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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Ella_May Is my ex suffering from a mental health disorder? Broke up with me out of the blue. Completely different person.
  • replies: 5

Hi, this is my first thread. Apologies if I am in the wrong discussion. Six weeks ago my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me, completely out of the blue. Things have been amazing between us, so for him to end it so instantly with no warning signs h... View more

Hi, this is my first thread. Apologies if I am in the wrong discussion. Six weeks ago my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me, completely out of the blue. Things have been amazing between us, so for him to end it so instantly with no warning signs has completely torn my world in two. He told me he loved me everyday, and the day before we broke up was an amazing day filled with so much love (as normal). The following day we had a squabble over something ridiculous regarding the house we share, and boom-just like that he broke up with me. He uncontrollably cried for 6 hours and couldn’t stop. The next day he woke up and he was a shell of himself. I noticed he was late for work and as I entered the room I found him sat up right, just staring at the walls. He pushed me away from that point onwards saying that he doesn’t have a reason for the breakup - it’s just something doesn’t feel right. He then went to see a psychologist that week - but still insisted I stay far away from him and that I needed to “move on”. He is a doctor, under tremendous pressure all of the time and due to being on call - he has interrupted sleep most nights of the week. I know that he had a manic episode in his late teens which lead to him being on meds for some time. I tried to make him acknowledge that perhaps this could be the case again, but he said he is fine and he feels fine. He refuses to ever see a psychiatrist again...I believe this is because he feels it wouldn’t look good for a doctor to be on meds for a mental health issue. Which breaks my heart. I feel like my boyfriend is in there somewhere...but it’s been 6 weeks and he’s still just so cold. He has shown no empathy towards me or the situation, he’s just switched off like he never knew me in the first place. Has anyone experienced anything similar with regards to these behaviours? I honestly feel in my heart that something has happened psychologically. I’ve also noticed that he has invested a lot of money recently. Which is so unlike him. I feel that may have a connection to the first episode when he was younger of getting involved with businesses and financial investments. But maybe I’m just reading into everything too much? I don’t know what to do, apart from give him the space he asks for. Any advice on this would be appreciated. Big thanks

Hope_for_better Mumma having a hard time dealing
  • replies: 5

Hello I feel stupid writing on this page but just need to vent I’m loosing my mind and who I am as a person. Some days I just feel I can’t cope with my childrens constant fighting, bickering and mess that they leave. It hurts me that when I try to ex... View more

Hello I feel stupid writing on this page but just need to vent I’m loosing my mind and who I am as a person. Some days I just feel I can’t cope with my childrens constant fighting, bickering and mess that they leave. It hurts me that when I try to explain to them how sad it makes me it goes in one ear and out the other. My husband has worked away in the mines for the last 10 years so for that time I have done most of this parenting gig on my own. It’s hard being the one who does all the disciplining and then he comes home and is their best friend because they have all missed each other. I don’t blame him or resent him for that he works very hard to provide for our family. I do however resent him for not understanding how I feel and how badly these things are effecting me. He just thinks I’m going on my little rant again. Some days I just want to pack my bags and leave.. my only heart pull is how much I actually love them. Im tired of being the sad angry yelling mother that I have become I want my boys to be able look back when they are older and have memories of a nice mum one that didn’t yell and cry when thing got to hard. I know that I am the only one that can change my thought process and make the change i just don’t know how when I feel this way.

ravenm unsure
  • replies: 5

Ok here goes. I have 2 kids, 4 & 18 months. Youngest to my current partner who I've been with for nearly 3 years. He is a good dad and i know he loves me. Our relationship has been difficult from the start. I had known him a week when he told me he u... View more

