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My partner can’t accept my mental health issues...

Sparrow90
Community Member

I’ve been with my partner for 8+ years, we share 2 children together and another from my previous relationship.

Ever since I’ve had my children I’ve slowly noticed my anxiety & depression getting worse, the more children I had the worse it got... I’m now a mum of 3 and struggle to leave the house let alone get up and do my motherly chores, I’m constantly feeling tired and worn out even though I have a full nights sleep, I’m constantly feeling unwell over it to, and my partner doesn’t understand at all about it. He just thinks I’m faking it or being lazy and no matter how many times I’ve explained that I physically can’t help it he gets the cranks and says I’m lazy and there’s nothing wrong with me...

How else am l meant to get it across to him, counselling? We are currently not in the financial state to pay to see someone. i don’t want to end my relationship over it, but I need him to understand and support me instead of put me down and further into a hole. i need him to be patient and I know it’s hard for him to but it’s also hard for me to watch him watch me like this too. I’m my own disappointment and I don’t need him to be disappointed in me too.

I’ve tried multiple medications and I’ve had side affects with most but nothings worked, so I gave up on it and accepted that this is who I am even though this is not who I want to be. How can l help myself when I don’t have the support from my own partner!

1 Reply 1

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Sparrow90~

Welcome here to the Forum, it's a place were an awful lot of people will understand exactly what you are going though and there is no question of being lazy or faking it, you simply are unwell.

Even under the best of circumstances being a mother of 3 is a big task, and as things stand it is no surprise you can't do it all.

One of the big traps I've found is when I'm ill I've still judged myself by the standards one would apply to a well person. There getting up in the morning is trivial, hardly worth giving a thought to, when ill it can become a major obstacle, and to get up is a big victory. I imagine your disappointments and feelings of failing are based on pretty unrealistic expectations.

I'm sorry both that your husband seems to be a person incapable of understanding facts, and also that you say you have given up. I've has anxiety, PTSD and bouts of depression for a very long time, but now lead a productive happy life. This did not happen quickly, I had many years of trying different medications and therapy before hitting on a regime that was effective without unacceptable side-effects. I was a mess but improved, and I'd imagine many others would be like me.

Do you have anyone in your life to help? Maybe a parent or friend? It makes a big difference, not only the practical stuff, but just having some to talk to who is not going to blame and judge. I was extremely luck and had a supportive partner.

You've said you can't explain things so your husband takes notice, can you think of anyone he might listen to?

Croix