Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Start a discussion

depressedandunderdressed growing pains
  • replies: 1

as i recently turned 20 ive come to face the very harsh reality that is life and growing up. i've been depressed and getting treatment since i was 15 and its only in my recent years released that 90% of me being the way i am is due to my alcoholic mo... View more

as i recently turned 20 ive come to face the very harsh reality that is life and growing up. i've been depressed and getting treatment since i was 15 and its only in my recent years released that 90% of me being the way i am is due to my alcoholic mother. ive been carrying her to bed since i was in kindergarden waiting for my dad to get home from late shift to tuck me into bed. my mother knows what shes doing and as an adult i now have the words and understanding to express how it makes me feel and try to get her the help she needs. over the years i have yelled, screamed, cried, begged and pleated, ignored and been a damn right bitch to my mother in hopes she will understand that im only that way once she has been drinking. it hasnt worked and im starting to give up. ive hidden her alcohol, and she just finds more ways to get it. ive told other members in my family and we are all in the same boat. we all feel the same way and its tearing us apart. i use to be close with my mother despite all the drinking and now we have drifted so far apart i cant even look at her somtimes. its not only affecting our own family but extended too. my boyfriends family have had enough and her drinking has nearly ended my relationship. my partner and i have been trying to plan for our future and apart of that is having kids.. the problem being that we have both agreed my mother willnot be a fit grandmother to my children and i wouldnt want them to grow up doing and seeing the things i suffered. it breaks my heart to think and know that one day that will be the reality. that after 4pm my own mother wont be able to see her grandchildren because she will have already started to drink. im at breaking point and i know nothing about how to be an adult because shes been the woman ive grown up to learn from and i dont want to be that samew person.

Helenmc I'm at a loss of what to do next
  • replies: 15

Hi everyone I'm writing in hope to get some unbiased views. my husband and I had an argument 9 weeks ago today it wasn't that heated but he says "fine I'll leave" proceeded to get in his car and drive off. I was holding his car door open begging for ... View more

Hi everyone I'm writing in hope to get some unbiased views. my husband and I had an argument 9 weeks ago today it wasn't that heated but he says "fine I'll leave" proceeded to get in his car and drive off. I was holding his car door open begging for him to come inside but he just lost it and yelled at me never have I seen him like that before . 9 weeks on no contact except week 2 a short text message to tell me it was alol my fault. Nothjng since then . he left with thr clothes on his back hasn't been back for any of his things since. He still contributes to thr joint account every week still reads my messenger messages when I send them but won't talk to me. I communicte with him second daily but realise this has prob done my harm then good? i love him we were happy together I don't want to loose our marriage but 9 weeks is a very long time thoughts please

Molly_Rose He told me I was the ugliest woman he knows ~ I'm heart broken
  • replies: 3

My Partner of 8 & a half years & I have an argument during this he told me I was the ugliest woman he knows ~ I'm so heart broken & cant let this go ~ each time I go out I look at all the woman around & think he would think they are prettier then me ... View more

My Partner of 8 & a half years & I have an argument during this he told me I was the ugliest woman he knows ~ I'm so heart broken & cant let this go ~ each time I go out I look at all the woman around & think he would think they are prettier then me ~ this is killing me & I don't know what to do ~ it is causing so many problems for me ~ I don't want to see anybody ~ I have an extremely low self esteem as it is, this has made it 100 time worst ~ his family seem to think being good looking is something really important in life ~ I now don't want to be around his family anymore, they are all full of cosmetic surgery & look so perfect ~ I just don't know what to do to get past this Thank-you for your time

Caity_P My 'sister-in-law' is causing me so much anxiety! Help!
  • replies: 11

Hi everyone, really hope someone can offer me advice on this subject. I have been dating my boyfriend for one and a half years and I have always been super close with his younger brother, who is seventeen. Six months ago, his brother entered into a r... View more

