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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Anna_Mac Advice needed for relationship
  • replies: 7

My boyfriend of 8 years broke up with me three weeks ago due to his depression. He said at the time we would never see or talk to each other again, however last week he said he is now going to get online counselling and he won't rule out us getting b... View more

My boyfriend of 8 years broke up with me three weeks ago due to his depression. He said at the time we would never see or talk to each other again, however last week he said he is now going to get online counselling and he won't rule out us getting back together if the counselling goes well. I've decided to leave him be to do his counselling so he can focus on getting well and not feel pressure about us. He said numerous times he doesn't even understand why he ended it but he felt he had too. Has anyone been in a situation like this and is there any advice out there for going forward? Thanks

Guest_1898 Not sure what to do
  • replies: 2

Hey everyone my wife an i have been having a lot of issues, basically i have no idea what im doing wrong, i work a week away at a time to meet our financial needs but every step i take is the wrong one when im home im on eggshells. I work long long h... View more

Hey everyone my wife an i have been having a lot of issues, basically i have no idea what im doing wrong, i work a week away at a time to meet our financial needs but every step i take is the wrong one when im home im on eggshells. I work long long hours an when i get home our child is my resposiblity while im home, i cannot go to see friends as she dislikes them all, i am told im hopeless at doing anything because i cannot clean the house and do things as quickly as she does them also she has told me why should she have to do anything while im home if she can do it while im at work i can do it all while im home if i cannot make decisions as to what to eat or planning what to do for the day she calls me a idiot and argues. It could be a quick make up your mind you idiot or a im not talking to you today. I have noticed she will not get off her phone some nights just disappearing to bed an leaving me alone .if i try an talk while shes on it the phone takes priority. We are trying to find a car to replace our old one but because she cant have what she wants everything else is irrelevant an its my fault i cant buy it for her. I have explained we cannot afford it and we need to buy a cheaper car but its not good enough. It seems everything i do is just not good enough but she gives praise to her friends husband for what he does. I just can't keep up with the jones. Im burnt out an lost, im not sure what to do.

SensibleSummer Support Group Post Breakup
  • replies: 7

Hi, I have just recently separated from my partner. We had been together for quite a number of year. Right now I'm feeling sad, helpless, unloved and unwanted. Would love to know if there's any support group (similar to AA) where I can meet and share... View more

Hi, I have just recently separated from my partner. We had been together for quite a number of year. Right now I'm feeling sad, helpless, unloved and unwanted. Would love to know if there's any support group (similar to AA) where I can meet and share experiences with other people who are in the same situation with me. Thank you.

losingbattle Alcohol and Drug Addiction
  • replies: 3

Male 59 years old. Own business. Entertainment Industry Work is 24/7 Divorced two years ago. No kids. Now drowning in debt.New partner lives with me. Same vintage IT world 3 grown kids 29 30 33 all stable. Becoming her alcohol fuelled ex. I have been... View more

Male 59 years old. Own business. Entertainment Industry Work is 24/7 Divorced two years ago. No kids. Now drowning in debt.New partner lives with me. Same vintage IT world 3 grown kids 29 30 33 all stable. Becoming her alcohol fuelled ex. I have been intimidating angry frightening and worse. Alienating her more every day. Sick of me bitching about work, staff constantly.We don't have conversations anymore. I drink light beer all the time and abuse drugs. She does drugs too but only when I do. Way too much. We never go out together. She goes where and when she likes. Her kids, gym, dinners with girlfriends. I'm always asking what is happening when will she be home long text messages. Borderline out the door. Every day argue about something. Pushing her away and using business cash to finance habits. Cant afford rehab as no phones laptops etc allowed. No self discipline except business Have great shrink but out that door start again. She will start looking for her own place and internet dating again. I will lose it. I am a Disaster waiting to happen Tried AA years ago Flying solo. No support No advice No discipline Only a matter of time business cash flow dies. ATO and finance liquidate me into the gutter Combination of drugs and alcohol to sleep. Or stay awake all night doing admin etc could be done during day if not at pub Doing this tonight instead. She came back from 2 days away for work. Not a civil word spoken Went to bed. Will get to gym in the morning and it will still be going Shrink appointment tomorrow Maybe will help venting. Vicious circle

Caileigh My family is falling apart and so am I
  • replies: 2

In the past four or five months, I've noticed that my parents' relationship has been strained more than usual and I thought nothing of it. It turns out my mum broke up with my dad on his birthday. They've broken up before - when I was eight - but thi... View more

In the past four or five months, I've noticed that my parents' relationship has been strained more than usual and I thought nothing of it. It turns out my mum broke up with my dad on his birthday. They've broken up before - when I was eight - but this time it's a lot worse because I'm older and am noticing things I didn't before. It's also worse because my mum has been cheating on my dad, manipulating him for money and drugs and spending all of our money. Plus my mum decided that she needed his money and conceded to 'having a break' in their relationship while still getting all the benefits of a marriage (even though they're not married). In a short conclusion: I'm now becoming more depressed and anxious than I have ever been before My mum is addicted to multiple drugs (none illegal, I think) My dad is depressed and alone My siblings have no clue what's happening Consequently, I have no one to talk to about this stuff, meaning I feel alone and useless and I've developed emotional detachment from most things So, yeah. I need help and I don't know how to get it. - Caileigh

AmyFrank Feeling Lost
  • replies: 2

Recently my husband told me he wants us to split up. We fight a lot, but most of the time somehow I am to blame. For example, if I bring up the fact that he hasn't paid me any attention for a while and it would be nice if he just asked how my day was... View more

