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Feel silly and lonely

Community Member
Hi, I dont know how to start this so ill just come out with it. Ive fallen for and cant get over my best friend. Ive never been with her and the whole time ive had feelings for her(over 12 months now) she has had a boyfriend. They now have a 2 month old baby together and I hardly see her anymore and we only chat through phone calls or text but still I cant get over her...Over the last few days I stopped myself from texting and phoning her or commenting on any of her social media posts(not the first time I have done this) but I just feel guilty that im doing wrong by a friend and I always end up texting or calling her.
I feel ridiculous, frustrated and annoyed at myself because I have never been with her, never even kissed her and even though im distancing myself and our lives are going in totally different directions, I still cant get over her. I have tried dating websites and going to parties and social outings with other mates but with no luck...

2 Replies 2

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi there GazzaMU,

Welcome to the BB forums.

Sounds like you have a case of the blues. I've been there a few times in my life and know exactly what that feels like. I'm 33 years old and used to focus on the 'could of, should of, would of' scenarios, but over time, have been firm believer of 'if it's meant to be, it's meant to be'. And I hope you don't mind me saying so and being honest with you.

Unfortunately the reality is that she has a partner and now family and being a best friend I imagine the only thing you would want is to wish her all the best and for her to be happy. You deserve to be happy to 🙂

If you don't me asking how old are you? Have you been in a relationship before?

Getting over someone you have had feelings for doesn't just go away. You will need to give this process time. If you want to remain friends with her and feel you can do that without any other feelings attached than great. However my, if you feel you can't then it's probably best for everyone that you move on (in my experience) however ultimately the decision is yours.

Keep your chin up. There are over 7.5 billion humans on the planet and I'm sure there are more than 1 that will like and carry the same feelings for you too.

Be open to chance and possibilities 🙂



Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi GazzaMU,

Great advice from Raman, I just wanted to add my thoughts : )

I'm sorry you are going through this at the moment, it feels soul destroying when you love someone and they just don't have those feelings for you.

But she is unavailable so the only thing you can do is move on and trust me, you will move on.

If it were me, I would have no contact with her for now. Give yourself some time to heal from this difficult period in your life.

I know it seems hard on your friendship to have no contact but it is probably what you need right now.

Don't push yourself into dating someone before you're ready to move on, in my experience- if you love someone else you end up comparing everyone to them and it makes you feel worse.

Take some time for yourself and focus on the things that make you happy.

There will be someone out there when you are ready that will love you and you will love them.

Take care