were both equal and it was good. Roll on pregnancy, weight gain, miscarriage..and struggling to loose the weight. another... View more

Im not even sure where to begin. back when we first got together about 14yrs ago we were equal partners. i worked, he worked, we were both equal and it was good. Roll on pregnancy, weight gain, miscarriage..and struggling to loose the weight. another pregnancy, successful, more weight gain and he was unhappy that i couldn't seem to loose the weight fast enough. after he told me he didn't find me attractive anymore i did everything i could and lost some weight (not all but a bit came off) and baby number 2 happened, followed by number 3. During this time i always got back to the same weight but never lost the extra 10kgs from the miscarried pregnancy. And it was always an issue. everything always comes back to me being too fat, and he's been waiting forever. i was a size 16. Even now (I'm a size 14) he still flys off the handle when he's in a bad mood and tells me i am fat, i have '30kg of blubber' to loose etc. I have to measure each week and send the results in. We argue a lot and tho i am careful to avoid arguments i do get angry too. He gets angry when i dont answer a message fast enough. he frequenrtly calls me names. He works away so most of the time its just me and the kids. He messages me every single break he has. i am expected to be up before he goes to work, and answer my phone every time he messages, if i don't i am in big trouble. even if he knows i am driving he will still message me. he gets annoyed when i am at friends and wants to know who is there. if i go somehwere that takes longer than it should he demands to know where else i have been. constantly accuses me of having an affair. I think i am starting to have anxiety as i get nervous and shaky around the time his breaks are coming on. he also expects nude photos and videos, every day he has off i am to send pics when he wakes up. he pressures me for anal and tells me i am a 'piss poor excuse coz i dont want to do it. he knows it hurts me but expects me to show grattitude and put a smile on my face. he wants to do 'rough' sex & wants me to slap or punch him and be angry. I am not comfortable with any of this and i no longer know what is "expected" and what isn't in a relationship. i feel i don't have any rights because i am a stay at home mum. i keep hoping it will go back to what it used to be like..then he tells me he loves me fat or skinny, no matter what. its like whiplash and i don't believe him anymore, i feel like property not "love"

Eagles_Supporter Bad text message
  • replies: 1

My mum, she lives in the country and so does my brother, I have lived in the city now for a few years. So mum is having problems working out how to use her iPhone, she ask me to take a look and try to fix an issue with her email. So after that I deci... View more

My mum, she lives in the country and so does my brother, I have lived in the city now for a few years. So mum is having problems working out how to use her iPhone, she ask me to take a look and try to fix an issue with her email. So after that I decided to close down her apps she had open and one of the apps was the text message app as I came across there was this photo of my brother in her text messages so I decided to have a look and under the photo was a message from my brother to mum saying... (Mod note: we've edited this portion of the post for offensive language) Now mum doesn't know any other people in the city a part from us that would be heading away for that weekend. Do I approached mum and ask her about that message and wether her was talking about us? I'm feeling very hurt at the moment wondering wether our family has been stabbed in the back for all these years

Alaska81 So alone
  • replies: 3

Help me:( I'm at a point in my life where I feel completely depleted. I find it so hard to see the positive side of anything.from the outside people would think I have the perfect life. I have a great partner for 17years 4 beautiful kids and a great ... View more

Help me:( I'm at a point in my life where I feel completely depleted. I find it so hard to see the positive side of anything.from the outside people would think I have the perfect life. I have a great partner for 17years 4 beautiful kids and a great business. But inside I'm so alone. I have no social network because I've thrown myself into a family life at the age of 18. Right now I just want to crawl away somewhere and not be found but feel so guilty if I do because I know my family needs me.

