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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Lynnie6 Opinions on direction
  • replies: 7

My husband has been messaging women overseas. Sharing intimate photos, video chatting, calls, talking about marriage, compliments and love and he even sent money. There are so so many of them. We have two little daughters and he is certain he wants u... View more

My husband has been messaging women overseas. Sharing intimate photos, video chatting, calls, talking about marriage, compliments and love and he even sent money. There are so so many of them. We have two little daughters and he is certain he wants us to stay together. This is not the first time. He says it's just a bit of fun and he thinks most of them were scammers. He says he's really sorry and won't ever do it again. I feel it is like an addiction. When he is in contact with all of them he us moody and withdrawn. He constantly had reasons to do things away from me. Meanwhile there was pretty much no physical touch between us let alone sex. He has always had trouble in that area. Which is what I want opinions on. I wrote another thread "crossroads" which explains our history more. But I know I love him and want our family to stay together but since I've found this last lot he has been nice and helpful. I don't know if I can or should do this all over again. I've been focusing on what he wants and needs as well since finding out yet I still feel unloved. I wonder if he looks at me like a mother rather than a lover. He says he does but this doesn't get backed up by actions or works yet these other women got plenty of beautiful words and sexy comments. They've also seen more of his penis than I have for years. Interested in other's opinions

Mila_ Not trusting my guts anymore
  • replies: 6

Hi I am new to the forum . I am 36 , 3 yrs post divorce and now dating . Circumstances of my divorce were pretty awful , finding out that my ex-husband was cheating with my friend . I also found out that my ex-husband was spreading false rumors about... View more

Hi I am new to the forum . I am 36 , 3 yrs post divorce and now dating . Circumstances of my divorce were pretty awful , finding out that my ex-husband was cheating with my friend . I also found out that my ex-husband was spreading false rumors about me to family and friends,; so that when the divorce came to light, they turned their back on me as well. We were married for 10 yrs and moved countries a few times for jobs.No children. I relied on my sisters who supported me emotionally and in 2 yrs time, my job , home, finances and the dog were stable:) I started dating last year and met a 41yr old man.I met him online and I met his family and friends too. My family believes he is a genuine, nice bloke . He is loves me, cares about me , wants a life together and if all goes well, have children etc... He lives away , so it is long distance relationship . The last 3 months, he took a long annual leave to spend time with me , for us to get to know each other . Everything went well and at the end of 3 months, he was ready to quit his well-paid job and move into the city where I am living. I am strangely still looking for reassurances. I am looking for inadequacies and faults in the situation. I don't feel the same way that "fell in love" with my exhusband. I don't feel that crazy rush of emotions which makes you dizzy. What this guy does make me feel is - comforted, loved , stable and calm. I know that I can weather a storm with him and he will never leave me in a lurch . I am confused and I feel like I may be making the wrong decision . One of my friends who is a psychologist always talks about being physically attracted to your partner. I find my boyfriend attractive,but I am not as enthusiastic about sex as I was when I was 24. All these thoughts have made me feel low. I have lost all inspiration to exercise . started binge eating and spend endless hours watching TV. I am looking for answers, not finding them , hence trying not to think about them with the above bad habits. Is it unrealistic to expect to "feel crazy in love again?"... am I settling for this relationship ? I feel horrible , unable to make a decision and sometimes wished I wasn't here anymore. Am I still suffering from the after effects of the betrayal of my first marriage? Please help... as I feel exhausted and unable to move forward in life.

