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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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NomzieG Lost...!
  • replies: 3

G'day all! December just gone, my Grandmother passed away (my Fathers mother). In the last few to several years, my family on both my Father and Mother's sides have hated and have judged me for who I've become and who my Mother is. My Mother was diag... View more

G'day all! December just gone, my Grandmother passed away (my Fathers mother). In the last few to several years, my family on both my Father and Mother's sides have hated and have judged me for who I've become and who my Mother is. My Mother was diagnosed with Bipolar back in 2003 and my Father, he has no mental health problems as far as I know. I never thought that I would be pushed away and treated as nothing when my Grandmother passes away, I was wrong. Here I am sitting here wondering what went wrong. I thought i would be there everyday helping my Grandmother and supporting her while she was unwell, I was told she was not in a good way a week or 2 before she passed and I did get to stay goodbye which I am happy about. I don't know how true it was but apparently my Grandmother "didn't want a funeral and just wanted to be cremated". Going back under 3 years ago, my uncle passed (my grandmothers son) and I wasn't told and missed his funeral. Maybe this is why they all hate me so much.. I really don't know. I feel so rejected and not part of the family, mind you I'm the only grandchild. I'm so upset and hurt. I feel like I have had no support in this time. I always thought i would have that support and love but i was wrong, completely wrong. Now my Grandmother has passed, I'm literally nothing.. my own father doesn't talk to me and don't get me starting with my mother. All I want is to have my Grandmother back and to have somewhere to call a home.

Beebeebee I love her too much
  • replies: 13

I am in a relationship for 5 yrs. We love each other very much, she is my best friend and vice versa. At first when i met her she has low self esteem but i managed to boost her confidence. She is one hell of a happy lady i ever met. Just last year i ... View more

I am in a relationship for 5 yrs. We love each other very much, she is my best friend and vice versa. At first when i met her she has low self esteem but i managed to boost her confidence. She is one hell of a happy lady i ever met. Just last year i got a job and i had to relocate eventho she was hurting she supported me through it and she was so happy for me that i got a job of my dream. At the early stage of my relocation things were going on well. Until last August we had our very first argument and i literally texted her let quit. And for the very first time in our 5 yrs we didnt call or text each other and that lasted for 6 days. When i finally did all she said was why did i take so long to call. I realised that i didnt treat her well so i quickly got a transfer back to her. But things werent the same since that day. She completely shut down, she isolated her self, tge sight of me irritates her, she doesnt eat but gained weight. She told me she lost feelings for me. Nothing excited her any more. She said she is unhappy and something inside her is broken. We do text everyday but she refuse to hang with me or see me. I asked her if she wanted to see a counsellor, she told me shell think about it and let me knoe if she is ready to open up to a stranger. Since yesterday she hadnt reply my text i called her once she didnt pick up. I need your help. I dnt want to loose her. The only person she hangs out with now is my sister but she is out of the country. I want to help her, her unhappiness is killing me. I just want her to be alright. I know if she is alright things would come back to normal.

YarniMarni Unrequited love with complications
  • replies: 4

This problem is engulfing my life right now and causing me enormous amounts of anxiety and intense sadness. I've been looking for somewhere or someone I can talk to so am now trying here. I'm in love with one of my best friends. I'm 99% sure she is n... View more

This problem is engulfing my life right now and causing me enormous amounts of anxiety and intense sadness. I've been looking for somewhere or someone I can talk to so am now trying here. I'm in love with one of my best friends. I'm 99% sure she is not at all interested in being more than friends. This is a very common problem but that doesn't make the pain less real. It is a roller-coaster ride where spending time with her is euporhic, time apart is painful, and hearing about her with other guys is soul crushing. I don't feel like I can talk to her about because a) I don't want to destroy our friendship and b) bottom line I want her to have what she wants above all else, and as far as I can tell what she wants is for things to stay the same. I am not entitled to her affection. Her and I are both part of a small and close-knit group of friends, and I feel if I reveal my feelings and how much pain it causes me to any of them, the awkwardness of further interactions is going to destroy our group which is the last thing I want. So here I am in constant pain with no one to talk to and nothing to do about it.

Lonelyness I feel like nobody in my family likes me.
  • replies: 3

My parents are getting a divorce which my mother asked for a year or so ago and after my dad had moved out I don't think me loves me anymore. I saw my friend the other day and she was with me for longer than I had seen my dad in 2 weeks. My brother i... View more

My parents are getting a divorce which my mother asked for a year or so ago and after my dad had moved out I don't think me loves me anymore. I saw my friend the other day and she was with me for longer than I had seen my dad in 2 weeks. My brother is overly dramatic and has anger issues and my mum doesn't understand me and I don't feel like I can let her in. I've never felt suicidal but I also don't think things will get better. I see a therapist but she doesn't help much either. In basically just lost and lonely.

