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Dazed and confused

Community Member

First time ever writing online.

I thank you in advance for taking the time to read.

As of now 3 months ago I have given up smoking marijuana after more than 20 years. I have never felt better in my life. Unfortunately at the same time my partner of 13 years decided to seperate from me. Didn't want to talk or get any kind of help to see if we can save what we had. Assumed the issues between us, which was basically a lack of communication could not be fixed and simply wanted to move on. We also have a 2 year old girl. 50/50 parent agreement has been established.

After finally moving out 6 weeks ago to a girlfriends house and only lasting for a short time she has now moved in to her new partners house. Both of these people she works with and have gone through separation as well

I feel threathed by this move knowing that a new man is in my daughter's life half the time. I know the relationship is over but how do you cope when one parent is so determined to be happy that they seem to be forgetting about the child being moved around from one house to another. There is no stability as far as I can see. The so called new relationship that my ex has was apparently only friendship weeks ago. It can't be serious. There is no stability in that relationship surely. Unless the relationship she now has, has been going on for longer than see is admitting to. I feel lost, helpless. I am improving myself every single day but hearing my little girl say mummy, daddy and her partners name that cuts deep. Is my daughter confused. Children will always copy words and names. How do you deal with such change in small amounts of time. How do I continue to function when my world has changed so dramatically. Saying that I have never been more determined in my life to succeed, grow, become the person I want to be.

There are things that need to be sorted and there is no help coming from the person who left. I am struggling financially which begs the question of child support. How will that effect the situation. We both want to be amicable for our daughters sake.

I'm just not sure what to do.

2 Replies 2

Community Member

Hey CJ sorry to hear mate but unfortunately she has decided to move on with someone else, and although it is upsetting that there is someone else in your daughters life it doesnt change who and what you are to her.

I have two girls shared custody (mine) and a stepson and I can tell you that no matter what you'll always be dad to her.

In terms of financial stress, dont delay calling child support to keep it amicable.

Theres no point in you stressing about money and being unhappy to appease your ex.

Call CS, state your custody agreement and let them sort out who pays who...how much.

It removes all doubt and grey areas. It also allows you to claim centrelink rebates, ftb and rental assistance

For 2 years I paid my ex unknowingly to keep it amicable when she wasnt entitled to it, big mistake on my behalf and things have been better since.

Chin up mate, stay off the marijuana you're doing good

Community Member

Thanks borderline.

Really appreciate your response. I have things in play now for child support. I didn't make this decision after all. Why should I still be the nice guy. I mean I am and would do anything for anyone. The hardest thing is the time frame all this has happened in. Together for so long and she has moved on in less than 6 months. She did not even try to reconcile. What happened to trying to keep your family together. Hearing my daughter say the other persons name over and over again. That's hard. Really hard to hear.

I hope your right. I hope she never forgets I'm her dad. She may be the only child I will ever have.

God they make you feel good kids don't they.

Never touching the smoke again.

Never felt better and yet now I'm finally free it feels like I have lost so much. God I feel alone.

I hope things change.