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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Jalapeno We both have mental health issues, I love him, but I think it might be time to leave. How do I decide?
  • replies: 3

I am in my first relationship, 3 years in. I never expected to settle down so quickly, but my partner and I really entangled ourselves in one another quite quickly. We made a series of decisions that I think put a lot of pressure on our relationship,... View more

I am in my first relationship, 3 years in. I never expected to settle down so quickly, but my partner and I really entangled ourselves in one another quite quickly. We made a series of decisions that I think put a lot of pressure on our relationship, such as moving interstate without us having any friends/family there, within the first 3 months of our relationship. I have a history of anxiety and depression, and now he has started treatment for the same. At first when he was diagnosed, it was a relief because I felt validated that some of my doubts and insecurities might be justified. However as many of you would know it is really only the beginning of the journey. I am only 23 while he is 37, and I must say that I am really struggling to keep supporting him when all I want to do is live a happy, adventurous and sexual life, while he is struggling to do any of these things. Commitment means an awful lot to me, and I do love him so much, but more and more I get the feeling that if I stay in the relationship I may feel resentful down the track. I am so confused about what to do. I love him, and wish I could be all the things I said I would - a life partner, and eventually hopefully a mother to his children, but I feel so exhausted and emotional and am honestly unsure of how much longer I can do this for. But because I love him so much & we've worked really hard so far, I don't know if I'm ready to give it all up. Ive loved our lifestyles that we built up together, but I get so obsessed with all the aspects of our relationship that I feel insecure about, making it hard to stay positive. It's all just really taxing. Any advice? Do I stick it out, or cut ties? I am so afraid of the consequences of either of these options. Ialso want to add that he does care, and does go out of his way to show his love but obviously it isn't all that consistent. He is never mean, and I will concede that I am sure I am inconsistent as well. If we can work through these issues we have a lot of things to look forward to, together. If. I do see a counsellor, but I guess I don't have much immediate support around me. We have great friends but we met most of them together, so it can be hard to talk to them about these personal issues. Reading the forums on beyondblue have calmed many of my late night anxiety attacks as I no longer feel so alone. Thanks so much all.

Alexanderv New in here
  • replies: 1

Hello Everyone, I would like to introduce myself, My name is Alexander, I am 24 years old.. about to turn 25 next month. Since my boyfriend broke up with me 1 year and half ago, my life its been so awful, at least the first 6 months that I couldn't s... View more

Hello Everyone, I would like to introduce myself, My name is Alexander, I am 24 years old.. about to turn 25 next month. Since my boyfriend broke up with me 1 year and half ago, my life its been so awful, at least the first 6 months that I couldn't stop thinking about him, now after seeing a few psychologist, I feel that everything is normal now, but now I'm facing this feeling of loneliness where I think I won't be able to find that person, that now guys are only looking for sex and I have this flaw, that I get attached to people to quickly.. so after they left or stopped talking to me, I felt really bad.. I tried to have a relationship, but every time I had one, the feeling is not the same, so i'm not sure whats going on with me, I have tried to go the gym, get involved in new activities but none since to help me, I stop talking to God because I'm too embarrassed of the person I become.. it is to hard to write all of this and still trying to make sense, because everything in my life is a mess, at the office, in my house, at college, I feel trapped, I don't know where to go and I have loose fear of dying and that scares me. Not sure how to put myself together... and I cannot move to another area and a start a new life because I cannot afford to lose my current job and start a new one.

girlinmelbourne Sad and alone
  • replies: 4

I've literally had enough with my husband's behaviour. My grandfather is dying in hospital interstate and when my husband dropped me off at the airport all he had to say was for me to stop acting grumpy because everyone dies. last night we had anothe... View more

I've literally had enough with my husband's behaviour. My grandfather is dying in hospital interstate and when my husband dropped me off at the airport all he had to say was for me to stop acting grumpy because everyone dies. last night we had another small issue which I tried to help find a solution for but instead he started calling me a liar and this and that and went completely off the rails at me. He kept saying awful things on purpose to make me angry. In the end I told him I've had enough of his temper tantrums and that I'm not going to sit back and take this behaviour from him. He basically said he doesn't care and to stay away if I don't like it because he's not going to change. I'm so upset. I need my husbands support at this difficult time but he just doesn't care. I don't want to divorce him but I can't keep living like this my whole life. I don't have any other friends and I've had the most difficult year with all sorts of things happening. My psychologist once suggested to him that he needs to have anger management and marriage counselling which he says ok I will go their faces but afterwards goes angry at me because I made him look bad to them. He also has been going out with his friends for most nights the last 3 months. I tried to ask him to come home at least a couple times a week so we can at least have a meal together. He just got angry and said he's not giving up his friends and he doesn't want to be stuck with me all the time. He's currently ignoring me and I don't know what to do. I've got no one to turn to except him and he won't speak to me.