Hi everyone, really hope someone can offer me advice on this subject. I have been dating my boyfriend for one and a half years and I have always been super close with his younger brother, who is seventeen. Six months ago, his brother entered into a relationship with a girl from his school. At first we thought she was sweet, but I realised more and more that she was actually a very manipulative and jealous person due to her own insecurities. My boyfriend and I were very worried about his brother's wellbeing because of the things she was saying/doing to him, so we approached his mum to talk about it. Unfortunately, his mum only defended the girl and did not seem too worried at all. Over time, it seems like this girl has turned her jealousy issues towards me. Whenever we are together, she is 'offended' by something I say. Except, nothing I say is ever offensive, she actually twists my words and sometimes makes things up. For example, I was discussing with my boyfriend's mum how my own brother will probably not go to uni after high-school. This was ALL that was said. Next thing I know, I hear I have 'offended' her (even though she was eavesdropping and not actually in the room) because she is not going to uni and I obviously think she is very dumb and hate her... My boyfriend's brother has expressed to me that his girlfriend is jealous of my friendship with him and would prefer it if he did not message me on social media at all, and did not talk to me as much in person. However, they then turn around and tell my boyfriend and I that we do not 'include them' enough and don't give them enough attention. For some reason, when they gossip about me, my boyfriend's younger brother always tells my boyfriend. For example, he told my boyfriend that his girlfriend thinks it is very wrong that I am friends with my ex-boyfriend and I am disrespecting my current one. She has now messaged me to ask whether I have a problem with her?! I am gobsmacked. My boyfriend and I have done nothing but be nice to her. I feel like she is manipulating the situation to gain more attention and play the victim. This is causing me so much anxiety I don't want to go to my boyfriend's house. Please help!

Selena09 Need legal advice
  • replies: 3

I would like to leave my partner of about 2 years because things are not the same anymore. Sounds easy to just up and leave, only thing is we have a 5 month old son together and he says if I leave I’m not taking our son. Being a first time mum, I hat... View more

I would like to leave my partner of about 2 years because things are not the same anymore. Sounds easy to just up and leave, only thing is we have a 5 month old son together and he says if I leave I’m not taking our son. Being a first time mum, I hate letting my baby out of my sight so it would kill me leaving him altogether. I don’t get a say in what happens with baby although he is in my care 100%, my partner barely sees him because he works night shift then sleeps all day while I am being a mum, cooking and cleaning all day. So I need some advice on legal advice because I wouldn’t have a clue where to start and how to go about it. Things like finding a lawyer, what are the costs, how long does it go on for.. since I am the stay at home mum, I don’t have the steady solid income my partner has so money is a big problem for me. Also I don’t have a licence so getting to a lawyer is an issue because I live in a small town with hardly anything here. I am desperate to get out of here so any helpful response is appreciated.

IsabelAM Trying to help my partner but tired....
  • replies: 1

This is so hard to post and a long story. For the short term advice I'm looking for though is how to encourage my anxious and depressed partner (& father of our three young kids) to cut back/stop drinking. His new anti depressants seem to enable him ... View more

This is so hard to post and a long story. For the short term advice I'm looking for though is how to encourage my anxious and depressed partner (& father of our three young kids) to cut back/stop drinking. His new anti depressants seem to enable him to tolerate more alcohol than before - is that common? When we fight and he realises he should not have yelled at me the way he did, and saying the kids and i deserve he then gets really low, does not try and make things better, resorts to more drinking and stops talking and appears angry with me when I know he is angry at himself. We have been in a vicious cycle of ups and downs for years, so I am confident we will get through this as well but I always worry if this will be the time we can't overcome the black dog...

