Relationship and family issues

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Bellakarina Pregnant and unsure what to do
  • replies: 2

I have just got pregnant from a work colleague. We are both single and both had a one night hook up with me falling pregnant. He wants me to have an abortion and i dont think i want that. So unsure abd so broken about it

I have just got pregnant from a work colleague. We are both single and both had a one night hook up with me falling pregnant. He wants me to have an abortion and i dont think i want that. So unsure abd so broken about it

Barty174 I am scared and lost about my wifes depression
  • replies: 9

Hi peeps,This is a first for me but I am struggling. My wife of 22yrs has recently been diagnosed with moderate depression. I love her so much and I am struggling and hurting bad. I am doing my best to support and care for her. We walk 10km a day and... View more

Hi peeps,This is a first for me but I am struggling. My wife of 22yrs has recently been diagnosed with moderate depression. I love her so much and I am struggling and hurting bad. I am doing my best to support and care for her. We walk 10km a day and I try to open up to her but she never opens up to me. She says shes "numb inside". When I hug her and tell her I love her there is nothing.. She feels nothing.. She has a good friend network and lots of support amd lots of love pouring in, but me, nothing..I pray everyday for a glimmer of love, a spark to occur but I am struggling so much. I feel alone in this. I dont want to loose my wife. I have always pictured us 80 with heaps of grandkids.. Will she ever love me again? I am so sad trying to hold it all together and be strong including seeing my own psych for help.. Unfortunately I have realised I am only human. A lost lonely one at that... What can I do? Will she ever come back to me? I know shes dealing with alot.. Meds are still in the infant stage (3 weeks) and I am prepared to wait how ever long it takes and to take it day by day.. but... Is there a light at the end of this tunnel.. Will she feel for me as she once did??

Feelinghopeless Feeling lost
  • replies: 1

Hi all, My first post so see how I go. I don't know who I am any more. I've been married for 11 years and have put everything into my marriage and kids. Over the last few years I have found things out about my husband, which makes me realize he is no... View more

Hi all, My first post so see how I go. I don't know who I am any more. I've been married for 11 years and have put everything into my marriage and kids. Over the last few years I have found things out about my husband, which makes me realize he is not entirely show I thought he was. I'm not sure how much I trust him as much as I use to. I find myself obsessing over what he is doing all the time and can't seem to get myself motivated to do anything else. I feel like I am constantly worrying about everything. I have trouble sleeping, make myself sick by worrying about things that haven't even happened. I can't remember what I like to do for myself anymore. I'm not the same person I use to be. I use to be happy I use to have fun but can't seem to get out of this rut I'm in. How do I figure out who I am? I don't want to constantly worry about everything. I want to enjoy my life. I want to be happy. Thanks for listening...

Lostbuthappy Love life
  • replies: 2

Im 26years old in a serious 5+year relationship where im not so sure i love him anymore i see him more as a friend than my other half. I know i dont want to lose him but i dont know if i want to be with him anymore. I dont know what life is like with... View more

Im 26years old in a serious 5+year relationship where im not so sure i love him anymore i see him more as a friend than my other half. I know i dont want to lose him but i dont know if i want to be with him anymore. I dont know what life is like without him but i want to know its just i know he doesnt want to have a break he wants to be together forever or not at all but i dont want to end it completely and then a month or so down the track realise ive made the biggest mistake of my life. I think if i was to make up my mind this very moment id say i want to be alone for a little bit but i know if i tell him that he will make the decision of walking away forever. Do i stay and try and work it out even though i know i need to be alone or do i say goodbye and walk away and maybe regret this for the rest of my life... i know if i need time away i have friends i can stay with but its not the same as being on my own and having alone time to find myself and work out my thoughts. I dont want him to never be in my life but i dont know if i want to be together for the rest of our lives..