Allonme Husband and father suffering under weight of obligations
  • replies: 8

My wife was diagnosed as bipolar in her thirties after various family traumas as a young g girl, akin to PTSD. I don't see any mania or happy-times in her so think it's really just depression. She's on meds and manages well, but no libido and has fal... View more

My wife was diagnosed as bipolar in her thirties after various family traumas as a young g girl, akin to PTSD. I don't see any mania or happy-times in her so think it's really just depression. She's on meds and manages well, but no libido and has fallen out with her entire family. My son didn't finish year 12 as didn't cope with school/social pressures and borderline suicidal. Later diagnosed with high functioning autism - super high IQ, but terrible anxiety and quirky OCD traits. His younger brother doesn't understand and will not give him a break. I see my son's traits in myself and believe I am also on the spectrum, but find myself overwhelmed with the responsibility of keeping it all together for them all. Just lost my job, with no assets, and huge debts - and panicking about the immediate future. I feel like like my life is a facade and just want to curl up in the foetal position in the corner and scream.

OneSyllableJ Unfair on my partner
  • replies: 4

My anxiety has been bad of late and it's having an affect on my partner. I sometimes get easily worked up or over-emotional about comments that shouldn't matter, and if I don't know how to quickly process a situation/disagreement then I tend to get a... View more

My anxiety has been bad of late and it's having an affect on my partner. I sometimes get easily worked up or over-emotional about comments that shouldn't matter, and if I don't know how to quickly process a situation/disagreement then I tend to get anxious. My partner needs me to be strong and I feel like I am the opposite of strong at the moment.

Heather_Moon Lost
  • replies: 3

I have so much to say, but no one to say it to. I have no support what so ever that is anything from a professional talking and prescribing me pills. And this I can't do any more. I spend each day going forward, but always thinking of ending my own l... View more

I have so much to say, but no one to say it to. I have no support what so ever that is anything from a professional talking and prescribing me pills. And this I can't do any more. I spend each day going forward, but always thinking of ending my own life. I think about the positives and the responsibilities I have and that seems to keep me here. But I have no out for making my own life more than that. My soul is safe and secure but my body is weak and feels like dying. I talk to no one about any of what's going on and I don't have anyone to do so with. I feel like I'm living a lie and can't find the truth of my own existence anymore. Trauma and hurt have been coming at me since I was very, very young and no amount of thought or thinking its not my fault seems to truly help. Lately I've begun a path that may not be who I truly am but it keeps me here. And I guess now if I write these words or anything it can only help and maybe others with thoughts like this can help me at least see an easier way to cope. Thank you for reading.

I_am_LAA Sick, Alone and taken for granted
  • replies: 6

Unfortunately I have a bad immune system which means a slight cold for 1 person can turn to bronchitis for me and in this case Glandular Fever with Pneumonia - 8wks sick and counting These long periods of illness causes depression for me i separated ... View more

Unfortunately I have a bad immune system which means a slight cold for 1 person can turn to bronchitis for me and in this case Glandular Fever with Pneumonia - 8wks sick and counting These long periods of illness causes depression for me i separated from my husband (who emotionally wasn't the nicest) 2yrs ago. And my family is over east I am in WA so I have no support When I am well I work my ass off and bend over to help my family (3 teenagers). But when I am sick I get no support, not even from my kids I have just been told that I am not suppose to reply on them for support in anyway In doing so I am causing undue stress and depression to them. I will admit that it has been hard dealing with the emotional overflow from a bad marriage, and I did vent at my oldest daughter mostly in the first 6mths after the separation i just feel so lost, confused and alone

Sunbather Maintaining a relationship when I'm constantly anxious
  • replies: 2

Hey all, first post here and I already feel better just typing it out haha. I'm 25 and I've suffered from anxiety and depression for the better part of 10 years. I've had quite a few relationships and dated a lot, sometimes successfully, sometimes no... View more

