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Depressed and confused

Community Member

Hi everyone,

I have a bit of a personal question. Will explain a bit first.

I've been married to my darling husband for 11 years and we've been trying to have children ever since we got together, sadly with no success. I've also been diagnosed with depression and Fibromyalgia, which means im on pretty strong medication. I've found that because of the tablets I don't feel like making love to my hubby anymore. I love him as much, if not more, than ever, but the urge just isn't there and this makes me really sad and more depressed than ever.

My question is: what, if anything, can i do, to try and jump start my libido again? I h8 feeling like this and its not fair to my hubby.

2 Replies 2

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hello Sadangel, I'm sorry that your marriage has come to this point, firstly can you google 'try and jump start my libido again', which you may have already, but being on strong medication maybe the first reason why this is happening, but you have to decide whether you want to feel better or sexually please your husband, I realise that's a very difficult question to answer.
Perhaps go back and talk with your doctor, you may have also done this, can you do different activities with your husband, such as roller skating, ice skiing or any physical adventure, eat different types of food, but talk with him and let him know that you're doing your best and things will change, he should understand and he may even be trying his own way to try and excite you.
You can also google this 'sex counselling to get my libido back'.
Depression is such a cruel and damaging illness in many ways, it's awful the way it makes our life turn into completely the opposite, I am truly sorry, but hope to hear how you are going. Geoff.

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Sadangel

Welcome to our forums. It is very brave of you to share what is going on with you.

I agree with everything Geoff has mentioned. The intimacy is really key, that will let your husband know how much you love him and how much you want to spend time with him. Even though you lack the physical urge, it might help you by being more intimate and then the natural urge might take over.

The same thing happened with my husband and I. He is off his meds now but the lack of interest because of the drugs manifested itself mentally so trying to start a family has been really tough. We did a combination of things such as couples therapy, eating different foods (eg blueberries, pumpkin seeds, more water) and increased the intimacy within our relationship by cuddling on the couch, kissing more etc and it has made an improvement. It is something we still have to work at but I am now pregnant and we are due in 7 weeks!

I was really hurt by the fact that he didn't seem as interested in the physical side of things but we talk about it all the time and even though it is still a sensitive subject it is known and we both work on it. There are still sometimes tears and my frustration but I love my husband so much and it is all worth it.

Blue Jane