Tex73 How do I stop being self righteous and angry?
  • replies: 2

Hi all first time on here. Feel I have no where else to go. Had been hit hard with stress and anxiety at work then treated really bad by company I'd given 10 years to after going out on stress leave. They wore me down until I stuffed up and then sack... View more

Hi all first time on here. Feel I have no where else to go. Had been hit hard with stress and anxiety at work then treated really bad by company I'd given 10 years to after going out on stress leave. They wore me down until I stuffed up and then sacked me. I have been unemployed for 7 months the first time ever in my life. I have a great supportive family. I thought that having so much time at home would bring us together but I seem to just be arguing all the time "I'm" always right about something or getting defensive or snapping all the time. I just now had a massive argument with my wife and my mother in law and feel like there is no coming back from it...just don't know what to do. The arguments usually stem from me being overerly defensive about something or being too stubborn not to know when I'm wrong and apologise or if I've raised my voice. I don't even know I'm doing this until it's too late and I don't know why I'm doing it or how to stop it. It's like its subconscious or something ? Please any advise on how to stop doing this I love my family and don't want to subject them to me being like this anymore.

Jandan A married guy cheated on me ,should I tell his wife about his truth ?
  • replies: 4

I am 22ywars old international student studying here ,I met a person online on a dating site .actualy he was 42 years old but doesn't look that old in person .for some reason I fell in love with him it was an incredible feeling he used to care about ... View more

I am 22ywars old international student studying here ,I met a person online on a dating site .actualy he was 42 years old but doesn't look that old in person .for some reason I fell in love with him it was an incredible feeling he used to care about me a lot n the love he has given to me is something I felt on top of the world .he loved me a way that I can't explain .but he never called me after 6.30 pm and even in the morning he used to text me while he was on the way to work .after I got suspicious I started searching about him I found out his a married guy ... once I asked him about this he said that he wanted to tell me the truth but he didn't feel like breaking my heart as he is getting divorced soon which was a big lie ,,he pretended to me that he is having a bad family life and he is getting divorced from his wife which was a big lie ,,, he is a happily married man to his wife and to all his relatives .. he just used me and I can't come over how he has played with me .. it's nearly been an year but still I keep thinking of him and all this year I tried to find his wife's number and now I have found it .I have been crying for all nights till now .i can't concentrate on my studies well .. I always wanted to tell his wife about her husbands truth but is it a good idea ? If she is really happy thinking she got a good husband would that be a bad thing to tell about his real side and see another women crying like me for the rest of her life ? please can some one give me some advice on this

LunaGalaxy Complicated family problems
  • replies: 5

I have a complicated family. I had 2 parents and a sibling in this country. Parent A and B got divorced when I was mid 20's. Parent A moved down the road with someone who has a odd history and Parent B moved back to where we had immigrated from and m... View more

I have a complicated family. I had 2 parents and a sibling in this country. Parent A and B got divorced when I was mid 20's. Parent A moved down the road with someone who has a odd history and Parent B moved back to where we had immigrated from and married someone online. Sibling, with years of what seemed like an active social life turned out depressed and suicidal after divorce and some how blames everyone else but its all very top secret. I have one child , who i would like to take overseas to see the family but I am also worried about what i call "remourn", its because most of my life relatives have come and gone which I know I won't see them again for ages and miss them terribly. The point of my post is that because my family is scattered across the globe , I feel like I have missed out on so much with them because of immigration. I don't know why my sibling has been so depressed and why I am to blame when I didn't do anything wrong because I was on the brunt of the shifting mood and being called everything under the sun. I don't know why parent A has to side with the partner so much to the point where parent a doesn't ring or visit. There's always some agenda. Parent B doesn't want/understand how alone and sad I am here when all I wanted was to be surrounded by family and have cherished memories but instead is called everything under the sun and abandoned. I am at the point where I am so hurt , confused and alone that I feel it would be better to just move away , I would love to get married and have more children although I'm in my early 30's and feel I am pushing my luck on that . But just leave and let them be because I don't know what I did to them for them to be like this. I would love to live with parent B in the home country but my abandonment issues and trust issues really kick in when I am really down and how do I know that everything will turn out ok? Or is that just repeating the same old thing and expecting a different result when clearly your flogging a dead horse when it comes to patching up families. Will your expectations be out of sync and still be unhappy.

