Relationship and family issues

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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TJR Sent back home
  • replies: 2

I moved out of mums for a year, I was living with one of my sisters because i needed a change from schooling as i was getting bullied. anyways, after a year i have been sent back to live with mum... even though my sister knows that mum neglects us al... View more

I moved out of mums for a year, I was living with one of my sisters because i needed a change from schooling as i was getting bullied. anyways, after a year i have been sent back to live with mum... even though my sister knows that mum neglects us all and knows that my depression gets worse when it comes to being around our mother. I have been back for a week now and i feel so lost. My mother never listens to me, she will only talk to me when its all about her or what she wants me to do around the house, or wants me to go shopping with her. Today my mum walked in to my room while i was unpacking boxes of my things and gave me toilet paper otherwise mums boyfriends daughter gets cranky that i use hers... but i never got told we have our own toilet paper, I always have to clean up after mums partners daughter in the bath room. I am finding it very hard to cope, because all i want to do and have been doing is sleeping. one minute I'm happy and energetic and the next i could be depressed and just wanting to sleep. I was very happy back with my sister, i was looking for a job, starting up in a soccer team, gaining new skills and more confidence. ever since moving a few hours away back into mums, i literally have no confidence, my anxiety and depression seems to be getting to me a lot every night. I keep crying and i don't even know why myself. i honestly don't know what I am trying to say... i guess i am just confused and wanting someone to listen. Sorry if this doesn't make sense

GemAndLogan Advice on my insecurities
  • replies: 5

Hi everyone, I need some advice. I feel silly writing because it seems trivial and stupid but I need to address it anyway. I've been in my relationship for 6 months- everything is perfect and I am so happy My previous relationship was traumatic,physi... View more

Hi everyone, I need some advice. I feel silly writing because it seems trivial and stupid but I need to address it anyway. I've been in my relationship for 6 months- everything is perfect and I am so happy My previous relationship was traumatic,physically and mentally abusive and full of lies and betrayal. He cheated more times than i even know about. It ended almost a year ago I have insecurities from my previous relationship, I trust my partner and he has never done anything to make me question him but sometimes I'm suspicious about his phone, it's so stupid but sometimes i obsess about who he might be talking to. I've been tempted to check his phone but I never do because I know that's not ok. It's not healthy and I know it's completely my insecurities from my previous relationship that cause it but I don't know how to deal with it. My partner is supportive and has never done anything to make me not trust him. I want to know how to move on and let go of these demons because I really don't want them to get in the way of my relationship. I don't want to be that person Any advice would be great Gem

Michelle1978 Friend acting all strange
  • replies: 4

I became friends with a lady that I met when I went back to uni about 6 years ago. She is a little older then me and is married. They make a great couple and I always trusted them completely. At the start of last year I met up with her and her hubby ... View more

I became friends with a lady that I met when I went back to uni about 6 years ago. She is a little older then me and is married. They make a great couple and I always trusted them completely. At the start of last year I met up with her and her hubby for dinner and She told me that she wanted to spent more time together. I told her that was cool. They always have such busy social lives and I have always told her that I always happy to fit her in because my life isnt as busy. I tried to catch up with her a couple of times but she was unavailable. I caught up with her mid year and had a nice dinner together. I asked her when was I going to see her next and she told me probably Christmas time as they were going overseas etc. she was smsing me in October saying that she wanted to catch up and we should lock some dates in. I told her I was free anytime. She never wrote back. Then in November I wrote to her asking if she still wanted to catch up. She said she was busy until Feb as they had friends over from overseas etc. i just smsed her back and said “Not to worry” Around Christmas time I sent her a couple of sms which i got no response to (she was always really quick to respond) i rang her and the phone rang a couple of times and then went to voicemail. I googled this and wondered if she had blocked me on her phone? She told me once that if she doesnt want contact with anybody again thats what she does. I blocked my number and rang her and the phone rang more then 3 times and I left her a voicemail and then she smsed me back and said that she was away and catch up in the new year. I tried to call her last week and it rang a couple of times and went to voicemail and i left a message. I also smsed her and got no response. I found her email address and emailed her and invited her and her hubby for a meal at my place when they were free and she responded saying that she had phone issues before Christmas and lost a lot of phone numbers. I dont know if i believe this or not. She then went on to say that she has been working interstate and isnt around much anymore and spends the weekends with her husband. Again im just not sure if this is the truth or not? i wrote back and she responded but the language is quite closed and i just think its all a bit wierd? I want to email her and tell her how much her friendship meant but im not sure how to word it or if it will change the situation? I keep blaming myself. i dont know what to make of the situation?

