Relationship and family issues

My wife gave her ring back today...

replies: 7

My wife finally had enough of all my self hate, and has given me the ultimatum that if I don't get help, she's taking my daughter and leaving me... I thought I was doing ok. But, it's really just gotten worse. I'm fly off the handle over nothing. My ... View more

My wife finally had enough of all my self hate, and has given me the ultimatum that if I don't get help, she's taking my daughter and leaving me... I thought I was doing ok. But, it's really just gotten worse. I'm fly off the handle over nothing. My anxiety is worse than ever. Sometimes i just want to cover myself with sheets and never get out of bed again... the worst part is, i'm going to ruin my daughter's life... already ruining my wifes.

Forever Single

replies: 1

A little bit about me - I'm 24 and have never been in a relationship. I have had many sexual experiences and have dated a lot but have just never been able to commit to or be exclusive with anyone (even when I had feelings for the person). Not becaus... View more

A little bit about me - I'm 24 and have never been in a relationship. I have had many sexual experiences and have dated a lot but have just never been able to commit to or be exclusive with anyone (even when I had feelings for the person). Not because I haven't had the opportunity to be in a relationship, but because it just makes me feel uncomfortable. Ever since I was fifteen I've known romantic love wasn't really a thing for me. Ever since I had my first crush I've had a fear of commitment - I remember them telling me they felt the same way and I felt so uncomfortable about it, and immediately moved on. It's not a fear of vulnerability because I'm very good at doing that. It's just ingrained into me to avoid relationships and be single. I want to feel normal and like I can do normal things like commit to someone and be in love. I just feel like it's not supposed to happen to me, and I try desperately to change it by going on lots of dates hoping I'll find someone who will make me change my mind. I'm very picky and no one interests me. My friends all say that I just have to find the right person but even when I really like someone it just doesn't feel right for me not to be single. I feel like if I was in a relationship I would feel trapped and like I'm not being myself - I think it's just such a foreign thing to me, I wouldn't know how to cope. I would like to feel normal and be in a committed relationship like all my friends but I don't know if dating will ever feel right to me. I feel like it's not really normal that I've only had feelings for two people in my entire life and that everyone else finds falling in love so easy. A few of my friends went on their first date ever and now have been with the same guy for two years. I've had hundreds of dates and never find myself interested in anyone. I'm tired of hearing "I didn't meet my partner until I was ___, you'll find the right person etc" when I'm not even sure if it's true (or if I ever want to be with anyone anyway). I just feel like an outsider when everyone else is so madly in love and building their lives with their partners. Has anyone else ever felt the same or had a similar fear of commitment? How did you cope? Thanks for listening.

Zero sex drive in an otherwise good relationship

replies: 8

Hi all! First post on a public forum. I'm having a massive internal struggle (for about the 20th time). I am 29 and have been with my current partner for a year and a bit. Although we have very different hobbies and are different personalities - I'm ... View more

Hi all! First post on a public forum. I'm having a massive internal struggle (for about the 20th time). I am 29 and have been with my current partner for a year and a bit. Although we have very different hobbies and are different personalities - I'm outspoken, tough exterior and a bit sassy, he's soft, sweet, gentle and a part time nerd - I love him very much. However, I have very little desire to have sex. Like, no desire. If I didn't have it for another 3 months I'd be fine with that. My problem is, I don't know if it's because I'm not passionately attracted to him, or if it's the medications I am on, or if it's because I have a very emotional tense job! I have spoke to my GP about it and have changed 1 of the medications (the oral contraceptive) and have lowered the dose of my other meds. ...no change and that was at least a month and a half ago. My job is very emotional and I deal with animal cruelty, euthanasias, neglect and the likes on a daily basis for over 8hrs a day. I feel like 'home' with my partner and we are both happy; we go out and do things on weekends, he is fully supportive of me, we communicate well, and we both love each other's company. But I'd be much happier having a cuddle and a glass of wine on the couch with him, than having anything sexual happen! We've discussed it a few times and he's very understanding and says "We'll just keep trying" but I feel pressure, a lot of pressure, and like it's my fault. And then when he tries to instigate I feel bad saying no. It's always on my mind and I feel like I 'owe' him it which is sh!t for me but I don't know what else to do. Any advice would be much appreciated!!