Pinkoala Is my 4yrs old son safe living with mentally unstable 16yrs old
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Hi I'm just new here, my 16yrs old step daughter have been seeing Headspace for the last 3 yrs now she had some issues with her temperament and already had been to juvenile justice parole system. My husband took her back to live with us after not bei... View more

Hi I'm just new here, my 16yrs old step daughter have been seeing Headspace for the last 3 yrs now she had some issues with her temperament and already had been to juvenile justice parole system. My husband took her back to live with us after not being with for a year and so, I'm am now anxiously worried for my 4yrs old son. My husband doesn't seem to take it seriously he keeps saying that her daughter will not hurt our son. But I'm not just worried about physical but more of implication to my sons mental health, she seems to talk silly things to my son. I don't know what the right thing to do, I feel so alone I have no relatives here in Australia to talk to and support. If I say things to my husband about his daughter he gets cranky with me and totaly take his daughters side. Please help me!! Thank you

Durras Lonely and Confused
  • replies: 7

Hi all my name is Durras, I was on here sometime ago and now back again because I realize now that a recovery from depression is very distant or no existent (well I feel for me it is) I'm feeling very confused with my emotions and have no one to talk... View more

Hi all my name is Durras, I was on here sometime ago and now back again because I realize now that a recovery from depression is very distant or no existent (well I feel for me it is) I'm feeling very confused with my emotions and have no one to talk with. If anyone remembers me from before you may remember I was hoping to do a nursing course, well I am nearly at completion of it, I have my final work placement for two weeks in June. I worked for a week at this nursing home in April with first week placement, nursing staff including supervisors were telling me to put my resume in for employment, they were happy with me. I told my husband and mother in law and all they are saying is "make sure your resume is really good," "well I hope they are employing". This has really hurt me and upset me because I was hoping to hear something like "that sounds really positive, I'm sure you will have no problems them gaining employment their"? What is that suppose to mean "make sure your resume is really good" I get that I need to find a job, I get that my husband and I can't keep going on with one income to pay of our mortgage, I get that if anything was to happen to him with his work we are in crisis. I get all this, I'm living it, breathing it everyday, waking up and going to sleep with it everyday. Is this what they are saying? I KNOW IT ALL!!! GIVE ME/ SAY SOMETHING POSITIVE!!!! This is my only opportunity for employment as I am so far from other places, nursing homes. I don't want my hand held like a baby but some positive words would be really helpful for me to give me the confidence I need for the interview once I put my application in. I'm feeling really annoyed, hurt and frustrated because I've been struggling with finding work for so long and now I have this wonderful opportunity all I'm getting is negativity. On top of all this, what I'm learning in my course with aged care illness trajectories is really sending my heart back home to NZ. My dad isn't well, my mum has been tested for dementia and I want to be their for them but can't afford it. I have no one to talk to about all this, I have no friends or family here with me. I'm feeling really lost with my situation and hope so much I get this job, if not I'm back to being how I was NOTHING!!

marn157 Guilty Cheater
  • replies: 8

I am in a relationship with the love of my life. She is my soul mate. I love her unconditionally. The fire is always there between us, even after almost 2 years together. She helped me get out of depression, stands by me, loves me, props me up, treat... View more

I am in a relationship with the love of my life. She is my soul mate. I love her unconditionally. The fire is always there between us, even after almost 2 years together. She helped me get out of depression, stands by me, loves me, props me up, treats me like a god & makes me intensely happy. I honestly could not think of a better person I would want to share my life with. I knew from when I first met her I wanted to spend my life with her. We do not live together, she lives in one state & I live in another, it has to be that way until our committments are up in one year. But we still see each other every 3-4 weeks. This weekend past I got completely drunk and I hooked up with another girl. To which my girlfriend doesn't know about, and its virtually impossible she will ever find out. No sexual stuff. Just kissing. But it doesn't matter, cheating is cheating. I have always prided myself on being a man with integrity & morals. I have never cheated before & I have always despised cheaters. I am so sick in my stomach. I know its guilt. It's so overwhelming. Its consuming me. I want to vomit. It's almost similar to the grief I felt when my sister passed away. The thought of losing her is unbearable, but she's such a perfect human being she deserves more. She deserves an honest man. Every fibre of my being wants to tell her everything. But I have been told not to from the one person I confided in (my mother), as she believes based on her experience its sometimes best to suck it up & keep it to yourself. I know deep down in my heart that I will never do it again. But I was hoping to get some opinions from people who have had a similar situation before. Should I tell her? Or should I live with the guilt and go on with our relationship knowing it will never happen again? And if I dont tell her, will the guilt/grief pass or will I be doomed forever?