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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Slytherin_91 Lost
  • replies: 3

I'm not sure what I'm looking for in this, mainly to vent I think. My partner of almost 4 years has GAD. Since we've been together it has steadily gotten worse and now currently at the stage where I have to ask if they are safe being at home by thems... View more

I'm not sure what I'm looking for in this, mainly to vent I think. My partner of almost 4 years has GAD. Since we've been together it has steadily gotten worse and now currently at the stage where I have to ask if they are safe being at home by themselves. They have been going to counselling for the duration of our relationship and approx 2.5yrs ago started medication which hasn't seemed to help at all (tried a few different ones). About 1-1.5yrs ago they re took up smoking which I cannot stand an they know that. It physically and psychologically repulsed me to the point I don't want to kiss them at all. I love them and want to be with them I just feel so emotionally burnt out at times. In the rare moments we go out and socialise like a happy normal couple when anxiety isn't involved makes me realise how much it affects our relationship as a whole. We discuss our issues but nothing changes. I feel like I have no one to talk to about all this as my partner is my best friend, and we share most of our close friends so I don't think it's appropriate to involve them. Days like today put the weight of their world and mine on my shoulders.

SometimesSadShell How to talk about being depressed and anxious with your partner.
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, I would like some helpful opinions on how to talk to my partner when I'm depressed/anxious. It usually ends up with us in bed at the end of a day and he will be all sweet and lovely to me, though I'm feeling depressed and over everything... View more

Hi everyone, I would like some helpful opinions on how to talk to my partner when I'm depressed/anxious. It usually ends up with us in bed at the end of a day and he will be all sweet and lovely to me, though I'm feeling depressed and over everything after a depressive swing. After he asks what's wrong I'll tell him that I'm just not sure about all of anything, that I'm so over everything as usual and just want to disappear. He will reassure me and comfort me, though how can I prevent myself from getting into this same situation over and over again? Do other people have tricks or habits on that help pull them out of depression before it really gets to them? I just worry about affecting my relationship if he has to keep putting up with me sometimes being depressed. Thankyou,

ss_ss1995 Parental Issues
  • replies: 5

Dear All, I would really like some advice on my situation. I am 22 years old and live at home. My life is absolute hell. My parents give me absolutely no freedom to the point where I panic about even asking them if I am allowed to see a friend for co... View more

Dear All, I would really like some advice on my situation. I am 22 years old and live at home. My life is absolute hell. My parents give me absolutely no freedom to the point where I panic about even asking them if I am allowed to see a friend for coffee. I am not allowed to go out and do things a girl my age should be able to do. I feel depressed and angry all the time. I am not in a financial position to move out and have no friends or relatives I can stay with. I feel like I am going mental and am purposely isolating myself from my friends. I can't live like this any longer. Please help me.

CarolineG77 In laws think so little of me
  • replies: 5

I have been with my husband for almost 20 years, and have not had a great relationship with his Mum, but we get along better than previously. This year was my 40th birthday. I couldn't have cared less if they gave me nothing, but the little they gave... View more

I have been with my husband for almost 20 years, and have not had a great relationship with his Mum, but we get along better than previously. This year was my 40th birthday. I couldn't have cared less if they gave me nothing, but the little they gave me hurt as I realise how little they think of me. Most birthdays the in laws and BIL & SIL give $50 vouchers or cash, which we always reciprocate. This year I got a horrible bright orange necklace from MIL wrapped in an old piece of bubble wrap, I don't wear jewellery! BIL (bought by his wife) gave me a tea cup that was reduced to $11.99 that you would give to an old nanna, and other SIL gave me a candle holder, like whoppee, I thought milestone birthdays were meant to be special. Why do I feel so bad, and how can I stop ruminating over this? I always put thought into our gifts and yet this year I got crap. Sorry it's pretty minuscule to some issues, but my MIL does this every few years, one year was hair removal cream, and 2nd hand clothes from a friends wardrobe. Why do they do this?

Guest_128 How to make new friends. The good and the bad .
  • replies: 4

For me I know now that, I am super sensitive, Way to forward, Totally honest. To tall To hot for both sexes. Haven't got a degree. Oh have a mental health condition. I get all that now. I have lost many a long exciting friends and relatives and have ... View more

For me I know now that, I am super sensitive, Way to forward, Totally honest. To tall To hot for both sexes. Haven't got a degree. Oh have a mental health condition. I get all that now. I have lost many a long exciting friends and relatives and have no idea other than above. I have now given up on any reconciliation and except those relationships are over. What I am missing in my life are friends (I do love you all) even just the basic people. I want the guts good and bad on how to have FRIENDS Dory

Mo1949 Lost families
  • replies: 2

Over the past few years, thinking that I was on my own with this one, I have spoken with many friends, and more recently men who share the same story. I grew up in a post war era where so may of us believed that if we busted our guts, worked hard, we... View more

Over the past few years, thinking that I was on my own with this one, I have spoken with many friends, and more recently men who share the same story. I grew up in a post war era where so may of us believed that if we busted our guts, worked hard, we could provide as much as possible for our kids only to have them reveal that they hate us because we 'weren't there all the time'... probably because we were out working... I worked at least three jobs at one, slept about four hours a night, and was still doing it up until about two years ago. My son hasn't spoken to me for 17 years and my daughter and granddaughter followed suit about 18 months ago. So what psychiatrist/psychologist can ever sort that one out? The sadness and loneliness that comes from total rejection can't be mended by meditation and mindfulness and the children will never forgive the perceived sin of absenteeism, all the while striving to provide.. I mentally send my kids love everyday, try so hard to remember the occasions of joy and love, but as the years go on the loneliness invades and wears the mind and the heart down... I thought it as just single mums, whose ex-husbands always managed to make themselves seem so available and magnanimous by offering support later in life, but none in the younger days, and thus become heroes in the eyes of the 'neglected' children. But recently I have spoken with mature age men who have also been dumped by their kids because their contribution was never appreciated. No-one wins. How sad it all is. How incredibly unnecessary....

