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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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KyAn conflicted
  • replies: 2

Hello, the other night my partner came home from work. Lately he has been drinking a lot of beer and now he is coming home drinking small amount of beer, smoking weed and now has taken up smoking cigarettes again. We have been having problems due to ... View more

Hello, the other night my partner came home from work. Lately he has been drinking a lot of beer and now he is coming home drinking small amount of beer, smoking weed and now has taken up smoking cigarettes again. We have been having problems due to the excessive drinking and recently took up smoking weed with it. Not a good combo. Apart from our relationship issue, he has had issue with his family too. I see that his thinking is distorted. For the other night I came out of bedroom to say Can you please turn music down. In his heightened reply He says We need to talk. He feels I need to go back north for a while, as us living together isn't working out, or we will break up. I cried by saying I have been thinking same only short term thou, so I can see my mum and take a small break too. My partner is wanting his space and he doesn't want to bother me and he feels it will help our relationship. I said this is my home too and I do love it here. I really think his attitude has changed with us due to combo of weed and alcohol. As I notice these things do not last very long with him. I discussed further last night and he says Look just give it a try and if it works it works and if it doesn't then come back. I do want a break but want to feel I can be with my partner too, like he also wanting me to be here. I think he wants me gone for a while so he can go nuts on drinking, smoking weed, inviting people over, andhe is 38 years of age. I feel really conflicted with whats going on and starting to feel unwanted, and depressed, anxious of this. As last year our relationship very strained because of drinking. In Law of Attraction to focus on what I want and I have been. As I want my partner to come back to earth and want to be with me in a mature way.

MissMc MUM ISSUES and at breaking point :(
  • replies: 3

My mum lives with me and she's 72 yrs, I work fulltime and train 6 days a week which I love and is my outlet but over the past 3 weeks leading up to Xmas my work load became very unbearable and hectic and very very very stressful, as I work in the Re... View more

My mum lives with me and she's 72 yrs, I work fulltime and train 6 days a week which I love and is my outlet but over the past 3 weeks leading up to Xmas my work load became very unbearable and hectic and very very very stressful, as I work in the Retail Industry and with the forever abuse and insults from customers really pushed me to my bare limits, I'm now on holidays till nxt Weds well deserved am relaxing and enjoying my down time but with my mum becoming ever so lazy and will not contribute to household cleaning etc, all she does is sit and watch TV from the time she gets up, till the time she goes to bed have suggested for to go walking mornings and evenings but her words are IM NOT GOING TO BE PUSHED OUT OF MY HOME????? .. and theres no medical evidence for her not to contribute to the household chores, its becoming very stressful and hard for me to do the chores myself where she just sits there.... In the past with experience she can be very malipitive and very self centred and spiteful, she's all the time following and watching what I do in my own house and she even writes what I do in her diary?.... how do I know this I have looked in her diary, yes bad but!!!!! She also watching me with what I eat and she goes through the bins daily?????..... Its become stressful living in my own house and yes have had words to her about this but nothing, she knows what she is doing and how it is effecting me, but continues to be this way! my gut feeling is she wants me to be a slave to her and she causers trouble within the family in the past and present and thinks nothing of it, and from past experience she also a compulsive lier and plays the victim and in everyones business and doesn't respect boundries NO doctors wanna aknowledge that she might have a mental issue .....

Jorja25 Who can I turn to?
  • replies: 2

Hello This is my first thread I have suffered with depression for a couple of years on and off, this year (2017) has particularly been the hardest as my partner has been working away, due to his jealously and insecurity I've pretty much just stayed a... View more

Hello This is my first thread I have suffered with depression for a couple of years on and off, this year (2017) has particularly been the hardest as my partner has been working away, due to his jealously and insecurity I've pretty much just stayed at home alone for most of the year, go to work, come home, go to work, come home, and spent countless weekends sitting around the house to the point of becoming a zombie, a few weeks ago I asked a good friend I work with if everything was ok as she had seemed distant towards me for a while, her response was that I'm "to much of a downer" to be around, and that I need to stop thinking of myself because everyone goes through hard times, I understand where she was coming from but I ended up crying in the car on the way home due to feeling that one of my good friends could be so cruel instead of simply asking "is everything ok. About a week ago by partner pretty much said the samething, only he asked if he was the reason "I've changed" I said no because I don't want a fight, in some parts though it is. After having a close friend of 5 years push you away and a partner of 3 years, who can I turn to?

