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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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MsCJ Feeling lost and lonely
  • replies: 2

Hi, I have joined this as I have nowhere to go and no-one to talk to about the problems I have. Most days I struggle with life, I have a job that leaves me feeling totally drained and exhausted mainly from feeling overwhelmed with my work load and ex... View more

Hi, I have joined this as I have nowhere to go and no-one to talk to about the problems I have. Most days I struggle with life, I have a job that leaves me feeling totally drained and exhausted mainly from feeling overwhelmed with my work load and excluded and isolated from the other staff. Don't say "get another job" I have been trying for nearly 2 years now but as I am on the wrong side of 50 and already employed most employers won't even consider me. Also as I would need to give notice most employers want you to start 'now'. I have gotten short listed and even had some interviews to be passed over due to other applicants being available to start straight away. I have major struggles trying to get my wages to stretch to pay basic living costs, and when I find out that my ex husband who managed to get everything in our divorce has just himself something else it is upsetting. We were married for 23 yrs and I left the marriage as I know if I hadn't I would not be here today and I only managed to leave as my eldest son helped me as I couldn't see any way out I didn't have any money for bond or rent or anything and I didn't feel that I could go to anyone for help. He didn't hit me or be violent at all but now I know that what he did was make me feel useless and everything was my fault. I have no friends and I see on tv they say get out and join groups great idea but most cost money if only for fuel to get there so it's not an option I live in a rural area where the nearest town is 24 ks away. I lost my mum 3 years ago and she was the only person I had to talk to about my problems. My children are nearly all adults now as my youngest will be 18 in early 2018 and I can't talk with them about my problems they just want to be able to come to me with their problems. I am so over being the responsible one their dad barely had anything to do with them and I'm tired. I have struggled all my life to just get by, my mum had a very hard life and we lost her just when she believed her life might get better. Truly there are times when I just don't believe that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Sorry for the long rant I just thought it might help to get some of it of my chest.

Lillyloopy Help i dont know what to do
  • replies: 2

I told my husband today that i want to seperate. He didnt take it well . He is involving my kids but im trying to protect them from any discussions. He was telling one of them that i dont want him anymore and he has to leave. My son was so upset in f... View more

I told my husband today that i want to seperate. He didnt take it well . He is involving my kids but im trying to protect them from any discussions. He was telling one of them that i dont want him anymore and he has to leave. My son was so upset in floods of tears. Im scared what he is going to do next. He is downstairs drinking and i cant ring any one as i have 2 kids in bed with me and all text help lines are closed. I dont know what to do

Moimoi To pursue a relationship or not??
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, I have been friends with this guy for about three years but there’s never been anything between us till recently, where he came over and we ended up making out. The only problem is I have severe depression, anxiety and a food disorder an... View more

Hi everyone, I have been friends with this guy for about three years but there’s never been anything between us till recently, where he came over and we ended up making out. The only problem is I have severe depression, anxiety and a food disorder and I don’t know whether to try and pursue a relationship with him or I really shouldn’t because I’ll wreck it and any friendship we had. He doesn’t have any clue I’ve got the disorders either.

Scaredy Used to be the life of the party
  • replies: 7

I was a total nerd in high school; never had a boyfriend or any love interest. Went to uni and worked out I was actually quite attractive and could get any guy I wanted, and treated them like garbage. I had loads of friends and partied a lot. A few y... View more

I was a total nerd in high school; never had a boyfriend or any love interest. Went to uni and worked out I was actually quite attractive and could get any guy I wanted, and treated them like garbage. I had loads of friends and partied a lot. A few years later I met a nice man and had kids. I could have stayed at home to raise them, but decided to go back to work because I was bored out of my brain and I had no common interests with the other mums at playgroups etc... I have a couple of close friends but have trouble making new friends. Everyone is just so engrossed in their own lives that no one wants to do anything - they are all too busy. I work in a large organisation. Every time there is a social event - like a breakfast or a lunch - I go missing. I just cannot handle being around so many people and I hate the focus of being provided breakfast etc.... There was a recent staff Xmas party and I lied about not being able to attend. No one invites me to anything. I am really a nice person who would do anything for someone. I have been doing random acts of kindness to people. I help people all the time but no one wants to socialise with me out of work. Everything I do is with my husband and kids. I would love to go out occasionally with a friend but it never eventuates. I think I prefer just to stay at home - its easier.

mcl0014 overthinking/insecurities in relationship
  • replies: 8

I'm worried my insecurities is going to get in between my relationship. sometimes I just feel like I'm extra baggage. I feel like I cant get anything right either, like ill never be good enough, and this isnt because of anything he has done or said t... View more

I'm worried my insecurities is going to get in between my relationship. sometimes I just feel like I'm extra baggage. I feel like I cant get anything right either, like ill never be good enough, and this isnt because of anything he has done or said to make me believe this, this is just purely my own personal issues. but what scares me the most is that because I have these insecurities and fears and I don't know how to conquer them, I'm worried it will get in the way of my relationship. I bring up stupid issues, insignificant problems about other girls, which I know is ridiculous because he is faithful and I trust him but its my own thoughts. i get jealous and sometimes to rest my thoughts i feel i need validation from him. i dont like this feeling and well I just don't know what to do or how to stop this overthinking and worry before it could destroy one of the most amazing things in my life. does anyone have any tips or advice?