Doctor who_aspy Think this is the right place to post: pregnancy and mental health
  • replies: 4

hi, i dont really know how to start this. I want to start a family in the future and i'm unsure how my anxiety will effect the pregnancy. has anyone here started a family whilst having mental health issues? I have had anxiety disorder and panic attac... View more

hi, i dont really know how to start this. I want to start a family in the future and i'm unsure how my anxiety will effect the pregnancy. has anyone here started a family whilst having mental health issues? I have had anxiety disorder and panic attacks for 11 years now but have them mostly under control. some advice?

Bec2017 Bipolar and Infidelity while I was 16 weeks pregnant
  • replies: 5

Hello all, I met my partner 2.5 years ago. I was 32, he was 39. We had both recently come out of marriages. A few dates into the relationship he said he was bipolar but that he was on meds and it was under control. After about a year since meeting, h... View more

Hello all, I met my partner 2.5 years ago. I was 32, he was 39. We had both recently come out of marriages. A few dates into the relationship he said he was bipolar but that he was on meds and it was under control. After about a year since meeting, he advised his Psychiatrist had misdiagnosed him with Bipolar type 2 and that he did not have the condition and stopped his meds. Fast forward 2 blissful years and I am now 18 weeks pregnant. However, about 5 weeks ago he was struggling to balance work and study and unable to sleep (he's FIFO too), he went for a lengthy period without sleeping and erratic behaviour, crazy spending, change in personality, irritability/ anger soon followed, he developed the need to run 10km each day on holiday, he divulged private relationship information to my family and painted me in such a terrible way. He was also inappropriate to a friend of mine. Then a couple of weeks ago we had a terrible argument and I asked him to leave and he stayed at a hotel. A couple of days later I had a strange desire to check his phone...well, a message he had sent indicated there had been people back to the hotel room and I knew immediately, something was wrong....2.5 days later of his intense denying and going to great lengths to collude with the guy he sent the text to, I finally pieced together that he had bumped into an old work mate at a bar and what followed was a sleazy night and 2 girls being brought back to the room (20 year olds) and he had sex with one of them. He is now is a Psych clinic for the past week. I know now, he is bipolar type 1 and has been in the midst of a manic episode for over 5 weeks now. He is still manic, he does not have any empathy or understanding of how hurt i am and the position he has put us in. I am now terrified to have this baby (currently in counselling over this) and he has agreed to intensive couples counselling, personal counselling (CBT) and has just started medication. The illness is one thing, but the cheating and lying is another...the Psychiatrist seems to think there may be some personality disorder traits too. I am scared of the future with him and wonder would i be saving myself a life of pain if i end this relationship and terminate the pregnancy (please no judgement). I am trying to think of the best future for my 5 year old child and myself (not his biological child). I have also since found out that his second marriage ended as he cheated too.

timpye OCD and extreme Guilt over relationship breakup
  • replies: 5

I had a break up 6 months ago in which my ex who i thought was going to be the one broke up with me not because falling out of love but because she is young and wanted time to focus on her studies and discover herself. even recently still claiming sh... View more

I had a break up 6 months ago in which my ex who i thought was going to be the one broke up with me not because falling out of love but because she is young and wanted time to focus on her studies and discover herself. even recently still claiming she would like to reconcile but not sure when. I am a professional gambler and make my from betting. She is against horse racing ethically so much so it makes her sick. I used to make money betting on horses but gave it away when we were together, as I value her so much. Once she broke up with me I started betting on racing again. My initial thinking was she did break up with me, I can do what I want and if we get back together in the future I would of course give it up. Recently I think because she was warming to me a little I started feeling extreme guilt and anxiety for what I had done. To the point where it was too unbearable I messaged her and told her. She has read my messages and not replied. Have I ruined all chances of reconciliation? did i do anything wrong? has my obsessions and compulsions put the final nail in the coffin? The entire situation makes me sick. I just want her to message me and tell me everything is ok, but its not happening and I would just like to put my mind to rest.

Goldaboa Anxiety in relationships :(
  • replies: 2

Hi.. Im 28 and i have a 3 yr old. I broke up with the father because of my mental health.. My anxiety is so bad im constantly thinking the worse. I ruin everything good that happens to me because i really dont believe im good enough. I have a new par... View more

Hi.. Im 28 and i have a 3 yr old. I broke up with the father because of my mental health.. My anxiety is so bad im constantly thinking the worse. I ruin everything good that happens to me because i really dont believe im good enough. I have a new partner now my best friend from highschool he loves and adores me.. But i just cant stop this feeling that he will always be looking at women more beautiful, more fun and will eventually leave me. I know this is such a stupid thing to think but i wake up every morning with such intense anxiety that i can hardly function. My whole body feels like its restricting, my heart feels like it will explode. And i am on medication. Will i always be like this. Am i bound to be alone? Ive been diagnosed with 2 degree PTS. I hate this part of me. I feels so alone.