Sadoerson I'm so lonely
  • replies: 7

This is my first thread, so hey! I really don't know what to say but that I just feel so lonely. And it's been like this my entire life. Throughout my life, i've been the one chasing people and struggling to keep friendships. I've always been the sec... View more

This is my first thread, so hey! I really don't know what to say but that I just feel so lonely. And it's been like this my entire life. Throughout my life, i've been the one chasing people and struggling to keep friendships. I've always been the second choice/option for everyone I've become close to- including my childhood bestfriend rn and I sometimes even feel like my mum too. My closest sister doesn't live at home so I barely talk to her and my dad just recently passed away. As well as this, just a few months ago I got my first ever pet (puppy) that I was extremely close to, but can't live with us anymore for other complicated reasons. Along with that, at this moment I feel as if my lifelong 'bestfriend' is slowly drifting apart from me. Ever since the beginning of high school she has slowly lost interest in being close with me because of another 'best friend'. I mean they're both at a sleepover right now! This is what it's been like my entire life. It's a constant feeling of being neglected, taken advantage or granted of and being left out. I just don't know what to do anymore.

kanga_brumby Chat thread for parents of Autistic people
  • replies: 0

Hi all hopefully some of you can put our heads together if you have an Autistic child/ adult and feel there is nowhere to run or hide. you can come here have a coffee lay it down get it out get a straggly and get back into doing what we do. All day e... View more

Hi all hopefully some of you can put our heads together if you have an Autistic child/ adult and feel there is nowhere to run or hide. you can come here have a coffee lay it down get it out get a straggly and get back into doing what we do. All day every day. Few know what we do it's 48 hour days and 14 day weeks for some of us. Especially the single parents among us. Kanga

Katanne Needing advice
  • replies: 2

Hi - this is the first time of posting on a forum but am really needing some advice. My husband and I are going through a really patch at the moment and even though I still love him and really want our marriage to work I am not sure how to fix what i... View more

Hi - this is the first time of posting on a forum but am really needing some advice. My husband and I are going through a really patch at the moment and even though I still love him and really want our marriage to work I am not sure how to fix what is wrong. To cut a long story short we have two daughters who are currently school aged, I work full time and my husband works casually (he tried to set up his own business with a friend of his a couple of years ago but unfortunately this has not been successful). I believe (and this is where I need advice) that my husband is depressed about the business not being successful, his business partner really letting him down and that currently he is not really being able to provide for the family. My husband thinks that to improve his well being instead of having the girls in before and after school care (and us saving the money) that he will look after them himself in the afternoons. However by doing this he is not earning money and this then means that he is stressed about not earning any money and being able to pay the mortgage/normal bills. My wage can only stretch so far and even though I will pay for the bills that I can afford, my husband then thinks that I can't budget my money as I am not paying off the credit card as quickly as I (or he would like). We had a big argument last weekend as I had asked him to take one of our daughters to a swimming lesson which he didn't like and he said to me that once he starts to do one thing (ie picking up the girls from school) that I then take advantage of him and he can't get them into a routine (I found this really hard to hear considering that it was a once off). My husband also thinks that I am not affectionate towards him however when you have your "so called husband" blame you constantly for everything that isn't right you will not exactly want to be affectionate to that person either. He regularly says that I have changed since we got together however this as prior to our children coming along so of course things would be different now. Could someone let me know what their opinions are - as I said because we have children and because I want our marriage to work I am not sure where to go from here By the way I would be the first person to admit that I am in no way perfect and have made errors along the way but do try and do things for the family not for myself.

Emma819 How to break up with someone who is a danger to themselves
  • replies: 3

Hi I want to break up with my long term boyfriend (live in) as I feel like we should be friends. However I am afraid he will hurt himself if I do as I have gone to before and he has not taken it well. help I feel so stuck.

Hi I want to break up with my long term boyfriend (live in) as I feel like we should be friends. However I am afraid he will hurt himself if I do as I have gone to before and he has not taken it well. help I feel so stuck.

mar_k MOVING ON ...how to
  • replies: 2

when and how can we stop worrying about our children, I am sad that one of ours is unable to move on from a stressful situation.. , I know that she was unfairly criticized, but move on, I am tired now of the constant emails , you have to get an apolo... View more

when and how can we stop worrying about our children, I am sad that one of ours is unable to move on from a stressful situation.. , I know that she was unfairly criticized, but move on, I am tired now of the constant emails , you have to get an apology for me, I need it I feel sad for her , I am angry it happened, I approached that person, but heh, no resolutuion, lets move on... for our own sakes I had to in the past with tears help

sadmum63 Need help with adult sons depression
  • replies: 1

I need some advice to help me with my adult son who has depression and anxiety. He has been under the care of a psychiatrist for about 4 yrs, but he just seems to keep giving him more tablets and these just make him sleepy but don't seem to make him ... View more