Pineapple_head Partner left me due to possible anxiety
  • replies: 7

Hi, am hoping for some opinions in hope of finding closure as I'm struggling with my mental health as a result of this. 2 mths ago my partner of 3 years broke up with me. We had a fantastic relationship built on solid foundations of trust & love. We ... View more

Hi, am hoping for some opinions in hope of finding closure as I'm struggling with my mental health as a result of this. 2 mths ago my partner of 3 years broke up with me. We had a fantastic relationship built on solid foundations of trust & love. We laughed a lot & clicked in a way that she nor I have ever experienced. She herself still says all of that now, which is why I'm so confused. About 6 months ago she moved in. This was during a stressful period in her life as she is in the police academy. Living together felt easy but due to her work we were unable to spend quality time together. I'd spend my days contemplating what I could do to help her destress in the evenings. I'd cook for her & try to make her feel special. Then I'd leave her to do her study. On coming to bed she would be distant & not converse. It was a routine of checking facebook meticulously & then sleeping. I figured all was ok as she would hold me all night upon turning the light out. I thought we were okay. Fast forward to a few months later. I went to USA for 5 weeks. She kissed me goodbye at the airport & kept in touch via text. Just before I got home she even suggested that if I were to propose to her, she would say yes. On arriving home however, she wasn't excited to see me. I asked if everything is ok with us & she hesitantly said she doesn't know how she feels about us anymore. She feels detached from everyone so it could just be anxiety causing it, or she's fallen out of love. She wasn't certain she wanted to break up but we ended it. Over the next 2 months we caught up. She said she'd made a big mistake & wanted to fix us. Then she was confused again. Then she'd say she still loves & misses me. She said that in those last months we were together & while I was overseas, she felt so anxious that her head felt like it was going to explode, she felt irritable & tired & just wanted to be alone. She even read up on hypervigilance & said that she related with the withdrawals this causes in a person's home environment. She said it feels right when we catch up, she doesn't want to close the door on our amazing relationship. I was so stupid & should've cut it off as yesterday she said she still doesn't know how she feels & that I shouldn't wait anymore. My issue is that she won't give me any reasoning. She maintains that she doesn't know why, even though I'm perfect for her. I don't know how to get over this without any closure. I am so depressed that all I want is to sleep & cry.

Ella_May Is my ex suffering from a mental health disorder? Broke up with me out of the blue. Completely different person.
  • replies: 5

Hi, this is my first thread. Apologies if I am in the wrong discussion. Six weeks ago my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me, completely out of the blue. Things have been amazing between us, so for him to end it so instantly with no warning signs h... View more

Hi, this is my first thread. Apologies if I am in the wrong discussion. Six weeks ago my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me, completely out of the blue. Things have been amazing between us, so for him to end it so instantly with no warning signs has completely torn my world in two. He told me he loved me everyday, and the day before we broke up was an amazing day filled with so much love (as normal). The following day we had a squabble over something ridiculous regarding the house we share, and boom-just like that he broke up with me. He uncontrollably cried for 6 hours and couldn’t stop. The next day he woke up and he was a shell of himself. I noticed he was late for work and as I entered the room I found him sat up right, just staring at the walls. He pushed me away from that point onwards saying that he doesn’t have a reason for the breakup - it’s just something doesn’t feel right. He then went to see a psychologist that week - but still insisted I stay far away from him and that I needed to “move on”. He is a doctor, under tremendous pressure all of the time and due to being on call - he has interrupted sleep most nights of the week. I know that he had a manic episode in his late teens which lead to him being on meds for some time. I tried to make him acknowledge that perhaps this could be the case again, but he said he is fine and he feels fine. He refuses to ever see a psychiatrist again...I believe this is because he feels it wouldn’t look good for a doctor to be on meds for a mental health issue. Which breaks my heart. I feel like my boyfriend is in there somewhere...but it’s been 6 weeks and he’s still just so cold. He has shown no empathy towards me or the situation, he’s just switched off like he never knew me in the first place. Has anyone experienced anything similar with regards to these behaviours? I honestly feel in my heart that something has happened psychologically. I’ve also noticed that he has invested a lot of money recently. Which is so unlike him. I feel that may have a connection to the first episode when he was younger of getting involved with businesses and financial investments. But maybe I’m just reading into everything too much? I don’t know what to do, apart from give him the space he asks for. Any advice on this would be appreciated. Big thanks

Hope_for_better Mumma having a hard time dealing
  • replies: 5

Hello I feel stupid writing on this page but just need to vent I’m loosing my mind and who I am as a person. Some days I just feel I can’t cope with my childrens constant fighting, bickering and mess that they leave. It hurts me that when I try to ex... View more

Hello I feel stupid writing on this page but just need to vent I’m loosing my mind and who I am as a person. Some days I just feel I can’t cope with my childrens constant fighting, bickering and mess that they leave. It hurts me that when I try to explain to them how sad it makes me it goes in one ear and out the other. My husband has worked away in the mines for the last 10 years so for that time I have done most of this parenting gig on my own. It’s hard being the one who does all the disciplining and then he comes home and is their best friend because they have all missed each other. I don’t blame him or resent him for that he works very hard to provide for our family. I do however resent him for not understanding how I feel and how badly these things are effecting me. He just thinks I’m going on my little rant again. Some days I just want to pack my bags and leave.. my only heart pull is how much I actually love them. Im tired of being the sad angry yelling mother that I have become I want my boys to be able look back when they are older and have memories of a nice mum one that didn’t yell and cry when thing got to hard. I know that I am the only one that can change my thought process and make the change i just don’t know how when I feel this way.