Go away December... hurry up January!

replies: 7

Today is the 28th of November, and January can't get here soon enough. I really do dislike December. For many people, December means social gatherings with colleagues, friends and family, to celebrate the spirit of giving. And with NYE and the firewo... View more

Today is the 28th of November, and January can't get here soon enough. I really do dislike December. For many people, December means social gatherings with colleagues, friends and family, to celebrate the spirit of giving. And with NYE and the fireworks, the hope of a new year and a better tomorrow. Where externally I put on a good show, for the benefits of family and friends, internally it is the painful prequel leading up to a time of disappointment and loneliness. As far back as I can recall, I have always been the outsider, the castaway, and the excluded. At first, Christmas was the day spent sitting in the chair, quietly facing the wall, whilst siblings and cousins played with the new games and toys. Later it became that day quietly sitting in the other room, whilst they shared eggnog, merrily conversed and shared a pleasant meal. Now days, it's pretending to be happy so my kids don't have to experience that hollow absence that always visited me. My hope is that my kids will never learn of my holiday misery, that they will instead pass on holiday joy to their families (when that time comes), and that they will never feel the loneliness of Christmas. On the positive side, my kids are flying down on Christmas day to see their mother. (they should be gone by the time I feel blue)

MIL and Partner issues....

replies: 1

Hi All, This is the first time i have posted anything about this, so i am sorry if it is rather long. I am a 33 y/o mother of three beautiful children, and i am in management in the Mental Health sector (i am hoping that you realize that i am not stu... View more

Hi All, This is the first time i have posted anything about this, so i am sorry if it is rather long. I am a 33 y/o mother of three beautiful children, and i am in management in the Mental Health sector (i am hoping that you realize that i am not stupid, and have a brain!)Basically, i have been with the Mr. for 13 years, and it has been a real struggle. I love him, so much, i have split from him several times, but the last time (the worst) i realized that he is my person, and that i want to be in this with him. After 7 years of trying to get him help, he got diagnosed with severe and chronic depression and anxiety, and was given a treatment plan to help him with this. He started taking the medications, and started doing the work involved, and after just under two months, i saw him again. The man i love. He started working, he was spending time with our two children then, was exercising and eating right, and had no more nightmares- and our relationship was thriving. The issue is, his mother decided to intervene, and convince him that his only issue was me. And that he was fine, he didn't need medications, or any help, and that just because i worked in Mental Health, i was "bringing my work home" and making him a case study. Needless to say, he stopped all treatment, cold turkey. Within 2 months, it was back to him not working, and verbally and emotionally abusing myself, and at times, the children. I told him, we are over. He invited his mother over, to talk to me. She said to me, in front of him, that i was being stupid, and that i am just looking for a fight. That i should just do what a "good partner and mother" does, and shut up. We split for a few weeks, and i took him back. He did try. He worked, he focused on the kids, and we hardly ever fought. Then, we got pregnant again, and his mother decided to tell me once again i am an idiot and that i should just abort the "thing". And when i tried to tell him, he believed his mother of course. Whole lot has happened since then, but at the moment i am not talking to her, it has been three months. This is because, she goaded him and lied to him to the point that he and i had a massive fight, and i called the police- and i now have an AVO on him.She of course, blames me for this. I have so much that has happened between us in the last few months, and now she is wriggling her way back into our lives, and it has been amazing without her in it... what do i do? I know he is to blame, but she also makes it worse.

conflicted

replies: 2

Hello, the other night my partner came home from work. Lately he has been drinking a lot of beer and now he is coming home drinking small amount of beer, smoking weed and now has taken up smoking cigarettes again. We have been having problems due to ... View more

Hello, the other night my partner came home from work. Lately he has been drinking a lot of beer and now he is coming home drinking small amount of beer, smoking weed and now has taken up smoking cigarettes again. We have been having problems due to the excessive drinking and recently took up smoking weed with it. Not a good combo. Apart from our relationship issue, he has had issue with his family too. I see that his thinking is distorted. For the other night I came out of bedroom to say Can you please turn music down. In his heightened reply He says We need to talk. He feels I need to go back north for a while, as us living together isn't working out, or we will break up. I cried by saying I have been thinking same only short term thou, so I can see my mum and take a small break too. My partner is wanting his space and he doesn't want to bother me and he feels it will help our relationship. I said this is my home too and I do love it here. I really think his attitude has changed with us due to combo of weed and alcohol. As I notice these things do not last very long with him. I discussed further last night and he says Look just give it a try and if it works it works and if it doesn't then come back. I do want a break but want to feel I can be with my partner too, like he also wanting me to be here. I think he wants me gone for a while so he can go nuts on drinking, smoking weed, inviting people over, andhe is 38 years of age. I feel really conflicted with whats going on and starting to feel unwanted, and depressed, anxious of this. As last year our relationship very strained because of drinking. In Law of Attraction to focus on what I want and I have been. As I want my partner to come back to earth and want to be with me in a mature way.

MUM ISSUES and at breaking point :(

replies: 3

My mum lives with me and she's 72 yrs, I work fulltime and train 6 days a week which I love and is my outlet but over the past 3 weeks leading up to Xmas my work load became very unbearable and hectic and very very very stressful, as I work in the Re... View more

