Relationship and family issues

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Kate9 I think my boyfriend has depression and it's causing our relationship to fall apart... How can I help him through this??
  • replies: 3

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost a year. in the past couple of months, he's been acting distant and angry at the world. i ask him how he's feeling but he doesn't know what to say. He says he just feels numb, and he's falling... View more

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost a year. in the past couple of months, he's been acting distant and angry at the world. i ask him how he's feeling but he doesn't know what to say. He says he just feels numb, and he's falling out of love with everything in his life (including me). I'm heartbroken and I just want to help him. He says he is fighting for our relationship and says he's just going through a lapse. I think that he needs some professional help, but I don't know how to tell him. He acts as if everything is okay. He is tired all of the time and overcommits himself, and I don't know what to do.I'm so upset because I love him and I just want to see him happy, but I'm afraid that that means the end of our relationship. How can I be there for him even though he's falling out of love with me? Thank you x

sarahboo Narcissistic Personality Disorder .... what do i do?
  • replies: 14

Im new here so please be nice I think my partner has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. We have been together for 3 years and got engaged last Christmas. I thought i could finally feel secure in our relationship. But he goes through these bouts of "f... View more

Im new here so please be nice I think my partner has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. We have been together for 3 years and got engaged last Christmas. I thought i could finally feel secure in our relationship. But he goes through these bouts of "freaking out". All of a sudden hes not happy, nothing will ever truly make him happy, and he starts to question everything. He shuts down, refuses to talk to me, pushes me away and makes me feel worthless. Usually during these episodes he breaks up with me and a few days later we get back together as if nothing has happened. But this time its different, we're engaged, things have changed.... we are meant to be moving in together in a few months (with my son, not his father) and i don't know if i can keep putting myself and my son through this. I don't know what to do. Has anyone else been in a relationship with someone who might have NPD? can it work? is there any hope of getting through all this with the man i love? My self esteem is at an all time low, I've lost my sense of self in this relationship. I try to explain to him how I'm feeling and how what he does affects me and my son and he just gets defensive and nasty. I love this man, I have fought so hard for this relationship, we have planned a future, we've made so much progress.... but was it all a lie? is it all fake? was it doomed from the very start? I don't know what to do. Have you loved someone with NPD and its worked out? Any help would be very much appreciated. -Thank you.

nogo17 help needed my husband is hiding alcohol
  • replies: 24

Ive posted recently as i have just realised my husband is a high functioning alcoholic. He is in denile and now ive confronted him this week boy has thing's changed! Now he is hiding alcohol somewhere!! Taking beer bottles to the dump with the dump r... View more

Ive posted recently as i have just realised my husband is a high functioning alcoholic. He is in denile and now ive confronted him this week boy has thing's changed! Now he is hiding alcohol somewhere!! Taking beer bottles to the dump with the dump run; and my 12 year daughter saw him putting bottles in the next door neighbours bin!while i was at work I cant track anything now i dont know how i feel as i was needing that visual reassurance to help me stay sane!! When i confronted him about his drinking he just laughed in my face.. where else do they hide alcohol?? Or do I give up looking now?? Please help im soooo stressed out

Nekta Want to get rid of these anxiety triggers from my ex
  • replies: 1

Hi all, I'm new to this site. I've been battling anxiety & depression for over 20 years. But my last relationship which was only 6 months triggered me worst than anything in the world. He was a narcissist and lied and cheated. But I feel for him hard... View more

Hi all, I'm new to this site. I've been battling anxiety & depression for over 20 years. But my last relationship which was only 6 months triggered me worst than anything in the world. He was a narcissist and lied and cheated. But I feel for him harder than anything. I ended the relationship because of the lies and cheating and of course he moved on the next day. I try not to think about him coz it brings me down to think how quick he moved on. But I keep replaying what he might be doing and what he did over and over again in my head. I can't seem to get him out. But it has triggered my depression and anxiety. I spent 4 weeks in bed. This is the first week I've been out but I have had to use medication to survive. I'm on medication but not really helping yet. And advice on how to retrain my brain? And help lesson the anxiety thank you all .