Lilliblue I have no idea what's going on....
  • replies: 1

I've been struggling with depression and anxiety since I was 15 years old, probably earlier. I spent many years self medicating with booze, drugs and sex. In the last year I've finally gotten myself medicated, it's helped a lot and evened me out quit... View more

I've been struggling with depression and anxiety since I was 15 years old, probably earlier. I spent many years self medicating with booze, drugs and sex. In the last year I've finally gotten myself medicated, it's helped a lot and evened me out quite a bit, however my anxiety is still there and my doctor is very hesitant to give me anti anxiety drugs because they can be very addictive and because I've had many struggles with addiction. Which leads me to what's been going on over the last couple of days.... I met someone after quite a long period of being single, 4 years in fact. He's a little younger than me, 5 years. We've been together for 4 months. Things have progressed quite quickly. That's probably not healthy in it's self, however, I've found myself smack bang in love. The thing I think I'm struggling with the most, personally, are my abandonment issues (Thanks Mum!). I find it really hard when he's away from me not to worry that he's never coming back. I'm currently in tangles of anxiety because he's been away for a couple of nights. He's kind of stranded where he is and he doesn't own a phone, so he's almost impossible to contact. His family get frustrated with me when I text or call to get hold of him, which creates more bullsh*t for me. He constantly reassures me that he's coming home. He's been very demonstrative in his love and affection but I just can't shake the feeling I'm going to end up alone again. It's there, it's constant and it's driving me crazy. I don't know how to let it go. I hate feeling this way. I'm a mess. I miss him terribly. Just writing this has put me in tears. I'm sorry if this doesn't make any sense. I think I just need a little reassurance that I'm not crazy.

mcl0014 i left home - help
  • replies: 2

this is to do with my relationship with my parental figures/guardians. long story short a lot of events have been leading up to this moment (over 6 months to a year of built up issues) because this situation is quite complicated. basically, I have be... View more

this is to do with my relationship with my parental figures/guardians. long story short a lot of events have been leading up to this moment (over 6 months to a year of built up issues) because this situation is quite complicated. basically, I have become so emotionally, mentally and physically run down because of the pressure I'm under from my parents. this is because I do everything for them, I cook and clean the house, look after my siblings all the time whenever I'm not working, and I'm working in the family business 24/7 not being payed the proper amount or being treated the same as any other employee there because of family ties. do everything under the sun to help support my family, I broke. the last straw was an argument I got into with my parents and they said some things to me that were extremely nasty and hurtful and left me home. so I turned around and phoned them up and explained I would be staying with another family relative for a few days to have some space, take a break and distress because I was at breaking point. however they didn't take it very well and then I was harassed with phone calls and texts, being accused and attacked and made to feel unimportant and that my feelings were wrong although they know my mental health history. its been 4 days now, and I'm going back home, and I don't know how to handle them. has anyone else experienced anything like this? if so I'm in need of urgent help and I need advice because I don't have a lot of support. in advance thankyou to everyone

Bennyh916 Need help please
  • replies: 12

Hey guys, i was just wondering if anyone is able to help me try to understand why I am the way I am with my girlfriend. i have treated her like she wasn’t good enough, made her feel unwanted, lied to her, hid things from her, over reacted and got ang... View more

Hey guys, i was just wondering if anyone is able to help me try to understand why I am the way I am with my girlfriend. i have treated her like she wasn’t good enough, made her feel unwanted, lied to her, hid things from her, over reacted and got angry with her questioning my lies to try to cover myself, I’ve pushedbher to breaking point and i know this is not who I wanted to be and I know I can change. I know I don’t like the person I am and I need to change for the better and I will do anything it takes to make sure that I’m not a selfish person who only thinks of myself and be everything she needs, wants and desires i love her so much but I feel like I’ve pushed her to noting breaking point and know she will leave me and never come back. I know I can be a better man for her and not make these mistakes again I cant keep doing these things and I don’t have anyone I can turn to to listen, Ive pushed away anyone who was close to me lost all my friends and I’m lost. I just can’t keep living like this guys. Please help me and any and all advice is taken seriously thanks heaps Ben