Recently my husband told me he wants us to split up. We fight a lot, but most of the time somehow I am to blame. For example, if I bring up the fact that he hasn't paid me any attention for a while and it would be nice if he just asked how my day was, this will produce a defensive reaction out of him (not my intention) and it ends up in a fight because I end up having to defend why I brought up something that is troubling me. We have been together for almost 10 years, and the amount of times I have been there for him and stayed positive with his ups and downs, has shown nothing in terms of the way he treats me. I feel lonely around him, because I want him to care for me and show me some form affection, a smile, a hug, something... Despite all that, I keep fighting to make us better, I keep trying to help us, but I can't seem to get it through to him that it requires hard work from both sides. When he told me he wants us to split up, it broke my heart. I let him be, I didn't react negatively. Somehow the situation has gotten worse, and to cut a long story short, he has recently told me that he hates me and for me to continue to stay out of his way. This came out of me simply trying to talk to him. I'm finding it very difficult to cope at the moment. I guess part the reason is that other parts of life aren't going to plan either, but the biggest piece stressing me out and getting me down at the moment is this. I suppose any bit of advice from anyone would be appreciated...

Assaad Need help winning a woman’s heart
  • replies: 1

Hey guys I’m 25 and as I was young I never had much confidence and when I was 19 that all changed I made sure I was always walking with my head held high and i would always chase what I wanted and I always got it now I got introduced to this girl abo... View more

Hey guys I’m 25 and as I was young I never had much confidence and when I was 19 that all changed I made sure I was always walking with my head held high and i would always chase what I wanted and I always got it now I got introduced to this girl about 3 weeks ago and we always hang out as we have mutual friends and I love her personality she’s actually my dream girl so I’ve done all the right things always heaving her hand and walking with her but she’ll pull away sometimes I make her laugh like you wouldn’t believe I always but her stuff like heaps of food if we go out everything’s on me I get her cute gifts I take her everywhere but she always comes with her bestie which happens to be our mutual friend and we have gone out once together but was just like 30 minutes and she didn’t talk to me much I have tried every thing to get her to show some affection towards me but noting but she does drop hints like she’ll try and tease me she’ll give me the cheeky winks but nothing seems to work I played the nice guy and nothing I played the serious guy nothing worked I went in the middle and that failed I know how to make girls fall in love with me I always get the girl I want and with her nothing girls normally chase me but I feel like I lose my cool around her as she’s everything I want in a woman from personality to body type to even her hair I don’t know what to do I’m lost every time I hug her she’s like stop like wth lol how am I going to make this girl fall I love with me so we can move forward

Only_me Need help and advice please
  • replies: 1

I have recently separated from my husband and kids due to financial issues with my husband. He had his own business and had a gambling problem and the kids aged 18 and 20 did nothing around the house, my husband worked away so I was already lonely an... View more

I have recently separated from my husband and kids due to financial issues with my husband. He had his own business and had a gambling problem and the kids aged 18 and 20 did nothing around the house, my husband worked away so I was already lonely and it all blew up again and he told me to get out and I said I should have left..... so I did. I now have my own house but it is so quiet and lonely. I miss my family so so much and none of them contact me, I was the problem arguing to fix the problems. I love my husband and we were together for 21 years and I'm really hating myself at the moment and don't even respect myself. How do I try to find a little peace with myself, I have been told by close family that I did the right thing ( they know everything about us) but I feel I have lost everything and I so want my family back but it takes time and even then they might never care. Struggling to move on, just want to go to sleep for 6 months until the pain goes away. So sad and heartbroken, feeling lost.

Soraismycactus Nothing is going right
  • replies: 1

hi I’m really new to this site. But I’ve heard of the support people get. As you probably have read the title, I feel like nothing is going right. my best friend and I who promised to tell each other everything we are in a rocky place because of a gu... View more

hi I’m really new to this site. But I’ve heard of the support people get. As you probably have read the title, I feel like nothing is going right. my best friend and I who promised to tell each other everything we are in a rocky place because of a guy. My parents are using me to tell all their problems too and always expect me to choose what to do for them, they are currently asking me if they should get divorced or stay together. my brother lost his virginity to a girl, and can’t see that she is toxic for him and he is toxic for her. Because he is scared to lose the sex. the rest of my family members know and I don’t know how to react to that. but all I want to do is run away, I just want travel somewhere else and just never come back. And I think I would if it I hadn’t bought a dog and I would never leave him. Ontop of all of this I don’t frel like myself, everything in my life is just becoming something that I wish I never have to get up too. I don’t want to dress up anymore or go out or do any of the things that makes me happy. What should I do? Is it selfish for me to want to go away?

littlewalrus I can't deal with my housemates.
  • replies: 1

None of the housemates I've had over the years have been perfect but these two were once my only friends. They didn't judge me for ending up on the dole after graduating from uni like my parents did. They used to want to spend time with me. But it's ... View more

None of the housemates I've had over the years have been perfect but these two were once my only friends. They didn't judge me for ending up on the dole after graduating from uni like my parents did. They used to want to spend time with me. But it's been three years without a job now, I've lost the transport I had and I'm only just avoiding debt. I'm not even getting phone calls back when I send my resume out. So I was sitting at my desk crying. I couldn't stop shaking. One of my housemates walked into the room to get something. And walked straight back out. My boyfriend pays for me to go to a sport. I had to call home for a lift because I nearly feinted and couldn't stop shaking. The other housemate answered and as soon as he heard crying he put the phone down and went for my boyfriend. He didn't even ask if I was okay. Not on the phone. Not when I walked through the door. Am I crazy, or are these abnormal reactions to a friend of 5 years diagnosed with anxiety and depression shaking on the floor? It's like they aren't my friend. And today they asked if I would put some money towards a house project. Where do they think I was going to get it from? Is everything going in one ear and out the other? I am so alone.