Ok here goes. I have 2 kids, 4 & 18 months. Youngest to my current partner who I've been with for nearly 3 years. He is a good dad and i know he loves me. Our relationship has been difficult from the start. I had known him a week when he told me he uses marijuana regularly. I told him i could not be in a serious relationship with someone who does drugs. He told me he would give up weed, cigarettes and alcohol for the chance to be with me. I told him it was NOT a good idea as he could become resentful. He gave it up but very soon became angry towards me. He'd call me names, scream horrible words to me and everything was my fault. I moved in with him and got pregnant - both which i did just to make him happy. On both occasions i tried to come to an agreement to wait a while, but he got emotional and made me feel like a bad person for saying no. My own fault- i was weak. I Seriously considered abortion and leaving for good but couldn't do it, so i made the decision to try make it work. Throughout my pregnancy and the first 6 months of our babies life, my partner would go out a few nights a week, never telling me until long after i was expecting him. Some times he wouldn't be home till the next day. I had a 3 year old and a newborn- i needed a hand and i wanted a bit of routine. I told him he could go out on tues, fri and sat nights and not even have to text me. But he couldn't keep to that for even a few days. He was also using cocaine. I moved out to a friend's rental when bub was 6 months. Thats when he "woke up" and started to become the man i needed him to be. I saw small changes and when he asked me to move back in with him (so his parents-who were soon coming to visit from interstate- didnt have to know / stress about our break up) i did. But i made him promise me 3 things first. No cocaine. He must tell me somewhat in advance if he's not coming home. And we agreed he could smoke weed at home but only a couple times a week and after kids go to sleep. He broke all promises and still continues to smoke weed multiple times a day. He has smoked in front of the kids and driven with the kids right after smoking. He is a good dad, He provides for us. But I've lost trust in him. He has disrespected me too much. Broken promises. When i try to talk to him about it, he groans and walks away. Nothing ever gets resolved. I love him. But now im resentful.. towards him but more towards myself as i shouldn't have let it all happen. I need general advice please.

Lostchild2209 Help needed
  • replies: 2

I don’t know what to do anymore my parents hate me and the only one in my family that still talks to me is my youngest sister. I live with my father and my step mother and I don’t know what Ive done to make everyone mad. Tonight everyone ate dinner w... View more

I don’t know what to do anymore my parents hate me and the only one in my family that still talks to me is my youngest sister. I live with my father and my step mother and I don’t know what Ive done to make everyone mad. Tonight everyone ate dinner without me while I was in my room nobody bothered to come tell me dinner was ready so I didn’t eat and most nights when I finish work late I come home and have to go straight to be because nobody saves me any food from dinner. I’m losing weight and I’m scared because I just want my parents to love me and be proud of me. I’m the oldest and my little sister looks up to me but my step mother always says I’m a bitch and a slut and that i should go back to wher I came from. I really need some advice please

Sorrowfly Depression, loss of sex and pregnant.
  • replies: 1

Hi, first time poster here. I feel like im going to explode, any help would be greatly appreciated. Me and my partner love each other very much but were stuck in a badly timed crappy situaion right now which i fear is going to tear us apart if it doe... View more

Hi, first time poster here. I feel like im going to explode, any help would be greatly appreciated. Me and my partner love each other very much but were stuck in a badly timed crappy situaion right now which i fear is going to tear us apart if it doesnt get resolved. I have BPD and am terrible at regulating and articulating my emotions, im also 9 months pregnant due any moment now. My partner lost his dad a year ago and is very depressed. The main problem is we haven't had sex in months, which i totally understand why he isn't feeling it, him and his dad were very close. My raging hormones won't let me ignore these intense feelings no matter how hard i try to distract myself, i feel so shit about feeling this way, i just want to be there to comfort him and help him through but its been going on for so long now i feel like my body is going to be ruined after the birth so i feel like theres a time limit also. He just distracts with weed, games and scrolling through facebook. All the time. Whenever i try to talk to him about how the lack of affection in our relationship is affecting me it both comes out wrong and upsets him. So i feel i can't talk to him anymore, i just pretend im fine to create a happy atmosphere for our family but im about to break. Its all building up inside brewing some real negative feelings within me. I love him so i don't want these feelings, but as much as i try they won't leave me alone. It keeps me up at night, iv given him so many help options to try but he wont reach out. I need him more than ever, its been a terrible pregnancy with many complications and i don't want to bring our baby into this mess. The constant rejection and body changes has left me with no self-esteem and very frustrated, often thinking about doing very stupid things. Im so worried i will have no self control when the babys born and drink myself stupid, im already having these thoughts and i feel so guilty for even having them. I just want to make him happy. Please be gentle, im very embarrassed about this.