ravenm unsure
  • replies: 5

Ok here goes. I have 2 kids, 4 & 18 months. Youngest to my current partner who I've been with for nearly 3 years. He is a good dad and i know he loves me. Our relationship has been difficult from the start. I had known him a week when he told me he u... View more

Ok here goes. I have 2 kids, 4 & 18 months. Youngest to my current partner who I've been with for nearly 3 years. He is a good dad and i know he loves me. Our relationship has been difficult from the start. I had known him a week when he told me he uses marijuana regularly. I told him i could not be in a serious relationship with someone who does drugs. He told me he would give up weed, cigarettes and alcohol for the chance to be with me. I told him it was NOT a good idea as he could become resentful. He gave it up but very soon became angry towards me. He'd call me names, scream horrible words to me and everything was my fault. I moved in with him and got pregnant - both which i did just to make him happy. On both occasions i tried to come to an agreement to wait a while, but he got emotional and made me feel like a bad person for saying no. My own fault- i was weak. I Seriously considered abortion and leaving for good but couldn't do it, so i made the decision to try make it work. Throughout my pregnancy and the first 6 months of our babies life, my partner would go out a few nights a week, never telling me until long after i was expecting him. Some times he wouldn't be home till the next day. I had a 3 year old and a newborn- i needed a hand and i wanted a bit of routine. I told him he could go out on tues, fri and sat nights and not even have to text me. But he couldn't keep to that for even a few days. He was also using cocaine. I moved out to a friend's rental when bub was 6 months. Thats when he "woke up" and started to become the man i needed him to be. I saw small changes and when he asked me to move back in with him (so his parents-who were soon coming to visit from interstate- didnt have to know / stress about our break up) i did. But i made him promise me 3 things first. No cocaine. He must tell me somewhat in advance if he's not coming home. And we agreed he could smoke weed at home but only a couple times a week and after kids go to sleep. He broke all promises and still continues to smoke weed multiple times a day. He has smoked in front of the kids and driven with the kids right after smoking. He is a good dad, He provides for us. But I've lost trust in him. He has disrespected me too much. Broken promises. When i try to talk to him about it, he groans and walks away. Nothing ever gets resolved. I love him. But now im resentful.. towards him but more towards myself as i shouldn't have let it all happen. I need general advice please.

Lostchild2209 Help needed
  • replies: 2

I don’t know what to do anymore my parents hate me and the only one in my family that still talks to me is my youngest sister. I live with my father and my step mother and I don’t know what Ive done to make everyone mad. Tonight everyone ate dinner w... View more

I don’t know what to do anymore my parents hate me and the only one in my family that still talks to me is my youngest sister. I live with my father and my step mother and I don’t know what Ive done to make everyone mad. Tonight everyone ate dinner without me while I was in my room nobody bothered to come tell me dinner was ready so I didn’t eat and most nights when I finish work late I come home and have to go straight to be because nobody saves me any food from dinner. I’m losing weight and I’m scared because I just want my parents to love me and be proud of me. I’m the oldest and my little sister looks up to me but my step mother always says I’m a bitch and a slut and that i should go back to wher I came from. I really need some advice please

Sorrowfly Depression, loss of sex and pregnant.
  • replies: 1

Hi, first time poster here. I feel like im going to explode, any help would be greatly appreciated. Me and my partner love each other very much but were stuck in a badly timed crappy situaion right now which i fear is going to tear us apart if it doe... View more

Hi, first time poster here. I feel like im going to explode, any help would be greatly appreciated. Me and my partner love each other very much but were stuck in a badly timed crappy situaion right now which i fear is going to tear us apart if it doesnt get resolved. I have BPD and am terrible at regulating and articulating my emotions, im also 9 months pregnant due any moment now. My partner lost his dad a year ago and is very depressed. The main problem is we haven't had sex in months, which i totally understand why he isn't feeling it, him and his dad were very close. My raging hormones won't let me ignore these intense feelings no matter how hard i try to distract myself, i feel so shit about feeling this way, i just want to be there to comfort him and help him through but its been going on for so long now i feel like my body is going to be ruined after the birth so i feel like theres a time limit also. He just distracts with weed, games and scrolling through facebook. All the time. Whenever i try to talk to him about how the lack of affection in our relationship is affecting me it both comes out wrong and upsets him. So i feel i can't talk to him anymore, i just pretend im fine to create a happy atmosphere for our family but im about to break. Its all building up inside brewing some real negative feelings within me. I love him so i don't want these feelings, but as much as i try they won't leave me alone. It keeps me up at night, iv given him so many help options to try but he wont reach out. I need him more than ever, its been a terrible pregnancy with many complications and i don't want to bring our baby into this mess. The constant rejection and body changes has left me with no self-esteem and very frustrated, often thinking about doing very stupid things. Im so worried i will have no self control when the babys born and drink myself stupid, im already having these thoughts and i feel so guilty for even having them. I just want to make him happy. Please be gentle, im very embarrassed about this.