MellyA Pregnant and lost.
  • replies: 2

I googled mental health support and this came up so I though, I've nothing to lose by reaching out. I am 6 months pregnant with my first child and am caught in a very unhealthy cycle of dishonesty and manipulation with the father of my baby. Telling ... View more

I googled mental health support and this came up so I though, I've nothing to lose by reaching out. I am 6 months pregnant with my first child and am caught in a very unhealthy cycle of dishonesty and manipulation with the father of my baby. Telling me he wants to be a family and will tell his ex partner that it's over between them, but the day never comes. He has a son with her too and I understand the connection they have and him struggling to let go, but it has been ongoing for too long and has beaten me down to an unrecognisable mental health level. A level that frightens me. I understand a lot of people will have judgement and opinions of "just leave him, he sounds like a drop kick" but I really am struggling on how to do that. I don't want my son growing up with a role model relationship like this, but I also want my family together and don't actually know how to let go, which might sound silly. I suppose I am sharing this because I don't know what to do, how to do it. I'm looking for support, or people with similar stories. Any kind of help I would be really grateful for.

KBgirl My boyfriend is pushing me away
  • replies: 6

My partner has depression & has been seeing someone for a couple of months now - he is now trying to push me away even though we have been fine up until he fell into this rut again..(a few months ago being his last, which we got through). He can stil... View more

My partner has depression & has been seeing someone for a couple of months now - he is now trying to push me away even though we have been fine up until he fell into this rut again..(a few months ago being his last, which we got through). He can still laugh and joke around with me like normal, but then quickly goes back to fighting something in his head and thinking he can't be with me.. He has no motivation to do anything, in general not just with me.. I am going to see someone this week but there is only so much I can say or do to help him, especially when his thoughts are not positive at the moment & he doesn't believe me that this happens and it comes and goes. Heeeps saying that he is not happy, but I make him happy and that he loves me and cares for me & he wants to go back to how he was a few years ago when he had motivation to do things etc.. I have been giving him as much space as I can the last couple of weeks and do believe that he needs it - I don't think that he is going to the psychologist and telling the truth about how he is feeling right now and what he is trying to do to me, as he got angry with me for accidentally telling his mum that he had depression as he said he didn't want anyone to know and wanted to do it by himself.. his mum is not very supportive of him and turns a blind eye to these things so I have tried to spawn to her about it and what is going on between us but she is not much help.. He said he also has no interest in having sex etc and not because of me he just doesn't want to. he is not taking medication as he does not want to go onto anything.. I am pretty stuck with how to deal with this situation and I really don't want advice telling me to walk away because being together a couple of years I won't leave him to go through this alone.

ITzMattrix He has depression, she has anxiety - Tips for making this relationship work?
  • replies: 2

Hi, I have suffered from depression on and off for almost three years and have been taking medication for it as part of my mental health plan with my GP. I have twice come off the medication only to last about 2 months before requiring it again. I fe... View more

Hi, I have suffered from depression on and off for almost three years and have been taking medication for it as part of my mental health plan with my GP. I have twice come off the medication only to last about 2 months before requiring it again. I feel that is may just be a life long thing for me but that is ok. This year I started dating the most amazing women, whom I love. She happens to have anxiety and has for quite a while, she hasn't had any medication for it that I know of but is strongly considering some councilling regarding it. Things were great whilst we were in the honeymoon phase of our relationship but just recently got really real and we have had some things to work through. During this time my depression returned with a bang. I am back treating it with my medication. It seems to me that we are now stuck in a vicious circle where my depression feeds her anxiety, which in turn seeing her struggle because of my depression feeds it further. Around and around we go. I am introverted and she is extroverted. I find I withdraw rather than open up as my natural response to tough times, where she absolutely needs to talk things through. That's the background. Now to the question. Is there anyone out there that has any experience being in a relationship like this one? We have this amazing connection and I truly believe that we will be together for the rest of our lives. I am trying to be very open about my depression and let her know when I am struggling and about what. I, however often find it very difficult to even put words and reasons together to describe why I am struggling. I don't want to hurt her or push her away. Any tips for how we can support each other would be great. Thank you