Michelle2000 How to stop myself going back
  • replies: 5

Trying not to run back to what i know will be a bad relationship but my anxiety gets the better of me. I dont want to be lonely though.. what can you do to stop ypurself going back out of loneliness or worse falling into a rebound or one night stands... View more

Trying not to run back to what i know will be a bad relationship but my anxiety gets the better of me. I dont want to be lonely though.. what can you do to stop ypurself going back out of loneliness or worse falling into a rebound or one night stands.. i know its weak not being able to be alone but id give anything to even have a chat buddy

Chansy Husband of 5 years is asking for divorce
  • replies: 5

My husband and I have been together for 6 years and married for almost 5 years. He is asking for a divorce and is already seeing other people I am barely coping with this. I cry all the time and I’ve asked for him to give us a chance but refuses I do... View more

My husband and I have been together for 6 years and married for almost 5 years. He is asking for a divorce and is already seeing other people I am barely coping with this. I cry all the time and I’ve asked for him to give us a chance but refuses I dont know how I’m supposed to get through this. We live together but seperately and it’s killing me knowing we don’t have a future I don’t know which way to turn anymore

kanga_brumby An apology
  • replies: 8

To all my BB friends and supporters out there. I would like to apologize for my mind set over the last few months. Because of the rift that has been happening with in my family. Plus coupled in there with that being put into an old age home. Getting ... View more

To all my BB friends and supporters out there. I would like to apologize for my mind set over the last few months. Because of the rift that has been happening with in my family. Plus coupled in there with that being put into an old age home. Getting no visitors, not being able to get out because of mobility issues. Trapped in a building with no peers to interact with. Surrounded by people who have various stages of dementia, me with most of my facilities. People in here meaning well posing various questions meaning I have to repeat myself or put it out again in a different way. Sometimes having to tell people off line the same stories over and over .Meaning I am getting nowhere. Cannot get out because My legs not working, staff thinking I have dementia, no visitors, family not responding to messages or cutting me off when I call. All that is doing wonders for my depression, anxiety, if I didn’t have it before I really do now. I have not closed the door between me and my siblings. I have put the invite out to them I made the move quietly. Now it’s in their side of the caught they have to now make the effort. I cannot do all the work it’s a team effort. They no longer seem to know their own brother. If they don’t know me now they never will. If they don’t at least converse with me. So to my BB friends Sorry. forgive me please if possible go a bit easy on me a bit as things are still a bit raw and painful I am working on my family I wont give upon them I have worked on them for over 60 years I wont give up just yet. Kanga

InnerPeace19 Depression and Relationship problems
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone. I am new, this is my first post. I have suffered depression for more than 2 years . I am a highly sensitive person too and the issues my family (who live overseas) are having, make me feel sad all the time. This has made a huge impact on... View more

Hi everyone. I am new, this is my first post. I have suffered depression for more than 2 years . I am a highly sensitive person too and the issues my family (who live overseas) are having, make me feel sad all the time. This has made a huge impact on my relationship with my husband. We were having issues before but now I just feel that he should support me in this difficult part of my life but instead he continues to watch porn and be selfish. I have threatened him to leave before but he has promised me he will change but he doesn't. He is deep down a good man and I want to understand him thinking he doesn't do that in purpose but he hurts me, he hurts me very much when he watches porn and thinks about only him and is just with his phone all the time playing games and chatting. I had an episode of anger this weekend and he called my dad because I said I was feeling very lonely. His intention was so my dad could tell me that he loved me and appreciate everything I do for them (I am my dad's moral support and I also helped them financially) but he also told my dad he had slept with prostitutes before and that I haven't forgive him. My dad said something to me after that it got me thinking .. that my husband is like a wolf on sheep's clothing. I kind of knew this but haven't had the strength to leave him .. because I love him Now, with my depression I just feel this relationship is toxic and is giving me more grief and regrets than happiness... I can't trust him. I just don't have anyone to talk to, he is the only person I confide in. We don't have any family in Australia and I don't have many close friends. I almost lost one of them the last time they tried to support me with this situation I really feel the need today to talk with someone ... or to write so someone can read this Thanks in advance for your insights

Callumm Estranged young man
  • replies: 2

Hi my name is callum, im 36 and a single man, ive been estranged from my mother and siblings for 6 years, due to abuse from a young age. I never hear from my father as he is a alcoholic and a child trapped in the 70s. There are days i feel really lon... View more

Hi my name is callum, im 36 and a single man, ive been estranged from my mother and siblings for 6 years, due to abuse from a young age. I never hear from my father as he is a alcoholic and a child trapped in the 70s. There are days i feel really lonely, for example Christmas and bithdays. I struggle with mental illness on a dayly event. I don't work which is hard because ive worked all my life. Back in my 20s i had friends and had so much fun, but now i dont as everyone has either gotten married and had kids or moved on with their lives. So i feel frozen in time. So i guess this is me trying to cope and stay connected.