I need some advice to help me with my adult son who has depression and anxiety. He has been under the care of a psychiatrist for about 4 yrs, but he just seems to keep giving him more tablets and these just make him sleepy but don't seem to make him feel better. He seems to be worse lately and that could be partly due to me moving on with a new relationship after my husband passed away ( that was not my sons father) He constantly texts me and tells me he is not coping and he is going to end it all. I think in the past I have enabled his behaviour when i think i have been trying to help him. I am always trying to 'fix' things for him and make him feel better. now it seems to have got to a point where i cant do or say anything to help him but he still keeps texting me and calling me. I feel like I need to toughen up and give a bit of 'tough love' but have no idea whether that is the right thing to do. any suggestions would be great. he has been to therapy, had ECT therapy, been to a psychologist that he wouldn't talk to. he does take his tablets, but he also uses drugs and dope to make him 'feel better'.

HopeForAll Don't feel cared about.
  • replies: 2

so here's the thing, I don't feel cared about by family or friends. I moved to the Gold Coast from Sydney after 19 years of living there; therefore everything I've ever known till now is another state away. Any communication is via phone call, texts ... View more

so here's the thing, I don't feel cared about by family or friends. I moved to the Gold Coast from Sydney after 19 years of living there; therefore everything I've ever known till now is another state away. Any communication is via phone call, texts etc. I had always felt like a bit of an outsider with my family and never felt like I belonged. Me and my mother do not speak at all due to her not being healthy for my mental state of mind. My dad has another family and is a bit of a workaholic, so he never has a lot of time for me. My sister is busy with her family, and so on with numerous family members. I seem to always make the first contact, I call and message constantly and it never seems to be the other way around. It really hurts me because the only person who rings my phone is my partner, and my nan occasionally to see how I am, other then that, I don't feel like I'm even given a second thought. In regards to friends, I'm still trying to create myself and figure out who I am etc. So I'm saying that, I don't feel confident when trying to make friends. And i feel embarrassed to say that, I'm almost 21 and I'm still using the term 'making friends'. But the friends I have made here are all from work, and again, they don't seem to text or even call me first. I just don't understand why everyone does this? Am I honestly not special to people or make an impact on anyone? i just feel really alone and not cared about.

iss_4 Feeling worthless and unloved in relationship.
  • replies: 2

I'm not sure how this works. I do know that I need someone to talk to. My boyfriend recently told me that he is basically tired of being there for me. I suppose the way i've been crying and talking less is taking a toll on him. However, I'm strugglin... View more

I'm not sure how this works. I do know that I need someone to talk to. My boyfriend recently told me that he is basically tired of being there for me. I suppose the way i've been crying and talking less is taking a toll on him. However, I'm struggling with my anger now. He has told me he wants to week off from our relationship. No talking, no seeing each other. Which I think is selfish. One of my best friends is lying in the Intensive Care Unit with sepsis. It has spread throughout his body and is attacking his organs. He's been in a coma for 2 and a half weeks. So naturally, I'm struggling. The fact that my partner has decided to block me out of his life during this time has made everything worse. I feel worthless because of him. Like he'd prefer to be alone without a burden attached to his hip. It makes me feel so unloved. I'm not sure if i'm just meant to say what's on my mind here or what. But i'm just so angry and I don't want to burden family or friends with how I'm feeling, because it clearly makes them love you less and drives them away. Which I think is so wrong and upsetting. I've battled depression for 6 years now. He knew this going into our relationship and I don't think he cares and or understands what goes on in my mind. I'm worried that he will reach the end of the week and he won't miss me. And I will have waited a week to be dumped and left behind with a broken heart and a feeling of worthlessness.