MsCJ Feeling lost and lonely
  • replies: 2

Hi, I have joined this as I have nowhere to go and no-one to talk to about the problems I have. Most days I struggle with life, I have a job that leaves me feeling totally drained and exhausted mainly from feeling overwhelmed with my work load and ex... View more

Hi, I have joined this as I have nowhere to go and no-one to talk to about the problems I have. Most days I struggle with life, I have a job that leaves me feeling totally drained and exhausted mainly from feeling overwhelmed with my work load and excluded and isolated from the other staff. Don't say "get another job" I have been trying for nearly 2 years now but as I am on the wrong side of 50 and already employed most employers won't even consider me. Also as I would need to give notice most employers want you to start 'now'. I have gotten short listed and even had some interviews to be passed over due to other applicants being available to start straight away. I have major struggles trying to get my wages to stretch to pay basic living costs, and when I find out that my ex husband who managed to get everything in our divorce has just himself something else it is upsetting. We were married for 23 yrs and I left the marriage as I know if I hadn't I would not be here today and I only managed to leave as my eldest son helped me as I couldn't see any way out I didn't have any money for bond or rent or anything and I didn't feel that I could go to anyone for help. He didn't hit me or be violent at all but now I know that what he did was make me feel useless and everything was my fault. I have no friends and I see on tv they say get out and join groups great idea but most cost money if only for fuel to get there so it's not an option I live in a rural area where the nearest town is 24 ks away. I lost my mum 3 years ago and she was the only person I had to talk to about my problems. My children are nearly all adults now as my youngest will be 18 in early 2018 and I can't talk with them about my problems they just want to be able to come to me with their problems. I am so over being the responsible one their dad barely had anything to do with them and I'm tired. I have struggled all my life to just get by, my mum had a very hard life and we lost her just when she believed her life might get better. Truly there are times when I just don't believe that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Sorry for the long rant I just thought it might help to get some of it of my chest.

Lillyloopy Help i dont know what to do
  • replies: 2

I told my husband today that i want to seperate. He didnt take it well . He is involving my kids but im trying to protect them from any discussions. He was telling one of them that i dont want him anymore and he has to leave. My son was so upset in f... View more

I told my husband today that i want to seperate. He didnt take it well . He is involving my kids but im trying to protect them from any discussions. He was telling one of them that i dont want him anymore and he has to leave. My son was so upset in floods of tears. Im scared what he is going to do next. He is downstairs drinking and i cant ring any one as i have 2 kids in bed with me and all text help lines are closed. I dont know what to do

Moimoi To pursue a relationship or not??
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, I have been friends with this guy for about three years but there’s never been anything between us till recently, where he came over and we ended up making out. The only problem is I have severe depression, anxiety and a food disorder an... View more

Hi everyone, I have been friends with this guy for about three years but there’s never been anything between us till recently, where he came over and we ended up making out. The only problem is I have severe depression, anxiety and a food disorder and I don’t know whether to try and pursue a relationship with him or I really shouldn’t because I’ll wreck it and any friendship we had. He doesn’t have any clue I’ve got the disorders either.

Scaredy Used to be the life of the party
  • replies: 7

I was a total nerd in high school; never had a boyfriend or any love interest. Went to uni and worked out I was actually quite attractive and could get any guy I wanted, and treated them like garbage. I had loads of friends and partied a lot. A few y... View more

I was a total nerd in high school; never had a boyfriend or any love interest. Went to uni and worked out I was actually quite attractive and could get any guy I wanted, and treated them like garbage. I had loads of friends and partied a lot. A few years later I met a nice man and had kids. I could have stayed at home to raise them, but decided to go back to work because I was bored out of my brain and I had no common interests with the other mums at playgroups etc... I have a couple of close friends but have trouble making new friends. Everyone is just so engrossed in their own lives that no one wants to do anything - they are all too busy. I work in a large organisation. Every time there is a social event - like a breakfast or a lunch - I go missing. I just cannot handle being around so many people and I hate the focus of being provided breakfast etc.... There was a recent staff Xmas party and I lied about not being able to attend. No one invites me to anything. I am really a nice person who would do anything for someone. I have been doing random acts of kindness to people. I help people all the time but no one wants to socialise with me out of work. Everything I do is with my husband and kids. I would love to go out occasionally with a friend but it never eventuates. I think I prefer just to stay at home - its easier.