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He told me I was the ugliest woman he knows ~ I'm heart broken

Community Member

My Partner of 8 & a half years & I have an argument during this he told me I was the ugliest woman he knows ~ I'm so heart broken & cant let this go ~ each time I go out I look at all the woman around & think he would think they are prettier then me ~ this is killing me & I don't know what to do ~ it is causing so many problems for me ~ I don't want to see anybody ~ I have an extremely low self esteem as it is, this has made it 100 time worst ๐Ÿ˜ž ~ his family seem to think being good looking is something really important in life ~ I now don't want to be around his family anymore, they are all full of cosmetic surgery & look so perfect ๐Ÿ˜ž ~ I just don't know what to do to get past this ๐Ÿ˜ž

Thank-you for your time ๐Ÿ™‚

3 Replies 3

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Molly Rose, can I give you a warm welcome.

Now please don't ever think that you are what you have told us, no one is this way, because there is always someone for somebody, everyone included.

Personality, trust and respect are much more important than beauty, so his family including your partner seem to be living somewhere else, they have insulted you, that shouldn't happen, I'm very sorry for you.

Can I suggest having time away, a separation and try and gather your thoughts, are you able to stay with your own family or perhaps a friend who you can communicate with.

As soon as you get no respect from someone, it's not worth enduring any more assaults on your self-esteem because there will be someone out there who will love and appreciate you.

Would you be able to book an appointment with your doctor, they can advise contacts for you to have a chat with, again this is important for you.

Please let us know how you get on.


Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Oh Molly Rose,

Iโ€™m so sorry youโ€™ve been made to feel this way. Rationally, it seems extremely unlikely that your partner would be with you if he honestly thought those things, I suspect it was more an immature way of landing a low blow and having the desired effect of making you doubt yourself, cruel as it may be. That being said, it always amazes me that society puts such a high importance on something so inconsequential, I mean itโ€™s not like a talent, people are born the way they are through no skill of their own. Your partners family may be focused on appearances, but he acted pretty ugly in my eyes. You seem like a gentle, kind soul, and Iโ€™d pick that a million times over a shallow and mean but attractive person. Like Geoff, I think you need a little bit of space to โ€˜lick your woundsโ€™ and recalibrate your internal compass. Feel free to talk here whenever you need ๐Ÿ™‚

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Molly Rose,

what you partner said says so much more about him than you. He has an ugly soul. You are not ugly. He has lashed out in anger and said something that he knows will play on your insecurities.he has been with you for over 8years so he does not find you ugly. Some families do place a high importance on physical looks. This is really bullshit. It is what is inside a person and how they show that ,which is important.. i know you must be devastated and you are in the right place to get support. Has he said things like this before? Or was this really out of the blue? I would be reflecting on whether this a relationship that is supportive to your needs . If he continues to put you down and make you feel bad about yourself you need to re evaluate the relationship. You deserve better