malcominthemiddle My wife is moving out and wants everything - including me but not me yet..
  • replies: 8

Hi all Pretty baffled at the minute any guidance would be greatly appreciated. 4 years ago my wife and I got married we had been together for 2 years prior. When We got married I had a tough time with many personal emotions catching up with me and I ... View more

Hi all Pretty baffled at the minute any guidance would be greatly appreciated. 4 years ago my wife and I got married we had been together for 2 years prior. When We got married I had a tough time with many personal emotions catching up with me and I essentially broke down and scraped the bottom of the barrel for about a year or 2. During this time I certainly was difficult to be around and my wife carried the family both emotionally and financially until I crawled out of my hole. The past 2 years I have worked incredibly hard on myself and gathered my life together again and am emotionally strong and a much better human than I was. We have been to counselling and I owned all my mistakes and have really come out the other side. There was no infidelity or anything like this just a tough emotional time for myself. My wife and our children even had many fun family holidays recently and I we were even quite intimate with each other and she told me I was the best husband and father to our children (now) ....until about a month ago and BANG it all changed. That's it she is leaving. She moved into the spare room and said she needed space and told me she was finally starting to process all the bad stuff from 4 years ago and she didn't want to be mean or vindictive towards me and thought that a fresh start would help us strip back our marriage and rebuild it on the right fundamentals. Hopefully falling in love again and getting back together..... Now whilst I can see this as sweet and long term a great goal and I am approaching this with a VERY open mind. What gets me is she wants her share of the house in cash - meaning I pull out the cash and give it to her so she can buy her own place and take the kids with her and she wants me to help her run the kids around whenever she can't make it. The whole idea is that when she moves out she hopes she will miss me and learn how to depend on me again whilst we start dating again. . . Now I know the intentions are there to fix our marriage and the goal is happiness together when we are old, not bitterness or resentment and I am bending over backwards to help accommodate her wants and needs but I really feel like I am getting the short end of the stick here. . Do I want my wife back? Yes. extending my mortgage so she can buy a house and take the kids and then have me at beck and call? hmmm do I just let her go and hope she comes back? or do I just cut it now and divorce. . ?

Shali Is my Husbund asking me too much? Relationship is ending
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It’s been six years of our mrg &v got 5mnt old Bub.My Husbund is very aggressive, bossy and manipulative. We have fights in the past and it’s get bigger becoz of his anger.After each fight he promised me that he will change but his anger is still sam... View more

It’s been six years of our mrg &v got 5mnt old Bub.My Husbund is very aggressive, bossy and manipulative. We have fights in the past and it’s get bigger becoz of his anger.After each fight he promised me that he will change but his anger is still same. Now I told him I got baby and I m not going to tolerate your anger or shout anymore as I don’t want her to grow in that environment.I m very calm in nature and try to let it go but now I hv enough.main problem Is his parents.Thy want to control our lives, thy always saying where to spend money,keep interfering in our life til now.thy also said to my Husbund not to buy anything for my family.if I go to India once a year and if I buy some presences for my family they don’t like. I have just given them presence like purse or shoes etc but they blame me that I have given money to buy gold and all the furniture in my parents house. they told that to my uncle. I m so update with this. My Husbund and I told them so many times that we didn’t gave money but still they not believing us. Now I don’t want to talk to them unless they realise they did wrong. My Husbund is asking me to call his mother after this incident and after all this drama I even called twice but she never called me or my Husbund or not to see my baby. I told my Husbund I m not gonna call them anymore if they don’t call me first. My Husbund is asking me to forget everything and keep talking and caring to his family. He told me that if you love me and if you want to live together you have to call them.My Husbund is still aggressive,when I needed him during my pregnancy, labour and post he wasn’t there. He was keep fighting with me for small thing. At the moment his brother came to live with us for study, his dad came to see our baby from India for 3 months. I told my Husbund asked them not to come this time as I will not manage with little one. Now today I have big fight with my Husbund, he is blaming me that I m not taking care of his father. I do cooking three times a day plus have to look after very fussy 5 months old. I don’t get enough sleep at night. My Husbund don’t understand me and he says u doing nothing whole day. After pregnancy I don’t have desire to sex, being tired and may be because my Husbund not understand me I don’t know.He thinks I have changed and I don’t love him.I don’t know what to do I cry everyday without reason. This it too much for me.M I nt doing right thing? Is he right?Please guide me.