Hey all, first post here and I already feel better just typing it out haha. I'm 25 and I've suffered from anxiety and depression for the better part of 10 years. I've had quite a few relationships and dated a lot, sometimes successfully, sometimes not. But I'm currently seeing someone whom I care for and love deeply. The first 3 months of our relationship were full of happiness and were so easy. Recently though, I feel my anxiety re-emerging and it taking an effect on the relationship. She has troubles dealing with it and doesn't communicate much about these things where as I'm an open book. The more anxious I get, the more anxious I get that it will affect the relationship. I really want it to work and I'm hoping to find some people who've dealt with similar situations who can maybe share some anecdotes or tips from their personal lives. Thanks in advance for listening to me ramble on! Jeremy

No_worries I cant bottle it up anymore.
  • replies: 10

This is the first time using a platform like this. I've never realy been a talker. Im not sure were to start. Maybe ill try from my childhood. I moved around a lot with my mother i never met my father he bailed while my mother was pregnant. Sorta sti... View more

This is the first time using a platform like this. I've never realy been a talker. Im not sure were to start. Maybe ill try from my childhood. I moved around a lot with my mother i never met my father he bailed while my mother was pregnant. Sorta still stings probably shouldn't. My mum was a drunk and very volatile. She had a lot of bf's and i dont blame her for trying to find happiness. But her decision to have drunks for bf's brought its own poison. Ive been chased with an axe. Shot at. Watched her get beaten and the list goes on. at this point as a child in grade four. Snapped ive broken one mans arm antagonized them to attack me instead even drove her drunk ass home once or twice. Obviously i resented her for making me violent and untrusting. I left home at 14 moved in with a lady who was friends with my mother for many years. She helped me through school but that came with its own problems being short tempered and angry didnt help. I was lucky to have a principal who understood my background. I eventually finished in year 10 got a well paying job. But with the money i drank did drugs and met a lot of women but i could never settle. The idea of being in a relationship disgusted me. In saying that i met a girl when i was 8. I eventually started dating her in highschool i wont go into detail but it didnt work out. I eventually spiraled from drink driving and having some bad crashes in and out of lockup from fighting. Fourth dui the judge said i was going to jail. I freaked out and put in for enlistment into the ADF he gave me one last chance. So i joined and thats a whole other story. While i was close to discharge i met a woman who made me feel things i didnt know i could and she never gave herself up even with my A game she was by all definitions a lady. I knew i loved her because i had no interest in other woman and she was on my mind all the time. Ive won awards for marksmanship but after meeting her i began to slip and loose focus. So instead of reinlisting i left. Three months after first date i asked her to marry me she said yes. We have a beautiful baby 4 month old girl now. im very successful in my job. But i now find her not talking to me she is angry sad and everything seems like its failing. I feel like a failure as a husband and father i work long hours and i love my daughter so mutch but im strugling to bond i dont talk about my past and i think all those bottles are breaking or broken im lost and not sure how to fix myself.

Boeing747 Not coping...2 weeks after a break up
  • replies: 5

My partner broke up with me out of the blue after nearly 3,5 years together just over 2 weeks ago. I have been a mess. I got on a flight the very next day to Bali and holed myself up in a hotel room to stop/block out the pain. Somehow I managed to ge... View more

My partner broke up with me out of the blue after nearly 3,5 years together just over 2 weeks ago. I have been a mess. I got on a flight the very next day to Bali and holed myself up in a hotel room to stop/block out the pain. Somehow I managed to get through 2 nights of hell to come back to Australia. He subsequently went to family in the ACT. He got back Wednesday and we have been communicating as we own a unit together and there is much to resolve. Before he got back I made a decision to move into a share house as it was not going to be good for my healing. The last 2 days have hit me badly and I am back to being a crying mess. Yesterday was the first time he actually saw me in such emotional pain. His reaction seemed cold and without feeling. He keeps saying he wants us to emerge from this as friends (and so do I) but I am sore so deep inside and am walking around in an absolute zombie state. My appetite has disappeared and I have lost 6kgs since he broke it off. I am utterly devastated and simply do not know how to cope with the anxiety and feeling of loss/grief. I am sick of hearing the clichés that time will heal your broken heart etc. It sounds empty, hollow and meaningless. I just want to move forward but seriously feel stuck right now.