Dinkidie Can’t understand why
  • replies: 1

Hi I’m Di I can’t understand why I keep have anxiety over things that are t even happening I’m so panicked all the time that something is wrong with my fur babies that he bothers my partner the thought of going to work makes me feel sick and having n... View more

Hi I’m Di I can’t understand why I keep have anxiety over things that are t even happening I’m so panicked all the time that something is wrong with my fur babies that he bothers my partner the thought of going to work makes me feel sick and having no money is not great all the time but since moving so far away from my family I don’t feel connected anymore my partner can’t understand what’s wrong with me I don’t understand I use to have an amazing doctor back in Sydney but since I have moved I havent found a new doctor or made any new friends I ended up in hospital lasts week due to a bad reaction and was publicly shamed at work for it I honestly wished I never moved I had a good support group friends family and a good hour job where my dogs never suffered I am weird for feeling this way?

Lachy21savage Seperation
  • replies: 10

So there's a person in my life who I just get super upset when I can't be around them. They live far away and are kind of like a father figure in a way. I get this feeling of hollowness and deep sadness the days after I leave their presence. recently... View more

So there's a person in my life who I just get super upset when I can't be around them. They live far away and are kind of like a father figure in a way. I get this feeling of hollowness and deep sadness the days after I leave their presence. recently it has gotten worse as I felt kind of physically sick e.g. Loss of appetite. I don't know whether this is just an intense love (not relationship/ sexual but a companionship way) and I that I cannot deal with the fact that I can't be around them. Has anybody had a similar experience?

Aussiegirl92 Being Excluded
  • replies: 5

I work in a military unit, and we basically don't get to have time to meet people outside of work. So everyone at work is friends. Except me. I do have a hobby, I teach kids Taekwon-do. But it doesn't really provide me with a social life. At work bei... View more

I work in a military unit, and we basically don't get to have time to meet people outside of work. So everyone at work is friends. Except me. I do have a hobby, I teach kids Taekwon-do. But it doesn't really provide me with a social life. At work being a part of the unit is super important and I guess I just messed up on the first gathering and now I don't get invited at all. Even my own partner has lied directly to my face about events that are happening that I'm not included in. The last social gathering I was included in was my own birthday. And only my boyfriend turned up. At first I figured maybe it would take time. If I was super nice and helped people with their work and whatever else they might accept me. But now it's been years and every Christmas they have an orphans gathering for everyone who can't see their family due to being interstate and I've never been invited. I'm not even sure if I'll see a friendly face on new years. I am so sad and lonely. And sometimes I wonder what is wrong with me. I just wish I could be part of the team that I serve my country with. I couldn't care if I just sat in the back and didn't really be involved I'd just like to be a part of something. I work really hard and I'm passionate about my work but it's just so lonely. Especially because my partner only sees me alone and refuses to go to social gatherings with me and lies to me and goes alone. It feels as though I did something really wrong to hurt someone but I don't remember anything like that. I'm a bit quirky and sometimes I'm loud but I try to be kind and look out for people. I must just not have the right qualities to fit in. At first I thought I'd just be ok with it but at Christmas seeing the Facebook photo of everyone around the table just made me so sad. I wish I had a friend in the world.

Vicky6 Is it bad that the only person I want to need is myself?
  • replies: 1

I quite often find myself in moments when I'm upset, not reaching out to someone as I don't want them to help me. I worry if I seek comfort from them I will start to need it? I want to be able to comfort and cope by myself! I think I ultimately belie... View more

I quite often find myself in moments when I'm upset, not reaching out to someone as I don't want them to help me. I worry if I seek comfort from them I will start to need it? I want to be able to comfort and cope by myself! I think I ultimately believe that eventually everyone will either die or just leave me, and I don't want to rely on anyone! I'm not sure where this has stemmed from as no one close to me has ever died or really left me! Still I wonder if this kind of behaviour is healthy and whether it will help me in the future. I worry that all this does is stop me from opening up and trusting others. But again even if trusting others is healthy, why am I so scared to do it? Should I? Or is it better to try to be self reliant?