Clair01 Sad parents won't accept my separation.
  • replies: 2

My husband moved out a couple of weeks ago. I am quite sad my parents don't seem to be able to accept it. They seem to think we can just stay married and live in separate houses. Phone call ended with parents shouting at me saying that I wasn't separ... View more

My husband moved out a couple of weeks ago. I am quite sad my parents don't seem to be able to accept it. They seem to think we can just stay married and live in separate houses. Phone call ended with parents shouting at me saying that I wasn't separated. Currently I feel more upset by my parents reaction than my husband moving out.

Mister_E Can't live with my brother anymore
  • replies: 2

I can't, I really really can't. my brother is a horrible person. I wont go into too many details about him. but I need a solution for what to do about him. but there doesn't seem to be one. I wish i could move out. but I can't, I have no money, no jo... View more

I can't, I really really can't. my brother is a horrible person. I wont go into too many details about him. but I need a solution for what to do about him. but there doesn't seem to be one. I wish i could move out. but I can't, I have no money, no job, a medical condition that prevents me from holding down a job, and no friends i can temporarily live with while i try and sort those things out. all my friends have moved to other countries in the past few years. and I have no family members I'd want to live with. since my only choice would be living with my dad, who is just as bad as my brother. plus if i moved out, my mum would be stuck here having to deal with my brother alone. i can't do that to her. I know him moving out would never work. he'd lose his house or have his landlord evict him or something within a week. and then he'd be back here again and even worse than before. I don't know what to do. I just wish he didn't exist. I shouldn't have to put up with someone like him, and neither should my mum. i can't deal with this anymore.

SarahJC Daughter Social Media addiction
  • replies: 3

Hi there, This is my first post; I really need advice. My eldest daughter has an Instagram account and uploads pictures of herself displaying her fashion outfits, I also have an 8-year-old daughter that occasionally watches her sister take photos (wh... View more

Hi there, This is my first post; I really need advice. My eldest daughter has an Instagram account and uploads pictures of herself displaying her fashion outfits, I also have an 8-year-old daughter that occasionally watches her sister take photos (which I dislike immensely), I have noticed miss 8 starting to pose a lot more for photos (as her sister) and take selfies - she was never like this, or is it the age???. She has never seen her Instagram account, but I know one day she will see it. I'm just concerned if this is creating future issues for miss 8 regarding social media (addiction)??? I have spoken to my eldest daughter about it but dismissed what I had said. Miss 8 started to explore her interests, but since watching her sister, she is starting to mimic her. Please help

Bella2200 Pregnant and now alone
  • replies: 6

Hi all i am due to give birth any day and my long term partner has informed me that they are unsure of what they want anymore and right now im not the person they see themselves with anymore. i am shocked and broken hearted for my baby and i

Hi all i am due to give birth any day and my long term partner has informed me that they are unsure of what they want anymore and right now im not the person they see themselves with anymore. i am shocked and broken hearted for my baby and i

Robbed My employer fired me after I lodged a workcover claim.
  • replies: 4

I worked for a huge Federal Government employer in a mundane role. I was bullied for years by the managers until I had a complete mental breakdown. I lodged a claim for workcover and the employer lodged it with the insurance company. Two days later e... View more

I worked for a huge Federal Government employer in a mundane role. I was bullied for years by the managers until I had a complete mental breakdown. I lodged a claim for workcover and the employer lodged it with the insurance company. Two days later employer suspended my job. The insurance company denied my claim under the clause 'reasonable management actions' and then despite my written response my job was gone they didn't pay me anything. I went through the Fair work process involving a conciliation hearing, and offered nothing. Conciliators cannot make binding outcomes. I attended a employment lawyer at $500 per 50 minutes who did not care and said that I should have lodged a protected attributes dispute. The law does not allow me to change the claim though both are unfair to me. They could pursue the matter for $25,000 to potentially claim a Maximum $50,000 Also lodged a conciliation for workcover, attended and received a certificate to engage a lawyer to get me what I am owed. No guarantees. I will have to survive somehow for a year without income waiting for the outcome and still unable to work. Also stuck paying workcover bills for GP, Phycologist, psychiatrist and medication. The Management have denied any wrong doing and my life has gone from shit to completely shit. Can anybody recall precedents on this or related forums. Pondering my life's outcome, Rob.