BeyondSad Feeling so sad - husband gone
  • replies: 6

Hi all... My husband has been verbally abusive for a few years. Before this started, he was a great husband and father. It usually happens after he has been drinking (I think he has a problem, he does not) and happens in front of our young child, whi... View more

Hi all... My husband has been verbally abusive for a few years. Before this started, he was a great husband and father. It usually happens after he has been drinking (I think he has a problem, he does not) and happens in front of our young child, which breaks me and is why I have kicked him out... this is the 3rd time Its been over a month and I can't cope. He doesn't see our son much (he has always been a good dad so I struggle with this). My son always down and constantly asks when will he see dad. He is too busy with his mates to care about us. I've been physically sick all week from stress and feeling sad. He has just thrown me (and his family) away. My heart is broken into a million pieces and I just need some advice to cope. Thank you for listening.

LittleCherubs To stay or go?
  • replies: 3

I am having trouble with my husband. He believed my depression was caused by my inplanon so had it taken out. He doesn't think I'm depressed anymore and forced me to make an appointment with my GP to have my meds reduced as he doesn't believe in them... View more

I am having trouble with my husband. He believed my depression was caused by my inplanon so had it taken out. He doesn't think I'm depressed anymore and forced me to make an appointment with my GP to have my meds reduced as he doesn't believe in them. ‚ÄčAll this is because we don't have sex anymore. I have no interest I or desire to and we fight about it all the time. The last big fight, he ended up calling us '2 separate people who live togther'. We have 2 kids. I don't know whether to stay for the kids or to leave

justconfused Normal Expectations in a Relationship?
  • replies: 6

Im not even sure where to begin. back when we first got together about 14yrs ago we were equal partners. i worked, he worked, we were both equal and it was good. Roll on pregnancy, weight gain, miscarriage..and struggling to loose the weight. another... View more

Im not even sure where to begin. back when we first got together about 14yrs ago we were equal partners. i worked, he worked, we were both equal and it was good. Roll on pregnancy, weight gain, miscarriage..and struggling to loose the weight. another pregnancy, successful, more weight gain and he was unhappy that i couldn't seem to loose the weight fast enough. after he told me he didn't find me attractive anymore i did everything i could and lost some weight (not all but a bit came off) and baby number 2 happened, followed by number 3. During this time i always got back to the same weight but never lost the extra 10kgs from the miscarried pregnancy. And it was always an issue. everything always comes back to me being too fat, and he's been waiting forever. i was a size 16. Even now (I'm a size 14) he still flys off the handle when he's in a bad mood and tells me i am fat, i have '30kg of blubber' to loose etc. I have to measure each week and send the results in. We argue a lot and tho i am careful to avoid arguments i do get angry too. He gets angry when i dont answer a message fast enough. he frequenrtly calls me names. He works away so most of the time its just me and the kids. He messages me every single break he has. i am expected to be up before he goes to work, and answer my phone every time he messages, if i don't i am in big trouble. even if he knows i am driving he will still message me. he gets annoyed when i am at friends and wants to know who is there. if i go somehwere that takes longer than it should he demands to know where else i have been. constantly accuses me of having an affair. I think i am starting to have anxiety as i get nervous and shaky around the time his breaks are coming on. he also expects nude photos and videos, every day he has off i am to send pics when he wakes up. he pressures me for anal and tells me i am a 'piss poor excuse coz i dont want to do it. he knows it hurts me but expects me to show grattitude and put a smile on my face. he wants to do 'rough' sex & wants me to slap or punch him and be angry. I am not comfortable with any of this and i no longer know what is "expected" and what isn't in a relationship. i feel i don't have any rights because i am a stay at home mum. i keep hoping it will go back to what it used to be like..then he tells me he loves me fat or skinny, no matter what. its like whiplash and i don't believe him anymore, i feel like property not "love"