My mum lives with me and she's 72 yrs, I work fulltime and train 6 days a week which I love and is my outlet but over the past 3 weeks leading up to Xmas my work load became very unbearable and hectic and very very very stressful, as I work in the Retail Industry and with the forever abuse and insults from customers really pushed me to my bare limits, I'm now on holidays till nxt Weds well deserved am relaxing and enjoying my down time but with my mum becoming ever so lazy and will not contribute to household cleaning etc, all she does is sit and watch TV from the time she gets up, till the time she goes to bed have suggested for to go walking mornings and evenings but her words are IM NOT GOING TO BE PUSHED OUT OF MY HOME????? .. and theres no medical evidence for her not to contribute to the household chores, its becoming very stressful and hard for me to do the chores myself where she just sits there.... In the past with experience she can be very malipitive and very self centred and spiteful, she's all the time following and watching what I do in my own house and she even writes what I do in her diary?.... how do I know this I have looked in her diary, yes bad but!!!!! She also watching me with what I eat and she goes through the bins daily?????..... Its become stressful living in my own house and yes have had words to her about this but nothing, she knows what she is doing and how it is effecting me, but continues to be this way! my gut feeling is she wants me to be a slave to her and she causers trouble within the family in the past and present and thinks nothing of it, and from past experience she also a compulsive lier and plays the victim and in everyones business and doesn't respect boundries NO doctors wanna aknowledge that she might have a mental issue .....

Who can I turn to?

replies: 2

Hello This is my first thread I have suffered with depression for a couple of years on and off, this year (2017) has particularly been the hardest as my partner has been working away, due to his jealously and insecurity I've pretty much just stayed a... View more

Hello This is my first thread I have suffered with depression for a couple of years on and off, this year (2017) has particularly been the hardest as my partner has been working away, due to his jealously and insecurity I've pretty much just stayed at home alone for most of the year, go to work, come home, go to work, come home, and spent countless weekends sitting around the house to the point of becoming a zombie, a few weeks ago I asked a good friend I work with if everything was ok as she had seemed distant towards me for a while, her response was that I'm "to much of a downer" to be around, and that I need to stop thinking of myself because everyone goes through hard times, I understand where she was coming from but I ended up crying in the car on the way home due to feeling that one of my good friends could be so cruel instead of simply asking "is everything ok. About a week ago by partner pretty much said the samething, only he asked if he was the reason "I've changed" I said no because I don't want a fight, in some parts though it is. After having a close friend of 5 years push you away and a partner of 3 years, who can I turn to?

I have no idea what's going on....

replies: 1

I've been struggling with depression and anxiety since I was 15 years old, probably earlier. I spent many years self medicating with booze, drugs and sex. In the last year I've finally gotten myself medicated, it's helped a lot and evened me out quit... View more

I've been struggling with depression and anxiety since I was 15 years old, probably earlier. I spent many years self medicating with booze, drugs and sex. In the last year I've finally gotten myself medicated, it's helped a lot and evened me out quite a bit, however my anxiety is still there and my doctor is very hesitant to give me anti anxiety drugs because they can be very addictive and because I've had many struggles with addiction. Which leads me to what's been going on over the last couple of days.... I met someone after quite a long period of being single, 4 years in fact. He's a little younger than me, 5 years. We've been together for 4 months. Things have progressed quite quickly. That's probably not healthy in it's self, however, I've found myself smack bang in love. The thing I think I'm struggling with the most, personally, are my abandonment issues (Thanks Mum!). I find it really hard when he's away from me not to worry that he's never coming back. I'm currently in tangles of anxiety because he's been away for a couple of nights. He's kind of stranded where he is and he doesn't own a phone, so he's almost impossible to contact. His family get frustrated with me when I text or call to get hold of him, which creates more bullsh*t for me. He constantly reassures me that he's coming home. He's been very demonstrative in his love and affection but I just can't shake the feeling I'm going to end up alone again. It's there, it's constant and it's driving me crazy. I don't know how to let it go. I hate feeling this way. I'm a mess. I miss him terribly. Just writing this has put me in tears. I'm sorry if this doesn't make any sense. I think I just need a little reassurance that I'm not crazy.

i left home - help

replies: 2

this is to do with my relationship with my parental figures/guardians. long story short a lot of events have been leading up to this moment (over 6 months to a year of built up issues) because this situation is quite complicated. basically, I have be... View more

this is to do with my relationship with my parental figures/guardians. long story short a lot of events have been leading up to this moment (over 6 months to a year of built up issues) because this situation is quite complicated. basically, I have become so emotionally, mentally and physically run down because of the pressure I'm under from my parents. this is because I do everything for them, I cook and clean the house, look after my siblings all the time whenever I'm not working, and I'm working in the family business 24/7 not being payed the proper amount or being treated the same as any other employee there because of family ties. do everything under the sun to help support my family, I broke. the last straw was an argument I got into with my parents and they said some things to me that were extremely nasty and hurtful and left me home. so I turned around and phoned them up and explained I would be staying with another family relative for a few days to have some space, take a break and distress because I was at breaking point. however they didn't take it very well and then I was harassed with phone calls and texts, being accused and attacked and made to feel unimportant and that my feelings were wrong although they know my mental health history. its been 4 days now, and I'm going back home, and I don't know how to handle them. has anyone else experienced anything like this? if so I'm in need of urgent help and I need advice because I don't have a lot of support. in advance thankyou to everyone

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Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about

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