GreatDawn Is this marriage?
  • replies: 10

Hi, I have been married with this woman for over 10yrs. It was never great for some reason and is now taking me into deep depression. In my view she has always been very selfish and egocentric. She doesn't support anything I do and gets to be the vic... View more

Hi, I have been married with this woman for over 10yrs. It was never great for some reason and is now taking me into deep depression. In my view she has always been very selfish and egocentric. She doesn't support anything I do and gets to be the victim. I'm a very reasonable man, ie I can be in the middle of our biggest fight but still will never say anything offensive, a swear word and will always give space for her to talk without interrupting her. She, however, is very aggressive and hard to argue with. She is the kind of person that if I drop a glass of water it is my fault for not paying attention but if she does, it is my fault for leaving the glass where she could hit it. The list of examples can go on and on. She has no considersrion for my problems and things i have to deal with and always makes her problems the priority number one (and only). At the end she is the one who gets upset and waits for me to come to her to make amends. And I can't think of one single time she ever said sorry or acknowledge the guilt. In average, our marriage are 2-3 very good weeks followed by 2-3 very bad weeks. We do have, however, two most beautiful kids together. She very often looses her (very short) patience with them and scream to them or don't treat them right. She is incapable of teaching them anything good. She did make very clear that she really doesn't like kids (in general), and she would much rather lI've without them. However, she does love our kids very much and anytime she spends away from them she misses them big time. She can be very nice with them many times (for short period before they start testing her patience). I'm pretty sure that if we were to break up I would get the kids. However I don't know if I am prepared to have my kids suffering due to a break up. They are very young still and I only think I should wait until they grow a bit and understand things better before doing anything. But every week this feeling I have eats me from inside more and more. I know she loves me (she would go crazy if I break up with her). But for some reason she sees me more like an enemy than a partner. And I always wished my wife would be my best friend. Instead what I have is someone whom I can't share anything. Sorry for the long post. But this is just the tip. Not sure what to do.

Morning_sunshine Fiancée is unsure about having a child
  • replies: 8

My boyfriend of two years and fiancée told me this week that he is not one hundred percent sure about wanting to have kids with me. We are due to be married next year and until two weeks ago he wanted to have a child with me. We have been having a fe... View more

My boyfriend of two years and fiancée told me this week that he is not one hundred percent sure about wanting to have kids with me. We are due to be married next year and until two weeks ago he wanted to have a child with me. We have been having a few months where we have been out of sync; he has been very stressed with work and I've been quite sensitive to his stress. He already has a daughter to a previous partner and now says he is scared to have a baby as at the moment he doesn't feel our relationship is stable enough and he doesn't want to end up in the same situation again...He says he is just being honest with how he is feeling right now and said once we are married and our relationship is looking healthy again, we should definitely have a baby...I feel a little in limbo.. what if we marry and then he decides he doesn't want a baby?.. I know nothing is ever set in stone but I felt excited to marry him not only because he is my love, but also because we were on the same page with respect to future needs (I.e kids)... I feel lost and don't know what to do...

Ally9393 Relationship or friendship. How I wish I can turn back time..
  • replies: 1

I'm currently an international university student in Aus, in my 2nd yr of studies. Last yr when I first came and settled down, I managed to have a group of friends whom I mix with. In the group, theres 3 guys and 1 girl. I was closer to this guy, let... View more

I'm currently an international university student in Aus, in my 2nd yr of studies. Last yr when I first came and settled down, I managed to have a group of friends whom I mix with. In the group, theres 3 guys and 1 girl. I was closer to this guy, lets name him B. We always do assignments together as group. However, sooner later I started to realise he's after me ,i was trying to not be too close to him. At the same time another guy was also after me. Let's name him A. Though I'm not as close to A as B, I was more attracted to A. I tend to ask him a lot more during group works or have small talks with him. However it was at those session, I kind of realised that the other two wasn't really comfortable doing work, or maybe even unhappy or annoyed. At that time I wasn't sure why, I thought I might be thinking too much. So, sooner later, me and A got together. It was quite fast, we met for < 1/2 yr. I obviously didn't inform anyone , not B either. I'm not sure if I should. it'll be awkward and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be courteous in that sense. So not long after we got together, I realised one day that B's behaviour and attitude towards me changed in a suden. I felt sth wasn't right. We met up, talked through it. That's when I realised he knew we were together.