CKH Where to get support
  • replies: 1

Hi, I am really struggling to cope with an allegation that has been made to me within the family. I don't want to explain in extensive detail but the oversimplified version is that apparently my dad sexual abused this relative as a teenager and my mu... View more

Hi, I am really struggling to cope with an allegation that has been made to me within the family. I don't want to explain in extensive detail but the oversimplified version is that apparently my dad sexual abused this relative as a teenager and my mum apparently allowed/tried to justify it. All three people are grown adults so it is not a current thing. All three I would consider crucial in my growing up and development of my identity (for better or worse) so this has really completely knocked me and just everything about my family and myself. I am looking for any suggestions on what support groups there are for immediate family members of alleged sex offenders and also, if people think using such groups (if any) would be helpful or more detrimental right now.. I have some close friends I have talked to about it and a psychologist but I am feeling really alone in this specific situation and I am just struggling to get through each day.

Onepa Im moving with my husband and my mum wants to come
  • replies: 5

Ok. Long story short, my partner and I get married in three months. After our honeymoon we are moving to a very small town (1000 people) as he has taken a transfer. I'm really excited for the challenge of establishing ourselves as adults and for ours... View more

Ok. Long story short, my partner and I get married in three months. After our honeymoon we are moving to a very small town (1000 people) as he has taken a transfer. I'm really excited for the challenge of establishing ourselves as adults and for ourselves. However. After we told our family my mum has decided she was thinking about applying for a job in the same town. Basically. I don't want her too. I'm really excited about us being out of our comfort zone and having some time to ourselves. Establishing ourselves without our families etc. I don't know how to say to her I don't want her to apply. We are looking forward to it being just us. She takes everything to heart so I don't know how to approach the situation. Help?

Tearsfall Life is killing me and i dont have energyorstrength to fight
  • replies: 8

My partner doesnt drink all the time but when he does he drinks way too much. i keep it all to myself , but have talked to his mum about it i love him with all my heart and i know he loves me. But he told his mum im possessive ot obsessive and try to... View more

My partner doesnt drink all the time but when he does he drinks way too much. i keep it all to myself , but have talked to his mum about it i love him with all my heart and i know he loves me. But he told his mum im possessive ot obsessive and try to control him . She says he needs his space. Well he does what he damn well likes , goes where he wants and if we do anything together he will ask what i want to do . I reply i really dont mind . He makes all the decisions . He controls the money or should i say keeps his money to himself . But i share mine . I apparently have insecurities and issues. But i told his mum that "my only insecurity or issues" is that when he drinks he drives and that iv given up everything i had to be with him. Of course i worry about his drinking . If thats controlling him ? Im just easy going and relaxed but am offended that this is being said. I just want a good future with him . Is this his way of having control because his mum will always defend him? When i spoke to him about this he said he knows im not obsessive or posessive. I broke down at work the other day and was sent home. I feel embarrassed and like a fool im too shy to be a controller and i was just happy to have him in my life am i just being blamed cause he cant accept he is doing the wrong thing this stuff about me came up when his mum try to talk to him about his drinking ... it all got turned around on me . I was told along time ago when people cant accept what they do is wrong they shift focus and place blame on others close to them? im so exhausted i feel im slowly dying inside and dont have the energy to fight

lalatray How can I let go, move on, find peace
  • replies: 3

I've been feeling this way for more than 6 months. I've been obsessed with someone I cannot be with. I am in a long term relationship and it is good and something I need to hold on too. I love my partner but I'm also in love with this other person. K... View more

I've been feeling this way for more than 6 months. I've been obsessed with someone I cannot be with. I am in a long term relationship and it is good and something I need to hold on too. I love my partner but I'm also in love with this other person. Knowing the other person is dating makes me extremely jealous and crushed. I try my best to avoid this person and I think I am gradually distancing myself and it may be working. It is so hard though. I need to move on because I do not want to be with this other person in reality. I feel like I'm splitting into 2. So much so that I often feel lonely and physically disconnected from reality. I was stressed and unmotivated at work, so I quit with a game plan to advance my career and I'm currently looking for work. It is looking positive but change is hard. I feel like am forcing change on myself and I will find new problems and adventures to keep me occupied eventually. Sometimes all I want is peace and an end to these obsessive thoughts of an unattainable person. What can I do?